Hazel
6 Reviews liked by Hazel
Blue Archive
2021
fifa if it's main demographic was pedophiles instead of ishowspeed
This game sucks. Castlevania I and III are great classic Nintendo games, but for Castlevania II: Simon's Quest, the game designers obviously were not thinking straight. At first, it seems like a pretty decent game. A little different from the first in the series but, that's okay. Zelda II was different from the first, Mario 2 was different, but they were all good.
The first thing that's strikingly different is the fact that ya have to go through towns, talk to people, and buy stuff. I never really minded that, it makes it a little more like an adventure story, and it's kinda like Zelda, so that's okay. But the first problem comes in when it changes from day to night.
Why does this need to happen so often? Like, every five minutes? Why does it take so long? Nobody feels like sitting through this every time. How would you like it if you were playin' a game and then every five minutes I came over and paused it, then counted ten tedious seconds and then let you continue play the game? Now, I mean, why did they think that that would be a good idea and interrupt the gameplay? Did they think it would be more realistic? I mean, in real life, I don't have to stop in my tracks when the sun sets and a fuckin' box doesn't pop up in the air. I mean, this is one of the most annoying features in any game ever. What's the point? Yeah, the, I mean, the monsters are stronger at night and the stores are closed, but why's that necessary and why does the game have to stop? It's fuckin' retarded.
And why do ya have to die when you fall in the water? That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen. This guy (Simon Belmont) can go all over fightin' hordes of evil monsters, but he can't even fuckin' swim? Sometimes I don't feel like goin' down the stairs just to get down to ground level. I mean, there's no reason I should have to do that when I can just take a shortcut and jump down. But oops! I shouldn't do that, there might be water down there.
Another thing that's really annoying about this game is the fact that ya have to buy weapons and items. I mean, still, that's not uncommon, you know like I said: that's the same thing ya have to do in many great games like Zelda, but, lemme explain.
Here ya have to collect hearts, which count as money; I mean, that's kinda odd, because usually hearts count as life or energy, y'know, so that's kinda strange. But, y'know that's not the point. The point is that the items you need to buy are too fuckin' expensive, and the hearts don't add up enough. It takes too long to get enough of them to buy something, and it gets boring wandering around killing the same monsters over and over again just so you can buy a Flame Whip or somethin'.
Speakin' of Flame Whip, that's pretty weird itself, isn't it? I mean, they were really being creative with that one, the flame whip.
Anyway, about the hearts. It takes too long to buy stuff. And, to add onto the problem, when you die, you lose all your hearts and ya have to start all over again. I mean, doing this doesn't add to any of the game's difficulty or challenge, it just makes us have to do more of the same monotonous stuff over again, and it's not fun, it's boring.
Oh look, I finally got enough hearts to go and buy a plant that I need to cross the swamp. Now let me get to the store. Oh shit, it's fuckin' night time. Now the stores are all closed and I have to wait for it to turn day again. Oh well, I might as well kill some zombies in the meantime and stock up on some more hearts. Oh shit, now I gotta start all over again.
One of the worst things in the game are the Pitfalls, which are areas where there's, like, stones or blocks that look like you could walk on them, but instead ya just fall through. It's impossible to tell where these spots are the first time walkin' through, so you just have to keep throwin' Holy Water all over to see where they are. It's retarded. Why should I have to do that? Again, it doesn't add up to any of the fun, y'know, challenge of the game. It's just unfair and it's annoying.
In the dungeons, there's no bosses at the end, which is a big disappointment. Every Nintendo gamester knows that at the end of a level or a dungeon labyrinth, or whatever, there's always supposed to be a big guy who ya fight. But here, they just got lazy and only put a few bosses in the game and left some of the dungeons just empty like this one. So, most of the dungeons you go through (the mansions, to be exact), there's nothing at the end except for a crystal orb that ya can't touch.
In the rest of the Castlevania games, the tradition goes like this. You fight a boss, ya defeat him, then an orb comes down, and ya touch it. There you go, on to the next level. But in Castlevania II, how would you ever figure out that you're supposed to throw an Oak Stake at that orb? I mean, when you first get the Oak Stake you assume it's a weapon. And you throw it... only to find that it does absolutely nothing... and that you waste it by throwing it, so ya have to get it all over again.
There are parts in the game that are definitely not self-explanatory and are too hard to figure out. Take this dead end for example. Would you guess that you're supposed to pass through this wall? How? You have to kneel down by it for like ten seconds. Now still, that's not enough to make it so cryptic and hidden that we can't figure it out, "oh please, give us more for our buck and make it harder so we can wander around the whole game and exhaust every possibility before we find out". Okay. Guess what? You need to have a Red Crystal selected, and be kneeling down, and wait a little while before this magic tornado comes and takes ya to the next part of the game.
Most of the townspeople have things to say which aren't important at all, so why do ya have to read 'em? Here in the dungeons, there's books that you may find which actually give ya clues about things in the game that you may need to know about. But when I find these books half the time, it's by accident, so I may hit the button and cancel it out which means that I don't even get to read it and I don't have a second chance.
Why can't I do that when it changes from day to night? That would actually be helpful. So what the game designers figured is this: it isn't absolutely necessary for me to read about how to find Dracula's castle or what I'm supposed to do with an Oak Stake, but what I do need to read, again and again constantly, is, "The morning sun has vanquished the horrible night". How 'bout "vanquished this horrible GAME"?!
The only sure way to get through this awful game is to enter a code, but even that is way more tedious than it should be. While most of the Castlevania games have symbols ya enter for a code, this one just has a whole bunch of numbers. I mean like, one of those little parts would be enough for a password, but why... four? Like, why so many?
