"Yeah, I've been in love. Yeah, I've been in love... I've been in love, I mean.. that's what... yeah."
- The Hulk


This is one of these 10/10s where like, speaking as a game entirely, dunno if I'd give it a 10 but objectivity is for posers. I loved this shit for all its quirks and all, kind of like the rough headed dumbo boy at the core of this game. Game's got heart like our boy on his love quest as he grows into a young man from helping out the people in his town to prove he's a suitable boy for the girl of his dreams.

Real shit tho I would've gotten turbo filtered if I didn't fuckin use a guide so, shouts out GameFAQS.

Being young's about a lot of things y'know? Love being one of em, finding your happiness in the world and maturing into a headstrong individual in spite of all the unhappiness around you.

Also, lots and lots of hardships, especially when you're livin' in poverty like our lil guy up front. Shows up to town and just cause he's poor everyone thinks he's up to no good when he's just tryna make it. Accurate as fuck to the real world, but our main boy is idealistic in a frankly cynical world, going up and beyond to show his people that they deserve help, making bonds along the way with peeps of all walks of life.

The fact that all the Underground Residents are outsiders who are only allowed to be out at certain times despite keeping the entire infrastructure of the city going really hits home. Which is why doing the kisses is real sweet, like you’re indulging in someone else’s interest and showing them that it’s chill and people can actually like ‘em.

Game's got some heavy hittin' emotional beats too, I ended up kissing everyone (which was a cute lil way of showing the boy's solidarity with the people of his town) and for a lot of the important NPCs, their plots had lots of pretty resonant moments, shouts out to Leo and Zombie Mika especially. Bonding with the Girl's parents was cute too, also shouts out the Funny Bone City/Batayan's arc.

Other than that though, this game got vibes and chill moments for days, paying attention to everyone's schedules and catching them at different moments, bondin' over shit while you do their individual questlines. Discovering all the other weirdos living underground in squalor, reminded me of moments when I was younger having to figure out shit to do with my friends all while realizing we might've only had like 8 bucks between us, some real class solidarity goin on. Also a whole lotta real ass moments occurred like me setting my alarm an hour late and missing the bus multiple times which was a minor frustration but it totally made the goofy kid simulator even more realistic.

Totally cute talking with the Girl as the game went on, stargazing with her all while playing coy about how you gotta prove yourself to not be some dumb punk and actually a good guy, makes that ending sweet as fuck, pure lovey dovey cuteness. Would def make me cry on the right day.

Loved this lil game, all about having nothing in your life but the love in your heart as you keep goin' til you can finally find happiness.

Chulip certainly is not a perfect game. I could imagine it being incredibly draining if played on its original hardware. I could absolutely see it being frustrating to many, even with helpful tools like save states or fast forwards. I am a person easily won over by charm and style, and I do love some form of cruelty in a video game, though, so Chulip completely won me over.

I find Chulip hard to not adore. The music, sound design, art, and town designs are all absolutely stunning. Many of the kiss puzzles were very fun for me, personally. Even more sadistic ones, like the 20-year-old guy, sound terrible on paper, but I did not find them so horrible in practice. Specifically, I think Bell’s kiss was my favorite: the story of Bell and her father, the way that this story chains together with the main story, how it connects with other characters like Julie and Goro, and the gameplay mechanics employed, all made this specific portion of the game a high-point to me.

This may be a personal thing, but I like games that come with a manual that you are meant to use. I found going to my printed-out dinky manual to check off all my kisses very rewarding, and it made it possible for me to strategize where I would go and what I should do to maximize my time and save in-game currency. I think that is another one of Chulip's strongest traits. Yes, there are the on-the-surface puzzles of trying to get kisses, but figuring out your time and where you had to be made every moment of the game a more elaborate and encompassing riddle.

I think at the end of the day, you will love Chulip or you will find it tiring. I found it overwhelmingly charming. The last moments were particularly impressive and heartfelt to me in terms of presentation and how all the elements in the game stacked up for a final challenge. I just really adore how the ending section of the game looks and plays, it will stick with me for a long time. Most of all, I think I am just a sucker for when a game knows when to use gameplay and give the player direct control rather than a cutscene that you can only passively watch.

It is a game that could have been gross and torturous, but Chulip walks away charming and lovable.