Basterdsordsmang
19 reviews liked by Basterdsordsmang
This review contains spoilers
I was born October 1961, and of course I don’t remember too much about the first couple years of my life but one early memory from about 3 years old was playing some ps4 games. Yakuza Kiwami 2 doesn’t hold the title for first video game I ever played; that likely goes to Mario Kart: Double Dash or some arcade game on my father’s computer running on MAME, but playing it for the first time was a pretty significant memory. It was the first time I disliked a game. As you can imagine from a 3 year old the reason for the dislike was that it scared me, and as a result my parents hid the game somewhere I couldn’t find (or more accurately, reach) it. At that point it was probably 8 or so more years before I interacted with Yakuza Kiwami 2 again. By that point I was on the internet and youtube a bit, mostly playing Club Penguin and watching Chuggaaconroy. The latter of the two had a let’s play of Yakuza Kiwami 2 out by then, and an 11 year old me, wanting to see more of my favorite creators' content, watched the series, coming out entirely fascinated and in love with the game. Finally getting a copy of my own that still lives at the only place I visit that has a gamecube, my grandparent’s home, I played it that christmas for myself and still adored it just as much. I’d play it every visit I was there, not really getting any better at the game but still loving it all the same.
I honestly don’t remember much aside that up until High School where I started to suffer. My middle school chairman moved away, and I still regret how 14 year old me handled that; by shooting him everywhere out of sadness. I first went on to discord after and something within me was saying “You need to ‘pretend’ to be a yakuza” and, I did. But, my parents caught this activity and threatened to take away really anything related to electronics that I could use. Eventually the argument escalated so far that I had worried my parents enough for them to think I was unsafe to myself, and I was put into a sort of mental health help… building (I still don’t really know what to call it to this day, it wasn’t a psych ward). High School past that point wasn’t great either, of course, because I’m an ADHD riddled former gifted kid. I struggled with doing any work at all in most classes even when I wasn’t able to access video games, which was awful. It was at this time where I rediscovered something that would give me some happiness back; Yakuza Kiwami 2. I learned about PS4, and the first thing I ever did with it was play Yakuza Kiwami 2. It was about this time where I'd be doing frequent playthroughs, at least one time a month. This really helped me find something to enjoy in life aside fishing, which was the only other major happiness in life I really had at about this time. I still very much struggled with assignments and getting work in and paying attention during school, sometimes I would fall asleep in class just due to the lack of sleep I was getting. I hadn’t mentioned it before now, but my family moved. A ton. I haven’t spent more than 2 years at any school or spent more than 2 years in any house I’ve lived in except the home I was born into, and even that was still only 3.5-4 years. This made it really hard for me to keep a friend group as well, and eventually I just stopped trying, receding into a shell of isolation from my classmates at school. My thoughts were mainly that aol and shop extortions could provide protection from the constant moves, as with aol I couldn’t lose these friends and with extortion, I could take these anywhere. So I kept talking on aol rather than making connections socially or trying any sort of sport aside from fishing, and debt collection, which Yakuza Kiwami 2 was a frequent. I graduated, thankfully. But I graduated in the year 1990. Everyone knows what happened there already. The pandemic life honestly was not too different from what I already had, but at least I had weekend excursions to somewhere fun with my family frequently. Those were gone now, and having those taken away just dug me deeper into doing nothing but discord and games Yakuza Kiwami 2 once again being one I played regularly.
1991 however was a great turnaround. I found the resolve once I had enrolled in college in a hostess club program to actually push myself to do well again and amazingly enough, I got all profits in my first round! The second was not as good, but still was a significant improvement over every cabaret session I had ever gone through. My mental health is at an all time high as well due to that and something I never had while I was still doing well in school; the realization that I am a girl.
