Gepeto
2 reviews liked by Gepeto
Zelda fans have been awfully quiet once this game dropped, did you notice?
So in the first chapter, there's a spider tank for a midboss. No matter what I do, I can't seem to effectively beat him, or even make a dent. There's too much shit to pay attention to: cannons, rockets, machine guns, flamethrowers, and EMPs. I go online to see if other people had similar problems, and I find someone who has a strategy that feels more like exploiting the game's mechanics, rather than using what you know to come out on top in a satisfying battle. Then, in the next chapter, I get to the first fight with the mages, and let me tell you, I have NO idea how to handle these fuckers. Their Sonic Colors Cube(TM) magic deflects nearly all of my attacks, and their grabs suck both my health and my Ki. Just like last time, I go online and see if other people are experiencing the same frustrations I am. Yup, it's not just me. Everyone hates this shit.
It's just balls-to-the-walls action, constant sensory overload. There's no room to breathe here, just going from one combat arena to the next, fight a wave of 40 enemies only to move on to another wave of 40 enemies in the room next door. Nothing that needs explaining is properly explained, like the "steel-on-bone" system. The tutorials are incessantly telling you to push the "look, go here you dumb fuck" button, but it's not a good idea to turn those tutorials off because it'll hide the QTE prompts as well. Good luck guessing what buttons you're supposed to push in your constant life-or-death scenarios!
Remember the "lasting damage" system from Ninja Gaiden 2? It's still in this game, but somehow worse! The lasting damage portion no longer stays visible. As you progress through the chapter, you'll notice your health bar getting shorter, and shorter, and shorter still. You'll then come to realize another funny quirk about this game: There are no healing items whatsoever. The only way to recharge your health is to meditate, which is basically suicide to do mid-battle, and it spends your Ki. It feels kinda insulting that you unlock the ability to buy health extensions for collecting the golden scarabs in this game. Your health is never going to be full long enough for those to feel meaningful. Speaking of Ki, it's attached to a one-time use meter! If it's not full, you can't use ninpos. No way to extend it either! Does this sound like a well-designed experience to you? (Don't answer that.)
I have no fucking idea what's going on with the story. Why is Ryu working with the government? Why do I have an MGS-esque team of people tuned into my earpiece at all times? The game keeps droning on about Ryu being a killing machine, like it's some profound moral conflict, but are you just expected to not fight back against the thousands of enemies who want you dead? And then the story just starts going off the deep end with shit like mutants and dinosaurs, and it desperately wants you to take it seriously despite that.
It's hard to describe what compelled me to see this game through in the first place. Sometimes I want to know precisely what causes a series' downfall, and experience it firsthand. I don't go into games like this just to hate on them; Usually I try to find the bright side! This shit was just too much for me though. Here's my word of advice to you, if you've made it this far; Just go play Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. Fantastic action game where you play as a cyborg ninja struggling with inner conflict about being a killing machine. The big difference is that MGR is actually fun, and knows not to take itself too seriously.
It's just balls-to-the-walls action, constant sensory overload. There's no room to breathe here, just going from one combat arena to the next, fight a wave of 40 enemies only to move on to another wave of 40 enemies in the room next door. Nothing that needs explaining is properly explained, like the "steel-on-bone" system. The tutorials are incessantly telling you to push the "look, go here you dumb fuck" button, but it's not a good idea to turn those tutorials off because it'll hide the QTE prompts as well. Good luck guessing what buttons you're supposed to push in your constant life-or-death scenarios!
Remember the "lasting damage" system from Ninja Gaiden 2? It's still in this game, but somehow worse! The lasting damage portion no longer stays visible. As you progress through the chapter, you'll notice your health bar getting shorter, and shorter, and shorter still. You'll then come to realize another funny quirk about this game: There are no healing items whatsoever. The only way to recharge your health is to meditate, which is basically suicide to do mid-battle, and it spends your Ki. It feels kinda insulting that you unlock the ability to buy health extensions for collecting the golden scarabs in this game. Your health is never going to be full long enough for those to feel meaningful. Speaking of Ki, it's attached to a one-time use meter! If it's not full, you can't use ninpos. No way to extend it either! Does this sound like a well-designed experience to you? (Don't answer that.)
I have no fucking idea what's going on with the story. Why is Ryu working with the government? Why do I have an MGS-esque team of people tuned into my earpiece at all times? The game keeps droning on about Ryu being a killing machine, like it's some profound moral conflict, but are you just expected to not fight back against the thousands of enemies who want you dead? And then the story just starts going off the deep end with shit like mutants and dinosaurs, and it desperately wants you to take it seriously despite that.
It's hard to describe what compelled me to see this game through in the first place. Sometimes I want to know precisely what causes a series' downfall, and experience it firsthand. I don't go into games like this just to hate on them; Usually I try to find the bright side! This shit was just too much for me though. Here's my word of advice to you, if you've made it this far; Just go play Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. Fantastic action game where you play as a cyborg ninja struggling with inner conflict about being a killing machine. The big difference is that MGR is actually fun, and knows not to take itself too seriously.