This review contains spoilers
Before I played this game, I expected it to come with a free blowjob from all the praise I've heard about it. Now, 110 fucking in-game hours and over two real-life months later, I'm finally done and... it was good. Time to write an entire college thesis worth of random thoughts I have about this game with zero cohesion or proof-reading. I don't usually do this, but I think a game as long as this deserves it.
Warning that I’m going to be complaining a lot, because it’s much easier to talk about stuff I didn’t like than going “erm the story is adequate in use of the postmodern pastiche”- like shut up nerd, nobody wants to read that.
First of all, holy shit, this game is long. The calendar mechanics are fun at first - managing your days and going to Palaces whenever you want, but it all started to wear thin after I finished Shido's palace. I had all of my stats and most of the confidants I cared about maxed out by that point, so what I was left with was an entire December + third semester of hanging out with the sloppy seconds (Ohya, Shinya, Iwai - come on now, nobody cares about these guys).
I have to say though - the ending was perfect and I did in fact start sweating from my eyes a bit.
Despite having so many mechanics, I barely used most of them. I doubt there’s a single person in the world who went to the fishing pond more than once. All of the infiltration tools except for the lockpick are useless. I forgot the billiards and darts place was even a thing.
The recreation of Tokyo is really cute and apparently very faithful. The world is full of little things to do, but only a handful of them actually amount to anything. I only went to places like the maid café and temple for the achievements, since DVDs are completely busted and easily the best and fastest way to boost your stats, making most of the other activities obsolete. (Plus you level up your stats waaay too quickly in my opinion. I was done with all of them around Okumura's palace)
Most of the confidants are alright.
Morgana wasn’t as annoying as I thought he’d be, but that sequence before Okumura’s palace with him and Haru was actually painful to play through. It kind of soured me on Haru’s character at first, which sucks, because I ended up really liking her by the end.
Ann’s super weird. A substantial portion of the first arc is about how she doesn’t want to be sexualized and objectified, and then they immediately put her in a skintight boob-window dominatrix suit, give her a whip and make her say “squeal like a pig” as she attacks.
The best characters were probably Sojiro, Yusuke and Ryuji. I also ended up romancing Makoto, because it almost seemed like the game was nudging her to me as the canon choice and she was alright as well (by the end, I would have gone for Haru instead, but I’m a loyal guy, don’t worry).
Yusuke’s just a silly guy, Ryuji’s a sweetheart and didn’t deserve being the designated punching bag, and Sojiro’s Brojiro.
The antagonists are another thing though. There is really no contest - Kamoshida is the best one by several astronomical units. The mystique around the first few in-game months added to him actually feeling like a genuine threat, since I (and the characters) didn’t exactly understand what was going to happen. The rest of the villains boil down to “Oooo I’m evil and I’m gonna do evil things to (new party member)” [treasure gets stolen] “Fuck, guess I’ll stay in bed for an entire month while the party members text eachother how worried they are for the eightieth time”.
Looking back at everything, Madarame and Kaneshiro were barely even characters. Okumura was alright because of the twist, even if I refuse to comment on his boss fight and palace design.
The worst antagonist though, by far, was Goro fucking Akechi. Jesus Christ I hated that guy. The whole plot around his betrayal was awesome and I loved it, but after that, his entire character falls apart. Like, boo hoo motherfucker. You have daddy issues so suddenly I should feel bad for a psychopathic serial killer? Gimme a break. His redemption isn’t earned and feels like a note-for-note recreation of this video. Why did the party members try to forgive him and get him on their side?? He’s like 10x worse than most of the palace rulers they’ve fought. He killed Futaba’s mother, doesn't feel any remorse, and they want to paint him as a victim? Huh?
Alright next up, the presentation - it’s incredible. Everything from the music to the menus made me feel like the biggest badass around. Like fuck yeah, I’m a phantom thief! Watch me sync the All-Out Attack with the battle music! I’ve seen some people complain about the battle system, but as a filthy turn-based enjoyer, I thought it was great. Knocking enemies down, baton-passing, activating ridiculous cinematic attacks and collecting personas was a lot of fun. It’s not the most mentally stimulating system and there’s only really two actually difficult bosses (Shadow Okumura and Azathoth), but I liked it.
I didn’t play the original P5 so I don’t exactly know what new things were added in Royal except for Yoshizawa and Maruki. All of the scenes with Yoshizawa initially felt like a Mary Sue self-insert, but the third semester made me understand why that was, and I ended up really liking her.
Maruki’s fine and his palace is one of the better ones, but his motives are kinda goofy, ngl.
So basically, I didn’t think this game was the best thing ever made, nor was it Midsona 5 + L + ratio, it was just a good game and I enjoyed it. 8/10. From what I’ve heard, I’d probably like Persona 4 even more. It’s in my backlog, but first I gotta mentally recharge with some short bing bing wahoo baby games. And also cry into my pillow a bit because Yusuke is not real and not really my friend.
