Ranking My 20 Favorite Mario Kart Tracks Using Tangentially Related Games
Any track from any Mario Kart will qualify here, however for repeated tracks I will specify which game it is from. I think when it comes to retro tracks I may lump every track into one entry and just describe my favorite version in the description itself.
Since not every track is included here, a few honorable mentions (in alphabetical order):
Animal Crossing
Banshee Boardwalk
Bowser's Castle (Mario Kart Wii)
Bowser's Castle (Mario Kart: Double Dash!!)
Bowser's Castle (Mario Kart 8)
Coconut Mall
Daisy Cruiser
Delfino Square
DK Mountain
Excitebike Arena
Luigi's Mansion
Rainbow Road (Super Mario Kart)
Ribbon Road
Shy Guy Bazaar
Sunshine Airport
Super Bell Subway
Toad's Turnpike
Wild Woods
Yoshi Circuit
Since not every track is included here, a few honorable mentions (in alphabetical order):
Animal Crossing
Banshee Boardwalk
Bowser's Castle (Mario Kart Wii)
Bowser's Castle (Mario Kart: Double Dash!!)
Bowser's Castle (Mario Kart 8)
Coconut Mall
Daisy Cruiser
Delfino Square
DK Mountain
Excitebike Arena
Luigi's Mansion
Rainbow Road (Super Mario Kart)
Ribbon Road
Shy Guy Bazaar
Sunshine Airport
Super Bell Subway
Toad's Turnpike
Wild Woods
Yoshi Circuit
20 Games
Airship Fortress
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I don't think there is a single thing I dislike about this course, it's perfect and we just need to go through the whole thing this time as if we're racing through it right now.
You start outside an airship with Bullet Bills firing at you from a distance. It's already cool enough that we have a stage based on something exclusively Mario, but starting the track off with a full frontal assault really sets the mood nicely. It's not too tricky to dodge the cannon fire but you'll get at least a small spike in blood pressure before the main event.
Once you board the main ship, you gotta perform a perfect drift while attacked by asshole Rocky Wrenches who have nothing better to do. What makes this drift so fucking satisfying is that you can kill the little dipshits by running right over the manholes before they appear, allowing you to become a pro racer and a murderer at the same time.
After another tight u-turn that makes you feel so alive, you must dodge two fiery beams of death. One flame cannon would be tricky enough, but having two forces you to really think about your approach, as without the perfect zigzag you will probably be incinerated.
After that we hop into a cannon. Any course with a cannon is a 10/10 anyways so props here.
Finally we end off with the spiral tower, probably my favorite part of the course. How many drifts can you pull off here? Or maybe you want to keep it as one long drift to stay close to the left wall. No matter which you choose, it serves as an incredible descent back to the finish line, only helped by a small pit right before the end that you can potentially hop over to save like a quarter of a second.
A masterpiece in every way, not a micrometer of the track is wasted and this is probably the only course I have ever been able to get a decent time trial on. A pivotal moment of my Mario Kart experience and I hope to see it again some day.
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I don't think there is a single thing I dislike about this course, it's perfect and we just need to go through the whole thing this time as if we're racing through it right now.
You start outside an airship with Bullet Bills firing at you from a distance. It's already cool enough that we have a stage based on something exclusively Mario, but starting the track off with a full frontal assault really sets the mood nicely. It's not too tricky to dodge the cannon fire but you'll get at least a small spike in blood pressure before the main event.
Once you board the main ship, you gotta perform a perfect drift while attacked by asshole Rocky Wrenches who have nothing better to do. What makes this drift so fucking satisfying is that you can kill the little dipshits by running right over the manholes before they appear, allowing you to become a pro racer and a murderer at the same time.
After another tight u-turn that makes you feel so alive, you must dodge two fiery beams of death. One flame cannon would be tricky enough, but having two forces you to really think about your approach, as without the perfect zigzag you will probably be incinerated.
After that we hop into a cannon. Any course with a cannon is a 10/10 anyways so props here.
Finally we end off with the spiral tower, probably my favorite part of the course. How many drifts can you pull off here? Or maybe you want to keep it as one long drift to stay close to the left wall. No matter which you choose, it serves as an incredible descent back to the finish line, only helped by a small pit right before the end that you can potentially hop over to save like a quarter of a second.
A masterpiece in every way, not a micrometer of the track is wasted and this is probably the only course I have ever been able to get a decent time trial on. A pivotal moment of my Mario Kart experience and I hope to see it again some day.
1
Ninja Hideaway
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Was anyone aware that a game like Mario Kart Tour was capable of something this amazing? I sure as shit wasn't.
The amount of split paths and optional shortcuts will make your head spin, the kinetic energy of transitioning between higher and lower levels rivals smoking crack, and your skill at the game will always be rewarded as you glide around like a madman from platform to platform like a man on a mission.
