Can you feel them? The colors burning beneath your skin? Splatter is a first-person fever dream where you blast constantly-adapting enemies into neon sprays of pulp and slime. This world is one built for violence. It is a digital mindscape, surreal and yet strangely familiar, constructed by four anonymous administrators. To survive within it, you must overcome each challenge and outsmart hordes of creatures that learn as you defeat them. Blast enemies with your finger guns, chug cans of energy drinks, and maintain your brain chemistry in order to win. Your victories, however, may come at a terrible price. Can you uncover the motives of your captors before it is too late? Can you survive? Can you remain sane? Can you remain yourself?
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Really interesting arena shooter, maybe a bit too ingrained into internet culture at points, with humour becoming way too many layers deep into irony to really be anything at all. But for the most part the writing here is really solid and some great combat to go along side it, even if there are some issues with frame rate and floatiness of both the pc and enemies.
creativity and lsd injected into my graphics card makes estrogen in my cpu
This review contains spoilers
this is a game that i am sayin to you straight to your face "Sucks So Good" pause.
im not sayin this is like a disasterpiece game or something, im meaning that while i play this game it almost feels like the aesthetics and music and the designs of things are so vibrant and awesome that when youre in there with the meat of when youre playing youre fully aware that what youre playing is still totally Simple
This is a level to level based game, with some spongey enemies to blast down, you can choose how to approach shit with toggles that affect the health and the damage of enemies and also giving yourself some regen health shit to go along with it.
And that is FINE and COOL but I also found myself on a few times having a bit of a tinnitus droning effect a couple times like when I was playing Postal 1 earlier this year.
VERY brief comparison but integral to my review, even though that game has spectacle going on, its still eyecatching to where it loops back around into having you reflect on what youre even doing out here
The proctors that are overseeing each of these experiments in the sessions SUCK
they're all different people from different clusters of internet related user or just people in general thatve had some shit gained and taken through the sheer rise of the internet and the commodification of it i feel.
But even though these guys all suck and have their own flavor of bull to throw to you in almost 100% sure of themselves hope that your treck through the experiments will be at the gain and specific want of what They want you to be
they just get nothing and spiral and fuck off because even though theyre like caricatures of these types of forum ass people, theyre human! it doesnt make their insufferability more justified(personally i found their yammering pretty funny especially the religious dude's at the end) but when there's clearly hate stemming from different people that you can gauge a sense for how they got their to that point youre like "oh my god. i Literally have met someone pathetic like this before" and if youre someone playing that SEES yourself in any of the proctors.. owch! but also i hope this is a wakeup call
(..even though this game seems like very few people played it or finished it i mean ffs if i didnt hear about it through Twitter I would be pressed to find it on youtube because of how Splatterhouse is plastered everywhere and only one guy in existence has any footage of a longplay on youtube.. shoutout to that guy by the way for helping me figure out where the fuck the exits were in a couple of the Sessions LMFAO)
But at the end of the day Splatter "sucks so good" because its style is an effigy, a bastion of really fucking gnarly design and shit that personally speaks to me as a person, it feels like its mute yet a VERY loud person in a room wearing everything that it is on it's sleeve. and that even boils down to the ending which I think fully embodies what the point of it all was
it's not changing the world
it's not gonna give u salvation, its not gonna make nobody rich its far too niche for that, theres no proctors
Just you
the loadout
a seemingly never-ending flood of enemies and flourescent slurry popping out of them when you conquer flickering room after room after room watching your score tick up and up and up UNTIL
you die.
Just the pure loop at play
because that's what you came here for, you came here for a game that feels that good eyeitch out, some ironic and some genuine humor here and there and just a Good Time.
a schlocky at times Time but a good time and thats exactly what it nailed for me
Im giving this game a gold medal as a 'jodiecore' shooter but i feel as though itd be inaccurate to say this is a 5/5 game
the flaws ive listed while adding to the experience of the game I feel they dont automatically make the game Better retroactively in a universal sense to other people
even though thats kind of this game
its a you get it or you dont thing
its a vibrant and passionately angry thing
it's practically a character in existence in it's own right
oop almost finished the review without even talking about the weapons ok lets do that
the best ones are def: nail, slug, fist, chop, bomb, fuck,volt
honorable mentions to: rail,double, (theyre cool! but very situational or just feel like having a filler power around!)
i dont like: the goopy fart ball data powers,,, they make me so sad
But yeah thats way more than I thought id think and have to say about a game where there's fake popup ad jokes abt how its gonna make me cum in 0.38488 seconds and having a weapon where you just flip off your middle finger at a nearby enemy and it makes them explode with the vine boom sound effect LMAO its beautiful
and i didnt even get into all the unlockable shittttt or the customization
this game taught me that theres so many more nail styles in name than i originally even fuckin thought, embarrassing rlly but love that
plus the pride skins are great even though i was feelin nitpicky and think the trans pride flag is a lil off in the pink
but sapphic and hexadecimal aaaaaugh so many good alts
so gorgeous
i get to feel like a cunty rebellious genderthing while splattering guys on the walls while some guy cries and thumps his mic in the background abt how nothing in his life ever works out while the music is rotting my brain and im looking at the beautiful wall graffiti about a guy trying to find someone thats willing to eat actual literal shit and chairguy ahh i love chairguy new meme haha yeah what a guy...
the guys tht made this are jackasses(in affection <3)
im not sayin this is like a disasterpiece game or something, im meaning that while i play this game it almost feels like the aesthetics and music and the designs of things are so vibrant and awesome that when youre in there with the meat of when youre playing youre fully aware that what youre playing is still totally Simple
This is a level to level based game, with some spongey enemies to blast down, you can choose how to approach shit with toggles that affect the health and the damage of enemies and also giving yourself some regen health shit to go along with it.
