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5 stars = i think it's awesome
1/2 star = it personally offended me
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Favorite Games

Lost Judgment
Lost Judgment
Monster Hunter: World
Monster Hunter: World
Spyro the Dragon
Spyro the Dragon
RollerCoaster Tycoon: Deluxe
RollerCoaster Tycoon: Deluxe
Yakuza
Yakuza

208

Total Games Played

009

Played in 2024

002

Games Backloggd


Recently Played See More

Frog Ball Rerolled
Frog Ball Rerolled

Jul 23

The First Tree
The First Tree

Jul 11

Wanted: Dead
Wanted: Dead

Jul 03

Sonic Adventure 2
Sonic Adventure 2

Jun 19

Entropy: Zero
Entropy: Zero

May 03

Recently Reviewed See More

This game simply doesn't understand what makes Monkey Ball fun to the point where I wonder if the developer even played it while working on it. There's no momentum on your ball so when you let go of a movement key you stop dead in your tracks. Each of the movement keys are imbalanced in how much they affect your movement to the point where holding back actually makes you move forward. Level pacing is terrible to the point where you can have a level that requires you to hold forward the whole time next to a level where you need to do some awkward bouncing movement that you never have time to learn. Music sounds generic and uninteresting and doesn't fit with the tone of the game. I know it's probably someone's early project but it's not very good and I paid 99¢ for it so I think criticism isn't invalid. I'd just recommend emulating the original two Monkey Ball games or finding one of the million marble games that have released in the past decade instead of this.

This review contains spoilers

It's hard to talk negatively about games like this, ones with the express purpose of dumping the creator's emotions out for the world to see. It's inherently a brave thing to do but you're not immune to criticism just because it's your emotions. You can still make a bad product despite putting your heart and soul into something and I unfortunately think there's isn't a part of The First Tree that can be described as good.

The gameplay, first and foremost, is mind numbing. Nothing but running around at half the speed you should be in empty forest environments with the rare thing to dig up and the occasional light particle to collect (which at least is involved in a somewhat neat gimmick near the end). The overall lack of direction also isn't beneficial, dig sites have glowing pillars above them so you can see them from vantage points, but you never know which is gonna lead toward the end of the area/level since they're completely separated mechanics (meaning you can just run to the end of a level without interacting with anything). There's nothing interesting about the process of playing this game and with the story presented, I honestly think it might have been done better as a more interactive visual novel or a point-and-click game.

The environments are pretty at first glance (I mean that's what got me to buy the game) but when you're exploring them, the lack of definition and detail makes everything look cheap and half-assed. Some areas are pretty like the twilight lake and the deer sanctuary but the rest is boring visually beyond the thought of "oooh pretty colors". Music is also really unimpressive and I personally think it falls into the trap of being almost manipulative like in a lot of emotionally driven stories. Lots and lots of piano and strings that use typical chords that evoke sorrow and melancholy to the point of it feeling really generic and losing any sort of purpose to me personally.

I've gotta get personal when it comes to talking about the story. Everyone experiences tragedy in different ways and it's up to an individual to decide how they deal with it. I've been through something somewhat similar with my own father, he passed away almost a decade ago and I never got to fix up our relationship that fractured due to some of his personal choices in the years prior. It's still a hard thing to think about and this game internally brought out a lot of frustrations and emotions I hadn't really thought about in a while but this wasn't in the way the game was probably intending.

The entire story is just the creator of the game and who I presume to be his wife talking about their past, unfortunate relationships with their parents, mainly the man's father. It's not an uncommon topic and it's not a bad thing to write about but at the same time, everything coming out of the dude's mouth sounds whiny. A lot of his personal issues straight up stem from him getting bullied as a kid for bringing a hand-made carving from his dad to Show and Tell. I get that it's not uncommon for people to attribute gifts of love to embarrassment but to me it's the kind of thing where once you talk through what happened, it's something to laugh off and apologize for. It's a character flaw and everyone has those, but to me it feels completely obnoxious because the rest of his life is affected by it. He tries to become socially invisible and ends up with a bad crowd because of it. He gets in a fight with his dad over his career and keeping up the family business because of it (which, to be fair, he was never obligated to be a part of). He never sees him again before he dies because of it. Maybe I'm just crazy to latch onto it, maybe the irrationality of real life feels frustrating to me in a narrative sense, maybe I just completely misinterpreted it but to me this simply does. Not. Work. Add on the fact his microphone doesn't have a pop filter and picks up every lip smack and it makes him seem even more whiny to the point I was debating on muting the audio at one point despite it being the core focus of the game.

