So this is a re-release of one of the (self-proclaimed) worst games ever made by a physical distributor/publisher known for scummy practices; as such the price is ludicrous for what you get (quite literally the main game with a barely functional "credit" system, one that you can easily exploit within the first two choices of the main game) that then has you pass through the most shovelware of UIs to unlock the content it actually wants you to see.

This content primarily consists of anything from 50% of it being talking heads from Limited Run Games fellating themselves for porting "the worst game of all time" to a minor subset of journalist filler to finally a small number of actual recent check-ins from developers and actors finally chiming in to their infamous creation 30 years later. The best of this material is a full gameplay commentary by none other than Jane herself, compounded with a 2024 introduction.

Somehow though, they felt inclined to remove one of the most infamous parts of a game they can't help but constantly remind you in infamous; the "uncensored" cheat. Imagine calling a game definitive, paste your own disclaimer at the beginning and yet still you're too scared to at least show the game in its DEFINITIVE state, thereby actively censoring it.

It seems insignifcant, but this was (as in true Limited Run style) a cash grab (they even try to convince you it's not in it's new introduction) designed fully to pay themselves on the back and say that they were able to port their self-proclaimed "worst game of all time" to modern systems, a title only really substantiated in its archives by a tired 40-something James Rolfe who takes full responsibility for the game's infamy.

For those that are uninitiated , this title was advertised in the 90's as an FMV game. When it reality, it originally only had 1 video in the game, and the rest of it was still pictures. But where I think that the game gets it's claim to fame is it's presentation mixed with it's outlandish storytelling. The soundtrack is also a lowkey banger in some areas. LRG did an amazing job with this remastering of the game. While I'm not really a big LRG fan, (because their games take a REALLY long time to get to me) I can really appreciate the work that was put into the version. It includes unused assets, behind the scenes, and developer interviews, with all of those locked behind a new 3-D maze mode which is similar to the first-person dungeon crawling experience of the original Persona. Overall, play this version if you have ever been interested in this game or have an interest in video game history.

Far and away the most egregiously misguided attempt at myth-making in games history. This isn't the worst game ever. It's not the weirdest game ever. It is not the 'first American produced visual novel.' Limited Run Games seems content to simply upend truth and provenance to push a valueless narrative. The 'so bad it's good' shtick serves only to lessen the importance of early multimedia CD-ROM software, and drenching it in WordArt and clip art imparts the notion that this digital heritage was low class, low brow, low effort, and altogether primitive.

This repackaging of an overlong workplace sexual harassment/rape joke is altogether uncomfortable at best. Further problematising this, accompanying merch is resplendent with Edward J. Fasulo's bare chest despite him seemingly wanting nothing to do with the project. We've got industry veterans and games historians talking up the importance of digital detritus alongside YouTubers and LRG employees, the latter making the former less credible. We've got a novelisation by Twitter 'comedian' Mike Drucker. We've got skate decks and body pillows and more heaps of plastic garbage for video game 'collectors' to shove on a dusty shelf next to their four colour variants of Jay and Silent Bob Mall Brawl on NES, cum-encrusted Shantae statue, and countless other bits of mass-produced waste that belongs in a landfill. Utterly shameful how we engage with the past.

Bonus Definitive Edition content:
Limited Run Games is genuinely one of the most poorly managed companies on earth and I will never forgive them for giving me a PS5 copy of Cthulhu Saves Christmas instead of what I had actually ordered, a System Shock boxart poster. They also keep sending me extra copies of Jeremy Parish's books. Please, I do not need three copies of Virtual Boy Works.

Spent $43.49 on this stupid meme (because I am a stupid man) that I will use to torture as many friends as I can trick into playing this with me until the end of time. First showing/play through involved my roommate who had no idea what this was (it's now his very favorite game, of course) and our one friend who, like myself, is well versed in the early years of the Angry Video Game Nerd, who's video on this "game" gave it a new life and eventually led to this Definitive Edition (I imagine this is his Oppenheimer moment/legacy). Good trash, sure, that I'm surprised didn't bore me/us more. Unlike actual passionate works with the mostly dreaded/misused "so bad it's good" title this is just really embarrassing/worrisome when you think about it's inception. Still, I look forward to torturing many more friends with a prime example of something that should've been left in the past.

1 star, obviously, but should be zero stars because of, you know, everything along with the addition of how much Limited Run Games sucks. Especially because of their added Plumb the Depths section, a bizarre, intentionally poor Doom(ish) knockoff used to unlock bonus content that should normally already be available once you complete the story but they needed to pad this thing out more given how short it is, which is maybe the stupidest thing I've ever seen in a "videogame". Looking forward to the day someone breaks into my apartment and as they're going through my physical Nintendo Switch collection they see Mario, Metroid, WarioWare, Tetris, Plumbers Don't Wear Ties. Can't wait to give this Best Narrative during Backloggd's Best of 2024 awards at the end of the year.