Reviews from

in the past


Rei's little shitty r/malelivingspace enclosure has always had me curious about what sort of life she leads in her free time. Sadly this game made me come to the conclusion that all she really does is get told by Some Guy to go to archery class or read a book to arbitrarily make numbers go up.

Eva's videogame legacy is interesting both in how bizarrely differently they choose to adapt the show (be it AUs, sandwiching stuff in-between episodes or a weird amalgamation of the two) and how seemingly unnotorious the games are. Part of it is likely from most of them being a visual novel of some sort, but you'd assume something as widely loved as Eva would have people working around the clock to make accessible. There's a game called Neon Genesis Evangelion 2. Untranslated!! Don't you want to know what Evangelion 2 even entails? Anyway, I've heard from multiple people they'd like an Evangelion game. You know, a generic ass series recap anime game. It's strange that there aren't any "modern" ones, but there's a few that fit that description. Oddly, this is one of them,kinda.

It does go through all the Angel fights and the main plot points but you're really just Some Guy who's been assigned to take care of Rei. The story focus is still on Shinji, who you can't interact with whatsoever. Also, pretty much all of Rei's interactions with any character are completely absent from this game and not to get slanderous or anything because I do like her but.. if you take out her relationship with Gendo and Shinji, Rei is barely a character. She only hits you with the one liners and one worders, even when she starts warming up to you. Having seen Eva you know what's up with her, but ingame it really is a go queen give us nothing type deal. Doesn't bode well when the only "gameplay" is dragging icons to boxes to watch the same event cutscenes with the same dialogue over and over again to raise stats somewhat randomly. What do these stats do? Mostly nothing, I think...? There's a "pheromone" stat (no comment) which you need to raise a lot to make Rei fall in love with you (no comment) but everything else seems to be entirely in function of the multiple endings.

There's not a lot of documentation on this game, so I went mostly blind on what stats you're supposed to prioritise for your "desired result" (a png of rei playing tennis or something). Here's what I did on my 2 playthroughs, if you're interested in NOT getting these endings.

On my first playthrough, I thought I raised the stats decently high and I mostly focused on gymnastics so I assumed I'd get her playing a sport or something. She didn't fall in love with my character so come the End of Eva adaptation, I got shot and died with 0 fanfare. Cool! Credits roll. I got Rei working at Burger King. Erm..what the scallop? This is clearly positioned as the bad ending, which is awesome coming from a dev crunching a shovelware anime game for perverts, probably being paid like shit but ok whatever. As I read up online, she might have not had enough of the Self-Awareness stat, much like said developer.

I was somehow compelled to do another playthrough and this time I was real self-aware about how I spent time and money and.. Rei fell in love with me, but I never got to see most of the "in love" events which I'm somewhat thankful for but I assumed they were gonna at least kiss eventually (at least a guide vaguely implied that) and they just didn't. Come End of Eva, shot dead on sight, no ghost Rei floating over LCL, no nothing. At this point I was convinced that I'd get the bad ending again but hey look,she's a middle school teacher now because I dumped all her time into studying. Good for her.

By the title you might be wondering "what about Asuka" and yes, you can unlock Asuka (If you send Rei to school on an extremely specific day, they don't tell you this). I was excited for this mode since ON HER OWN!!! she's slightly more interesting or at least more chatty than Rei (I don't like her though.) Alas, it was much of the same, her ass simply does not want to interact with you almost at all. It might have been cool to see her spiral close to the end, but that part would likely just be extremely truncated and not playable at all (much like Rei II to Rei III was). Didn't have that dog in me, twice is enough.

If you have an Eva hyperfixation, might be worth playing once with each character but otherwise, just look up the ending CGs because they're genuinely funny. It's a little sad that I was so invested in this piece of dogshit that I beat it 2.5 times in the span of 24 hours and yet can't sit down to beat a platformer or do anything worthwhile artistically in the same amount of time. Oh well. I might be done with video games.