i don't.... hate it?? not as much i was expecting to based on the way people talk about it at least. the problems are there and they're pretty obvious - the story and especially the character writing are at their worst in the series by far. The beginning few minutes of the game are spent "getting the band back together" which is to say completely undoing everyone's development and reducing them to the most basic caricatures of themselves. Sly goes from not wanting to be a coward with Carmelita in 3 to being like "fuck it, I actually just love stealing way too much" and just comes off like an asshole. Murray (who gets a shockingly small amount of characterization in this game) goes from not wanting to be the muscle who just punches things, REFUSING to join the gang without approval from his guru to just abandoning his spirituality and saying "Yes I fucking love punching and killing things" and remains that way for the whole game. He has a brief moment of feeling inferior to a literal caveman because he can climb a wall, but then gets over it after beating up Grizz (possibly the worst villain in the series btw). Carmelita is briefly mad at Sly for lying to her for years but just kinda gets over it, she's given the status of actual member of the gang but then does fuck all but be a damsel in distress except for like, 2 missions. There are upgrades for her that are only unlocked after you've completed her last mission in the entire game. what do i need those for man. Bentley doesn't get much except for the Penelope thing, which is a bizarre twist and while I think what they do with it is FINE, it's not really earned, and it's not a satisfying ending for her character.

To praise one thing though I don't mind the villains, they're fun enough. El Jefe is raw and Le Paradox is very hateable. I really like the Cooper ancestors, each one brings one small change to the gameplay but adding these rotating new cast members with different personalities and levels of enthusiasm kept things fresh as you're taken to each new area, which are all pretty cool in their own right.

Aside from the way the ancestors were integrated, the story is fairly lacking. It's like, fine for the most part, until the ending???? it's like the Shenmue 3 thing that everyone made fun of, when it's basically a miracle that your game even got MADE in the first place why would you not do everything with the assumption that you're never gonna get this chance again and spend the game wrapping things up in as satisfying of a way as you can. But then again, just for Thieves in Time's story to even exist it has to undo everything 3 did, and a hypothetical Sly 5 would just have to undo everything 4 did in the hopes of getting to a somewhat satisfying ending.

So maybe story-wise this game should have never even been made, ok whatever. it's at least?? kinda fun???? i think the gameplay is GOOD. it doesn't necessarily feel as tight as it has in the rest of the series and playing as anyone other than Sly is not as fun as it used to be. But once you start getting upgrades and stuff it's still a nice satisfying gameplay loop. i don't think the level design is as fun to explore and platform through as it has been, but it's still fun and looks good.

what else?? i do like this game, it's just hard thinking of any actual things it does really well. i think all the character animations look really good, they capture a lot of everyone's personality. i don't know, not much else can be said really. too many Bentley minigames. clue bottles remain Ass. it's fine!!! i wish this wasn't how the series ended though!! game might have just been doomed from the start, not to fail but to just be kinda "eh" and perform at juuuuust the right level that it ensures a sequel will never ever be made

Joe right off the bat is instantly the funniest RE protagonist, just seconds into the game being depicted as a paranoid, unreasonable old man who grabs bugs off the ground and eats them while punching shit that gets in his way. gun-free combat is kinda weird to get used to, but it's at least enjoyable and fitting for the kind of guy we're playing as, although fighting the 4-Legged Molded is a pain with Joe's moveset. Other than that, the gameplay is relatively standard and i really hated the alligator sections, it was weird making it seem like they all had to be dealt with via spears but then making you awkwardly avoid some of them by hugging the walls as you walked by.

Still, my favourite thing about this DLC is what it's able to do for the characterization of nearly everybody in the story, even after they're dead. Joe is characterized extremely well given that he's introduced just to do this one thing and then never be seen again, and his taunts and bringing up childhood stories during the final fight with Jack give it this bittersweet feeling of finality and the notion that Jack is truly gone, but that they're both kinda enjoying being able to fight as brothers one last time. Even though Zoe spends most of the time unconscious here, near the end we're given a brief glimpse of her actual thoughts on the situation once she's finally removed from the state of no-nonsense desperation she's in during the main game. She shows some vulnerability and Joe's line about the Bakers still being her family deep down reemphasizes the tragedy of the whole situation. Finding objects like a family portrait Zoe made in the 4th grade might be a little too on-the-nose with the way it tugs at your heartstrings, but it works to give the impression that they once had a close relationship. It also, surprisingly, gives a bit of characterization to Ethan who was sorely lacking it here during his first appearance. It's nothing crazy, but the idea of him telling Chris "hey, there's someone still in there" and the slight comfort both he and Zoe can take in knowing that they both survived after everything they went through together is nice.

As short as it is, it's nothing that'll change your life, but it's really good. even down to the ending notes of the credits this feels like the definitive ending to RE7 and the Dulvey Incident and a good way to cap off the game.