In general, I hate games that have passwords like this, because sometimes they have uppercase and lowercase letters. Like the l's, y'know, look like I's, the 0's look like O's, the 8's look like 5's so, why does there have to be so many digits? Y'know, like why can't it just be numbers or somethin'? Like y'know, just numbers and not letters? I mean, it takes me like five minutes to enter this code when it should only take like five seconds. It's friggin' stupid.
Okay. So, say we enter the code, and we go to Dracula's castle. You'll be pretty disappointed how anticlimactic this game is. It isn't even worth putting in a code, let alone playing the whole game all the way through, which, if ya did, I feel bad for you.
I mean, first of all... there's no enemies in Dracula's castle. You just walk all the way through and the only obstacles are just, like, goin' up and down steps, which won't hurt you and they aren't challenging either. It's just tedious. I mean, what the hell's the point of going through the castle if there's no way to fight? Did the game designers just, like, run out of time or somethin'?
So then you get up to Dracula, and guess what? He doesn't look anything like Dracula. Instead, he looks like a Grim Reaper and he throws sickles. I mean, did the people who made this game even know what Dracula is? He's a fuckin' vampire.
Alright, on top of everything, Dracula's way too easy. Check this out. This is a trick that I discovered myself, and so could you without the help of any strategy guide. When Dracula first appears, he stands there for a while, and he gives you plenty of time to land lots of free hits. Not only does he stand there for a long time, but everything that hits him will stun him and give ya even more time.
Naturally, you'll probably be using the flames, because it's one of the most effective weapons in the game. But using it against Dracula, it makes it simply impossible for him to even do anything. He has no chance. The second you start throwin' that shit at him, you've already won. I mean, why is it that easy? Did they even test this shitty game out before they released it?
What a piece of shit. I mean, I feel horrible that I had to play this game in order to make this video, but I did it to demonstrate its dreadfulness and I forced myself to play it just so that ya don't have to. So you should thank me for telling ya to stay away from this horrible steaming pile of goat shit. I mean... I know it's useless complaining about a game that was made back in the late '80s, or early '90s or whatever, but it just blows my mind how fuckin' horrible it is. I mean, it's consistently annoying.
Why? Why is it so bad? If all these problems were changed then we'd have a great trilogy of classic Castlevania games, but... history is history, and we might as well try to count Castlevania III as... y'know, the second in the series, and leave this awful piece of horse shit alone, as it stands today as one of the biggest fuck-ups of all time.
Thank you for listening, good night.
The ending sucks too.
The first thing that's strikingly different is the fact that ya have to go through towns, talk to people, and buy stuff. I never really minded that, it makes it a little more like an adventure story, and it's kinda like Zelda, so that's okay. But the first problem comes in when it changes from day to night.
Why does this need to happen so often? Like, every five minutes? Why does it take so long? Nobody feels like sitting through this every time. How would you like it if you were playin' a game and then every five minutes I came over and paused it, then counted ten tedious seconds and then let you continue play the game? Now, I mean, why did they think that that would be a good idea and interrupt the gameplay? Did they think it would be more realistic? I mean, in real life, I don't have to stop in my tracks when the sun sets and a fuckin' box doesn't pop up in the air. I mean, this is one of the most annoying features in any game ever. What's the point? Yeah, the, I mean, the monsters are stronger at night and the stores are closed, but why's that necessary and why does the game have to stop? It's fuckin' retarded.
And why do ya have to die when you fall in the water? That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen. This guy (Simon Belmont) can go all over fightin' hordes of evil monsters, but he can't even fuckin' swim? Sometimes I don't feel like goin' down the stairs just to get down to ground level. I mean, there's no reason I should have to do that when I can just take a shortcut and jump down. But oops! I shouldn't do that, there might be water down there.
Another thing that's really annoying about this game is the fact that ya have to buy weapons and items. I mean, still, that's not uncommon, you know like I said: that's the same thing ya have to do in many great games like Zelda, but, lemme explain.
Here ya have to collect hearts, which count as money; I mean, that's kinda odd, because usually hearts count as life or energy, y'know, so that's kinda strange. But, y'know that's not the point. The point is that the items you need to buy are too fuckin' expensive, and the hearts don't add up enough. It takes too long to get enough of them to buy something, and it gets boring wandering around killing the same monsters over and over again just so you can buy a Flame Whip or somethin'.
Speakin' of Flame Whip, that's pretty weird itself, isn't it? I mean, they were really being creative with that one, the flame whip.
Anyway, about the hearts. It takes too long to buy stuff. And, to add onto the problem, when you die, you lose all your hearts and ya have to start all over again. I mean, doing this doesn't add to any of the game's difficulty or challenge, it just makes us have to do more of the same monotonous stuff over again, and it's not fun, it's boring.
Oh look, I finally got enough hearts to go and buy a plant that I need to cross the swamp. Now let me get to the store. Oh shit, it's fuckin' night time. Now the stores are all closed and I have to wait for it to turn day again. Oh well, I might as well kill some zombies in the meantime and stock up on some more hearts. Oh shit, now I gotta start all over again.
One of the worst things in the game are the Pitfalls, which are areas where there's, like, stones or blocks that look like you could walk on them, but instead ya just fall through. It's impossible to tell where these spots are the first time walkin' through, so you just have to keep throwin' Holy Water all over to see where they are. It's retarded. Why should I have to do that? Again, it doesn't add up to any of the fun, y'know, challenge of the game. It's just unfair and it's annoying.
In the dungeons, there's no bosses at the end, which is a big disappointment. Every Nintendo gamester knows that at the end of a level or a dungeon labyrinth, or whatever, there's always supposed to be a big guy who ya fight. But here, they just got lazy and only put a few bosses in the game and left some of the dungeons just empty like this one. So, most of the dungeons you go through (the mansions, to be exact), there's nothing at the end except for a crystal orb that ya can't touch.