And that is FINE and COOL but I also found myself on a few times having a bit of a tinnitus droning effect a couple times like when I was playing Postal 1 earlier this year.
VERY brief comparison but integral to my review, even though that game has spectacle going on, its still eyecatching to where it loops back around into having you reflect on what youre even doing out here
The proctors that are overseeing each of these experiments in the sessions SUCK
they're all different people from different clusters of internet related user or just people in general thatve had some shit gained and taken through the sheer rise of the internet and the commodification of it i feel.
But even though these guys all suck and have their own flavor of bull to throw to you in almost 100% sure of themselves hope that your treck through the experiments will be at the gain and specific want of what They want you to be
they just get nothing and spiral and fuck off because even though theyre like caricatures of these types of forum ass people, theyre human! it doesnt make their insufferability more justified(personally i found their yammering pretty funny especially the religious dude's at the end) but when there's clearly hate stemming from different people that you can gauge a sense for how they got their to that point youre like "oh my god. i Literally have met someone pathetic like this before" and if youre someone playing that SEES yourself in any of the proctors.. owch! but also i hope this is a wakeup call
(..even though this game seems like very few people played it or finished it i mean ffs if i didnt hear about it through Twitter I would be pressed to find it on youtube because of how Splatterhouse is plastered everywhere and only one guy in existence has any footage of a longplay on youtube.. shoutout to that guy by the way for helping me figure out where the fuck the exits were in a couple of the Sessions LMFAO)
But at the end of the day Splatter "sucks so good" because its style is an effigy, a bastion of really fucking gnarly design and shit that personally speaks to me as a person, it feels like its mute yet a VERY loud person in a room wearing everything that it is on it's sleeve. and that even boils down to the ending which I think fully embodies what the point of it all was
it's not changing the world
it's not gonna give u salvation, its not gonna make nobody rich its far too niche for that, theres no proctors
Just you
the loadout
a seemingly never-ending flood of enemies and flourescent slurry popping out of them when you conquer flickering room after room after room watching your score tick up and up and up UNTIL
you die.
Just the pure loop at play
because that's what you came here for, you came here for a game that feels that good eyeitch out, some ironic and some genuine humor here and there and just a Good Time.
a schlocky at times Time but a good time and thats exactly what it nailed for me
Im giving this game a gold medal as a 'jodiecore' shooter but i feel as though itd be inaccurate to say this is a 5/5 game
the flaws ive listed while adding to the experience of the game I feel they dont automatically make the game Better retroactively in a universal sense to other people
even though thats kind of this game
its a you get it or you dont thing
its a vibrant and passionately angry thing
it's practically a character in existence in it's own right
oop almost finished the review without even talking about the weapons ok lets do that
the best ones are def: nail, slug, fist, chop, bomb, fuck,volt
honorable mentions to: rail,double, (theyre cool! but very situational or just feel like having a filler power around!)
i dont like: the goopy fart ball data powers,,, they make me so sad
But yeah thats way more than I thought id think and have to say about a game where there's fake popup ad jokes abt how its gonna make me cum in 0.38488 seconds and having a weapon where you just flip off your middle finger at a nearby enemy and it makes them explode with the vine boom sound effect LMAO its beautiful
and i didnt even get into all the unlockable shittttt or the customization
this game taught me that theres so many more nail styles in name than i originally even fuckin thought, embarrassing rlly but love that
plus the pride skins are great even though i was feelin nitpicky and think the trans pride flag is a lil off in the pink
but sapphic and hexadecimal aaaaaugh so many good alts
so gorgeous
i get to feel like a cunty rebellious genderthing while splattering guys on the walls while some guy cries and thumps his mic in the background abt how nothing in his life ever works out while the music is rotting my brain and im looking at the beautiful wall graffiti about a guy trying to find someone thats willing to eat actual literal shit and chairguy ahh i love chairguy new meme haha yeah what a guy...
the guys tht made this are jackasses(in affection <3)
nauseating in all the right ways, also has a teeth brushing snuff film
A satisfação de matar um inimigo nesse jogo com a shotgun é tão boa que em certos momentos me fez lembrar da spas do FEAR. Amo muitas coisas desse jogo os visuais e PRINCIPALMENTE A TRILHA, não bicho serio, dar uma escutada nrml, porém eu devo admitir que experiência foi bem desgastante mais ainda na segunda fase que é bem fácil de cair por causa de um dash errado.
