Thunder Cross is an Action game, developed and published by Konami, which was released in 1988.
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A decent R-Type derivative horizontal shooter.
thunder my cock and cross my balls
Konami Board Meeting circa 1988
"Hey sir, we got this Not-Gradius, how should we stink up this one for the westerners?"
"I still have never forgiven Ohio. Take away the weapons, fuck up the stage order, and put in some metal gonads that explode into nigh-impossible to avoid spread/homing shots."
"A most despicable act, god I love you sir."
They hold hands for the next 15 hours and kiss passionately
"Hey sir, we got this Not-Gradius, how should we stink up this one for the westerners?"
"I still have never forgiven Ohio. Take away the weapons, fuck up the stage order, and put in some metal gonads that explode into nigh-impossible to avoid spread/homing shots."
"A most despicable act, god I love you sir."
They hold hands for the next 15 hours and kiss passionately
Believe it or not, Konami did make one or two space shooters that aren’t related to either Gradius or Parodius, but if you hadn’t heard of them before, that wouldn’t be much of a surprise. With the case of today’s subject, Thunder Cross, it is probably just because it looks like one of the most generic space shooters of all time, not just with the cover art, but also with the name itself. “Thunder Cross”. Seriously, doesn’t it sound like you have heard a title like that a million times beforehand? Nevertheless, I figured it would be a nice game to distract myself with for a little bit while scrolling through the Arcade Classics Anniversary Collection by Konami, so I went ahead and played it, and I found myself having a pretty good time. It isn’t as good or fleshed out as something like Gradius, but for what it does offer, it is familiar enough, while also putting in enough elements to where it isn’t THE most generic space shooter of all time.
The story is “Oh GOSH, a big, scary military force is attacking Earth, and only our strongest soldier and ship can stop it!”....... yeah, how many times have you heard that one before? The graphics are pretty good, while nothing too impressive, but it does its job well enough to where I have no complaints about it, the music is great, giving just the right energy and Gradius-vibes that are appropriate for this type of game, even if tracks could very easily blend in with others, the control is very solid, doing everything they need to with no real issues to speak of, and the gameplay is familiar enough to where you probably won’t be surprised by what is done, but it is still effective enough to where you will have a good time… for the most part.
The game is your typical horizontal space shooter, where you take control of a Thunder Fighter, go through a set of stages through several somewhat similar environments, take out as many enemies as you can that will appear to try to take you out, gather plenty of different kinds of power-ups and point items to assist you in your mission, and take down plenty of big bosses that will stand in your way. As mentioned earlier, this game is moreso in line with plenty of other space shooters, and not quite like something like Gradius, but there are some elements that make it stand out. From the beginning, you will have a couple of options that will be accompanying you, which you can use to shoot three shots at once, and you can gather several power-ups to upgrade your shot, giving you either missiles, lasers, or boomerang shots to shoot at your enemies. And when you gather more options to where you can shoot five different shots at once… oh man, it is extremely satisfying to say the least. That being said, it does still manage to be difficult, so it still does provide an appropriate amount of challenge (most of the time) to the point where you won’t get too easily bored.
With all that being said though, really, that is all that this game has to offer. There is nothing remotely original about this game whatsoever, and there is nothing wrong with that, but for those looking for something new from their space shooters, then you won’t really find this game to be all too exciting. It still manages to take enough familiar elements, combine them all together, and still make it fun, so I myself still had a good time with it, especially with the satisfaction that I felt when just mowing down through enemies. In terms of problems, the minor of the two issues is that some of the bosses, such as one where you go in and out of the ship you are trying to eliminate, can be pretty annoying, but it wasn’t too much of a big deal for me, and I was able to get through it with enough time and patience.
