Look, I can't hate this game. I just can't.

Yes, there are things that I absolutely cannot defend like the intangible floor blocks that you can only discern by throwing holy water at them or watching for skeleton enemies turning around without hitting a wall. Sure, the lack of decent boss fights suck and the horrendous localization makes the game impenetrable for people without a guide or many hours of free time on their hands.

That localization though? Absolutely amazing. A goddamned ocean of quotes that most AAA games even these days struggle to match.

"Sure, I'll take you to a good place. Heh!! Heh!! Heh!!"
"Take my daughter, please!"
"You've upset the people. Now get out of town!"

But am I here just to defend the hilariously shoddy Konami localization? Absolutely not, this game is still fun to play despite how obtuse it can be and if anything I RESPECT the fact that they tried something new instead of just making the same game but slightly better.

Is it the worst of the NES Castlevanias? Yes, undoubtedly. Is it a bad game? Fuck no, I'll fight you right now. I'll defend this damn game until the day I die, and once that happens I'll come back just to haunt everyone who still thinks it's bad.