The theme is incredible. This ninja Shy Guy structure has so much detail to it and you can't help but feel immersed into the experience like you yourself are a ninja under the tutelage of some timid little fellas. Every vertex involved in creating the setting here needs to be noted for how meticulous it is.
The music may be the most important factor though. I can't believe how amazing this song is, bringing an action vibe to an already intense level that also serves as a massive bop you could blast on any occasion. One of the best music tracks in the entire franchise.
Not only is the course legitimately amazing compared to the entire lexicon of Mario Kart tracks, it also makes every other booster course pack look like chump change in comparison it's actually a massacre holy shit.
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Was anyone aware that a game like Mario Kart Tour was capable of something this amazing? I sure as shit wasn't.
The amount of split paths and optional shortcuts will make your head spin, the kinetic energy of transitioning between higher and lower levels rivals smoking crack, and your skill at the game will always be rewarded as you glide around like a madman from platform to platform like a man on a mission.
The theme is incredible. This ninja Shy Guy structure has so much detail to it and you can't help but feel immersed into the experience like you yourself are a ninja under the tutelage of some timid little fellas. Every vertex involved in creating the setting here needs to be noted for how meticulous it is.
The music may be the most important factor though. I can't believe how amazing this song is, bringing an action vibe to an already intense level that also serves as a massive bop you could blast on any occasion. One of the best music tracks in the entire franchise.
Not only is the course legitimately amazing compared to the entire lexicon of Mario Kart tracks, it also makes every other booster course pack look like chump change in comparison it's actually a massacre holy shit.
2
Shy Guy Falls
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This just has it all.
The waterfall ascent is such a cool idea that it has the potential to dwarf the other aspects of the stage. Taking full advantage of the anti-gravity allowing you to scale such a unique landmark raises adrenaline significantly, only helped by the descent into a gliding section keeping momentum through the roof.
I am quite a fan of the setting too, but the music track kind of takes the cake. One of my favorite songs from any video game ever, and that's not even including the version where the Shy Guys belt their hearts out on rhythm. Very few things on Earth give me as much happiness as this.
It's pretty tragic that Shy Guy fell but at least he made a great race course before he did.
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This just has it all.
The waterfall ascent is such a cool idea that it has the potential to dwarf the other aspects of the stage. Taking full advantage of the anti-gravity allowing you to scale such a unique landmark raises adrenaline significantly, only helped by the descent into a gliding section keeping momentum through the roof.
I am quite a fan of the setting too, but the music track kind of takes the cake. One of my favorite songs from any video game ever, and that's not even including the version where the Shy Guys belt their hearts out on rhythm. Very few things on Earth give me as much happiness as this.
It's pretty tragic that Shy Guy fell but at least he made a great race course before he did.
3
Waluigi Pinball
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I think if we were able to poll every person who has ever played Mario Kart what their favorite track was, it would either be this or Coconut Mall. Both are great, but I quite like this.
Just the sheer concept of driving around in Waluigi's neon acropolis resembling a pinball machine is great as it is, but it's so genius that you actually take the role of the pinball through this adventure, giving you a sense of perspective and a very clear line through the course that just makes too much sense.
This is further bolstered by the final stretch where you have to dodge the unstoppable metal balls and navigate past a sweaty try-hard Waluigi who wants a high score. We've also got an absolutely killer music track playing in the background that never ceases to raise hype levels dramatically.
Anyway Waluigi Vending Machine when?
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I think if we were able to poll every person who has ever played Mario Kart what their favorite track was, it would either be this or Coconut Mall. Both are great, but I quite like this.
Just the sheer concept of driving around in Waluigi's neon acropolis resembling a pinball machine is great as it is, but it's so genius that you actually take the role of the pinball through this adventure, giving you a sense of perspective and a very clear line through the course that just makes too much sense.
This is further bolstered by the final stretch where you have to dodge the unstoppable metal balls and navigate past a sweaty try-hard Waluigi who wants a high score. We've also got an absolutely killer music track playing in the background that never ceases to raise hype levels dramatically.
Anyway Waluigi Vending Machine when?
4
Baby Park
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The great equalizer of Mario Kart. Nothing sends more dread down the spines of kart racers than when that one asshole decides to pick Baby Park for their next race.
This is where the boys become men, where professional Mario Kart veterans will get dead last and newbies playing for the first time can get 1st. Every match on this track is completely incomprehensible and you may find yourself going insane as the four second song loop blasts through your speakers. If anyone claims that they have a single idea as to what's happening while racing here then they are not to be trusted.
Double Dash easily has the best rendition of this course due to the implementation of the special items. Nothing embodies the energy that this course gives off more than having a giant Bowser shell taking up an entire lane while Mario and Luigi blast fireballs behind you and Donkey Kong just shat out five giant bananas creating an impenetrable fortress at the finish line.
There should be challenges where you try to complete a race on this stage without getting hit by anything that sounds both fun and incredibly painful.
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The great equalizer of Mario Kart. Nothing sends more dread down the spines of kart racers than when that one asshole decides to pick Baby Park for their next race.
