I've never struggled with writing a review for a game like I have with Firewatch. Upon finishing it and collecting my thoughts, I was left feeling extremely conflicted and confused. That’s the main reason why I decided not to give the game a score at the time of writing this. The common consensus of Firewatch is that it’s a well written walking sim with a really unsatisfying twist and downer ending. It felt like the game was giving you choices that might determine the outcome of the narrative, when that really wasn’t the case at all. Of course, I initially thought that too. It felt like the game was building up to something much more than that, something bigger, and when you make it to the end and you find that there really isn’t anything else to it, you’re left feeling disappointed and empty. The thing is, I feel like that was the point the game is trying to make.

I believe that the primary message of Firewatch is that when life throws awful things your way, or when you make poor choices that lead to horrible consequences, you need to face them head on, and you can’t rely on escapism to avoid them, because at the end of the day, your problems will still be there. I think that the main plot delivers this message in a way that’s very difficult to swallow. Delilah mentions at the very beginning of the game how people only take the job of a fire lookout in order to get away from something, specifically she means the things in life that are burdensome or traumatizing. Henry is there as a way of coping with the fact that his wife is suffering from dementia and had moved back in with her family in Australia. She might not even remember who he is anymore, and he doesn’t want to face or accept that.

Delilah is there to escape from the fact that her ex-boyfriend, Javier, left her after his brother was killed in a town called Gillette (which, after doing some Googling, is apparently a town known for mining, which could mean that he died in a mining accident). He left because Delilah was too focused on her dream of becoming an instructor for the Wyoming Outdoor Leadership School and she didn’t provide any sort of emotional or moral support to him during this delicate time. Delilah also ended up lying to her sister about the reason behind the break up, stating that Javier had sex with their neighbor, and had continued to lie about it for over ten years.

Then, there’s the Goodwins, Ned and Brian. It’s not revealed in-game why Ned and Brian were at the park to begin with, but I think it’s highly likely Ned just wasn’t happy with how his son was turning out. Brian was an introverted boy who loved science, fantasy, and comic books, and Ned very much gave off the impression of being your stereotypical stern, masculinity-obsessed Father who didn’t understand any of that stuff and wanted his son to be more of a man. Based on the cassette tape he leaves for Henry at the end of the game, I suspect he brought Brain out there in order to put some hair on his chest, or something like that. Then, after Brian’s death, Ned chooses to live in the woods alone, both in order to make sure that no one learns about what happened to Brian and finds his body in cave 452, and so that he didn’t have to face the reality of his son’s death and the consequences of bringing Brian out into the wilderness when it was against park regulations.

The game leaves this up to the player’s interpretation, but I think that Delilah was likely supporting Ned the entire time. The conversation that you overhear near the start of the game, after you first emerge from cave 452 and encounter the mysterious figure, clearly indicates that she was talking to someone about Henry, and that it was a conversation you were not meant to hear. If there was no conspiracy, no government agents recording Henry and Delilah’s conversations over the course of the summer, and it was just Ned out there the entire time, then I don’t see how Delilah could’ve been talking to anyone else during that conversation. Ned was probably freaking out regarding the fact that you went into the cave. You also have to consider Delilah’s position as the manager of the fire lookouts. When you find Ned’s bunker at the end of the game, it’s filled with supplies, and unless he’s just been going around stealing from campers all of these years, I don’t see how he was able to get these things without Delilah’s help. She likely ordered additional supplies be delivered and shared them at various supply caches for Ned to collect from. I think she might have done this because she knew about Brian’s death. Either she sympathized with Ned’s desire to stay in the park and keep from facing reality, or she was afraid there would be repercussions against her since she had more than ample time to report Brian’s presence to higher-ups and didn’t say anything. Regardless, I think that by the end of the game, she’s overcome with guilt and regret over what happened and comes to the realization that she and Ned were wrong to do what they did instead of owning up to the mistakes they made.

That’s why I think the narrative unfolds the way that it does. Players likely go into Firewatch not really knowing what to expect, thinking that it’ll be a piece of media that can act as a way to entertain themselves and use as a temporary escape from their own problems in life. When they find the game doesn’t really provide that, that the story that was seemingly being built up doesn't go in the direction they expected to, and then concludes the way that it does, I totally get feeling burnt by that. I certainly felt the same way in the heat of the moment. In conjunction with the narrative, I believe this is the game’s way of communicating its themes regarding escapism. You can use things like art and media to distract yourself from whatever it is in life that you don’t want to acknowledge, but until you face them yourself, no matter what you do, your problems will always be there. It’s an extremely bitter pill to swallow.

Did I have fun with Firewatch? I’ll be honest: no, I didn’t. However, I do think that Firewatch most definitely affected me in the way the creators intended to. That’s what makes reviewing this game so difficult, and why it leaves me so conflicted. I truly feel like I can’t give this game a rating. It’s weird, I’ve never run into something like this before. I’m usually able to easily express my opinions, how I came to form them, and rate a game based on them. Firewatch is entitled to all of the credit in the world for making me think and mull over so hard about it. It’s absolutely a worthwhile experience and something to discuss and debate with others, which in all honesty, is one of the highest compliments you could give to art. That being said, I can’t say that it’s a game I enjoyed at all, nor is it one that I think I can fondly reflect on. Maybe it’s because to a degree, I feel called out by it. Maybe it’s because I just can’t get over my immediate reaction of being let down that everyone else has towards the twist and ending. I really don’t know. All I know is that I really don’t like how this game makes me feel.