Deer Avenger is a parody game series spoofing Deer Hunter and redneck culture in general. The first one here is more of a general hunting sim, but with you playing as Bambo, a deer who survived getting shot and stuffed and mounted on a wall because cartoon bullshit. He's out to commit genocide on human hunters for shooting Uncle Buck or something, just general pissed off deer behavior.

Upon starting a new hunt you're presented with choosing either a slingshot, an M16 assault rifle or a bazooka, this basically is a difficulty select on choosing how many shots it takes to kill hunters. The bazooka as you'd imagine is an OHKO, the assault rifle takes a few shots and the slingshot does probably less damage than throwing the deer shit yourself at people. Yes the slingshot hurls turds, you should already know what kind of game this is by now. Next you select your location, either Connecticut, Minnesota or West Virginia. Notably Bambo remarks about "banjo-playing inbred freaks" for when you select West Virginia, just wanted to make a note of that for any West Virginian who happens to be reading this. After choosing your weapon of choice and your location, you look at the map and choose which part of the forest you want to station in. You'll need to take note on if "hunter droppings" are present, which could be either discarded pornography, empty cans of beer, or carvings in a tree stating "hunterz rool".

The game now begins and you're presented with a landscape view of the forest you are stationed in. From here, you pretty much only have two tools to draw out the hunters so you can murder them, farting and "calls". Farting I'm about 99% sure is just there to give yourself something to do while you're waiting for hunters to show up. The "calls" are basically just Bambo yelling shit like "HEY, TED NUGENT'S HERE! WHO WANTS TO MEET THE NUGE?!", or playing a recording of some chick going "Oh, baby! Boy, these woods make me horny!~". I assume they're recordings, Bambo could also be a master of mimicry for all I know. It's important for me to talk about this, because this is about 90% of what you'll be doing at least from my brief revisit to this for half an hour or so.

After about the fifth time the game becomes self-aware and Bambo talks about "how exciting" the gameplay is, and after about the thirteenth joke about siblings marrying, the game kinda starts feeling mean-spirited in multiple ways. It's weird because I came into this game ready to dunk on the entire stupidity of gun-toting nutcases who drink way too much, but now it's just...I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm not eight years old anymore and after meeting people the entire thing just comes off entirely shitty to me now, I get it's supposed to be humor...but I never laughed once while playing this. Not a single goddamn snicker, maybe a smirk at the "fart" button but that's about it.

I seriously don't fucking know why I'm writing so much about some cheapass shovelware game that was on PC game shelves at Wal-Marts in the late 90s, something just got tripped while I was replaying this thing. I guess the lesson here is that some things are worth being nostalgic about, and some things just age far worse than any crappy controlling N64 game.

Actually the game probably always sucked, let's say that.