This is where the boys become men, where professional Mario Kart veterans will get dead last and newbies playing for the first time can get 1st. Every match on this track is completely incomprehensible and you may find yourself going insane as the four second song loop blasts through your speakers. If anyone claims that they have a single idea as to what's happening while racing here then they are not to be trusted.
Double Dash easily has the best rendition of this course due to the implementation of the special items. Nothing embodies the energy that this course gives off more than having a giant Bowser shell taking up an entire lane while Mario and Luigi blast fireballs behind you and Donkey Kong just shat out five giant bananas creating an impenetrable fortress at the finish line.
There should be challenges where you try to complete a race on this stage without getting hit by anything that sounds both fun and incredibly painful.
5
Wario's Gold Mine
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This is what it would feel like if you could drive on a roller coaster. From the very first descent down to the hairpin turns and interior setting, all of it screams amusement park ride and I adore every second of the experience.
This isn't your grandpa's roller coaster either. Wooden coasters already send enough turbulence through your body to herniate a disk, but imagine that feeling mixed with getting pulverized by other carts and some piece of shit also keeps leaving banana peels on the rails. It could kill you in real life but that's why it's so much fun in Mario Kart. Danger is hilarious.
It's such a unique theme that manages to take a decrepit, saturated canyon setting and bring it to life with wacky designs and hard-working Shy Guys. The music helps with the hectic energy, making you feel like your in a car chase on train tracks while the mafia is in hot pursuit, all the while a gang of Shy Guys sing along in unison.
While I would love to see an actually good Mario Kart track based off of an amusement park, if this is the closest we get for a while then I'm ok with that.
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This is what it would feel like if you could drive on a roller coaster. From the very first descent down to the hairpin turns and interior setting, all of it screams amusement park ride and I adore every second of the experience.
This isn't your grandpa's roller coaster either. Wooden coasters already send enough turbulence through your body to herniate a disk, but imagine that feeling mixed with getting pulverized by other carts and some piece of shit also keeps leaving banana peels on the rails. It could kill you in real life but that's why it's so much fun in Mario Kart. Danger is hilarious.
It's such a unique theme that manages to take a decrepit, saturated canyon setting and bring it to life with wacky designs and hard-working Shy Guys. The music helps with the hectic energy, making you feel like your in a car chase on train tracks while the mafia is in hot pursuit, all the while a gang of Shy Guys sing along in unison.
While I would love to see an actually good Mario Kart track based off of an amusement park, if this is the closest we get for a while then I'm ok with that.
6
Toad's Factory
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It's actually a criminal offense that this track hasn't been brought back in any future Mario Kart game. Yeah let's bring back eight hundred of the shitty Super Mario Kart courses but this one can die it's ok.
NO it's NOT OK. Toad may be a filthy capitalist who dodges OSHA on the daily but his assembly line makes an amazing race course. Every room comes with a new mechanical hazard for you to avoid, from flattening metal plates to ditches filled with oil and more conveyor belts than you could shake a stick at, you'll be in danger of becoming another statistic in the workplace accident data if you're not careful. I'm surprised Toad himself doesn't bust onto the track in a forklift but I assume he may not be certified.
I love that this track explains where item boxes come from too, meaning that this isn't just a factory for the sake of it but rather something tied to the Mario Kart universe. The music track is so goddamn good and also makes an excellent ringtone if you want to add some manual labor to your phone calls.
As much as I want to start up a union for the poor employees here, I would fear that worker's rights may jeopardize the track's existence and as such I will allow it just this once.
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It's actually a criminal offense that this track hasn't been brought back in any future Mario Kart game. Yeah let's bring back eight hundred of the shitty Super Mario Kart courses but this one can die it's ok.
NO it's NOT OK. Toad may be a filthy capitalist who dodges OSHA on the daily but his assembly line makes an amazing race course. Every room comes with a new mechanical hazard for you to avoid, from flattening metal plates to ditches filled with oil and more conveyor belts than you could shake a stick at, you'll be in danger of becoming another statistic in the workplace accident data if you're not careful. I'm surprised Toad himself doesn't bust onto the track in a forklift but I assume he may not be certified.
I love that this track explains where item boxes come from too, meaning that this isn't just a factory for the sake of it but rather something tied to the Mario Kart universe. The music track is so goddamn good and also makes an excellent ringtone if you want to add some manual labor to your phone calls.
As much as I want to start up a union for the poor employees here, I would fear that worker's rights may jeopardize the track's existence and as such I will allow it just this once.
7
Kalamari Desert
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TRAIN TRAIN did you hear there's a TRAIN on this course like HOLY SHIT.
Taking a really boring track design and adding a train to it is probably the best decision anyone could have ever made ever. It's amazing that if you don't pass the crossing in time for the train's arrival, you're waiting about ten seconds before you even have a chance to continue racing, a hard guarantee that you are finishing at the bottom of the rankings and you couldn't do anything about it. Absolutely hilarious.
