The perfect videogame.

I can't think of a single flaw with this game, maybe just a nitpick regarding the lack of voice acting for optional dialogue, but I'm not illiterate and all of the main story is fully voice-acted. Also, before someone comes in here and says the dialogue is bad, pull your head out of your ass it's not that serious.

You're gonna tell me that a game with some of the hardest lines in fiction such as "You're the Sasuke to my Naruto" and take this seriously as straight dog-ass writing. You're really going to tell me straight to my face that this masterclass in (purposefully) cringe 2000's writing that makes Citizen Kane, the hack fraud, roll in his grave, BAD!? Listen up bucko, you clearly aren't as highbrow and intellectually adept as I am. I'm able to appreciate the subtlety and nuances of lines such as "...it's like how you can never be a true gamer if you only ever play on easy mode". Sit back down, so called "gamers".

Neon White is a videogame-ass videogame. I feel nothing but raw joy playing this game. It is so fun to blast through these levels and further refine your times. You don't even have to be good at games to feel like a total badass. Your lifeless corpse could be having death spasms on the keyboard and still pop off. That's not to say that the game is braindead and lacking depth, quite the contrary. You just don't need to be some sort of Gamer God Supreme to get something out of the gameplay on display. The skill floor is low enough that almost anyone can have a good time, and the skill ceiling is so high that it's a blast to keep running levels over and over again.

Back to the lifeless corpse, Neon White can cure death. If adrenaline made sound, it would be the soundtrack to Neon White. This shit slaps, FULL STOP. Start blasting this in the cemetery and see the dead rise and bust it down to the bops gracing their rotten ear holes. Just straight up one of the best soundtracks in a game, *mwah chef's kiss. And the vibes are impeccable, this game oozes in the sixth gen charm. As I said, videogame-ass videogame.

Just play this masterpiece, it is just so damn fun

Reviewed on May 13, 2024


8 Comments


15 days ago

Felt like my original review was kinda generic and didn't do Neon White Justice. so here is my new and (hopefully) improved Review Redux.
Glad you enjoyed the story, but I drew the line when they had "pog" and "no cap" lmao

15 days ago

Fantastic review, and completely agree about the dialogue slander being totally unwarranted. I feel like people took that shit way too seriously lmao

15 days ago

@NOWITSREYNTIME17 I think I may have just become numb to this kind slang after so much exposure lol

@woodoo Society isn't ready for the post ironic dystopia yet

15 days ago

Do you think they'll add Gen Alpha slang if a sequel ever comes out?

15 days ago

@G0dot The reasonable half of me say hopefully no, that might be too much. On the other hand, I really want to open up Pandora's box and see that shitpost of a script.

15 days ago

This comment was deleted

15 days ago

it's just the exact same game but instead of saying "sasuke to my naruto" yellow says "skibidi to my toilet" 💀

15 days ago

"The perfect videogame.
I can't think of a single flaw with this game"

Bold choice of wording there, i like it, great take