In the rest of the Castlevania games, the tradition goes like this. You fight a boss, ya defeat him, then an orb comes down, and ya touch it. There you go, on to the next level. But in Castlevania II, how would you ever figure out that you're supposed to throw an Oak Stake at that orb? I mean, when you first get the Oak Stake you assume it's a weapon. And you throw it... only to find that it does absolutely nothing... and that you waste it by throwing it, so ya have to get it all over again.
There are parts in the game that are definitely not self-explanatory and are too hard to figure out. Take this dead end for example. Would you guess that you're supposed to pass through this wall? How? You have to kneel down by it for like ten seconds. Now still, that's not enough to make it so cryptic and hidden that we can't figure it out, "oh please, give us more for our buck and make it harder so we can wander around the whole game and exhaust every possibility before we find out". Okay. Guess what? You need to have a Red Crystal selected, and be kneeling down, and wait a little while before this magic tornado comes and takes ya to the next part of the game.
Most of the townspeople have things to say which aren't important at all, so why do ya have to read 'em? Here in the dungeons, there's books that you may find which actually give ya clues about things in the game that you may need to know about. But when I find these books half the time, it's by accident, so I may hit the button and cancel it out which means that I don't even get to read it and I don't have a second chance.
Why can't I do that when it changes from day to night? That would actually be helpful. So what the game designers figured is this: it isn't absolutely necessary for me to read about how to find Dracula's castle or what I'm supposed to do with an Oak Stake, but what I do need to read, again and again constantly, is, "The morning sun has vanquished the horrible night". How 'bout "vanquished this horrible GAME"?!
The only sure way to get through this awful game is to enter a code, but even that is way more tedious than it should be. While most of the Castlevania games have symbols ya enter for a code, this one just has a whole bunch of numbers. I mean like, one of those little parts would be enough for a password, but why... four? Like, why so many?
In general, I hate games that have passwords like this, because sometimes they have uppercase and lowercase letters. Like the l's, y'know, look like I's, the 0's look like O's, the 8's look like 5's so, why does there have to be so many digits? Y'know, like why can't it just be numbers or somethin'? Like y'know, just numbers and not letters? I mean, it takes me like five minutes to enter this code when it should only take like five seconds. It's friggin' stupid.
Okay. So, say we enter the code, and we go to Dracula's castle. You'll be pretty disappointed how anticlimactic this game is. It isn't even worth putting in a code, let alone playing the whole game all the way through, which, if ya did, I feel bad for you.
I mean, first of all... there's no enemies in Dracula's castle. You just walk all the way through and the only obstacles are just, like, goin' up and down steps, which won't hurt you and they aren't challenging either. It's just tedious. I mean, what the hell's the point of going through the castle if there's no way to fight? Did the game designers just, like, run out of time or somethin'?
So then you get up to Dracula, and guess what? He doesn't look anything like Dracula. Instead, he looks like a Grim Reaper and he throws sickles. I mean, did the people who made this game even know what Dracula is? He's a fuckin' vampire.
Alright, on top of everything, Dracula's way too easy. Check this out. This is a trick that I discovered myself, and so could you without the help of any strategy guide. When Dracula first appears, he stands there for a while, and he gives you plenty of time to land lots of free hits. Not only does he stand there for a long time, but everything that hits him will stun him and give ya even more time.
Naturally, you'll probably be using the flames, because it's one of the most effective weapons in the game. But using it against Dracula, it makes it simply impossible for him to even do anything. He has no chance. The second you start throwin' that shit at him, you've already won. I mean, why is it that easy? Did they even test this shitty game out before they released it?
What a piece of shit. I mean, I feel horrible that I had to play this game in order to make this video, but I did it to demonstrate its dreadfulness and I forced myself to play it just so that ya don't have to. So you should thank me for telling ya to stay away from this horrible steaming pile of goat shit. I mean... I know it's useless complaining about a game that was made back in the late '80s, or early '90s or whatever, but it just blows my mind how fuckin' horrible it is. I mean, it's consistently annoying.
Why? Why is it so bad? If all these problems were changed then we'd have a great trilogy of classic Castlevania games, but... history is history, and we might as well try to count Castlevania III as... y'know, the second in the series, and leave this awful piece of horse shit alone, as it stands today as one of the biggest fuck-ups of all time.
Thank you for listening, good night.
The ending sucks too.
Blue Archive
2021
Puyo Puyo Da!
1999
ngl tho, the Puyo Puyo/Madou Monogatari cast have the drip, like they actually resemble their personalities. Of course Arle wears baggy pants, Schezo is the maracas himbo, Satan's our fishnet sexyman, and Rulue hangs out at Hot Topic. I'm sure someone at Compile just got hammered one night and asked "why don't we just dress the gang in American urban wear and have them dance like PaRappa?" That's one big problem with bosses taking you out to drink: you never know what random thing you'll say that later becomes a 1999 PaRappa the Rapper-like.
| The rise and fall of Puyo, Madou, Compile, and more |
There's both little to say and so much to cover with Puyo Puyo DA!, one of Compile's final releases. It's a hastily made, simplistic rhythm title bandwagoning on the hip-hop dog's success. There's a scant eight songs for eight minimally different characters, with only the most basic single-player and multi-player modes. And the actual rhythm game part of this package isn't much to speak for, either. I can sense that the devs generally matched distinct notes, rhythms, and other musical bits to the button charts they designed, but the laggy input processing means you're always tapping a bit behind the beat. Must I explain why that's frustrating and should have gotten at least a week to test-fix? Neither are the charts and songs varied enough to compete with its direct inspiration, let alone so many BEMANI series which trounced it in content and playability. The crust is real, folks—presentation and a great soundtrack save this from the trashcan, but how'd Compile go from one of Japan's most consistent self-publishers to…whatever greenlit this?
