zeroesandones
BACKER
I was totally vibin' with this and considering it a perfectly satisfying portable Monkey Ball experience (note: I have not played the original GCN games) up until the first level of the "advanced" courses completely filtered me. If it takes 5 continues to beat Level 1-1 then I simply do not care to experience the rest of those levels!
Side note: this era of gaming gives me serious "dead mall" vibes at times. For instance, the top-level menu of this game has a dedicated Facebook icon that, when selected, tells you that its functionality, whatever that used to be, is no longer supported. Had the same experience with Touch My Katamari and its "near"-powered Buddy Plaza. Feelin' like a ghost in the machine with how many Vita features just no longer work in 2024.
Side note: this era of gaming gives me serious "dead mall" vibes at times. For instance, the top-level menu of this game has a dedicated Facebook icon that, when selected, tells you that its functionality, whatever that used to be, is no longer supported. Had the same experience with Touch My Katamari and its "near"-powered Buddy Plaza. Feelin' like a ghost in the machine with how many Vita features just no longer work in 2024.
2005
HOLD THE FORT. You mean to tell me that Tetsuya Mizuguchi and Masahiro Sakurai collaborated on a falling block puzzle game in 2006 and I'm just now finding out about it??
In short, this game rules. Sakurai brings the Melee orchestral soundfont, quirky game menus, charming art direction and scenario, and simple twist on a beloved genre that completely reinvents its gameplay. Mizuguchi brings the snappy gamefeel, reactive sound design, and overall dopamine-inducing game design. Together, they've made an addicting little time waster that's perfect as a pre-bedtime ritual.
Notably, this game is designed in such a way that I can't imagine it working on anything but the DS due to the touchscreen. Maybe a modern smartphone or even Switch port is possible, but Meteos is one of those classic victims of innovation left in the dust by the modern games industry.
In short, this game rules. Sakurai brings the Melee orchestral soundfont, quirky game menus, charming art direction and scenario, and simple twist on a beloved genre that completely reinvents its gameplay. Mizuguchi brings the snappy gamefeel, reactive sound design, and overall dopamine-inducing game design. Together, they've made an addicting little time waster that's perfect as a pre-bedtime ritual.
Notably, this game is designed in such a way that I can't imagine it working on anything but the DS due to the touchscreen. Maybe a modern smartphone or even Switch port is possible, but Meteos is one of those classic victims of innovation left in the dust by the modern games industry.
Finally checked out that Metroid Prime remake that everyone's been talking about and damn, what a bold move to whole hog genre swap it into a pinball game! ...what's that now? You're telling me everyone's been talking about a Metroid Prime remaster, not a remake? You mean this review doesn't even benefit from being topical??
Anyway, yeah, it's a retreading of Metroid Prime in the form of a pinball game. That's pretty much all there is to it. It's not really a good Metroid or a good pinball game, but it is a fascinating curio.
The most notable element of the game is its soundtrack: while every other table has background music that would be right at home in the Metroid Prime series proper (like the Tallon Overwold table for example), the Pirate Frigate table has the most out-of-place buttrock Brinstar remix with squealing guitars and girthy bass aplenty. It's even wilder on real hardware - you don't need that Rumble Pak, the reverb from the absurdly mixed snare drum hits gotchu covered baby.
And if it that Brinstar remix sounds a bit familiar, it's because it's the wackass "SAMUS IS UNDER FIRE" song from Brawl. I went 16+ years thinking that remix was a fever dream cooked up custom for Smash Bros. but nah, that's from a goddamn pinball spinoff.
Anyway, yeah, it's a retreading of Metroid Prime in the form of a pinball game. That's pretty much all there is to it. It's not really a good Metroid or a good pinball game, but it is a fascinating curio.
The most notable element of the game is its soundtrack: while every other table has background music that would be right at home in the Metroid Prime series proper (like the Tallon Overwold table for example), the Pirate Frigate table has the most out-of-place buttrock Brinstar remix with squealing guitars and girthy bass aplenty. It's even wilder on real hardware - you don't need that Rumble Pak, the reverb from the absurdly mixed snare drum hits gotchu covered baby.
And if it that Brinstar remix sounds a bit familiar, it's because it's the wackass "SAMUS IS UNDER FIRE" song from Brawl. I went 16+ years thinking that remix was a fever dream cooked up custom for Smash Bros. but nah, that's from a goddamn pinball spinoff.
2024
Great news! You too can develop a debilitating gambling addiction for only $15!
I don't think you could create a more addicting game if you tried. The pick-up-and-play element of this roguelite deckbuilder is so strong since it's based on poker, a game invented in the goddamn 1700s. For those of you keeping score at home, that's before we figured out how to synthesize cocaine.
And yet somehow, despite its simple origins, Balatro is just packed full of content. The game keeps throwing new shit at me left and right and I haven't even cleared the third stake yet. The satisfaction of making an absolutely busted deck setup is insanely gratifying, like what do you MEAN that I can score three million points by playing a single crumpled holofoil ace of spades with some red wax on it while the sound design and screen shake activate every neuron in my monkey brain. Is it legal to do that. I don't think it should be. This game needs like a Prop 65 warning or something.
Probably gonna continue playing this one until it stops having a Tetris effect (no not that one) like impact on my dreams. I woke up in a cold sweat last night because I was dealt some clubs when I needed hearts. That sounds like a metaphor for something. Hopefully Mercury isn't in retrograde or I might be in trouble. Maybe I should consult a psychic, or at least one of my goth friends who can read tarot and is a little too obsessed with astrology. Or perhaps I'm just a fool. I fold, cash me out dealer before I royal flush my life away.
Anyway good game. Don't even think about checking it out.
* Played perfectly on Ubuntu 20.04.6 via Proton 7.0-6.
I don't think you could create a more addicting game if you tried. The pick-up-and-play element of this roguelite deckbuilder is so strong since it's based on poker, a game invented in the goddamn 1700s. For those of you keeping score at home, that's before we figured out how to synthesize cocaine.
And yet somehow, despite its simple origins, Balatro is just packed full of content. The game keeps throwing new shit at me left and right and I haven't even cleared the third stake yet. The satisfaction of making an absolutely busted deck setup is insanely gratifying, like what do you MEAN that I can score three million points by playing a single crumpled holofoil ace of spades with some red wax on it while the sound design and screen shake activate every neuron in my monkey brain. Is it legal to do that. I don't think it should be. This game needs like a Prop 65 warning or something.
Probably gonna continue playing this one until it stops having a Tetris effect (no not that one) like impact on my dreams. I woke up in a cold sweat last night because I was dealt some clubs when I needed hearts. That sounds like a metaphor for something. Hopefully Mercury isn't in retrograde or I might be in trouble. Maybe I should consult a psychic, or at least one of my goth friends who can read tarot and is a little too obsessed with astrology. Or perhaps I'm just a fool. I fold, cash me out dealer before I royal flush my life away.
Anyway good game. Don't even think about checking it out.
* Played perfectly on Ubuntu 20.04.6 via Proton 7.0-6.