This is the best survivors-like I've played.

I've mentioned in a few other reviews that every single "survivors-like" is better than the original for one primary reason: the art direction. The art direction of Vampire Survivors is dogwater. The music sucks, the spritework sucks, the visual effects are obnoxious. Then you've got games like 20 Minutes 'Til Dawn kicking its ass just by sticking with a simple color palette.

The overall presentation of this thing is outstanding. Not only does the art direction of Picayune Dreams actually fucking rule (thanks ANDY LAND and co.), but the game itself doesn't make me want to fall asleep, thanks to both the ability to play the game at double-speed by pressing a button to skip the brain-off-no-thoughts-to-be-found level grinding, and the bosses.

I love the bosses.

People flip-flop between calling games of this genre "survivors-like" and "bullet-heaven", and while I think both names blow tremendous amounts of ass, there's something to note about the latter. Avoiding large swaths of slow-moving pathetic, easily-dispensable hordes of enemies feels very close to a shmup game, albeit with way less required skill. Picayune Dreams goes ahead and says "here's an actual bullet-hell boss. Have fun!" And then I do.

Plus, by having an actual plot and story beatable in under 10 hours (it took me 11), there's a tangible feeling of "okay, the game is over so you can take a shower and go outside now" missing from every other survivors-like I've played up to this point.

Here's to hoping this game signals a sharp increase in quality of Vampire Survivors bullet-fart games of its ilk, because Picayune Dreams clears.

If you like these kinds of games, play this one. And then stop. This genre sucks. This one's good though.

Reviewed on Jan 27, 2024


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