Prior to folding and its IPs scattering to the winds, the company had dug itself into a corner in every way. Masamitsu "Moo" Niitani and other leaders had drastically shifted Compile's direction away from their varied arcade-y shooters, puzzlers, xRPGs, etc. which brought them critical and commercial success. These still existed and even thrived on Disc Station subscription disks/CDs for various PCs, but on consoles and in arcades, Puyo Puyo and its parent series Madou Monogatari were the cash crops de jour. [1] Puyo Puyo did so damn well in game centers, rivaling many popular versus fighters in popularity, that Niitani centered most of the studio's resources around sequels and spinoffs. And all those largely similar Madou remakes for different machines proved fruitful, for a time. I mean, sure, they've effectively spurned their STG developers away by throwing all their resources at excuses to spread le smug Carbuncle face everywhere, which is why talent like Yuichi Toyama left sometime in 1992 to form Raizing (8ing). That's not a bad sign, right?
You bet it was. Things went far worse in other market sectors that Compile soon targeted. Though various Puyo-Madou merch sold well during the series' heyday, like the Puyoman manju candies, the cooling (though not dead) interest in these combat puzzlers left the corporation and its partners saddled with inventory and frustrated distributors. [2] Both an ill-advised new office in Fukuoka and a dead-on-arrival business software suite called Power Acty tightened their slim wallets even further. Worst of all, though, Compile just didn't have the mainstream console and PC presence they used to. Cash-cropping Puyo-Madou to such degrees hurt not only their blockbuster action games, but even the smaller faire reserved for Disc Station and handhelds. Difficulty courting new talent, insubstantial series entries sent to die on nearly dead consoles (all those late-stage Mega Drive carts!), an unwillingness to experiment with MMOs or get more involved with their surprising Disc Station hype in South Korea…I could go on. Compile found Incredible New Ways to Bleed Money seemingly every quarter from around 1996 to 1998, which eventually had them filing for bankruptcy and promising Puyo-Madou's rights to SEGA if unable to pay them back by 2002.
With some fresh cash from restructuring, Compile had precious few years left to use the Puyo-Madou IP intact before ceding them to the new owners. So, not learning any lessons from this outcome, they doubled down on the franchise even harder. Their lack of confidence in starting new big properties, let alone bringing any non-Puyo games to the PS1 while it was hot, led to quick, often copycat products on the SEGA systems they were overly familiar with. Wait, that's a great idea: have our Puyo-Madou guys make us some hit DC software! I'll admit that a Puyo spinoff's still got more immediate appeal to our Western eyes than something wholly new or remade from the Disc Station catalog. Except the latter's what happened anyway. Puyo Puyo DA! exists partly thanks to an earlier PC-98 minigame called Broadway Legend Elena. Now both games can be done dirty for the good of getting Compile off its bruised back! And I'd even be fine with that if this GD-ROM had sold well enough to save at least the development studio. No dice. Our beleaguered company limped along until 2003, with very few games releasing that late except on PC and handhelds. Zanac X Zanac and Guru Logic Champ deserved better than this, as did Wander Wonder, After Devil Force, Geo Conflict…argh. IGDB doesn't even many of these games listed yet, a telling sign of the studio's late-stage irrelevance.
We live in one of the timelines ever, and this one sadly saddles us with Compile Heart, SEGA arguably mishandling the Puyo-Madou war chest over time, and most other IPs receiving basic re-releases by the Project EGG people. Quite the downfall from the company's mid-'90s apex, back when you could find ads and broadcasts showcasing their swag and software on major networks. [3] You'd think that a Compile flush with cash would have tried bringing way more of their products out West during this time, a wise investment that would have made banks and investors plenty happy. Of course, why take that risk when you could just hire the army of staff needed to draft up a Puyo-Madou theme park, buy the land, and start construction? [4] Genius planning there, guys. It's almost like chasing trends which were clearly fads ended up kneecapping this corp in no time flat, a pattern as old as the consumer electronics industries in Japan, the U.S., etc. going back to the '60s. Localization efforts to broaden their market beyond this domestic audience wouldn't have seemed as glamorous, sure, yet they could have kept Compile going on its own terms for a long time.
| Grooving out like there's no tomorrow |
Oh, right, where does Puyo Puyo DA! factor into all of this? I doubt this game exists in place of some unknown better project (though I won't rule it out), yet it's still bittersweet to try out today. One could get quite a bit of fun from this if they're a fan of the genre, and/or love to watch these Puyo masters dabbing on each other for an hour. There's also Elena (or Ellena, IDK), no longer having a funny story mode like in her original game. She's not even one of the easy characters to play as, getting harder charts than Arle or Suke-T despite having subtitle spotlight on the game's cover. As I booted in, skipped the minimal options menu, and started a regular game using Ellena, this was beginning to look dicey. At least the window dressing's cute; chunky lower-poly modeling on this platform almost always looks nicer than it should. Each level is colorful, readable, and thematically appropriate. Everyone on stage has a hypnotic cadence, and
I keep bringing up Ellena's game because it did, in fact, predate PaRappa and other Simon Says-style rhythm classics from that hardware cycle, a legacy which the game loop in Puyo Puyo DA! neither advances nor matches in quality. Broadway Legend Ellena didn't have the combo chaining mechanic you can mildly synergize with here, yet that still felt like a dream compared to this. Set aside the aforementioned lack of music-input sync and we're stuck with a very limited set of commands to dance with. Face buttons and that blistering DC d-pad let you tap all four colors of Puyo while shoulder buttons handle the sun Puyo—where the fuck's the analog stick?! Every instance of tapping three or more 16th-note Puyos, wondering if input lag or my fingers would mess up first, has me wishing I could instead twist quarter-circles to accomplish the same. Better yet, having to use both Puyos and analog-based dancing motions would have added something meaningful to the pace and diversity of charts. All the characters feel too same-y without that extra layer, and the most engagement I found here came from executing some downright evil split-second segments.