I love that you can actually drive inside of the tunnel and use that as an optional pathway, and I do appreciate how the stage looks, accompanied by quite the banger of a music track playing. I want more Mario Kart courses that tell their racers to fuck off for no good reason it's so funny.
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TRAIN TRAIN did you hear there's a TRAIN on this course like HOLY SHIT.
Taking a really boring track design and adding a train to it is probably the best decision anyone could have ever made ever. It's amazing that if you don't pass the crossing in time for the train's arrival, you're waiting about ten seconds before you even have a chance to continue racing, a hard guarantee that you are finishing at the bottom of the rankings and you couldn't do anything about it. Absolutely hilarious.
I love that you can actually drive inside of the tunnel and use that as an optional pathway, and I do appreciate how the stage looks, accompanied by quite the banger of a music track playing. I want more Mario Kart courses that tell their racers to fuck off for no good reason it's so funny.
8
Tick Tock Clock
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An amazing idea to take a stage from Mario 64 and turn it into a race track. I think it's hilarious that they picked the level that was easily the most difficult to navigate in the original game but y'know what they pulled it off.
Just the concept of driving through the interior of a clock is amazing as is, but there are so many memorable set pieces that it'll make your head spin. There are pendulums swinging back and forth, a long span of gears that you can fly over if you don't suck, and clock hands that force you to tell time lest be annihilated by the power of mechanical technology. The best is saved for last with two gears that channel the energy of Coconut Mall's escalators, forcing you to figure out how to get a boost or how to get fucked into dead last.
Also thank god that they made an original music track for this stage because if I had to listen to the secret slide theme for all three laps I might have lost my marbles. It's a certified banger too so there are no complaints here. Absolutely impeccable decisions all the way around.
Fun fact, when me and my friend would play this course in Mario Kart DS, we would assume that the track was themed after ROB the Robot considering almost every other character had a track dedicated to them. Yeah I'm stupid I get it.
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An amazing idea to take a stage from Mario 64 and turn it into a race track. I think it's hilarious that they picked the level that was easily the most difficult to navigate in the original game but y'know what they pulled it off.
Just the concept of driving through the interior of a clock is amazing as is, but there are so many memorable set pieces that it'll make your head spin. There are pendulums swinging back and forth, a long span of gears that you can fly over if you don't suck, and clock hands that force you to tell time lest be annihilated by the power of mechanical technology. The best is saved for last with two gears that channel the energy of Coconut Mall's escalators, forcing you to figure out how to get a boost or how to get fucked into dead last.
Also thank god that they made an original music track for this stage because if I had to listen to the secret slide theme for all three laps I might have lost my marbles. It's a certified banger too so there are no complaints here. Absolutely impeccable decisions all the way around.
Fun fact, when me and my friend would play this course in Mario Kart DS, we would assume that the track was themed after ROB the Robot considering almost every other character had a track dedicated to them. Yeah I'm stupid I get it.
9
Yoshi's Island
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I've always wanted more Mario Kart tracks to take influence from the franchise as a whole, because there's a lot of original ideas lying in wait that are way better than, I don't know, another Mario Circuit or something. Where's our Comet Observatory track, or maybe New Donk City. Fuck it what about the Bean Bean Kingdom or Rougeport, Pinna Park, Whomp's Fortress, Bowser's innards, I'll even take a track that solely exists within that one WarioWare elevator.
But when Mario Kart decides to go through with one of these ideas, boy do they knock it out of the park.
What an amazing love letter to Yoshi's Island like I actually couldn't imagine it looking any better than this. The course aesthetic itself is mesmerizing on its own, but the references here are off the charts. You've got Shy Guys on stilts, red blocks that make alternate pathways, the ring of flowers at the end of the stage, Blarggs chilling in the background. It's a magical experience that makes you wonder why the developers don't do shit like this more often.
Most importantly, at the end of the course once you've crossed the final lap, your ears are graced with the level complete theme right out of the original game. I remember when I played this for the first time I almost cried when that track came on. You can tell just how much the designers adored Yoshi's Island and so their passion has been squeezed into every morsel of this beautiful little race course.
Anyway my personal hope for a more Mario themed Mario Kart track would be a mix between the haunted hotel in Serena Beach and Hotel Mario. Make it happen Nintendo.
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I've always wanted more Mario Kart tracks to take influence from the franchise as a whole, because there's a lot of original ideas lying in wait that are way better than, I don't know, another Mario Circuit or something. Where's our Comet Observatory track, or maybe New Donk City. Fuck it what about the Bean Bean Kingdom or Rougeport, Pinna Park, Whomp's Fortress, Bowser's innards, I'll even take a track that solely exists within that one WarioWare elevator.
But when Mario Kart decides to go through with one of these ideas, boy do they knock it out of the park.
