This review was written before the game released
who cares if it's not out yet? the 25-minute preview we've been shown was fucking misery-inducing. I could barely slog through 5 minutes of the preview, let alone the other 4/5ths of it. it's Justin Roiland at his most unfunny and the prospect of playing a game where both your gun and your knife never shut the fuck up is a depressing one. there wasn't a single joke that made me crack a smile - the game seems to be going for the old "keep talking and talking and talking and eventually you'll seem funny" adage except they forgot the latter part of that proverb and just kept talking into the void, ad infinitum ad nauseum. the only hook this game has going for it is "lol, wouldn't it be FUCKIN HILARIOUS if, like, you were playing a shooter, and your GUN kept talking to you???", something that would barely even be all that funny in a five-second Rick and Morty gag let alone a five-to-eight-hour game (or longer, a scary thought).
So what if the game's not out yet? It already shot itself in the foot right from the get-go, and the talking gun character probably said: "ohhhh wow, look at you buddy, yeah you, uh, you shot yourself in the foot. You literally shot yourself in the foot, look at that! Most people, you know, most people, they just-- they just metaphorically do it, right? But no, you? You literally did that. You did that, wow. You're the-- this-- this is my master now, huh? You're the guy that's gonna be using me for the next few levels! What a life. What a life I live, man. Woe is me. Ugh, whatever, c'mon, let's take the next train to Glorbaflorbia and ride the Shick-Schnell line all the way to Dergaflop. Glerpscherp's waiting for us."
If that made you laugh unironically, then... I guess this game's made for you??? Hope you enjoy the edibles that'll probably definitely come packaged with this pandering piece of shit.
So what if the game's not out yet? It already shot itself in the foot right from the get-go, and the talking gun character probably said: "ohhhh wow, look at you buddy, yeah you, uh, you shot yourself in the foot. You literally shot yourself in the foot, look at that! Most people, you know, most people, they just-- they just metaphorically do it, right? But no, you? You literally did that. You did that, wow. You're the-- this-- this is my master now, huh? You're the guy that's gonna be using me for the next few levels! What a life. What a life I live, man. Woe is me. Ugh, whatever, c'mon, let's take the next train to Glorbaflorbia and ride the Shick-Schnell line all the way to Dergaflop. Glerpscherp's waiting for us."
If that made you laugh unironically, then... I guess this game's made for you??? Hope you enjoy the edibles that'll probably definitely come packaged with this pandering piece of shit.
2 Comments
me when i'm in a dickriding contest and i'm up against a rick and morty fan
grihajedy
1 year ago