Puyo combos are a minor mix-up to the formula, too, which I noticed mainly when the tide of duels went against me. Like in a classic Puyo match, nailing all your inputs in a row showers the opponent's "junk" bar with evil blobs. However, this presents a false sense of strategy; either player, real or AI, will lose the match if even one junk Puyo remains on their side. Compile could have added scaling thresholds of how much trash you can take on before toggling that lose state, but no, it's truly all or nothing, and the final rounds against Satan and Rulue on Hard become needlessly evil. Hell, the main series' concept of a filling, claustrophobic playfield is absent here, which makes death-by-grey-goo feel even weirder. It really grinds my gears to witness this much potential being squandered for reasons I have no way to verify. Did the team run out of time or money later in development? Was this always a cheapie, recycling nearly its whole soundtrack from Compile's own albums while tasking their few 3D modelers to do the real work? One day we'll uncover the truth; I've known the Puyo Puyo fandom long enough to vouch for their dedication and persistence.
| When all's lost, shout from your soul! |
All these grievances haven't overshadowed the main reason I can still play this, thankfully, which is that perverse delight of watching Compile's mascots gyrating to, as the kids call them these days, Absolute Bangers. The studio's sound team, like so many from Japanese developers in this period, had their own in-house vocalists and live band, performing and recording many catchy tunes throughout the '90s. Taken this way, Puyo Puyo DA! unironically succeeds as a sampler disc and playable jukebox in one, entertaining less for how it plays and more through its curated set of discotheque-grade jams. I bring up disco because, relative to the aggressive IDM booming around Y2K, what's offered here might seem tame, cheesy, or downright laughable at times. Maybe I'm a sucker for MIDI synth-brass, karaoke bravado, and canned drum loops, though. Pair this camp soundscape with suitably stiff but charming animation and we've got a winner! Even good 'ol Niitani sings on some of the tracks—good for him.
For all its shortcomings, plus misreading a market moving on to Dance Dance Revolution and other rhythm innovators, I kind of love Puyo Puyo DA! the way only a video game historian can. This absolutely was not the kind of game that could save Compile, and I wonder if it managed to break even considering the Dreamcast's abysmal performance in Japan. Still, it's a hoot for any self-styled Puyo-Madou heads, which I am one of. From those awkwardly easy opening moments to the trial-and-error irritations later on, I still bopped along to Katsumi Tanaka's cheery vocals, no less powerful than Takenobu Mitsuyoshi when you need him. And glancing at my avatar's comical reaction to missing a chain, or the very same from an opponent, kept me going well past the point of dropping this in disgust. Little details here and there tell me that someone at Compile had fun and passion while developing this, even if it started life as yet another hail-Mary from a dying soft house trying to avert disaster. At the very least, we'll have learned more from this event than Moo Niitani ever did—seriously, does he think he can capture lightning in a bottle twice, or are Puyo-style puzzlers the only thing he has left to pitch when starting a new doomed company? What a cursed franchise. Pardon me, it's closing time and I gotta pour one out for Kazunari Yonemitsu and the gang (don't worry, he and the rest at Sting are doing alright).
Completed for the Backloggd Discord server’s Game of the Week club, Apr. 4 - 10, 2023
| Bibliography |
[1] discstation. “コンパイル@DiscStation Wiki.” コンパイル@discstation wiki. アットウィキ, November 19, 2022. https://w.atwiki.jp/discstation/.
[2] compile.co.jp, webmaster @, ed. “Puyoman Products -FOODS-.” Compile. Compile Corporation, November 1, 1996. http://web.archive.org/web/19961101080505/http://www.compile.co.jp/puyoman/goods/foods/index2.html.
[3] Iwaki, Toshiaki, and Yoshito Onishi. “Tokyo Game Show: Puyo Puyo.” Broadcast. Tonight 2 1996, no. August 28. Tokyo, Kanto: TV Asahi, August 28, 1996. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtZB1QNdsi0&t=879s.
[4] さん blitz753challenge, ed. “貴重 ゲーム ぷよぷよ 魔導ランド 直筆絵画 コン...” ヤフオク! Yahoo! Japan, August 17, 2022. https://web.archive.org/web/20220818105430/https://page.auctions.yahoo.co.jp/jp/auction/d1060882018.
| The rise and fall of Puyo, Madou, Compile, and more |
There's both little to say and so much to cover with Puyo Puyo DA!, one of Compile's final releases. It's a hastily made, simplistic rhythm title bandwagoning on the hip-hop dog's success. There's a scant eight songs for eight minimally different characters, with only the most basic single-player and multi-player modes. And the actual rhythm game part of this package isn't much to speak for, either. I can sense that the devs generally matched distinct notes, rhythms, and other musical bits to the button charts they designed, but the laggy input processing means you're always tapping a bit behind the beat. Must I explain why that's frustrating and should have gotten at least a week to test-fix? Neither are the charts and songs varied enough to compete with its direct inspiration, let alone so many BEMANI series which trounced it in content and playability. The crust is real, folks—presentation and a great soundtrack save this from the trashcan, but how'd Compile go from one of Japan's most consistent self-publishers to…whatever greenlit this?
