Even though I think this is only marginally worse than the highly praised Hitman: Blood Money, it's interesting to look back on a time in gaming where so frequently franchises asked themselves: "What makes our games not only work, but really stand apart from the pack?" and then proceed to absolutely fucking break them lmao. Takes almost everything that makes the Hitman series what it is and turns them cheap and un-fun; every so often you'll get a couple levels reminiscent of the IP until you're immediately reminded of its completely nonfunctional disguise system or some of the most heinously butt-ugly cutscenes ever put into a video game (including but not limited to Agent 47's worst design ever, his face looks like a bad bowl of bread pudding). I'll cop to having fun navigating its bizarre collection of levels in fits and starts (being able to knock out like 150 people in a bar for some reason being a highlight) and its voice cast is totally innocent - including Traci Lords and totally unhinged Keith Carradine + Powers Boothe. But so often its mechanics and rules are just godawful, and its equally terrible story betrays everything this series/character is. So it's just too much crap to justify a little dumb fun in the end.

A technological feat on the 3DS, on all other systems it's just okay. Honestly thought this was better than Resident Evil 4 until I deeply familiarized myself with Raid Mode, where it became apparent that a game fit with bullshit 100-0 capable instakills and a clunky, outdated movement system doesn't really work with an unconscionably grindy RNG-fest looter shooter that rips off fucking Borderlands, of all games. This story is also the worst of the series so far imo, as if they honest to God didn't even try. Still, the Queen Zenobia is equal parts cool and creepy to explore - and it's nice to see Jill and Chris back in action. I even kinda dig the diet ZOMBI scanner thingy! Not to mention the enemies in here really highlight the series' strength of pitting beauty up against the most grotesque, merciless warping of human/animal flesh you've ever seen - there are walking melted blobs, enemies with a fleshy crossbow rotted into their arm, decaying wolves, even a fat beast with one humanoid head and one massive lamprey-like mouth that pukes toothed bear traps and has a motherfucking chainsaw arm. Pretty sick! I just wish there weren't only... like three colors between all of them.