signalus it's an indie game
[Music]
just kidding signalus is a survival
horror indie game that Prides itself on
its narrative and deep story don't worry
I won't spoil it for you
memories
now that the snooze Fest is out of the
way let's get to the review
signalus is a survival horror indie game
in which you play as an Anime Avatar
Twitter loser's self-insert depression
anime girls the main gameplay of
signalus is running back between rooms
reading cards and doing baby puzzles the
developers of this game knew exactly
what they were doing when they made
these baby puzzles the so-called Gamers
that play this game are 30 year old
infantile man children who are still
seating at the fact that Resident Evil 4
even exists at all I think they're just
upset that they didn't get the same
Resident Evil game released over and
over again for all of eternity which is
ironic considering games like Call of
Duty receive criticism for not ever
evolving or changing their gameplay
plans speaking of never evolving
signalus offers nothing new to the genre
all of its Unique Mechanics are stolen
or watered down versions of other
mechanics from other survival horror
entries for example enemies which
respawn after being killed and using
things such as the flare are both
mechanics which were directly taken from
the re-1 Remake respawning enemies is a
really frustrating feature to deal with
survival horror is Resource Management
based and when you spend your scarce
resources to take down an enemy only for
them to come back up after returning to
the room it makes you wonder why you
even bothered wasting your ammo to kill
them in the first place instead of
simply just running away running away is
both easier and saves resources there's
another enemy which messes with your
perception fake signal as Gamers won't
remember this but a game called Eternal
Darkness did this with a mechanic called
sanity and the more your sanity meter
drain the more insane your character
would become and it would do things to
mess with the player outside of the game
such as making them think that their TVs
turned off or their save files are being
deleted
signalus developers did not have the
creativity nor the balls to do something
like this and this was done over 15
years ago on the GameCube more than
anything the gameplay is just boring
there's a reason why survival horror as
a genre has been dead you run back and
forth between rooms solving baby puzzles
quote unquote managing your inventory
getting annoyed that you couldn't pick
an item up because your inventory is
full so you run back to the Loot Crate
store your item in the chest and then go
back and pick up the item that you
needed Inventory management if you can
call it that always feels like doing
chores there's quite an easy solution
that was discovered over 20 years ago if
we simply store our essential items and
key cards which are necessary for
progression in a different type of
inventory then you can maintain a
gameplay flow without having to run back
to the storage room and place your Amma
that you don't want to waste in the
storage so you can actually pick up the
essential item that you need to progress
in the game this does not ruin any type
of resource scarcity as the resource in
and of itself is already scarce it just
saves time from running back and forth
between storage
signalus also follows the trend that
other Indie Games have followed where it
looks like pixel shit's slot that copies
what they think old games look like
older games tried their hardest to push
the hardware to its limits Indie Games
mimic this by intentionally making their
games look like [ __ ] not to mention that
this game is blatantly plagiarizing
ghosts in the Shell there's no
atmosphere it's just a shitty faked
analog aesthetic it's really really
boring if you couldn't tell how gay the
story sounded by the initial entry this
story some of the gayest [ __ ] you'll
ever hear it's about lesbian anime girls
in space who [ __ ] cares there's a
whole generation of sexually confused
speed owners out there that think that
this is deep and has meaning but guess
what it's cookie cutter every indie game
is doing this and guess what the fact
that ninety percent of the story
Exposition is written in notes guess
what that's bad have you ever heard of
show don't tell
there's a reason why this genre failed
it's because it fails to capture its
audience's attention the abstract
psychological themes this game tries to
tackle makes it come up as pretentious
instead of interesting no I don't want
to play a game about depression no I
don't want to play another indie game
about depression it's not cool it's not
unique and it's been done a thousand
times before we should take all of these
gay lesbian anime girls and blast them
all to planet Saturn where they belong
that way they can practice their speed
running routes in peace
this game also had eight years of
development it began development in 2014
and released in 2022. you'd think that
with all the development time that
they'd be able to come up with some
ideas other than blatant Nostalgia bait
if you think I'm wrong don't worry your
anger will subside along with everybody
else's when a year from now you've all
forgotten this game in the Indie slop
conveyor belt farts out on other gay
depression game signalus gets a two out
of 10. it [ __ ] sucks
I totally want to suck some black [ __ ]