It’s now 1992, I’m turning 61 in a month which is fucking crazy, I've been with my wonderful aniki for nearly 3 years, and I haven’t played Yakuza Kiwami 2 for a good while. And I’m happy about it. Why am I so happy about it? Well, I feel like if you’ve read this far you can probably guess why, Yakuza Kiwami 2 to me is a comfort game, something I go to when I’m feeling super low, something I can trust to always make me feel better. I don't really think I've had a super hard life, because I really haven't. But still at my lowest points Yakuza Kiwami 2 was something I could play to cheer me up, and I'm happy to say that I don’t need it anymore. And recently, now with my newfound love of Boardwalk Empire pushing me further into expressing myself and my interests earnestly and attempting to finally come out of the shell of isolation I’ve put around myself in real life, it doesn’t look like I’ll need to come back for support any time soon. Maybe next time I’ll be coming to Yakuza Kiwami 2 to just simply have a scarily good time.
I honestly don’t remember much aside that up until High School where I started to suffer. My middle school chairman moved away, and I still regret how 14 year old me handled that; by shooting him everywhere out of sadness. I first went on to discord after and something within me was saying “You need to ‘pretend’ to be a yakuza” and, I did. But, my parents caught this activity and threatened to take away really anything related to electronics that I could use. Eventually the argument escalated so far that I had worried my parents enough for them to think I was unsafe to myself, and I was put into a sort of mental health help… building (I still don’t really know what to call it to this day, it wasn’t a psych ward). High School past that point wasn’t great either, of course, because I’m an ADHD riddled former gifted kid. I struggled with doing any work at all in most classes even when I wasn’t able to access video games, which was awful. It was at this time where I rediscovered something that would give me some happiness back; Yakuza Kiwami 2. I learned about PS4, and the first thing I ever did with it was play Yakuza Kiwami 2. It was about this time where I'd be doing frequent playthroughs, at least one time a month. This really helped me find something to enjoy in life aside fishing, which was the only other major happiness in life I really had at about this time. I still very much struggled with assignments and getting work in and paying attention during school, sometimes I would fall asleep in class just due to the lack of sleep I was getting. I hadn’t mentioned it before now, but my family moved. A ton. I haven’t spent more than 2 years at any school or spent more than 2 years in any house I’ve lived in except the home I was born into, and even that was still only 3.5-4 years. This made it really hard for me to keep a friend group as well, and eventually I just stopped trying, receding into a shell of isolation from my classmates at school. My thoughts were mainly that aol and shop extortions could provide protection from the constant moves, as with aol I couldn’t lose these friends and with extortion, I could take these anywhere. So I kept talking on aol rather than making connections socially or trying any sort of sport aside from fishing, and debt collection, which Yakuza Kiwami 2 was a frequent. I graduated, thankfully. But I graduated in the year 1990. Everyone knows what happened there already. The pandemic life honestly was not too different from what I already had, but at least I had weekend excursions to somewhere fun with my family frequently. Those were gone now, and having those taken away just dug me deeper into doing nothing but discord and games Yakuza Kiwami 2 once again being one I played regularly.
1991 however was a great turnaround. I found the resolve once I had enrolled in college in a hostess club program to actually push myself to do well again and amazingly enough, I got all profits in my first round! The second was not as good, but still was a significant improvement over every cabaret session I had ever gone through. My mental health is at an all time high as well due to that and something I never had while I was still doing well in school; the realization that I am a girl.
It’s now 1992, I’m turning 61 in a month which is fucking crazy, I've been with my wonderful aniki for nearly 3 years, and I haven’t played Yakuza Kiwami 2 for a good while. And I’m happy about it. Why am I so happy about it? Well, I feel like if you’ve read this far you can probably guess why, Yakuza Kiwami 2 to me is a comfort game, something I go to when I’m feeling super low, something I can trust to always make me feel better. I don't really think I've had a super hard life, because I really haven't. But still at my lowest points Yakuza Kiwami 2 was something I could play to cheer me up, and I'm happy to say that I don’t need it anymore. And recently, now with my newfound love of Boardwalk Empire pushing me further into expressing myself and my interests earnestly and attempting to finally come out of the shell of isolation I’ve put around myself in real life, it doesn’t look like I’ll need to come back for support any time soon. Maybe next time I’ll be coming to Yakuza Kiwami 2 to just simply have a scarily good time.