What an amazing love letter to Yoshi's Island like I actually couldn't imagine it looking any better than this. The course aesthetic itself is mesmerizing on its own, but the references here are off the charts. You've got Shy Guys on stilts, red blocks that make alternate pathways, the ring of flowers at the end of the stage, Blarggs chilling in the background. It's a magical experience that makes you wonder why the developers don't do shit like this more often.
Most importantly, at the end of the course once you've crossed the final lap, your ears are graced with the level complete theme right out of the original game. I remember when I played this for the first time I almost cried when that track came on. You can tell just how much the designers adored Yoshi's Island and so their passion has been squeezed into every morsel of this beautiful little race course.
Anyway my personal hope for a more Mario themed Mario Kart track would be a mix between the haunted hotel in Serena Beach and Hotel Mario. Make it happen Nintendo.
10
Bowser's Castle (Mario Kart 64)
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The requirements for a good Bowser's Castle stage are not too specific and pretty simple to fulfill. You're gonna need a couple gallons of lava, some fire just for fun, a giant Bowser statue always helps and how could we forget the Thwomps. That's really all you need but I find that this version actually has something that no other King Koopa attraction contains, and that is an ominous atmosphere.
Most future Bowser Castle stages tend to have a more intense mood accentuated by abrasive music tracks and furious flashing lights. You won't find either of those things here, with a background song not too dissimilar to Mongolian throat singing and architecture that feels much more open and eerie, making you feel as if you are trespassing on grounds not yet tread upon by mere mortals.
It also helps that the track is fun to race on too. The sharp turns, narrow hallways and staircases of doom make this course feel so remarkable even when compared to castles in the distant future, and the many Thwomps that laugh maniacally when you approach them only make you feel more uneasy. It may not be jam packed with eight million tripwires and lasers and a Bowser statue that punches you in the face but goddamnit sometimes less is more.
Also we need to talk about our main man Marty the Thwomp, locked away for his crimes. I love all the scary stories and rumors people came up with but it's truly a shame they white-washed him for the Wii game.
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The requirements for a good Bowser's Castle stage are not too specific and pretty simple to fulfill. You're gonna need a couple gallons of lava, some fire just for fun, a giant Bowser statue always helps and how could we forget the Thwomps. That's really all you need but I find that this version actually has something that no other King Koopa attraction contains, and that is an ominous atmosphere.
Most future Bowser Castle stages tend to have a more intense mood accentuated by abrasive music tracks and furious flashing lights. You won't find either of those things here, with a background song not too dissimilar to Mongolian throat singing and architecture that feels much more open and eerie, making you feel as if you are trespassing on grounds not yet tread upon by mere mortals.
It also helps that the track is fun to race on too. The sharp turns, narrow hallways and staircases of doom make this course feel so remarkable even when compared to castles in the distant future, and the many Thwomps that laugh maniacally when you approach them only make you feel more uneasy. It may not be jam packed with eight million tripwires and lasers and a Bowser statue that punches you in the face but goddamnit sometimes less is more.
Also we need to talk about our main man Marty the Thwomp, locked away for his crimes. I love all the scary stories and rumors people came up with but it's truly a shame they white-washed him for the Wii game.
11
Wario Colosseum
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Wario really outdid himself this time.
After the monumental failure that was N64 Wario Stadium (which I actually don't hate I am a fan of the "fuck you" ramp) he came back around and designed one of the best traditional race courses the franchise has ever seen. There are so many tight turns, death-defying jumps, and cramped corridors that you'll feel like those motorcycles driving around the metal-grated sphere. It may not have a bunch of fantastical elements attributed to it, but there is a special kind of charm in barreling through a metallic circus act solely for Wario's amusement.
This track is also really long, and thankfully condenses itself into two laps instead of three so it doesn't overstay it's welcome. The extensive track length ends up serving as a massive benefit considering how many new tricks the course will pull out of its sleeves.
Really all this needed was a fiery ring of death far too small for any kart to fit through and then it would've been perfect.
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Wario really outdid himself this time.
After the monumental failure that was N64 Wario Stadium (which I actually don't hate I am a fan of the "fuck you" ramp) he came back around and designed one of the best traditional race courses the franchise has ever seen. There are so many tight turns, death-defying jumps, and cramped corridors that you'll feel like those motorcycles driving around the metal-grated sphere. It may not have a bunch of fantastical elements attributed to it, but there is a special kind of charm in barreling through a metallic circus act solely for Wario's amusement.
This track is also really long, and thankfully condenses itself into two laps instead of three so it doesn't overstay it's welcome. The extensive track length ends up serving as a massive benefit considering how many new tricks the course will pull out of its sleeves.
Really all this needed was a fiery ring of death far too small for any kart to fit through and then it would've been perfect.
12
Maple Treeway
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One of the most humble tracks in the franchise. No death traps, no hazardous set pieces, no vicious creatures (that hunt you intentionally at least), you're just a bunch of little guys climbing a really big tree and I don't think anyone would want it any differently.
