10 reviews liked by AnxiousOrcus


So glad this came out, I missed the time when licensed games were incredibly horrible and abhorrent messes.

It really is just a straight port of the 3DS original which is a bit of a bummer, however the controls being on a real controller instead of the 3DS and having the game on a full screen did make the experience better for me. Still the same game I really liked back in 2013! (with the best multiplayer mode in any Nintendo game don't @ me)

Little known fact: This game gaslights you into thinking mario is real

It's genuinely shocking how uncomfortable this game is to play, and how cynical it is as a product. This game constantly tells you to use your motion controls and to look into the gamepad, in more of an effort to convince itself that its not a fundamental failure, rather than letting the player have fun.

A foolhardy, nostalgia obsessed title that dragged a struggling franchise into its grave.

Let's pour one out for all the little kids who had to do these insanely punishing jumping segments on an original recipe PS1 controller. No analog sticks. No emulation save states. No PS5 rewind feature (which I abused constantly on this playthrough).

Those poor, tortured children. If any 8-year-old made it to the top of that apartment building to beat that clown boss, they were legally an adult by the time they turned off their console.

Probably cool as an attraction in the park, but at home playing this on a tuesday at 7 PM on my Wii? No

you can play as Josh Wise's horrible dogecoin car and swag on the bots with it before eating shit and dying in an explosion in the last 2 seconds

The solo games suck, but the multiplayer ones are each individually the most fun party games ever made.

I have no idea what happened here, this is a really awful remake in my opinion. The underlying game is still fairly intact and nothing mechanically is completely ruined so it had the bare minimum going for it as a remake. There are some glitches and sound issues here and there but nothing experience ruining. I think this game just sucks because diamond and pearl NEEDED the remake treatment so badly, those games haven't aged perfectly and a remake was a perfect opportunity to bring gen 4 into the modern era. BDSP offers basically no improvements over the originals, it's the first remake to keep the exact same dex as the original game. It "fixes" issues like HMs by literally just doing them automatically for you which doesn't feel like I'm really even playing the game and just feels like a band aid solution. I do genuinely hate how this game looks though, all other issues aside it is just a very ugly version of diamond and pearl. Translating the sprites literally into 3D models does not work when spritework is an entirely different art form that relies a lot on abstraction for things to appear realistic. Like a bunch of copy pasted tree sprites looks normal in a sprite based game because we understand that that is what a forest looks like and if it weren't for the limitations of the hardware that would look like a proper forest. BDSP now just does the exact same thing with 3D models and just ends up looking really lazy. Another massive issue I have is the fact that you have full analogue movement but they didn't change the map layout at all, the game was not designed for this in the slightest and it results in you crashing into box colliders everywhere and constantly getting snagged on edges. I'd never willingly play this game over the originals, especially when there is a definitive version of those games which BDSP undid literally all of the changes from btw.

The developers could have hidden a new Star Fox game on the Game Over screen, and nobody would ever find out.