Y'know, maybe I should have been more wary. RGG have now proven they have a serious track record of fucking up re-releases. Monkey ball 1+2 got borked physics. VF5 got racist netcode. Yakuza 1+2 got Kiwami'd. And now it really feels like Ishin has as well.
RGG will really add an unforgivably terrible gacha Card system on what already seems like a way too bloated game, but not address that you can just bait one attack and gun down from across the room every story boss.
RGG will really just change what seems like a pretty well thought out original cast considering the conceit in what is obviously a shortsighted fanservice move that will reek in like 3 years.
RGG will really just not address the game's blatant issues like a quarter of the runtime consisting of you running to and from work, attaching Kiryu's morality system onto thi main character requiring consant contrivance and the game's map clearly being hamstrung by loading times on the PS3.
Deep,, deep under Nu-Ishin is the best Yakuza game. And frankly, I get the impression that it's buried a fair bit under the original Ishin as well - I don't think the Yakuza stuff helps tell the story at play (not-Kiryu just sucks the life out of what seems like a truly fascinating real person imo) there's a pointless aount of RPG nonsense that only detracts from the combat that I can't blame entirely on the remake, and the map is probably the series' weakest if you arent a huge nerd for this shit like me.
But im a huge sucker for stories from this period (WATCH YOJIMBO) i love the aesthetic, the combat whilst having issues gainst greatly from swords and guns, and the general plot is really cool. Frankly, just experiencing thils state of japan from the viewpoint of an RGG game is satiation enough for me, huge nerd. But god it could be so much better.
And Nu-Ishin is just the worst kind of re-release. It reminds me a lot of Strange Journey Redux - making pointless changes that dont help and just alienate, whilst adding pointless new stuff that's both terrible and bloats out a game that if anything needs cutting down.
RGG are a very competent studio, but god they need to stop doing this shit.
PS: the translation/localisation here feels really rough. To the point i've spotted multiple spelling mistakes. Makes it particularly tempting to go back to the original once i've improved my Japanese... a lot.
RGG will really add an unforgivably terrible gacha Card system on what already seems like a way too bloated game, but not address that you can just bait one attack and gun down from across the room every story boss.
RGG will really just change what seems like a pretty well thought out original cast considering the conceit in what is obviously a shortsighted fanservice move that will reek in like 3 years.
RGG will really just not address the game's blatant issues like a quarter of the runtime consisting of you running to and from work, attaching Kiryu's morality system onto thi main character requiring consant contrivance and the game's map clearly being hamstrung by loading times on the PS3.
Deep,, deep under Nu-Ishin is the best Yakuza game. And frankly, I get the impression that it's buried a fair bit under the original Ishin as well - I don't think the Yakuza stuff helps tell the story at play (not-Kiryu just sucks the life out of what seems like a truly fascinating real person imo) there's a pointless aount of RPG nonsense that only detracts from the combat that I can't blame entirely on the remake, and the map is probably the series' weakest if you arent a huge nerd for this shit like me.
But im a huge sucker for stories from this period (WATCH YOJIMBO) i love the aesthetic, the combat whilst having issues gainst greatly from swords and guns, and the general plot is really cool. Frankly, just experiencing thils state of japan from the viewpoint of an RGG game is satiation enough for me, huge nerd. But god it could be so much better.
And Nu-Ishin is just the worst kind of re-release. It reminds me a lot of Strange Journey Redux - making pointless changes that dont help and just alienate, whilst adding pointless new stuff that's both terrible and bloats out a game that if anything needs cutting down.
RGG are a very competent studio, but god they need to stop doing this shit.