Prior to folding and its IPs scattering to the winds, the company had dug itself into a corner in every way. Masamitsu "Moo" Niitani and other leaders had drastically shifted Compile's direction away from their varied arcade-y shooters, puzzlers, xRPGs, etc. which brought them critical and commercial success. These still existed and even thrived on Disc Station subscription disks/CDs for various PCs, but on consoles and in arcades, Puyo Puyo and its parent series Madou Monogatari were the cash crops de jour. [1] Puyo Puyo did so damn well in game centers, rivaling many popular versus fighters in popularity, that Niitani centered most of the studio's resources around sequels and spinoffs. And all those largely similar Madou remakes for different machines proved fruitful, for a time. I mean, sure, they've effectively spurned their STG developers away by throwing all their resources at excuses to spread le smug Carbuncle face everywhere, which is why talent like Yuichi Toyama left sometime in 1992 to form Raizing (8ing). That's not a bad sign, right?
You bet it was. Things went far worse in other market sectors that Compile soon targeted. Though various Puyo-Madou merch sold well during the series' heyday, like the Puyoman manju candies, the cooling (though not dead) interest in these combat puzzlers left the corporation and its partners saddled with inventory and frustrated distributors. [2] Both an ill-advised new office in Fukuoka and a dead-on-arrival business software suite called Power Acty tightened their slim wallets even further. Worst of all, though, Compile just didn't have the mainstream console and PC presence they used to. Cash-cropping Puyo-Madou to such degrees hurt not only their blockbuster action games, but even the smaller faire reserved for Disc Station and handhelds. Difficulty courting new talent, insubstantial series entries sent to die on nearly dead consoles (all those late-stage Mega Drive carts!), an unwillingness to experiment with MMOs or get more involved with their surprising Disc Station hype in South Korea…I could go on. Compile found Incredible New Ways to Bleed Money seemingly every quarter from around 1996 to 1998, which eventually had them filing for bankruptcy and promising Puyo-Madou's rights to SEGA if unable to pay them back by 2002.
With some fresh cash from restructuring, Compile had precious few years left to use the Puyo-Madou IP intact before ceding them to the new owners. So, not learning any lessons from this outcome, they doubled down on the franchise even harder. Their lack of confidence in starting new big properties, let alone bringing any non-Puyo games to the PS1 while it was hot, led to quick, often copycat products on the SEGA systems they were overly familiar with. Wait, that's a great idea: have our Puyo-Madou guys make us some hit DC software! I'll admit that a Puyo spinoff's still got more immediate appeal to our Western eyes than something wholly new or remade from the Disc Station catalog. Except the latter's what happened anyway. Puyo Puyo DA! exists partly thanks to an earlier PC-98 minigame called Broadway Legend Elena. Now both games can be done dirty for the good of getting Compile off its bruised back! And I'd even be fine with that if this GD-ROM had sold well enough to save at least the development studio. No dice. Our beleaguered company limped along until 2003, with very few games releasing that late except on PC and handhelds. Zanac X Zanac and Guru Logic Champ deserved better than this, as did Wander Wonder, After Devil Force, Geo Conflict…argh. IGDB doesn't even many of these games listed yet, a telling sign of the studio's late-stage irrelevance.
We live in one of the timelines ever, and this one sadly saddles us with Compile Heart, SEGA arguably mishandling the Puyo-Madou war chest over time, and most other IPs receiving basic re-releases by the Project EGG people. Quite the downfall from the company's mid-'90s apex, back when you could find ads and broadcasts showcasing their swag and software on major networks. [3] You'd think that a Compile flush with cash would have tried bringing way more of their products out West during this time, a wise investment that would have made banks and investors plenty happy. Of course, why take that risk when you could just hire the army of staff needed to draft up a Puyo-Madou theme park, buy the land, and start construction? [4] Genius planning there, guys. It's almost like chasing trends which were clearly fads ended up kneecapping this corp in no time flat, a pattern as old as the consumer electronics industries in Japan, the U.S., etc. going back to the '60s. Localization efforts to broaden their market beyond this domestic audience wouldn't have seemed as glamorous, sure, yet they could have kept Compile going on its own terms for a long time.
| Grooving out like there's no tomorrow |
Oh, right, where does Puyo Puyo DA! factor into all of this? I doubt this game exists in place of some unknown better project (though I won't rule it out), yet it's still bittersweet to try out today. One could get quite a bit of fun from this if they're a fan of the genre, and/or love to watch these Puyo masters dabbing on each other for an hour. There's also Elena (or Ellena, IDK), no longer having a funny story mode like in her original game. She's not even one of the easy characters to play as, getting harder charts than Arle or Suke-T despite having subtitle spotlight on the game's cover. As I booted in, skipped the minimal options menu, and started a regular game using Ellena, this was beginning to look dicey. At least the window dressing's cute; chunky lower-poly modeling on this platform almost always looks nicer than it should. Each level is colorful, readable, and thematically appropriate. Everyone on stage has a hypnotic cadence, and
I keep bringing up Ellena's game because it did, in fact, predate PaRappa and other Simon Says-style rhythm classics from that hardware cycle, a legacy which the game loop in Puyo Puyo DA! neither advances nor matches in quality. Broadway Legend Ellena didn't have the combo chaining mechanic you can mildly synergize with here, yet that still felt like a dream compared to this. Set aside the aforementioned lack of music-input sync and we're stuck with a very limited set of commands to dance with. Face buttons and that blistering DC d-pad let you tap all four colors of Puyo while shoulder buttons handle the sun Puyo—where the fuck's the analog stick?! Every instance of tapping three or more 16th-note Puyos, wondering if input lag or my fingers would mess up first, has me wishing I could instead twist quarter-circles to accomplish the same. Better yet, having to use both Puyos and analog-based dancing motions would have added something meaningful to the pace and diversity of charts. All the characters feel too same-y without that extra layer, and the most engagement I found here came from executing some downright evil split-second segments.