However, there was one problem that halted my progress at several points in the game, and anyone else who has played this game knows exactly what I am talking about. What I am referring to is… this MOTHERFUCKING METALLIC ORB OF DEATH. See, throughout the game, you will encounter this metallic orb enemy, who when shot, will explode into plenty of different projectiles you have to dodge. Doesn’t sound too bad at first, but then you realize that one of these projectiles is a homing shot, which will go straight towards you until you dodge it. Once again, that doesn’t sound like much of a problem, but what makes it a problem is how PRECISE this homing shot is. Trust me, it is REALLY FUCKING HARD to dodge this projectile whenever it comes to you, and most of the deaths that I suffered in this game was all dedicated to this one projectile that you will have to dodge many times. I’m not even lying when I said I was probably stuck in one part of a stage for 10 minutes, constantly reloading the same save state, just trying to dodge this one enemy’s homing shot. None of this was a dealbreaker for me, and I was able to finish the game, but I can definitely understand if others would absolutely despise this enemy, because it really doesn’t matter what you do: he will hit you.
Overall, despite being pretty simplistic, having some annoying bosses, and that FUCKING ORB OF DEATH, I still found Thunder Cross to be a good enough space shooter that was a good way of killing 30-40 minutes of time with, and I do wanna check out the sequel at some point in the future. I would recommend it for fans of Konami’s other space shooters, or just space shooters in general, but for those who aren’t really into the genre, then there isn’t too much here that you haven’t already seen before, so there is no real need to check it out. So, to end off this review, I must ask, when I get to Thunder Cross II, can we PLEASE not have to deal with any of those goddamn metallic orbs of death?.... that’s probably gonna be a no, but hey, it would be nice if they weren’t there at all.
Game #323
The story is “Oh GOSH, a big, scary military force is attacking Earth, and only our strongest soldier and ship can stop it!”....... yeah, how many times have you heard that one before? The graphics are pretty good, while nothing too impressive, but it does its job well enough to where I have no complaints about it, the music is great, giving just the right energy and Gradius-vibes that are appropriate for this type of game, even if tracks could very easily blend in with others, the control is very solid, doing everything they need to with no real issues to speak of, and the gameplay is familiar enough to where you probably won’t be surprised by what is done, but it is still effective enough to where you will have a good time… for the most part.
The game is your typical horizontal space shooter, where you take control of a Thunder Fighter, go through a set of stages through several somewhat similar environments, take out as many enemies as you can that will appear to try to take you out, gather plenty of different kinds of power-ups and point items to assist you in your mission, and take down plenty of big bosses that will stand in your way. As mentioned earlier, this game is moreso in line with plenty of other space shooters, and not quite like something like Gradius, but there are some elements that make it stand out. From the beginning, you will have a couple of options that will be accompanying you, which you can use to shoot three shots at once, and you can gather several power-ups to upgrade your shot, giving you either missiles, lasers, or boomerang shots to shoot at your enemies. And when you gather more options to where you can shoot five different shots at once… oh man, it is extremely satisfying to say the least. That being said, it does still manage to be difficult, so it still does provide an appropriate amount of challenge (most of the time) to the point where you won’t get too easily bored.
With all that being said though, really, that is all that this game has to offer. There is nothing remotely original about this game whatsoever, and there is nothing wrong with that, but for those looking for something new from their space shooters, then you won’t really find this game to be all too exciting. It still manages to take enough familiar elements, combine them all together, and still make it fun, so I myself still had a good time with it, especially with the satisfaction that I felt when just mowing down through enemies. In terms of problems, the minor of the two issues is that some of the bosses, such as one where you go in and out of the ship you are trying to eliminate, can be pretty annoying, but it wasn’t too much of a big deal for me, and I was able to get through it with enough time and patience.
