When the “Presented by SEGA” splash screen gives way to a “Powered by AM2” logo there’s a temptation to start rubbing your hands together like a Sicilian uncle being presented with a fresh Pizza Sorbillo, but don’t get it twisted - this is merely Ferrari’s attempt to go solo with its own take on the Gran Turismo spec that’s every bit as statically sexless as Sony’s series.

My favourite feature is the race narrator who politely screams “SPEED UP” at you when your car falls below a certain speed threshold, undoubtedly mandated by a slick-haired Ferrari-Pirelli representative desperate to perpetuate the idea that their vehicles have never been driven at anything less than 60mph. Between this and the “Gentlemanly Driving Mode”, it’s clear this is a functional/atmospherical antithesis to OutRun 2, playable proof that supercar owners are more interested in the status their properties bring than any attempts to to make their girlfriends cum by drifting skilfully between maori heads that mark the road to the Milky Way.

That this game’s incredibly smooth jazzfunk soundtrack has not even been uploaded to YouTube is a testament to how joyless the package that encloses it is… I would recommend you avoid this game, but I don’t think there’s any conceivable way you would encounter it in the first place.