Puyo combos are a minor mix-up to the formula, too, which I noticed mainly when the tide of duels went against me. Like in a classic Puyo match, nailing all your inputs in a row showers the opponent's "junk" bar with evil blobs. However, this presents a false sense of strategy; either player, real or AI, will lose the match if even one junk Puyo remains on their side. Compile could have added scaling thresholds of how much trash you can take on before toggling that lose state, but no, it's truly all or nothing, and the final rounds against Satan and Rulue on Hard become needlessly evil. Hell, the main series' concept of a filling, claustrophobic playfield is absent here, which makes death-by-grey-goo feel even weirder. It really grinds my gears to witness this much potential being squandered for reasons I have no way to verify. Did the team run out of time or money later in development? Was this always a cheapie, recycling nearly its whole soundtrack from Compile's own albums while tasking their few 3D modelers to do the real work? One day we'll uncover the truth; I've known the Puyo Puyo fandom long enough to vouch for their dedication and persistence.
| When all's lost, shout from your soul! |
All these grievances haven't overshadowed the main reason I can still play this, thankfully, which is that perverse delight of watching Compile's mascots gyrating to, as the kids call them these days, Absolute Bangers. The studio's sound team, like so many from Japanese developers in this period, had their own in-house vocalists and live band, performing and recording many catchy tunes throughout the '90s. Taken this way, Puyo Puyo DA! unironically succeeds as a sampler disc and playable jukebox in one, entertaining less for how it plays and more through its curated set of discotheque-grade jams. I bring up disco because, relative to the aggressive IDM booming around Y2K, what's offered here might seem tame, cheesy, or downright laughable at times. Maybe I'm a sucker for MIDI synth-brass, karaoke bravado, and canned drum loops, though. Pair this camp soundscape with suitably stiff but charming animation and we've got a winner! Even good 'ol Niitani sings on some of the tracks—good for him.
For all its shortcomings, plus misreading a market moving on to Dance Dance Revolution and other rhythm innovators, I kind of love Puyo Puyo DA! the way only a video game historian can. This absolutely was not the kind of game that could save Compile, and I wonder if it managed to break even considering the Dreamcast's abysmal performance in Japan. Still, it's a hoot for any self-styled Puyo-Madou heads, which I am one of. From those awkwardly easy opening moments to the trial-and-error irritations later on, I still bopped along to Katsumi Tanaka's cheery vocals, no less powerful than Takenobu Mitsuyoshi when you need him. And glancing at my avatar's comical reaction to missing a chain, or the very same from an opponent, kept me going well past the point of dropping this in disgust. Little details here and there tell me that someone at Compile had fun and passion while developing this, even if it started life as yet another hail-Mary from a dying soft house trying to avert disaster. At the very least, we'll have learned more from this event than Moo Niitani ever did—seriously, does he think he can capture lightning in a bottle twice, or are Puyo-style puzzlers the only thing he has left to pitch when starting a new doomed company? What a cursed franchise. Pardon me, it's closing time and I gotta pour one out for Kazunari Yonemitsu and the gang (don't worry, he and the rest at Sting are doing alright).
Completed for the Backloggd Discord server’s Game of the Week club, Apr. 4 - 10, 2023
| Bibliography |
[1] discstation. “コンパイル@DiscStation Wiki.” コンパイル@discstation wiki. アットウィキ, November 19, 2022. https://w.atwiki.jp/discstation/.
[2] compile.co.jp, webmaster @, ed. “Puyoman Products -FOODS-.” Compile. Compile Corporation, November 1, 1996. http://web.archive.org/web/19961101080505/http://www.compile.co.jp/puyoman/goods/foods/index2.html.
[3] Iwaki, Toshiaki, and Yoshito Onishi. “Tokyo Game Show: Puyo Puyo.” Broadcast. Tonight 2 1996, no. August 28. Tokyo, Kanto: TV Asahi, August 28, 1996. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtZB1QNdsi0&t=879s.
[4] さん blitz753challenge, ed. “貴重 ゲーム ぷよぷよ 魔導ランド 直筆絵画 コン...” ヤフオク! Yahoo! Japan, August 17, 2022. https://web.archive.org/web/20220818105430/https://page.auctions.yahoo.co.jp/jp/auction/d1060882018.
Metal Gear Solid
1998
This review contains spoilers
Metal Gear Solid is art. It showcases what the art form of gaming is capable of, an amazing leap forward for its time and a hallmark of art as a medium ever since. A video game that encapsulates everything beautiful about art into one conglomeration, beautiful music, a powerful story, admittedly average gameplay that surprisingly still feels good to this day, all coupled with voice acting unprecedented for its time, especially for a title from a Japanese studio being localized for the United States.
From the minute I stepped into Metal Gear Solid, it is very clear that it is something special. The framing of the narrative is well crafted, something that strikes fear in man. A nuclear war will breakout should you fail, all that stands between humanity and death is you. A man who is staid and cold, Snake, the legendary mercenary, a man who cares little about those around him. Putting a man like this in a situation like this feels like an oxymoron, one who cares little about his fellow man is the one who is left to save the world.
The game stays tense, everything about it is stressful, one mistake and everything we know is gone. As Snake proceeds in his mission we are shown more human sides of him, Snake is not a sore winner or one that stands over the fallen and beats his chest. Snake shows compassion to those he defeats and kills, holding them in their final moments or staying by their side as they pass. This is most notable after his fights with Sniper Wolf and Raven, that near the tail end of the game. Snake’s humanity is also shown through Meryl and Otacon, people who get wrapped up in the mess that comes with the mission. At first, Snake is uncaring for their presence, willing to let them die in order to not get dragged down. As the game progresses he is shown to care for Meryl, facing torture from Revolver Ocelot in order to protect her from being harmed.