If the last half-decade has demonstrated anything, it is that the terminally online rhetoric of post-ironic who-gives-a-shit is metastasising. Vine was a benign growth, TikTok a malignant tumour. The netizen-hive-mind-collective that 'solved' the Boston Bombing is directly responsible for the fashwave that is/has/does/will erode democracy. Your grandpa has FOMO and bought $GME to 💎🙌 to the moon and we're all gonna make it, gm, gn, and you're buying into my shitcoin so I can rugpull you because Blizzard nerfed Siphon Life during Obamna's first term. Video games and anime used to be so much better before this forced diversity bullshit ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴀʀᴇ yᴏᴜ ꜱᴀyɪɴɢ ᴅᴏ yᴏᴜ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʜɪᴛ ᴅʀɪʙʙʟɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ yᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴜᴛʜ yᴏᴜ ᴄʀᴇᴛɪɴ took away the possibility of me getting a tradwife with Abigail Shapiro's body and Marin Kitagawa's face while I [REDACTED] to Angela White after a month of semen retention and get those GAIN$$$$ because there's always a bigger fool and it sure as fuck isn't me and you just don't get this new meme and I'm being gangstalked and I haven't [As the owner of a LandNFT, you own your individual Metalverse patch and secure a permanently assigned place on the Met---
The Milennials are the new Boomers [GEN-X ERASURE] and even the Zoomers are coming of age and they've been inundated with information and bullshit bullshit bullshit so they're casting a mirror back at this fucked up world we've made for them in their own art but some people are trying to be cute and coy with it and you get a YIIK or a Neon Whitebut at least one of those was a good game even if it was still corpo-white-washed faux-sthetics. And your cute and coy attempts and being quirky fail to represent how angry you should be that you were born into this mess of a world because don't you know anger results in nothing? Why yes my favourite podcasts are My Brother, My Brother & Me, and The Adventure Zone, I love to choke down the fetid slurry that is the McElroys' toxic positivity of no bummers and horses and you're being force fed advertisements for fast food and you can't even open your eyes to realise it.
So when a game has the moxie to be viscerally angry, I have to take notice because that feels so genuine in the hyperrealistic world we inhabit. And Splatter is mad that the Internet has made us manipulative, lonely, nostalgic, deluded, greedy, and ultimately willing to harm others (or ourselves) for some gain, be it financial or spiritual or egotistical or chemical. This works where other games borne of the online mindset falter because this runs deep. Rat King Collective didn't disconnect to craft up some malformed half-simulacra that is outdated before it comes out. They never stopped being online, they didn't go for the here and now, they struck at the core of fourteen-year-old-me's identity. This isn't the cream of the crap, this is the dregs of a multitude of online cultures that you, yes, had to be there for. Or maybe you didn't. Does it matter? This goes deep enough that a missed referential quip refuses a reading of "oh this is one of those internet things I don't get," it simply recedes into the background, a cacophony of noise.
It isn't as if the gameplay is some marvel though. It's a spongy xoomer-shooter affair with hand guns and a Dark Souls Borne Ring dodge and commitment to the bit. A leaping enemy is gonna leap! Your dodge isn't going to give you i-frames but it'll get you out of the way and into a new harm's way. I'm not here for the gameplay anyways, it's a means to an end.
This is the video game equivalent of B.R. Yeager's Amygdalatropolis and I ravenously ate it up. Get mad. Wreck shit. Tear it all down. WORLD IS A FUCK
The Milennials are the new Boomers [GEN-X ERASURE] and even the Zoomers are coming of age and they've been inundated with information and bullshit bullshit bullshit so they're casting a mirror back at this fucked up world we've made for them in their own art but some people are trying to be cute and coy with it and you get a YIIK or a Neon White
So when a game has the moxie to be viscerally angry, I have to take notice because that feels so genuine in the hyperrealistic world we inhabit. And Splatter is mad that the Internet has made us manipulative, lonely, nostalgic, deluded, greedy, and ultimately willing to harm others (or ourselves) for some gain, be it financial or spiritual or egotistical or chemical. This works where other games borne of the online mindset falter because this runs deep. Rat King Collective didn't disconnect to craft up some malformed half-simulacra that is outdated before it comes out. They never stopped being online, they didn't go for the here and now, they struck at the core of fourteen-year-old-me's identity. This isn't the cream of the crap, this is the dregs of a multitude of online cultures that you, yes, had to be there for. Or maybe you didn't. Does it matter? This goes deep enough that a missed referential quip refuses a reading of "oh this is one of those internet things I don't get," it simply recedes into the background, a cacophony of noise.
It isn't as if the gameplay is some marvel though. It's a spongy xoomer-shooter affair with hand guns and a Dark Souls Borne Ring dodge and commitment to the bit. A leaping enemy is gonna leap! Your dodge isn't going to give you i-frames but it'll get you out of the way and into a new harm's way. I'm not here for the gameplay anyways, it's a means to an end.
This is the video game equivalent of B.R. Yeager's Amygdalatropolis and I ravenously ate it up. Get mad. Wreck shit. Tear it all down. WORLD IS A FUCK