The series as a whole ends up meaning more to me as years go on. My feelings on it can be reflected honestly entirely by how I look at the first title. The personal journey started with me when I was 12 and had a heartful powerful time, then a late high school set of irony poisoning set my sentiments towards it back, followed by years of cynicism and a rampant fervor of 'kh is cringe' adoption. Remarkably similar to my Sonic adolescence really.
The rekindling to talk about it now is almost a petty one even, sparked from a very disgusting dismissive argumentation that sent me spiraling down a set of familiar dead end corridors. But I choose to talk so now with earnest love, because the silver lining is that I did find further re-evaluation, and another reason to love this game the way I do now.
I want to start on its most ethereal edge, that preteen mysticism and awkward conversation we had with others during that time. I think it's KH1's least praised talking point, the way these characters all act almost in their own worlds and open up to each other in stilted but earnest paths. I love it so much, and moreso even in terms of the subtle but absolutely present queer coding I keep thinking about. Initially the way Riku acts towards Sora is one I thought of as an embittered friend, giving a paopu fruit to Sora and sort of egging him on, and then growing detached when he finds Sora switches him out for other people. What I didn't realize until maybe even up to recently is how much that feeling is empowered when you take Riku's eyes as someone who had a childlike passion for Sora, wanting to personally share that paopu fruit with him (not even mentioning Kairi in the scene btw) and then seeing that love practically betrayed when it feels like Sora completely forgot about him. There's a clear obsession there, the way he practically tries to prove himself with his edge to Sora, fueling his isolation further and further and dropping into darkness when he finds himself walled off more by his actions. Sure it's maybe an overtly charitable read of a preteen relationship, but it's something that grows retrospectively stronger considering how more boys love and gay the series goes from here, with themes of identity, true emotions of the heart... further emphasis on how much Riku revolves around Sora.
On more tangible ground though there's still so much to appreciate, especially in regards to the series how this is really the only entry to embrace that early PS2 platformer fantasy, with worlds you go through really reflecting their unique vibes, levels less acting like combat justified corridors and really their own memorable extensions. It also highlights my only real incriminating issue, p much my personal beef with how much of a chore a lot of them are to navigate and do very standard aerial string combat in, to where I don't really have any recurring thoughts to replay because they die to this issue quickly. But the fact of the matter is KH1 feels so strongly alive and only propels Sora's fall into a twisted hero's journey in ways I so vividly recall with pinpoint accuracy to this day. Hollow Bastion is still one of the best handcrafted worlds I've ever seen and experienced and that will maybe never go away. The bosses are all just grand designs too, and while they're not all fun to fight they almost all are perfect creations that are so super cool and distinct.
I do want to end this looping back to that toxic verse that started this late night's boulder rolling though, I think there's some sort of propensity to reject this age's prepubescent thoughts and emotions. Some people look on the complex beast that KH ends up being from the outset, look upon the heavy darkness term usage in later entries, see the plot machinations for just the constructs alone and throw them out of the face of it. And I don't think they're entirely not valid, but I think the series more than finds a way to demonstrating what the Heart is, and life, because it's not a crazy thought to think that the only way to open up who we really are is going to be in a messy smorgasbord of dreamlike avenues. Tonight I seek to reclaim KH as the earnest preteen dive it really is, and the series as a whole for the threads we made upon that foundation.
The rekindling to talk about it now is almost a petty one even, sparked from a very disgusting dismissive argumentation that sent me spiraling down a set of familiar dead end corridors. But I choose to talk so now with earnest love, because the silver lining is that I did find further re-evaluation, and another reason to love this game the way I do now.