Maybe I just played this at a wrong time in my life. I might have got more out of this closer to when he passed (even though that was before the game came out). Maybe I just have difficulties in accepting other people's irrational behavior. Even with those in mind, this game simply isn't good as a game. It's not engaging nor does it do anything special except for a single thing - once you get to the first tree you can use the light particles you collected to send a message to another player with the amount of characters being determined by the light collected. I'm a sucker for player-to-player interaction in singleplayer games like that so it's the one thing that stuck out as really positive to me. Other than that, I don't really think this is worth playing since it doesn't do anything well nor does it stand out.

Probably one of the most soulful video games ever, I don't think I've been charmed by a game like this in ages. Wanted: Dead can go from being totally nuts with over the top, unbelievably satisfying action gameplay with gore and awesome body dismemberment to a cozy moment where the crew is sitting at their favorite diner just chilling and chatting to a shockingly hard rhythm minigame to an anime flashback cutscene without an explanation or a reason. Minor spoilers ahead

Now Wanted: Dead can feel a bit janky for a few reasons: no enemy lock-on, the camera has some collision issues, music with poor looping, tough gameplay on a mechanical level, a rushed final two chapters, and a story that's a bit confusing and obtuse, but I feel the love in it even in some of the bad. The lack of lock-on may seem odd at first but it makes sense with the way the levels are structured and designed makes it work. The camera may have some collision issues but tends to stay in a good spot and they've got some sick angles for the finishers (which are brutal and satisfying to do) plus it's really snappy when you're aiming your gun. The music may loop poorly at times but the OST slaps and is catchy and memorable. The game's tough but it's really rewarding once it clicks, with skills/abilities that synergize, a rallying health system like Bloodborne so aggression with your melee attacks is rewarded, personalization of your guns' stats, different partner combinations in the missions, and a good variety of tools for any situation (I think the sole skill I never made use of was the Charge Attack, and even still thinking back I could have effectively used it in several encounters)

I think the only things that I can't find much positive about are the lack of enemy variety and the final two chapters. While I think the core combat is really fun and satisfying and the overall combat encounters are well designed, there's a only like a dozen enemy types in the whole game (not counting bosses). They're all relatively simple and don't use much strategy to fight you. Melee enemies walk at you and attack with simple combos, gun enemies duck behind cover, ninja enemies slash at you and get distance after being hit to throw their kunai, big guys charge and shoot at you while throwing grenades. I think this isn't a major issue with the game since it's so short, but I still would have loved to see more enemy types in this cyberpunk world. The bosses are overall really solid though, they keep with the game's combat mantra of being punishing but you always have the tools to take care of them so none of them feel unfair

Now the final two levels, they're designed with way more enemies and combat encounters with less story to them and it's kind of obvious the budget was dwindling, leading to a clumsy rush to the end. The few present cutscenes feel very rigid and mechanical, the voice acting is generally somehow worse (with the third to last boss has some of the worst voice acting I have ever heard) and the second to last boss is just the very first one (but you fight two so it's somewhat different I guess). Even still, the game still wraps the plot up (unlike another charming, mis-maligned game D4) so there's still resolution for what main plot there is upon getting to the end. The story's definitely wishy-washy, the anime flashbacks can come out of nowhere, the final pre-credits cutscene comes out of nowhere, and there's rarely more than a sentence that explains what you'll be doing next, but I feel it's completely feasible to make all the connections required to understand what's being told

Besides the silly tone and the fun action, the minigames are another major strength to this game. I really like how they change the tone at the drop of the hat, plus they aren't just shoved in with barely any effort put into them. Target practice lets you feel how good the gunplay is on a precise level. Seeing all the various models in the crane game is really silly and it's nice to get new music for the jukebox or the noodles minigame. Karaoke, despite having a single song, has some great animation work, a high difficulty floor, and a very obvious joy put into it by the actors. The random history of noodles before the minigame had me cackling and they do a good job at adjusting it so it's different from karaoke in how it plays. The Space Harrier homage plays shockingly well and feels like it was made with a lot of care. They all feel completely random but I'm glad every single one of them is present

I think one of this game's strengths that I haven't seen talked about much is the game's ability to slow things down and show you the world. The character interactions and moments between chapters are bizarre, lengthy, and don't serve a major plot purpose and yet they stood out to me. Not for those reasons, but because they're very intimate and make the world feel more lived in. Games don't do this very often, even in ones with character-driven plots (which this one doesn't have, I couldn't even tell you what really drives the story). I feel like all of these nonsensical choices were incredibly deliberate and exactly what the developers and writers wanted even at the expense of other aspects of the game

Wanted: Dead is anything but boring. It feels like a lost PS3 game with an uncompromised vision and no corporate mismanagement. I can't say anything about the game at launch (I heard there were a ton of performance issues and people thought it was too hard) but I think the current post-patch reception is far too negative. This game is silly, extravagant, unrefined, satisfying, bizarre, and has no quality through-line and I absolutely adore it.