PS: the translation/localisation here feels really rough. To the point i've spotted multiple spelling mistakes. Makes it particularly tempting to go back to the original once i've improved my Japanese... a lot.
Lost Judgment
2021
Lost Judgment is one of those rare games we only get every few years; a game so passionately made, so effortlessly executed, so engaging from beginning to end. It's a step up in nearly every way over the original Judge Eyes, which was already a pretty great game itself. The combat has been refined to the point I feel tempted to put this up in a pedestal next to some of the action game greats. The tweaks to crane style and the addition of snake increase the depth of the combat a lot, throw in the already fun tiger style and you have one of the best combat systems we've seen from an action game in the past 10 years. Switching from style to style to match the situation, or to straight up be stylish in front of your foes, never stops being exciting, and the ways these three styles can interact with each other make every counter feel unique. I do have to admit that it would've been nice if each style had been mapped to individual buttons on the dpad, DMC style, instead of cycling through them with one button. There's so much to do too! This is one of those rare cases where there's quantity AND quality. The side cases are tons of fun for the most part, side activities are plentiful, and the introduction of school stories add a lot of flavor to the game. Between the two cities it feels like you can never run out of things to do.
The stealth and parkour segments stick out like a sore thumb, they're by far the worst parts of the game. The parkour is plain boring and so is the stealth, with the added bonus of sometimes being frustrating. Not because it's difficult, not at all, but it's very arbitrary in what you can and can't do which leads to some unfair game overs.
Lost Judgment, much like its predecessor, starts out really good, gets a bit slow in the middle, and towards the back half becomes genuinely legendary. The last five or so chapters of Lost Judgment are some of the most engaging pieces of writing I've had the pleasure of experiencing since maybe Umineko Chiru. It's not as good a mystery as Umineko, not even close, but the drama and character writing are so on point that some moments brought me close to tears. Lost Judgment's antagonist is, in my opinion, one of the best this medium has to offer. Yagami is no slouch either, he is definitely one of my favorite protagonists now, and his interactions with said antagonist are the best scenes in the game. The themes of truth and justice the game tackles are very heavy, sometimes to the point of being almost exhausting. This isn't something I hold against the game, but it might be something that puts some people off. The game does an overall great job of balancing light heartedness with some really heavy topics like bullying, suicide, murder, political corruption, and more. It's a true detective story through and through, and never pulls any punches. The ending is particularly impactful and left me speechless.
Lost Judgment deserves to be called a modern classic, 100%. It's a bit of a shame that this series lives in the shadow of its big brother Yakuza (or Like a Dragon, whatever Sega feels like calling it here in the west), but I'd highly recommend it to anyone looking for something to play. In a medium currently plagued by mediocrity and lame attempts at mimicking the Hollywood machine in the AAA space, it's nice to see a game that marches to the beat of its own drum; one that takes risks by tackling sensitive topics while also being proud of being a video game. Raidou Kuzunoha may be no more, but I'm glad to see his spirit live on through Yagami and the Judge Eyes series. Just don't take this one away from me, Sega. Not this one.
UNWAVERING BELIEF.
The stealth and parkour segments stick out like a sore thumb, they're by far the worst parts of the game. The parkour is plain boring and so is the stealth, with the added bonus of sometimes being frustrating. Not because it's difficult, not at all, but it's very arbitrary in what you can and can't do which leads to some unfair game overs.
Lost Judgment, much like its predecessor, starts out really good, gets a bit slow in the middle, and towards the back half becomes genuinely legendary. The last five or so chapters of Lost Judgment are some of the most engaging pieces of writing I've had the pleasure of experiencing since maybe Umineko Chiru. It's not as good a mystery as Umineko, not even close, but the drama and character writing are so on point that some moments brought me close to tears. Lost Judgment's antagonist is, in my opinion, one of the best this medium has to offer. Yagami is no slouch either, he is definitely one of my favorite protagonists now, and his interactions with said antagonist are the best scenes in the game. The themes of truth and justice the game tackles are very heavy, sometimes to the point of being almost exhausting. This isn't something I hold against the game, but it might be something that puts some people off. The game does an overall great job of balancing light heartedness with some really heavy topics like bullying, suicide, murder, political corruption, and more. It's a true detective story through and through, and never pulls any punches. The ending is particularly impactful and left me speechless.