The setting of this incredibly large plant life leaves open a ton of opportunity for unconventional track design. No sharp corners to be seen here, instead you'll be cruising flawlessly across perfectly contoured branches and it all feels so natural. This is only helped by a whole bunch of interesting add-ons that only continue the feedback loop such as half pipe segments and a giant lattice structure that waves in the wind allowing you to pull off some sick ollies.
The theming and music are absolutely top notch, as you don't get to see many orange Mario Kart tracks that aren't just Hell on Earth, and the soundtrack only serves to relax and allow you to go with the motion of the ocean on this one, and by that I mean an ocean of autumn leaves and good vibes.
Fuck that wiggler though someone please evict them they have not paid rent in months.
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One of the most humble tracks in the franchise. No death traps, no hazardous set pieces, no vicious creatures (that hunt you intentionally at least), you're just a bunch of little guys climbing a really big tree and I don't think anyone would want it any differently.
The setting of this incredibly large plant life leaves open a ton of opportunity for unconventional track design. No sharp corners to be seen here, instead you'll be cruising flawlessly across perfectly contoured branches and it all feels so natural. This is only helped by a whole bunch of interesting add-ons that only continue the feedback loop such as half pipe segments and a giant lattice structure that waves in the wind allowing you to pull off some sick ollies.
The theming and music are absolutely top notch, as you don't get to see many orange Mario Kart tracks that aren't just Hell on Earth, and the soundtrack only serves to relax and allow you to go with the motion of the ocean on this one, and by that I mean an ocean of autumn leaves and good vibes.
Fuck that wiggler though someone please evict them they have not paid rent in months.
13
Royal Raceway
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If any of you think I'm including this track for any reason other than being able to drive around the outside of Peach's Castle then you are on drugs my guy.
Ok I'll give credit where credit is due though, there are two memorable set pieces on this stage. Right before the amazing landmark of Princess Toadstool's abode, you get a massive jump that was only replicated in the N64 game twice. It's such a satisfying moment and I have to give props that a basic circuit track could include a stunt this cool.
But yeah let's get real, being able to cruise through a Mario 64 asset flip is such a joy. I never even heard of a Super Mario 64 before playing this game, so when I saw that I was able to explore Peach's front lawn, I was just in amazement of how much detail went into this seemingly innocuous architecture. Absolutely incredible design decision that reminds me of how intricate the tracks in games like Beetle Adventure Racing are.
The Mario Kart 8 version is fine too I guess.
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If any of you think I'm including this track for any reason other than being able to drive around the outside of Peach's Castle then you are on drugs my guy.
Ok I'll give credit where credit is due though, there are two memorable set pieces on this stage. Right before the amazing landmark of Princess Toadstool's abode, you get a massive jump that was only replicated in the N64 game twice. It's such a satisfying moment and I have to give props that a basic circuit track could include a stunt this cool.
But yeah let's get real, being able to cruise through a Mario 64 asset flip is such a joy. I never even heard of a Super Mario 64 before playing this game, so when I saw that I was able to explore Peach's front lawn, I was just in amazement of how much detail went into this seemingly innocuous architecture. Absolutely incredible design decision that reminds me of how intricate the tracks in games like Beetle Adventure Racing are.
The Mario Kart 8 version is fine too I guess.
14
Koopa Cape
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There's a lot of courses that seem to be attributed to certain characters in this franchise. Yoshi constructed a circuit in his own image, Peach owns a beach because she loves wordplay, and Daisy re-engineered a cruise ship to allow a horde of kart racers and luckily no passengers. How could any of us have expected that the humble Koopa Troopa could make a track that supersedes all of those.
The idea of trying to race go-karts on a water slide would probably be the worst idea in real life, but give the tube a ton more width and a catchy music track and you'll have yourself a watery wonder world. Riding down the lengths of the river feels exhilarating, even if you're in a car instead of a boat, and the entire course just has this really speedy atmosphere to it. You'll be zoomin' and blastin' through the interesting wilderness theme, up until you descend into the ocean and die a horrible death.
Which is what I would've said if you didn't have a massive tube to catch your fall. Everyone loves those attractions in aquariums where you get to walk through the glass cylinder and observe the fishies like you can breathe underwater, and that's exactly how it feels in Mario Kart too. Thankfully there are no electric shrink-ray rotors in real life aquariums but they fit very nicely here, giving you an extra factor to worry about while admiring marine life. Top that off with a water stream that speeds you up and you've got one of the best individual segments any Mario Kart course has ever seen.
Also I have to say the remakes of this track may get the award for most tone deaf recreations ever devised.
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There's a lot of courses that seem to be attributed to certain characters in this franchise. Yoshi constructed a circuit in his own image, Peach owns a beach because she loves wordplay, and Daisy re-engineered a cruise ship to allow a horde of kart racers and luckily no passengers. How could any of us have expected that the humble Koopa Troopa could make a track that supersedes all of those.