I want to start on its most ethereal edge, that preteen mysticism and awkward conversation we had with others during that time. I think it's KH1's least praised talking point, the way these characters all act almost in their own worlds and open up to each other in stilted but earnest paths. I love it so much, and moreso even in terms of the subtle but absolutely present queer coding I keep thinking about. Initially the way Riku acts towards Sora is one I thought of as an embittered friend, giving a paopu fruit to Sora and sort of egging him on, and then growing detached when he finds Sora switches him out for other people. What I didn't realize until maybe even up to recently is how much that feeling is empowered when you take Riku's eyes as someone who had a childlike passion for Sora, wanting to personally share that paopu fruit with him (not even mentioning Kairi in the scene btw) and then seeing that love practically betrayed when it feels like Sora completely forgot about him. There's a clear obsession there, the way he practically tries to prove himself with his edge to Sora, fueling his isolation further and further and dropping into darkness when he finds himself walled off more by his actions. Sure it's maybe an overtly charitable read of a preteen relationship, but it's something that grows retrospectively stronger considering how more boys love and gay the series goes from here, with themes of identity, true emotions of the heart... further emphasis on how much Riku revolves around Sora.
On more tangible ground though there's still so much to appreciate, especially in regards to the series how this is really the only entry to embrace that early PS2 platformer fantasy, with worlds you go through really reflecting their unique vibes, levels less acting like combat justified corridors and really their own memorable extensions. It also highlights my only real incriminating issue, p much my personal beef with how much of a chore a lot of them are to navigate and do very standard aerial string combat in, to where I don't really have any recurring thoughts to replay because they die to this issue quickly. But the fact of the matter is KH1 feels so strongly alive and only propels Sora's fall into a twisted hero's journey in ways I so vividly recall with pinpoint accuracy to this day. Hollow Bastion is still one of the best handcrafted worlds I've ever seen and experienced and that will maybe never go away. The bosses are all just grand designs too, and while they're not all fun to fight they almost all are perfect creations that are so super cool and distinct.
I do want to end this looping back to that toxic verse that started this late night's boulder rolling though, I think there's some sort of propensity to reject this age's prepubescent thoughts and emotions. Some people look on the complex beast that KH ends up being from the outset, look upon the heavy darkness term usage in later entries, see the plot machinations for just the constructs alone and throw them out of the face of it. And I don't think they're entirely not valid, but I think the series more than finds a way to demonstrating what the Heart is, and life, because it's not a crazy thought to think that the only way to open up who we really are is going to be in a messy smorgasbord of dreamlike avenues. Tonight I seek to reclaim KH as the earnest preteen dive it really is, and the series as a whole for the threads we made upon that foundation.
7 Comments
I didn't play this game as a kid and don't have the same emotional connection with it but I do feel almost exactly the same about certain other games from back then so your review really resonated with me. Great stuff!
I loved this
Couldn’t have said it better, wonderful write up!
Kind of been chewing on this since I got up this morning and I think something that’s easy to forget, especially for people who might be younger or less inclined to read media critically beyond like YouTube essay guy film critique levels of “this is amateurish” or “this is generic” (what do these things even mean?), or who might not be interested in older media in general or in connecting this stuff to the culture of the day that it was formed in, is that like, it is often unreasonable to expect or to ask a thing like Kingdom Hearts to be explicitly queer.
Disney wouldn’t let it happen, Square wouldn’t let it happen, not today and DEFINITELY not in 2002. I just finished watching Magic Knight Rayearth which is an UNDENIABLY gay show about queer teens wrestling with society’s expectation for them to let go of sexual and romantic love for other women as they transition into adulthood and complicating their feelings with other aspects of queerness but none of that was allowed to be explicitly stated on kid’s tv in 1994. Doesn’t mean it’s not there and not the intention.
And even if it’s not the clear intention in kingdom hearts like it is with so many other things, this is what death of the author is. It doesn’t matter what Nomura or his boss or the suits at Disney think these relationships are, the fact is that Riku and Sora spoke to thousands and thousands of people who found something real and reflective in those interactions. It doesn’t matter if the writing reads to you as less characterful, it doesn’t matter if you think the direction is amateurish, it doesn’t matter if you think the acting is stilted. It’s there, because it’s there for so many people.