When we rescue Hal Emmerich, Otacon, we are introduced to Grey Fox, as his name entails, a character who is grey, one with mysterious and unknown motives. (without knowledge of Metal Gear) Grey Fox first appears to cut off Revolver Ocelot’s hand, then reappears as a boss. He then appears throughout the game as an ally that will randomly show up and help Snake. His final appearance is in the final boss of the game, Metal Gear Rex. He shows up and sacrifices his life to assist Snake, we learn that he is Snake’s former ally, and as he dies he gives his final words. Regardless of who he worked for, he was never a tool. Grey Fox fought for what he believed in.
That moment helps us further Snake’s character, a mercenary being manipulated and used by the government, information for his mission being held from him in order to keep him around. This all culminates in the end of the game, after the defeat of Liquid Snake, Solid Snake, now known as David, leaves Mother Base with Meryl (or Otacon). Deciding to leave and decide that for himself how to live his life. His life now has meaning past fighting and being a mercenary.
No matter how bad or scary life can be, life is beautiful and we should cherish it. Our existence is defined by our own choices and growth through life. Not through genetics, a key point of the game, the Genome soldiers, born and created to be the perfect soldiers to fight and kill, Liquid Snake, Snake’s brother, also a clone of Big Boss who believes all he can do is fight, as thats what his genetics and existence was made to do. The outlier being Snake, a man who lets go of his genetics and becomes independent, understanding the beauty and importance of free will and life, not letting others dictate what he should do and letting them control their life.
Metal Gear Solid is an amazing game, one that teaches us no matter the misery or destitution that may come with life, we must carve our own futures and our own paths forward. We should not hold ourselves back by what we believe we were supposed to do, but lift ourselves up by what we want to do. We must continue to live, we must continue to fight, we must continue forward to carve the paths for ourselves now, ourselves in the future, and the generations that will come after us.
From the minute I stepped into Metal Gear Solid, it is very clear that it is something special. The framing of the narrative is well crafted, something that strikes fear in man. A nuclear war will breakout should you fail, all that stands between humanity and death is you. A man who is staid and cold, Snake, the legendary mercenary, a man who cares little about those around him. Putting a man like this in a situation like this feels like an oxymoron, one who cares little about his fellow man is the one who is left to save the world.
The game stays tense, everything about it is stressful, one mistake and everything we know is gone. As Snake proceeds in his mission we are shown more human sides of him, Snake is not a sore winner or one that stands over the fallen and beats his chest. Snake shows compassion to those he defeats and kills, holding them in their final moments or staying by their side as they pass. This is most notable after his fights with Sniper Wolf and Raven, that near the tail end of the game. Snake’s humanity is also shown through Meryl and Otacon, people who get wrapped up in the mess that comes with the mission. At first, Snake is uncaring for their presence, willing to let them die in order to not get dragged down. As the game progresses he is shown to care for Meryl, facing torture from Revolver Ocelot in order to protect her from being harmed.
When we rescue Hal Emmerich, Otacon, we are introduced to Grey Fox, as his name entails, a character who is grey, one with mysterious and unknown motives. (without knowledge of Metal Gear) Grey Fox first appears to cut off Revolver Ocelot’s hand, then reappears as a boss. He then appears throughout the game as an ally that will randomly show up and help Snake. His final appearance is in the final boss of the game, Metal Gear Rex. He shows up and sacrifices his life to assist Snake, we learn that he is Snake’s former ally, and as he dies he gives his final words. Regardless of who he worked for, he was never a tool. Grey Fox fought for what he believed in.
That moment helps us further Snake’s character, a mercenary being manipulated and used by the government, information for his mission being held from him in order to keep him around. This all culminates in the end of the game, after the defeat of Liquid Snake, Solid Snake, now known as David, leaves Mother Base with Meryl (or Otacon). Deciding to leave and decide that for himself how to live his life. His life now has meaning past fighting and being a mercenary.
No matter how bad or scary life can be, life is beautiful and we should cherish it. Our existence is defined by our own choices and growth through life. Not through genetics, a key point of the game, the Genome soldiers, born and created to be the perfect soldiers to fight and kill, Liquid Snake, Snake’s brother, also a clone of Big Boss who believes all he can do is fight, as thats what his genetics and existence was made to do. The outlier being Snake, a man who lets go of his genetics and becomes independent, understanding the beauty and importance of free will and life, not letting others dictate what he should do and letting them control their life.
Metal Gear Solid is an amazing game, one that teaches us no matter the misery or destitution that may come with life, we must carve our own futures and our own paths forward. We should not hold ourselves back by what we believe we were supposed to do, but lift ourselves up by what we want to do. We must continue to live, we must continue to fight, we must continue forward to carve the paths for ourselves now, ourselves in the future, and the generations that will come after us.
Bushiroad staff meeting:
"Alright how do we make a story scenario to justify continuing a perfectly conclusive story in order to milk the hell out of the IP like everything else we have?"
"Have you heard of a game called Sonic and the Secret Rings?"
Also Karen looks like a skinwalker in this game why is its artstyle so unappealing and lifeless
"Alright how do we make a story scenario to justify continuing a perfectly conclusive story in order to milk the hell out of the IP like everything else we have?"
"Have you heard of a game called Sonic and the Secret Rings?"
Also Karen looks like a skinwalker in this game why is its artstyle so unappealing and lifeless