A half decent pit of ideas blatantly stolen from other games cobbled together into a survival game based mess. Coming from a developer who is openly and aggressively into making AI the future of everything, jerking themselves off while doing so. Nothing about this game is original, even down to the shitty clashing artstyles evoking a kind of "Nintendo Hire This Man" aura. There's no life, no charm, and god forbid any sort of reason to pick this game up.

If you get it, you're better off getting other games. If you want to spite Nintendo, congrats you're not buying their games anyway so why bother buying this one instead? If you're staying away because you were educated on what the fuck is going on behind the scenes? Good, stay away.

There's nothing good or interesting about this game and it should be treated as it truly is: A soulless cash grab made by a handful of AI bros. If the trailer wasn't widely circulated, nobody would buy it and nobody would give a shit about it. Good timing for bad circumstances.

I mean it's Huniepop but a clicker, so I'm gonna say from the outset two things.

1: No this is not as good as Huniepop 1 or 2, for many many reasons.
2: I wouldn't go and say it's a porn game. It's more like a fuck up your wrist simulator.

If you see someone playing it and assume they're beating off, I guarantee you they aren't. They're either mashing the shit out of their left mouse button or have the game paused as they go put their wrists on ice. There is no chance to watch or see any lewd things, no chance to beat off. There's only pain and suffering, and it's not even the good kind ya sick freak.

It's a goddamn shame that Valve has decided to make Portal and it's science heavy setting into their defacto "Test Our Software" game series now. I mean it's been 13 years since the last new game that tries to capture what Portal is as a puzzle game. Instead, we've gotten The Lab, a tech demo with all sorts of stuff to show off vr, and this, a 30 minute experience to get you to be aware of what the Steam Deck can do.

The good news is that everything here is still remarkably Portal. The writing, the comedy, the look, the lore, it's all there and it's borderline necessary if you want to go out of your way to know every inch of officially released material like an encyclopedia.

Gameplay wise it's also shockingly in depth to go over all the stuff the Steam Deck can do while still being a fun game, vs The Lab which is mostly just a bunch of fun experiences that require you to be in vr for them. Nothing particularly groundbreaking, nothing incredible, but the jump from Valve making The Lab to making Half Life Alyx did a very good job of telling them to make video games to show off tech stuff over just tech demos that do the job in a familiar setting.

If there's anything I want to bury into your mind through reading these reviews, it's that for the most part a simple concept executed amazingly will always trump an ambitious concept treated halfheartedly. And Jamestown is no exception.

It's a SHMUP, which is something that's honestly rare outside of the Touhou series nowadays. It's got a stellar art style, a very good if short story, enough ship variation to keep things interesting, and enough difficulty states to both let you relax and go your own pace while also pushing you to slowly creep up to that peak difficulty level.

It's good on your own, like really REALLY good. But if you can get a few friends together to huddle around your computer like a bunch of cultist gremlins worshiping some sort of evil god, you will have a fucking blast with this game. I'm certain.

The writing and lore is pretty good, the game looks and sounds great. But my god is it the most Mid roguelike there is. Runs either end right when they're getting good or end too soon at all, floor variation isn't nearly as wide as you'd think it should be, enemies don't scale with completion they stay the same the entire time, and 100% completion is locked behind beating that same identical tower 12ish times while fighting the same 9 generic enemies and 4 bosses again and again.

There's a whole lot of potential here. Enemies could have modifiers, floors could start meshing together, the tower could get bigger, the main story could last longer than FINISH ONE RUN. The color chips are fun, buying new subs and specials are great, and I'm absolutely still going to beat it with every weapon because goddamn it am I invested in those lesbians and Acht's story.

But gameplay wise my god does it need more.

"An incredibly fun if slightly limited RTS third person shooter published by Nintendo" sounds exactly like something that doesn't exist outside of maybe the Starfox series, but here Battalion Wars goes proving that wrong in spades.

It's super good, all around. The music, the missions, the units, the variations, it's all really really good. There's a handful of exceptions of course, Air Superiority is in full force but that's a major thing in real military conflict, the vehicles are some of the worst controlling things I've ever had to play with including rough steering and physics that are either too heavy or WAY too light, and some units just bluntly outclass all other types such as Assault vets who's machine guns can mow down every infantry unit and some vehicles and emplacements with ease. But all in all, it's pretty great.

Huge kudos to the near blatant WW1/WW2 era Germany antagonist nation fused with Transylvanian vampires that are the revival of the undead warmonger empire of pure unbridled nothing held back Nazi references for 2 of the last four missions. This game is fucking wild and it takes itself completely seriously and I'm all here for it.

Alright, let's get this out of the way. The only way you're playing this game is random matchmaking online multiplayer. And let me tell you the community that gets super into this game is 7 different grades of pure saturated dog ass when it comes to people skills. You'll hear all sorts of "colorful" commentary on all sorts of subjects all while those people happily inform you that you're terrible at the game while they're running 0/10/1. This is an unavoidable fact of life when you play CS2.

But past that, after muting the ingame voice chat and trying your damn hardest to ignore the text chat that you can't disable for god knows why, this game is a fucking blast if you can get a group of friends together to fuck around in it. The strategy and the figuring out how the hell to do certain things, figuring out the guns you like, blowing thousands of dollars for skins that will give you the fleeting hit of dopamine to keep going in life for whatever reason, it's all here and it's all done pretty damn well. A lovely balance for some of the most toxic vile shit I've heard and read outside of a League of Legends lobby.