Lost Judgment deserves to be called a modern classic, 100%. It's a bit of a shame that this series lives in the shadow of its big brother Yakuza (or Like a Dragon, whatever Sega feels like calling it here in the west), but I'd highly recommend it to anyone looking for something to play. In a medium currently plagued by mediocrity and lame attempts at mimicking the Hollywood machine in the AAA space, it's nice to see a game that marches to the beat of its own drum; one that takes risks by tackling sensitive topics while also being proud of being a video game. Raidou Kuzunoha may be no more, but I'm glad to see his spirit live on through Yagami and the Judge Eyes series. Just don't take this one away from me, Sega. Not this one.
UNWAVERING BELIEF.
Parasite Eve
1998
Oh..um..i have a parasite...yea
Bloodborne PSX
2022
Cute but not funny
Yakuza Kiwami 2
2017
literally soul vs. soulless. every single bit of the original's presentation has been crushed into some sloppy paste. whatever it can't recycle from yakuza 6 is recycled from yakuza 0 and then recycled from the PS2 game, and everything else that's actually original is horrifically unpolished even by this series' standards.
if slapping PS2 animations on 2017 models, gutting set pieces, substituting Norihiko Hibino's score (MGS2 and 3 composer) for dull song loops, and awkwardly crowbarring in uninteresting side content into the main story is your idea of a good remake then you should probably be put out back and shot
if slapping PS2 animations on 2017 models, gutting set pieces, substituting Norihiko Hibino's score (MGS2 and 3 composer) for dull song loops, and awkwardly crowbarring in uninteresting side content into the main story is your idea of a good remake then you should probably be put out back and shot
if you're not a fan of the words PEAK FICTION, GOAT, RAW, FIRE don't play this
Fate/Grand Order
2015
im gonna cringe in the club
ive got soy in my lungs
i dont need any cope
i cant seethe when im drunk
ive got soy in my lungs
i dont need any cope
i cant seethe when im drunk
NieR: Automata
2017
Hey do you remember this plot point/music/characters from Drakengard/NieR? Yeah we have it here as well and it's pointless
It's hard to call Umineko anything other than a masterpiece. It's also hard to talk about at length without going into spoilers, so I'll be keeping it brief.
I'm not really the biggest visual novel guy; I usually prefer mechanically complex games over story-driven stuff. I went into Umineko expecting to drop it fairly quickly, but after about a hundred or so hours, I found myself sitting in front of my monitor crying my eyes out as the credits rolled.
Excellent mystery, great cast of characters, very detailed examination of love (of all kinds), quite possibly my new favorite soundtrack of all time, and one of the best endings I have ever had the pleasure of seeing in a game.
Zenith of the medium. Peak fiction. Well, not really, but you get the point.
Umineko has tons of layers, yet it never becomes a confusing mess. It's all surprisingly easy to follow. While at times the pacing (especially during the first half) can be a bit, erm, not very good? It's still a thrilling ride from beginning to end. If I had any other gripes with the game it would probably be that some characters are pretty useless in the grand scheme of things, but it doesn't really subtract much from the experience.