However, there was one problem that halted my progress at several points in the game, and anyone else who has played this game knows exactly what I am talking about. What I am referring to is… this MOTHERFUCKING METALLIC ORB OF DEATH. See, throughout the game, you will encounter this metallic orb enemy, who when shot, will explode into plenty of different projectiles you have to dodge. Doesn’t sound too bad at first, but then you realize that one of these projectiles is a homing shot, which will go straight towards you until you dodge it. Once again, that doesn’t sound like much of a problem, but what makes it a problem is how PRECISE this homing shot is. Trust me, it is REALLY FUCKING HARD to dodge this projectile whenever it comes to you, and most of the deaths that I suffered in this game was all dedicated to this one projectile that you will have to dodge many times. I’m not even lying when I said I was probably stuck in one part of a stage for 10 minutes, constantly reloading the same save state, just trying to dodge this one enemy’s homing shot. None of this was a dealbreaker for me, and I was able to finish the game, but I can definitely understand if others would absolutely despise this enemy, because it really doesn’t matter what you do: he will hit you.
Overall, despite being pretty simplistic, having some annoying bosses, and that FUCKING ORB OF DEATH, I still found Thunder Cross to be a good enough space shooter that was a good way of killing 30-40 minutes of time with, and I do wanna check out the sequel at some point in the future. I would recommend it for fans of Konami’s other space shooters, or just space shooters in general, but for those who aren’t really into the genre, then there isn’t too much here that you haven’t already seen before, so there is no real need to check it out. So, to end off this review, I must ask, when I get to Thunder Cross II, can we PLEASE not have to deal with any of those goddamn metallic orbs of death?.... that’s probably gonna be a no, but hey, it would be nice if they weren’t there at all.
Game #323
Sometimes all it takes to bring a game down is one thing. A glitch or bug, a design flaw, something unbalanced or some bad art etc. Just one small stone from David brought down Goliath and in Thunder Cross's case that stone is one particular enemy type.
This enemy is a round metal ball that explodes when it gets near you firing projectiles or if you shoot it. One of these projectiles is some kind of homing bullet that despite using save states and trying everything to figure it out, I simply can't avoid. The ship is just too slow and no way to speed it up. I've tried flying away from it towards it, up and down to avoid it, weird patterns, anything I could. I get blown up every single time. Except when I don't, for some reason maybe 20% of these enemies that homing bullet won't home in and you can avoid it. There isn't even a rhyme or reason for why. The only way to stop them with their insane homing bullet when they do seek you out is to use your super bomb special in which you only get 3 of per level but there are always more of these enemies.
Aside from that it's a good game, looks decent, plays nice with simple power ups and a surprisingly great soundtrack. I just want to meet the person responsible for this enemy and insert a cricket bat into them horizontally to make them understand how awful that design truly is.
+ Decent looking title, came out the same year as Gradius 2 but looks much better.
+ Simple power up system, less punishing when you die.
+ Great soundtrack.
- One enemy type is just truly, truly awful.
This enemy is a round metal ball that explodes when it gets near you firing projectiles or if you shoot it. One of these projectiles is some kind of homing bullet that despite using save states and trying everything to figure it out, I simply can't avoid. The ship is just too slow and no way to speed it up. I've tried flying away from it towards it, up and down to avoid it, weird patterns, anything I could. I get blown up every single time. Except when I don't, for some reason maybe 20% of these enemies that homing bullet won't home in and you can avoid it. There isn't even a rhyme or reason for why. The only way to stop them with their insane homing bullet when they do seek you out is to use your super bomb special in which you only get 3 of per level but there are always more of these enemies.
Aside from that it's a good game, looks decent, plays nice with simple power ups and a surprisingly great soundtrack. I just want to meet the person responsible for this enemy and insert a cricket bat into them horizontally to make them understand how awful that design truly is.
+ Decent looking title, came out the same year as Gradius 2 but looks much better.
+ Simple power up system, less punishing when you die.
+ Great soundtrack.
- One enemy type is just truly, truly awful.
It's not a great shmup persay other than not having the hard limits of continues that a Gradius can, but it's a decent time. Plays with a lot of the mechanics refined later in the home ports of Life Force and Gradius III, especially the great soundtrack. I can't say I've heard too many bad 80s and 90s Konami soundtracks, though. Anyways, fine enough. Probably still would rather have Gradius.