The first time I played through this game, I proclaimed I had beaten it, and rated it 1 star out of 5. That was around half a month before the time of writing this review. However, on that run, I used save states and rewind multiple times. Many people would count that as "cheating", or at the very least, an illigetimate run. I have thought about it, and I do agree with that statement. I played through Castlevania: The Adventure a second time, completely devoid of elements such as save states, fast forward, rewind, etc. As I played, I thought about what this game meant to me. It changed me. So, if you will listen, I would like to share my thoughts on this game.

Castlevania: The Adventure is a location or state in the afterlife in which souls are subjected to punitive suffering, most often through torture, as eternal punishment after dea--wait, that's the definition for hell. Hold on.

ahem.
The 80s were a different time. Video games were booming, and in some cases, people would buy anything. In one special case, developers put a unique new way of torture on store shelves disguised as a video game, and people bought it. This is how, in my opinion, Castlevania: The Adventure was made.

One of the first noticeable parts of the game is that the protagonist, Christopher Belmont, moves incredibly slow. You would think this is the game where he's in his forties, but no, that's the sequel, taking place 15 years later! I'm guessing this was to help the game run better, but it barely helps, because even after that the game runs like garbage. Framerate is inconsistent, and the pair of that with Christopher's walking speed make for an unbearably slow time.

Sadly, this also carries over to the jumping. If you've played the original Castlevania, you would know that the physics in that game are rigid, but feel polished and mostly responsive when you get the hang of it. In The Adventure, this is thrown out the window. Christopher's jumps are pathetic. Many times when you try to make a jump, you have to be on the last few pixels you can stand on before jumping or you'll miss the jump. This strategy is completely flipped on its head with falling platforms, where you usually would want to jump around the middle of the platform.

Another very interesting design choice in this game was the fact that you lose a whip upgrade every time you're hit. I don't understand the point of this feature. It adds artificial difficulty and length to the game while they could have done this by just adding more content. Speaking of length, the game is short, but it doesn't feel like it. It's four stages, all of them fairly long, but it probably only feels that way because of the speed.

The difficulty curve is weird as well, I'd say. The first level is very easy, but I won't criticize because it lets the player get used to the awful physics. The second level has some hard bits, but it's around the same difficulty as the first level. The third level is difficult, featuring a uncomfortably long slog of an autoscroller where mistakes are punished with a loss of precious minutes of your life. The fourth level is an absolute gauntlet. The platforming feels the most unfair here; this stage took me hours to beat. And the boss difficulty curve is worse. The first boss is only remotely difficult if you don't have the chain whip, and it's still not that bad. The second boss isn't that difficult either. The third boss is easier than the second boss. And Dracula, the final boss is very difficult.

While I am absolutely dogging on this game, it has good parts. Not everything is bad. Here, I'll list everything good about this game.
-the music
-it has Christopher Belmont

In conclusion, this game is awful. I would be completely satisfied with my life if I never have to go near it or hear of its existence ever again. So, yeah, this game is a dumpster fire, it sucks, and it can go die by not jumping at the very edge of a platform and missing the jump completely.