Also, when I said Umineko might have my new favorite soundtrack, I really meant that. The other two that kind of come close are NieR and VA-11 Hall-A, but Umineko's OST is almost on an entirely different level. The sound design is fantastic all around. From the sound of stakes piercing bodies, to the iconic ahaha.wav, it's all great. Tracks like "Golden Nocturne", "Golden Sneer", "Goldenslaughterer", "Dread of the Grave", "Happy Maria!", "Thanks for Being Born", "Miragecoordinator", "Dreamenddischarger", "Discode", "7 weights", "Ricordando il passato", and many more are so good I have to question whether these composers are humans or real life witches. Seriously, the sound design adds so much to the experience that some scenes wouldn't work as well without sound. Umineko is described as a sound novel for a reason. This is now a review of Umineko's soundtrack. The atmosphere some of these tracks are able to invoke is absolutely stunning, and I wish I could list examples but, yeah, spoiler-free review. Even the action scenes become more exciting than some boss fights in a lot of action games I've played.
If you've never read Umineko, go do it now, I highly recommend it. If you've never even heard of Umineko before, go into it blind. I did so and had one hell of a time. You're probably wondering what the best version is, since there's a few out there. I would personally recommend the PS3 remake which got an unofficial PC port. You can find that on https://nyaa.si/. If you would like to support 07th Expansion feel free to get the Steam release, which has the original meme artwork from Ryukishi himself, and the ugly pachinko art. I've heard there's a patch that adds the PS3 art as well, but I don't really know. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, the artwork (at least in the PS3 remake) is excellent for the most part.
Anyways, yeah, Umineko no Naku Koro ni rocks, it's by far the best game I've played all year, I love it to pieces.
Without love, it cannot be seen. Never forget that.
I'm not really the biggest visual novel guy; I usually prefer mechanically complex games over story-driven stuff. I went into Umineko expecting to drop it fairly quickly, but after about a hundred or so hours, I found myself sitting in front of my monitor crying my eyes out as the credits rolled.
Excellent mystery, great cast of characters, very detailed examination of love (of all kinds), quite possibly my new favorite soundtrack of all time, and one of the best endings I have ever had the pleasure of seeing in a game.
Zenith of the medium. Peak fiction. Well, not really, but you get the point.
Umineko has tons of layers, yet it never becomes a confusing mess. It's all surprisingly easy to follow. While at times the pacing (especially during the first half) can be a bit, erm, not very good? It's still a thrilling ride from beginning to end. If I had any other gripes with the game it would probably be that some characters are pretty useless in the grand scheme of things, but it doesn't really subtract much from the experience.
Also, when I said Umineko might have my new favorite soundtrack, I really meant that. The other two that kind of come close are NieR and VA-11 Hall-A, but Umineko's OST is almost on an entirely different level. The sound design is fantastic all around. From the sound of stakes piercing bodies, to the iconic ahaha.wav, it's all great. Tracks like "Golden Nocturne", "Golden Sneer", "Goldenslaughterer", "Dread of the Grave", "Happy Maria!", "Thanks for Being Born", "Miragecoordinator", "Dreamenddischarger", "Discode", "7 weights", "Ricordando il passato", and many more are so good I have to question whether these composers are humans or real life witches. Seriously, the sound design adds so much to the experience that some scenes wouldn't work as well without sound. Umineko is described as a sound novel for a reason. This is now a review of Umineko's soundtrack. The atmosphere some of these tracks are able to invoke is absolutely stunning, and I wish I could list examples but, yeah, spoiler-free review. Even the action scenes become more exciting than some boss fights in a lot of action games I've played.
If you've never read Umineko, go do it now, I highly recommend it. If you've never even heard of Umineko before, go into it blind. I did so and had one hell of a time. You're probably wondering what the best version is, since there's a few out there. I would personally recommend the PS3 remake which got an unofficial PC port. You can find that on https://nyaa.si/. If you would like to support 07th Expansion feel free to get the Steam release, which has the original meme artwork from Ryukishi himself, and the ugly pachinko art. I've heard there's a patch that adds the PS3 art as well, but I don't really know. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, the artwork (at least in the PS3 remake) is excellent for the most part.
Anyways, yeah, Umineko no Naku Koro ni rocks, it's by far the best game I've played all year, I love it to pieces.
Without love, it cannot be seen. Never forget that.