Look. I love the original Metroid Prime. Adore it to bits. And I always thought it was downright beautiful even with it's gamecube polygon goodness. The textures were low quality but the vibes and aura is what made it.

But I'd be a damn hypocrite if I said this didn't make the original game look bad in comparison. The original game is fantastic. All the points still stand regarding the original game's tone and aura. But let me tell you that this game is beautiful.

Probably not $40 beautiful more like $20 or $30 without the other two games in the trilogy or Prime 4 nowhere to be seen for 6 years now but hey we're not talking about the stuff outside of the game that makes me irrationally depressed, ok bestie? Alright.

I've played this game so many times since my first playthrough all the way back when I was a kid. And I've played dozens of games since. I've got a collective steam library 1000+ games strong. And let me tell you there has never. EVER. Been a game that plays as fluid, as fun, and as varied as this one.

I'll probably never see a game like it again in my life. I know that for a fact. I've begged and pleaded for something like it for my entire life, from kid to adult. Haven't gotten it. Still haven't. Probably won't. But let me tell you when I say that I don't really need it as much as I beg and plead for it. Because I have it already. And that's all I really need from it.

Very cute, adorable dog game. If you've got nothing better to do and wanna quickly have a good time doing the exact opposite of what you're supposed to do irl, the game is for you. There's not a ton of game here, but there doesn't have to be. It's a cute little game for cute little guys and gals and nonbinary pals who just want to be a mischievous lil doggo.

What else is there to say? It's free, you can beat it in like an hour, why are you even reading reviews? Just get it.

Just be warned the controller controls are a little finicky and you're probably going to have to figure out how to change the language settings.

It's the first MMO I really got into and I'm happy it's been redone by fans again.

Great little experience, lots of fun stuff to do, incentives to stop playing rather than playing for longer, and the entire game is free. I really recommend it.

If you've got a group of people hunting for a new MMO to play after getting burnt out on FANTASY WORLD or FANTASY WORLD or even FANTASY WORLD, BUT WITH GUNS then feel free to dawn a mask and be a hero or a villain for a while. It's free and a fun time even in a world where the original release is a cool TWO DECADES OLD.

Ok, let's just get this out of the way. It's a porn game. It's a porn game with a lot of animated pixels moving in a very erotic fashion with the goal to make the viewer aroused. It's a porn game.

But if you can put the porn aside (which is very hard ((pun not intended)) because there are tits EVERYWHERE in this game), it's a fantastic metroidvania. Genuinely might be one of the best. The difficulty purely rests in how well you play the game and how much you're willing to go through and 100% it, the different items present a new way to beat bosses if you don't just want to button mash the bosses to death, the backtracking isn't too evil, and there's never a portion where it feels like you're stuck doing the exact same thing for 3 hours because save points are plentiful and your healing is absurdly generous. Actually a really fun game to 100% and I could see it being a blast for people to pick up and speedrun.

Just wish there wasn't so much sex in this game, that way I can play it without having to worry about all my friends giving me weird glances when I boot it up....

I want you to understand that barring Meta elements, Helldivers 2 deserves 5 Stars. As a game it's so fucking chaotic in every way, from it's world building and it's locations and it's presentation and it's gameplay, it's genuinely a blast every single time I pick it up and play it.

At the moment, however, I'm only really comfortable rating it 4 because the current meta for most things feels kind of claustrophobic. Especially in range of "Stratagems you can use to kill hives/factories". If you don't have someone willing to carry the 500kg bomb during the mission it's leaps and bounds different from if you do. And that's just because "Oh there's a problem. Throw the 500KG bomb and let's get out of here." is a perfectly valid strategy at that point.

There's also the issue of enemy variety being super limited, pretty sure from all my playing there's less than 10 types of enemies the game can throw at you max, maybe 12, and that's cut in half because the only two factions are bugs (Easy outside of the big ones) and Automatons (They will all kill you if you stop to breathe). So I hope you enjoy fighting the massive swarms of identical enemies with supporting "Bigger guys who are harder to take out" and "Dudes that have a ranged attack that will either fuck you up or instantly kill you dead". More variety in what you can blow up is absolutely necessary.

There's also the issue of needing more armor types and what those armors can do. Armors all look pretty good but statwise they all roam around the same 5/6 additional effects that lead them to feel pretty similar. The progression is pretty grind heavy too, so unless you're prepped to play this game every day and throw yourself into identical mission again and again you're really not ready to see how long it'll take for you to get a kit that feels visually and mechanically distinct from the 3 other friends you're dragging around screaming into the game. Especially if you're all going in from a fresh save file and trying to keep pace with one another.

Again, don't let this dissuade you, Helldivers 2 is a fucking fantastic masterpiece of a game right now and the way that the game feels is great, the way the devs and the community are interacting is hilarious, and the way the game is being paced is really really good. But on the other hand it really feels like this game screams Animal Crossing: New Horizons: Hyper grindy early game/mid game, by the time you get to the end game you're either devoted to it or burnt the fuck out of it, and realistically there's so little here that it's relying on future content updates to keep it's audience attracted and entertained. It's just a matter of who wins: The speed of development or the declining attention span of the game's ideal recurring player base in a year of gaming that feels like it's industry as a whole is repeatedly swinging home runs at the wallets of gamers all around the world.