The idea of trying to race go-karts on a water slide would probably be the worst idea in real life, but give the tube a ton more width and a catchy music track and you'll have yourself a watery wonder world. Riding down the lengths of the river feels exhilarating, even if you're in a car instead of a boat, and the entire course just has this really speedy atmosphere to it. You'll be zoomin' and blastin' through the interesting wilderness theme, up until you descend into the ocean and die a horrible death.
Which is what I would've said if you didn't have a massive tube to catch your fall. Everyone loves those attractions in aquariums where you get to walk through the glass cylinder and observe the fishies like you can breathe underwater, and that's exactly how it feels in Mario Kart too. Thankfully there are no electric shrink-ray rotors in real life aquariums but they fit very nicely here, giving you an extra factor to worry about while admiring marine life. Top that off with a water stream that speeds you up and you've got one of the best individual segments any Mario Kart course has ever seen.
Also I have to say the remakes of this track may get the award for most tone deaf recreations ever devised.
15
Grumble Volcano
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I am aware that a lot of people aren't too fond of this track. I just think people need to get good.
Easily one of the most challenging courses to race on, there are very few journeys into Grumble Volcano where you don't descend in a fiery pit at least once. You'll have to make sure your jumps are perfectly timed, your drifts have been carefully measured with a protractor, and your luck is at a four leaf clover level to avoid a blue shell dive-bombing you into the lava.
The chaos is what makes this track so memorable though. I love how the entire composition of the course is falling apart before your eyes, with each lap having more and more real estate literally falling off of the land. Fireballs descend from the sky and Fire Snakes tread recklessly taking up way more space than necessary. You are driving through an apocalyptic hellscape, why should it be easy?
It's really funny that this one random volcano track ended up more maniacal than any Bowser Castle that has ever been made.
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I am aware that a lot of people aren't too fond of this track. I just think people need to get good.
Easily one of the most challenging courses to race on, there are very few journeys into Grumble Volcano where you don't descend in a fiery pit at least once. You'll have to make sure your jumps are perfectly timed, your drifts have been carefully measured with a protractor, and your luck is at a four leaf clover level to avoid a blue shell dive-bombing you into the lava.
The chaos is what makes this track so memorable though. I love how the entire composition of the course is falling apart before your eyes, with each lap having more and more real estate literally falling off of the land. Fireballs descend from the sky and Fire Snakes tread recklessly taking up way more space than necessary. You are driving through an apocalyptic hellscape, why should it be easy?
It's really funny that this one random volcano track ended up more maniacal than any Bowser Castle that has ever been made.
16
Rainbow Road (Mario Kart 64)
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Yep, I'm not talking about the Mario Kart 8 remake of the course. I am specifically referring to the grand finale of Mario Kart 64.
Hear me out...
This course is complete dogshit from a gameplay perspective. It takes eight million years to finish one lap on a course with nothing in it. There are some Chain Chomps that wander the area aimlessly but other than that this is about as exciting as driving on the Jersey Turnpike at 3 in the morning on a bicycle.
But if you think I'm including this track here because of the course design itself then you are out of your mind. This is here purely for the vibes and nothing else. I absolutely adore that this is a space themed course but details are kept to such a minimum that it feels mystical, excentuated by the neon portraits of characters that light up the night and don't overstay their welcome. Top that off with an amazing music track that beats the fuck out of anything else Mario Kart 64 was capable of and you've got one amazing credits sequence that's for sure.
It sucks that you actually have to race here but it never ceases to send chills down my spine whenever I pick it.
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Yep, I'm not talking about the Mario Kart 8 remake of the course. I am specifically referring to the grand finale of Mario Kart 64.
Hear me out...
This course is complete dogshit from a gameplay perspective. It takes eight million years to finish one lap on a course with nothing in it. There are some Chain Chomps that wander the area aimlessly but other than that this is about as exciting as driving on the Jersey Turnpike at 3 in the morning on a bicycle.
But if you think I'm including this track here because of the course design itself then you are out of your mind. This is here purely for the vibes and nothing else. I absolutely adore that this is a space themed course but details are kept to such a minimum that it feels mystical, excentuated by the neon portraits of characters that light up the night and don't overstay their welcome. Top that off with an amazing music track that beats the fuck out of anything else Mario Kart 64 was capable of and you've got one amazing credits sequence that's for sure.
It sucks that you actually have to race here but it never ceases to send chills down my spine whenever I pick it.
17
Mushroom Gorge
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A giant mushroom. MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY!
Mario Kart Wii knew they had a great gimmick on their hands because they made a whole track just to justify how much fun it is to bounce off of a series of massive fungal platforms. We all know the invigorating feeling of bouncing off of a trampoline, and this is able to replicate that experience without the risk of ripped tendons which I have to say is an impressive feet.
You've got this wonderful mountain setting, a heavily underrated music track that more people should give attention because it slaps hard, and a lot of varying scenery when you enter this beautiful crystal cave. What's not to love here?