To say something like “I’ll stop waiting around for kingdom hearts to pay off something that will never happen and go watch something with actual gay representation instead” is missing the point entirely. I hate representation lol. Representation is as often a tool of the powerful to integrate the people who thirst for representation into the systems that oppress them in a toothless, safe way that doesn’t threaten those systems. The goal of having someone with an undercut in a marvel movie is to sand down everything that is powerful and scary and oppositional about being queer. I hate it. It can’t save us. It’s not the end goal.
I have a friend who talks a lot, and I agree with her, about queer resonance over representation. I feel more strongly that Sora and Riku encapsulate relationships I had with dudes when I was presenting that way than any actual gay shit I’ve seen in a mainstream game. They resonate. Obviously I’m not alone in this!!
So I definitely agree with all of your sentiments here obviously. KH is a more than worthy foundational text for thousands of queers out there and to dismiss it on shallow grounds reeks of rank cynicism and that’s something I just don’t have time for at this point in my life.
Disney wouldn’t let it happen, Square wouldn’t let it happen, not today and DEFINITELY not in 2002. I just finished watching Magic Knight Rayearth which is an UNDENIABLY gay show about queer teens wrestling with society’s expectation for them to let go of sexual and romantic love for other women as they transition into adulthood and complicating their feelings with other aspects of queerness but none of that was allowed to be explicitly stated on kid’s tv in 1994. Doesn’t mean it’s not there and not the intention.
And even if it’s not the clear intention in kingdom hearts like it is with so many other things, this is what death of the author is. It doesn’t matter what Nomura or his boss or the suits at Disney think these relationships are, the fact is that Riku and Sora spoke to thousands and thousands of people who found something real and reflective in those interactions. It doesn’t matter if the writing reads to you as less characterful, it doesn’t matter if you think the direction is amateurish, it doesn’t matter if you think the acting is stilted. It’s there, because it’s there for so many people.
To say something like “I’ll stop waiting around for kingdom hearts to pay off something that will never happen and go watch something with actual gay representation instead” is missing the point entirely. I hate representation lol. Representation is as often a tool of the powerful to integrate the people who thirst for representation into the systems that oppress them in a toothless, safe way that doesn’t threaten those systems. The goal of having someone with an undercut in a marvel movie is to sand down everything that is powerful and scary and oppositional about being queer. I hate it. It can’t save us. It’s not the end goal.
I have a friend who talks a lot, and I agree with her, about queer resonance over representation. I feel more strongly that Sora and Riku encapsulate relationships I had with dudes when I was presenting that way than any actual gay shit I’ve seen in a mainstream game. They resonate. Obviously I’m not alone in this!!
So I definitely agree with all of your sentiments here obviously. KH is a more than worthy foundational text for thousands of queers out there and to dismiss it on shallow grounds reeks of rank cynicism and that’s something I just don’t have time for at this point in my life.
Thank you all ;-; fully agree with your thoughts @wowgoodname, appreciate all of this
I enjoyed reading yours and @wowgoodname's thoughts on Kingdom Hearts, and while I am speaking more broadly, it absolutely coalesces with what the games are centrally about: allowing/finding genuine connections of the heart, to others and to even media (like KH itself! these are fictional characters but we find so much in them!), as ubiquitous and personal as that is. There's a reason these games mean so much to so many, as an accessible foundation, as both of you have expressed! And I will always enjoy reading the various meanings people take from these games, from identity to wrestling with mental health to a hundred more. A good friend of mine grew up with the series and it has formed a part of who he is, for his personal reasons, and that's wonderful. Clearly, KH has this power with people--it's doing something right! The "cynics" are probably the most closed off and have no place with this series. It doesn't and won't ever appeal to them. It's not for them.
Sorry if I have repeated ideas already said but I also am a bit tired with the usual slights against KH!!
Sorry if I have repeated ideas already said but I also am a bit tired with the usual slights against KH!!
Baka_Ouji
2 years ago