the year is 2014. angry game reviewer wakes up in a cold sweat on an apartment's bathroom floor with amateur looking blood splatters and shit splatters on the tile.
a familiar mask appears on a nearby crt sitting precariously above the bathtub.
jigsaw: "game reviewer. you have played so many games and yet you hate them all, even the nintendo ones you say you love so much. you do not appreciate life enough. for this you must now play through a video game. a fun one. you know the one."
angry game reviewer: "NO nononono, no nope no. never! i promised myself i'd never play that game you tricycle riding assclown."
jigsaw: "oh but i'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter, game reviewer. and you've seen the reviews. 6 out of 10... it's a passing grade. maybe you'll like this one."
angry game reviewer: "jigsaw you fuck! anything but that! this is even worse than sonic 06. even worse than the latest cod! even worse than other m... i said i'd never touch it!"
a disc floats ominously in front of the game reviewer, who gets up despite having his ankle shackled to what one would assume was the bathtub. he grabs it as the saw theme fades in in the background. the front of the disc cannot be seen.
jigsaw: "you wanna play a little game????"
the reviewer looks at the disc in horror and lets out a comical scream in response to jigsaw. the camera switches to in front of the disc and the music swells unnecessarily loudly as the camera zooms into the title, which takes a second to properly come into focus but is unmistakably 'saw'.
the camera goes shaky and random visual filters flicker on screen to illustrate the angry game reviewer's inner turmoil.
angry game reviewer: "no NO SHIT SHIT SHIT! GEMME-- GEH-- GEMME OUTTA HERE! AWWGH! GET ME OUUT! GEH-- LEMME OUT! HELP ME! OooH FUCK!"
a familiar mask appears on a nearby crt sitting precariously above the bathtub.
jigsaw: "game reviewer. you have played so many games and yet you hate them all, even the nintendo ones you say you love so much. you do not appreciate life enough. for this you must now play through a video game. a fun one. you know the one."
angry game reviewer: "NO nononono, no nope no. never! i promised myself i'd never play that game you tricycle riding assclown."
jigsaw: "oh but i'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter, game reviewer. and you've seen the reviews. 6 out of 10... it's a passing grade. maybe you'll like this one."
angry game reviewer: "jigsaw you fuck! anything but that! this is even worse than sonic 06. even worse than the latest cod! even worse than other m... i said i'd never touch it!"
a disc floats ominously in front of the game reviewer, who gets up despite having his ankle shackled to what one would assume was the bathtub. he grabs it as the saw theme fades in in the background. the front of the disc cannot be seen.
jigsaw: "you wanna play a little game????"
the reviewer looks at the disc in horror and lets out a comical scream in response to jigsaw. the camera switches to in front of the disc and the music swells unnecessarily loudly as the camera zooms into the title, which takes a second to properly come into focus but is unmistakably 'saw'.
the camera goes shaky and random visual filters flicker on screen to illustrate the angry game reviewer's inner turmoil.
angry game reviewer: "no NO SHIT SHIT SHIT! GEMME-- GEH-- GEMME OUTTA HERE! AWWGH! GET ME OUUT! GEH-- LEMME OUT! HELP ME! OooH FUCK!"