Well I must admit the main reason why the funny mushroom level is not higher most hinges on the fact that every now and then, this whole fungus bouncing gimmick may lead you directly into a bottomless pit with no warning or fault on your end. It can be frustrating, but maybe that's just the icing on the cake, how even on a track that can sometimes be genuine unfair it can still rank on this list because mushrooms are so damn amazing.
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A giant mushroom. MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY!
Mario Kart Wii knew they had a great gimmick on their hands because they made a whole track just to justify how much fun it is to bounce off of a series of massive fungal platforms. We all know the invigorating feeling of bouncing off of a trampoline, and this is able to replicate that experience without the risk of ripped tendons which I have to say is an impressive feet.
You've got this wonderful mountain setting, a heavily underrated music track that more people should give attention because it slaps hard, and a lot of varying scenery when you enter this beautiful crystal cave. What's not to love here?
Well I must admit the main reason why the funny mushroom level is not higher most hinges on the fact that every now and then, this whole fungus bouncing gimmick may lead you directly into a bottomless pit with no warning or fault on your end. It can be frustrating, but maybe that's just the icing on the cake, how even on a track that can sometimes be genuine unfair it can still rank on this list because mushrooms are so damn amazing.
18
Mushroom Bridge
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I feel like most people who play Mario Kart don't even give this track a second glance. Sometimes you can tell if somethings is very well made if you truly don't have much to say about it. Flaws are very easy to notice.
Easily the best course that has you dodging and weaving through streams of heavy traffic, solely due to the amount of free space given to you and the addition of cars with varying effects. The long wiggler karts will make you clench your asscheeks not dissimilar to the feeling of driving next to an eighteen-wheeler, and the funny mushroom cars that give you a boost when collided with are a nice touch even if they promote really bad habits.
I think what makes this track super memorable to me are the insane shortcuts included that feel so naturally placed, like if they're removed then the track kind of loses a bit of its meaning. The sandy road may be easy to find but gives you that slight edge necessary for some clutch maneuvers, and riding across the pylons of the titular bridge may be incredibly tricky but holy moly do you feel like a god for pulling it off.
Couple all of that with an absolutely bopping music track and you've got a course that, while not as notable as the flashy, bombastic tracks we would see later, serves as something you could slap on at any time with few objections.
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I feel like most people who play Mario Kart don't even give this track a second glance. Sometimes you can tell if somethings is very well made if you truly don't have much to say about it. Flaws are very easy to notice.
Easily the best course that has you dodging and weaving through streams of heavy traffic, solely due to the amount of free space given to you and the addition of cars with varying effects. The long wiggler karts will make you clench your asscheeks not dissimilar to the feeling of driving next to an eighteen-wheeler, and the funny mushroom cars that give you a boost when collided with are a nice touch even if they promote really bad habits.
I think what makes this track super memorable to me are the insane shortcuts included that feel so naturally placed, like if they're removed then the track kind of loses a bit of its meaning. The sandy road may be easy to find but gives you that slight edge necessary for some clutch maneuvers, and riding across the pylons of the titular bridge may be incredibly tricky but holy moly do you feel like a god for pulling it off.
Couple all of that with an absolutely bopping music track and you've got a course that, while not as notable as the flashy, bombastic tracks we would see later, serves as something you could slap on at any time with few objections.
19
Wario Shipyard
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A great example of a track that is completely unremarkable minus one set piece that basically makes the entire thing worth it.
Not to say that I hate everything on offer here. While this is one of the weaker ventures Wario had made in the Karting business, it still fits his theme with plundered treasure and his likeness shamelessly plastered onto every moving object. It certainly earns its existence, and I do find the underwater segments pretty fun to blast through with the limited gravity.
But who gives a fuck about any of that. There's this one section where you get to pull a Tokyo drift on a sunken vessel so sharp that you'll feel like a complete badass. I remember when I saw this section in the track preview I got so excited and I must say it did not disappoint, somehow trumping almost every other design choice in the entirety of other Mario Kart 7 tracks.
If the rest of the course was as invigorating as that one crucial turn then we may have had a top five track on our hands.
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A great example of a track that is completely unremarkable minus one set piece that basically makes the entire thing worth it.
Not to say that I hate everything on offer here. While this is one of the weaker ventures Wario had made in the Karting business, it still fits his theme with plundered treasure and his likeness shamelessly plastered onto every moving object. It certainly earns its existence, and I do find the underwater segments pretty fun to blast through with the limited gravity.
But who gives a fuck about any of that. There's this one section where you get to pull a Tokyo drift on a sunken vessel so sharp that you'll feel like a complete badass. I remember when I saw this section in the track preview I got so excited and I must say it did not disappoint, somehow trumping almost every other design choice in the entirety of other Mario Kart 7 tracks.
If the rest of the course was as invigorating as that one crucial turn then we may have had a top five track on our hands.
20