just saying I'm so high
[Music]
just kidding signalus is a survival
horror indie game that Prides itself on
its narrative and deep story don't worry
I won't spoil it for you
memories
now that the snooze Fest is out of the
way let's get to the review
signalus is a survival horror indie game
in which you play as an Anime Avatar
Twitter loser's self-insert depression
anime girls the main gameplay of
signalus is running back between rooms
reading cards and doing baby puzzles the
developers of this game knew exactly
what they were doing when they made
these baby puzzles the so-called Gamers
that play this game are 30 year old
infantile man children who are still
seating at the fact that Resident Evil 4
even exists at all I think they're just
upset that they didn't get the same
Resident Evil game released over and
over again for all of eternity which is
ironic considering games like Call of
Duty receive criticism for not ever
evolving or changing their gameplay
plans speaking of never evolving
signalus offers nothing new to the genre
all of its Unique Mechanics are stolen
or watered down versions of other
mechanics from other survival horror
entries for example enemies which
respawn after being killed and using
things such as the flare are both
mechanics which were directly taken from
the re-1 Remake respawning enemies is a
really frustrating feature to deal with
survival horror is Resource Management
based and when you spend your scarce
resources to take down an enemy only for
them to come back up after returning to
the room it makes you wonder why you
even bothered wasting your ammo to kill
them in the first place instead of
simply just running away running away is
both easier and saves resources there's
another enemy which messes with your
perception fake signal as Gamers won't
remember this but a game called Eternal
Darkness did this with a mechanic called
sanity and the more your sanity meter
drain the more insane your character
would become and it would do things to
mess with the player outside of the game
such as making them think that their TVs
turned off or their save files are being
deleted
signalus developers did not have the
creativity nor the balls to do something
like this and this was done over 15
years ago on the GameCube more than
anything the gameplay is just boring
there's a reason why survival horror as
a genre has been dead you run back and
forth between rooms solving baby puzzles
quote unquote managing your inventory
getting annoyed that you couldn't pick
an item up because your inventory is
full so you run back to the Loot Crate
store your item in the chest and then go
back and pick up the item that you
needed Inventory management if you can
call it that always feels like doing
chores there's quite an easy solution
that was discovered over 20 years ago if
we simply store our essential items and
key cards which are necessary for
progression in a different type of
inventory then you can maintain a
gameplay flow without having to run back
to the storage room and place your Amma
that you don't want to waste in the
storage so you can actually pick up the
essential item that you need to progress
in the game this does not ruin any type
of resource scarcity as the resource in
and of itself is already scarce it just
saves time from running back and forth
between storage
signalus also follows the trend that
other Indie Games have followed where it
looks like pixel shit's slot that copies
what they think old games look like
older games tried their hardest to push
the hardware to its limits Indie Games
mimic this by intentionally making their
games look like [ __ ] not to mention that
this game is blatantly plagiarizing
ghosts in the Shell there's no
atmosphere it's just a shitty faked
analog aesthetic it's really really
boring if you couldn't tell how gay the
story sounded by the initial entry this
story some of the gayest [ __ ] you'll
ever hear it's about lesbian anime girls
in space who [ __ ] cares there's a
whole generation of sexually confused
speed owners out there that think that
this is deep and has meaning but guess
what it's cookie cutter every indie game
is doing this and guess what the fact
that ninety percent of the story
Exposition is written in notes guess
what that's bad have you ever heard of
show don't tell
there's a reason why this genre failed
it's because it fails to capture its
audience's attention the abstract
psychological themes this game tries to
tackle makes it come up as pretentious
instead of interesting no I don't want
to play a game about depression no I
don't want to play another indie game
about depression it's not cool it's not
unique and it's been done a thousand
times before we should take all of these
gay lesbian anime girls and blast them
all to planet Saturn where they belong
that way they can practice their speed
running routes in peace
this game also had eight years of
development it began development in 2014
and released in 2022. you'd think that
with all the development time that
they'd be able to come up with some
ideas other than blatant Nostalgia bait
if you think I'm wrong don't worry your
anger will subside along with everybody
else's when a year from now you've all
forgotten this game in the Indie slop
conveyor belt farts out on other gay
depression game signalus gets a two out
of 10. it [ __ ] sucks
I totally want to suck some black [ __ ]
just saying I'm so high