reviewed Trojan

Capcom Classics Collection Revisits #8

Trojan is a spiritual successor to Irem-developed Kung Fu Master aka Spartan X or plain ol' Kung Fu when it was ported to NES, this was made by the same designer who left Irem for Capcom because I guess the pay was better or someone at Irem was porking his wife.

In Trojan you use a sword and shield, the sword is pretty nice to have for a bit of extra length to your attack, but the inclusion of the shield here is seriously haphazard. Blocking attacks in close quarters combat is useless, the enemies don't get stunned at all from this so it's not like they're open to counterattack or anything, and often times they swarm at you meaning that taking the time to block will just leave you open to getting crowded, and having attacks thrown at you from both directions. You're better off using your blocking for projectile attacks, at least assuming you have the TAS-like reflexes at times required to block them properly, or that the knife-throwing enemies don't throw a flashing projectile that disarms you of everything if you block said projectile. Goddamn do I love games who say "fuck you" to their own mechanics.

There is no post-hit invincibility in this game, so there will be plenty of times where you'll be minding your own business thinking you're doing well only for enemies to drain your health incredibly quickly and suddenly finding yourself back at the last checkpoint. It's so outrageously easy to get hit due to the speed of everything, and it feels like enemies sneak in hits out of nowhere even from beyond your shield and enemies respawn CONSTANTLY. It's actually easier to get all the enemies behind you and constantly jump forward to make the screen scroll quicker.

I believe when I reviewed this game last year I called it "The worst game Capcom ever made" or something, but honestly that's probably an exaggeration because at least this game is a barrel of laughs. I'd much rather play this fucking clownfest of a game than Dino Crisis 3. Christ, I'd rather play fuckin' five finger fillet than touch Dino Crisis 3. I must've been on some serious haterade when I wrote that thing.

Dumb game.

Reviewed on Jul 19, 2022


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