-Yanks finger out of nose with big booger I love demeaning anime tropes and values 😜
-Birthright is the game equivalent of daycare. You would've thought the weapon triangle was removed if you were only paying attention to the baby rattle that is the melodrama that goes nowhere.
-Ryoma and company are sooo boooorrriiiing like widderwally. I had no remorse in my soul when they died in other runs.
-Conquest is better, but they pace it in a way where your forced to couple up your units together for more stages. Skill inheritence is pretty epic from Awakening, but it makes no story sense here. Also, the game giving you the option to marry them, these children who were put in a cave where time moves faster; I'm gonna be sick 🤮
-Cast is good in this one, with Takumi as one of the main baddie being pretty fun. Deaths from Hoshido feel like they matter. Three awakening characters coming back also made me wojak point and gasp at the screen.
-I've had more memorable school bathroom stall experiences than the whole of Revelations. If you want real fanfiction, go check out wherever those Sonic X Writer stories are 😏
-Not one support conversation between the two version's cast is memorable. What. a. waste 😴
-No more streetpass, no more Flora in the party, sorry kid
-I wish Alex G was in this game

Only halfway through Revelation as of writing this but I thought I’d write my review now as I don’t see my opinions so far changing anytime soon but Fire Emblem Fates has been a really baffling experience for me. For everything it does right on a gameplay front, it seems to do everything wrong from a story point of view.

The gameplay is everything you could ask for and more. Building your units has never genuinely felt better than it does here, it’s easy and incredibly intuitive even for someone like me who likes to barrel her way through these games without really paying attention to what I’m really doing with my builds. The map designs are really hit or miss lije always, especially in Birthright but good lord, the maps in Conquest are really the most fun I’ve had with the series in years. Some of the gimmicks can be a bit annoying but they never take away from the fun gameplay loop that Fire Emblem consistently delivers.

I can’t really say the same about the story and in particular, the writing in the game as a whole. Most, if not all the characters in the main story are incredibly shallow, one-note and only exist to deliver exposition before disappearing completely. The pacing in both Birthright and especially Conquest are also just egregiously terrible and with the story giving you no time to connect with these characters, emotional beats fall incredibly flat. The world-building is next to nonexistent with the story choosing to focus solely on the Kingdoms of Nohr and Hoshido while also failing to explore in any meaningful manner.

That’s not to say there isn’t anything in Fates to love because on the contrary there’s a lot. The music is phenomenal, the character designs are some of the best in the series to date and the overall aesthetic is amazing. The characters are shallow but some are incredibly charming in their own right, the supports can range from questionable to really good and adorable but there is something there I think, Fates has charms in spades almost in spite of itself.

Now, the question is ultimately “Should you play this game?” and my answer will always be yes. Fire Emblem Fates is a very confusing mess that tries INCREDIBLY hard to justify it’s three routes at the cost of a coherent overarching story and some of it’s narrative decisions are utterly baffling but the characters are so lovable and charming despite their lack of depth and they make that extremely subpar story ultimately worth going through with the help of the game’s amazing backbone that is it’s gameplay, music and overall aesthetic.

(also they have the really weird baby dimension for the offsprings of your units and that is incredibly funny)