Warning that I’m going to be complaining a lot, because it’s much easier to talk about stuff I didn’t like than going “erm the story is adequate in use of the postmodern pastiche”- like shut up nerd, nobody wants to read that.
First of all, holy shit, this game is long. The calendar mechanics are fun at first - managing your days and going to Palaces whenever you want, but it all started to wear thin after I finished Shido's palace. I had all of my stats and most of the confidants I cared about maxed out by that point, so what I was left with was an entire December + third semester of hanging out with the sloppy seconds (Ohya, Shinya, Iwai - come on now, nobody cares about these guys).
I have to say though - the ending was perfect and I did in fact start sweating from my eyes a bit.
Despite having so many mechanics, I barely used most of them. I doubt there’s a single person in the world who went to the fishing pond more than once. All of the infiltration tools except for the lockpick are useless. I forgot the billiards and darts place was even a thing.
The recreation of Tokyo is really cute and apparently very faithful. The world is full of little things to do, but only a handful of them actually amount to anything. I only went to places like the maid café and temple for the achievements, since DVDs are completely busted and easily the best and fastest way to boost your stats, making most of the other activities obsolete. (Plus you level up your stats waaay too quickly in my opinion. I was done with all of them around Okumura's palace)
Most of the confidants are alright.
Morgana wasn’t as annoying as I thought he’d be, but that sequence before Okumura’s palace with him and Haru was actually painful to play through. It kind of soured me on Haru’s character at first, which sucks, because I ended up really liking her by the end.
Ann’s super weird. A substantial portion of the first arc is about how she doesn’t want to be sexualized and objectified, and then they immediately put her in a skintight boob-window dominatrix suit, give her a whip and make her say “squeal like a pig” as she attacks.
The best characters were probably Sojiro, Yusuke and Ryuji. I also ended up romancing Makoto, because it almost seemed like the game was nudging her to me as the canon choice and she was alright as well (by the end, I would have gone for Haru instead, but I’m a loyal guy, don’t worry).
Yusuke’s just a silly guy, Ryuji’s a sweetheart and didn’t deserve being the designated punching bag, and Sojiro’s Brojiro.
The antagonists are another thing though. There is really no contest - Kamoshida is the best one by several astronomical units. The mystique around the first few in-game months added to him actually feeling like a genuine threat, since I (and the characters) didn’t exactly understand what was going to happen. The rest of the villains boil down to “Oooo I’m evil and I’m gonna do evil things to (new party member)” [treasure gets stolen] “Fuck, guess I’ll stay in bed for an entire month while the party members text eachother how worried they are for the eightieth time”.
Looking back at everything, Madarame and Kaneshiro were barely even characters. Okumura was alright because of the twist, even if I refuse to comment on his boss fight and palace design.
The worst antagonist though, by far, was Goro fucking Akechi. Jesus Christ I hated that guy. The whole plot around his betrayal was awesome and I loved it, but after that, his entire character falls apart. Like, boo hoo motherfucker. You have daddy issues so suddenly I should feel bad for a psychopathic serial killer? Gimme a break. His redemption isn’t earned and feels like a note-for-note recreation of this video. Why did the party members try to forgive him and get him on their side?? He’s like 10x worse than most of the palace rulers they’ve fought. He killed Futaba’s mother, doesn't feel any remorse, and they want to paint him as a victim? Huh?
Alright next up, the presentation - it’s incredible. Everything from the music to the menus made me feel like the biggest badass around. Like fuck yeah, I’m a phantom thief! Watch me sync the All-Out Attack with the battle music! I’ve seen some people complain about the battle system, but as a filthy turn-based enjoyer, I thought it was great. Knocking enemies down, baton-passing, activating ridiculous cinematic attacks and collecting personas was a lot of fun. It’s not the most mentally stimulating system and there’s only really two actually difficult bosses (Shadow Okumura and Azathoth), but I liked it.
I didn’t play the original P5 so I don’t exactly know what new things were added in Royal except for Yoshizawa and Maruki. All of the scenes with Yoshizawa initially felt like a Mary Sue self-insert, but the third semester made me understand why that was, and I ended up really liking her.
Maruki’s fine and his palace is one of the better ones, but his motives are kinda goofy, ngl.
So basically, I didn’t think this game was the best thing ever made, nor was it Midsona 5 + L + ratio, it was just a good game and I enjoyed it. 8/10. From what I’ve heard, I’d probably like Persona 4 even more. It’s in my backlog, but first I gotta mentally recharge with some short bing bing wahoo baby games. And also cry into my pillow a bit because Yusuke is not real and not really my friend.