This review contains spoilers

I didn't think I would dislike anything more than Persona 4 but here we are.

Gameplay: Based on the demo, the combat was a bit better than the first part of the Remake, but it was still pretty dogshit. It feels too slow and the mechanics are not fun to play with at all imo. However, playable Sephiroth made this unbearably horrible combat fun for at least a little while. I'm genuinely unsure how anyone can sit down, play this game, and think "yeah, this is good". Final Fantasy XVI's combat (or Square Enix's best action combat system: Kingdom Hearts II) should be the standard going forward for future FF titles since VIIR's combat is so unbearable I refuse to play this game beyond the demo, and just decided to watch cutscenes on YouTube instead. They also added more unnecessary, long walks basically Sony-fying this game just like the first part which is ironic since some of the weebs who praise this Remake trilogy complain about said Sony games.

Story: Some things were done better than Remake, some done worse. I would say the filler for the most part wasn't as bad as Remake's. There were some nice additions such as how they included Yuffie into the story. However, the filler still holds this game back a lot by making the story much slower paced than the original. I find it ironic that the complaints for FFXVI being slow paced aren't applied to this trilogy when this is objectively A LOT slower. They are taking a roughly 30 hour story and padding it out to ~120 hours, assuming Part 3 is also ~40 hours which is also uncertain currently since the first two parts only cover the first disc of the game, and there are still two discs remaining. The third part might be a lot longer than Part 1 and 2 in order to cover the rest of the story. Anyways, I would say the story is better than Remake's story overall until the ending. The ending really ruined the whole game I feel. Not sure why they decided to add timeline shenanigans which really brought down the story a lot. This trilogy's story is worse than even KH Re:Coded.

It's hard to say if I like Remake or Rebirth more, but they are both garbage anyway so i guess it doesn't really matter. This trilogy is a horrible remake and these two games (and probably the third one) are my least favorite games ever. I'm fully convinced the praise for this trilogy is just due to the good graphics and FFVII bias since I genuinely don't see any positive qualities. It feels like a complete disrespect to the original FFVII (which I'm not even a huge fan of so don't go saying "YoU jUsT cAn'T aCcEpT cHaNgE" or any other bs).

I hope the rumored FFIX Remake gets canceled because I don't want to see my favorite FF get butchered so badly. I'd rather play a shoddy remake like Pokémon BDSP or Let's Go.

Reviewed on Mar 01, 2024


21 Comments


2 months ago

u got spiderman 2 and kh3 in your top 5

2 months ago

average spiderman enjoyer LMAO

2 months ago

Yikes

2 months ago

@mickey @memo01 Both have much better stories and gameplay than this

2 months ago

Yeah? Well, that's, like... your opinion, man.

2 months ago

Kingdom Hearts fan

2 months ago

@SmashBlack KH is way better lol

2 months ago

why are we posting fake reviews?

2 months ago

@Beecorn be so for real. I am really unsure of FF7 Rebirth's fanfic ass story but it already beats out whatever garbage was going on in KH3. Also you didn't finish the game so idk why you're posting reviews already, either you did because you completely rushed just to reviewbomb it, or you didn't and you're writing a review for a game you didn't finish

2 months ago

@Mickey I said I watched the cutscenes in the review, and I watched all of them so I didn't rush the review. And nah KH3 is better than whatever garbage is in these remakes by far. It doesn't completely pad out an already solid, existing story with so much filler.

2 months ago

@Beecorn KH3 doesn't even have a story, they put all the important shit at the very end and it's still rushed

2 months ago

@Mickey All the story is at the end but it still clears 7R, and the Disney worlds are fun to go through at least unlike most of 7R besides Frozen.

2 months ago

@Beecorn I think KH3 is fun to an extent, but 7R is a lot more fun in almost every category. I've already accepted that the story isn't completely following the original 4 years ago

2 months ago

@Mickey Gotta disagree, KH3 is a lot more fun imo. FF7R feels like a huge slog to get through.

2 months ago

@Mickey FF7R feels worse in every category

2 months ago

@Beecorn Aight bro, whatever you say. Nobody is gonna take you seriously when you just give the game a half star with a serious review cause in reality nobody finds it that bad even if they do have issues with it

2 months ago

@Mickey Not true bro I've seen others hate it a lot too, but to each their own opinion

2 months ago

This comment was deleted

1 month ago

bro really opened a "Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth FULL MOVIE (1440p)" watched and said "yeah, i played the game, i can review it" holy shit.

1 month ago

Removed by a moderator

1 month ago

You seriously just watched the cutscenes and thought that you could judge the game on that alone? Jesus lmao

1 month ago

@DICE @tunasalad I don't see why I can't. You only need cutscenes to know the story, and as for the gameplay I'm judging the demo and I said that in the review.

1 month ago

@LarryDavis yours ain't any better tbh