67 Reviews liked by Monafied


The most difficult game I've ever played, straight up. If you think Souls games are the peak of difficulty in gaming you've very obviously never played LLTQ. Eldritch beasts are absolutely nothing in comparison to trying to figure out how to get this princess to live to see her coronation. This damn game had me going mad as a kid trying to figure out what skills I needed to improve each week in order to not die, and it's choose-your-own-adventure design made it so much fun for me in spite of how frustrating it was. I have such a deep nostalgic attachment to this game that I can't really explain, I just adore it? Still, it has a ton of flaws that I would do anything to see improved. The concept alone is /brilliant/ to me and tons of fun at first, but I wish there was more variety so that repeat playthroughs attempting to beat the game don't feel like a complete dialogue-skipping slog to get through. Once you've beat it once, there's pretty much nothing that makes you feel like replaying again. A few good tweaks and adjustments to make it more entertaining upon replays would make this game a masterpiece to me.

My karma for tonight was saying "Is this among us" at every TGA trailer and then it was actually among us

Edit TGA 2022: IT FUCKING HAPPENED AGAIN

Edit TGA 2023: thank god im free

as far as games that take place in the last few synapses firing inside a dying man's brain go, this is way more family friendly than bloodborne (at least until frederic chopin starts trying to line the inside of his piano with eyes)

on the one hand, it's a true hidden gem with an amazing story and a killer soundtrack. on the other, one of your party members is a gay vampire pro wrestler whose personal sidequest involves defeating 100 diaper-wearing men named after curries at a pro-wrestling event called "The Man Festival," which ends with said gay vampire pro wrestler earning the prize of getting to bottom for the previous winner, and idk about you, but that's exactly the kind of queer representation i can get behind (dumb, horny)

features an impossibly generous depiction of a future san francisco, which is depicted as clean and technologically progressive; i guaranfuckingtee you that by 2064 the city will be a disgusting shit-scented garbage island run by ruthless mad-max style rival tribes based on their district of origin before it is inevitably destroyed by the war between soma's cannibal techno-yuppies and the mission's anarcho-queer doomsday cult. (the upper class will have long left the surface behind in the salesforce tower, which now hovers over the remains of the city, its occupants laughing and clinking glasses of champagne together as they watch the trash pyre at pacific heights burn)

Every few years or so I forget why I hated this the last time I played it and ten minutes into me trying it once again, every single time, I’m like this is just a roguelike where all you do is fucking walk and the walking also sucks and also there’s a character named goddamn ToeJam. The video game equivalent of that Nick Cave anecdote about the Red Hot Chili Peppers