Mullon
BACKER
Elizabeth is the best dancer among all three casts and I will fight everyone on this.
EDIT: I want to elaborate on this. The top ten dancers across the three games are:
1. Elizabeth
2. Yosuke Hanamura
3. Theodore
4. Yu Narukami
5. Mitsuru Kirijo
6. Naoto Shiragame
7. Junpei Iori
8. Ken Amada
9. Futaba Sakura
10. Yusuke Kitagawa
EDIT: I want to elaborate on this. The top ten dancers across the three games are:
1. Elizabeth
2. Yosuke Hanamura
3. Theodore
4. Yu Narukami
5. Mitsuru Kirijo
6. Naoto Shiragame
7. Junpei Iori
8. Ken Amada
9. Futaba Sakura
10. Yusuke Kitagawa
1996
If this cabinet was built everywhere, put in schools and gyms, no kid would be out of shape.
I keep telling myself that someday I'll write something about early Simpsons tie-in material and how they had to extrapolate or make up stuff based on what little canonical information they had. This game is a perfect example. Imagine how weird it would be now to say that Mr. Burns has a brother, and that he runs a mere summer camp, the dissonance would make your eyes cross.
Anyway, this was the only game I needed a Game Genie to complete, and it wasn't because I was lazy. But it's been so long since I played it that I don't think it would be fair to rate it.
Anyway, this was the only game I needed a Game Genie to complete, and it wasn't because I was lazy. But it's been so long since I played it that I don't think it would be fair to rate it.
This review contains spoilers
How do I justify giving a game I put over a hundred hours in a measly three stars? The combat is crap, you button mash through hundreds of enemies who do nothing and might as well not be there just to reach a sponge that takes forever to chip away at. The map has so many collection sidequests to do, but after I did them all it was unsatisfying. But the thing is, I really like the story. I thought it was just going to be the backstory we already saw in Breath of the Wild, but then time travel changes the whole thing and makes the story really good. I especially like how it became Zelda's story after the first third, she really comes into her own.
This is the game from my childhood and it still holds up as a fun exploring/collecting thing. But with the years gone by the novelty has worn off and all the backtracking and especially switching around beams to open different doors and kill specific enemies is a lot more tedious. The improved graphics are undercut by me not being able to see anything because it's too dark.
This wasn't a good game, this was a shitty movie.
2023
It's okay. While the fishing seems important at first, it quickly becomes apparent it's just a way to get you to move around the map, upgrade your equipment, and complete quests. If you looking for an in depth fishing simulator that just happens to be Lovecraftian you will be disappointed, it's really just an adventure game with some light puzzles.
2014
I really liked this one, it's not often you see an adventure game period piece with what I assume is a degree of historical accuracy. I learned about Florida housing development, and none of the puzzles were that frustrating.
The most diverse and therefore morally superior dating sim on the market.
2019
Let me tell you what led to me abandoning this game.
I was only a few hours in, on the first world. The game was divided into different worlds instead of one map, which discouraged exploration, and this map was basically a circle with a town on one part and a commune on a different part. The town was a company town run by an evil businessman and the commune was run by a nice hippie. I was at the part of the quest where I convince the employees to abandon the abusive company and go live on the commune. As I was walking back to the commune I kept thinking "I bet there's some dark secret about the hippie lady that's going to be revealed and make the choice not so black and white." And I was right, and that's when I dropped the game.
It wasn't just the game going "Ha, you thought an abusive employer is the most evil thing there is, but we showed you," it's how the climax was a predictable binary choice presented as a clever subversion of expectations. No matter what I chose, what would it matter anyway?
I was only a few hours in, on the first world. The game was divided into different worlds instead of one map, which discouraged exploration, and this map was basically a circle with a town on one part and a commune on a different part. The town was a company town run by an evil businessman and the commune was run by a nice hippie. I was at the part of the quest where I convince the employees to abandon the abusive company and go live on the commune. As I was walking back to the commune I kept thinking "I bet there's some dark secret about the hippie lady that's going to be revealed and make the choice not so black and white." And I was right, and that's when I dropped the game.
It wasn't just the game going "Ha, you thought an abusive employer is the most evil thing there is, but we showed you," it's how the climax was a predictable binary choice presented as a clever subversion of expectations. No matter what I chose, what would it matter anyway?
The game's got style, I'll give it that. I just wish the gameplay wasn't garbage. The enemy AI doesn't have much in the way of self-defense, and there are several times where you're stuck in a position with no cover where you are clearly suppose to just tank the shots.
I played this for five minutes and gave up when the game wouldn't allow me to point my guns upwards to shoot the lights that were burning me, nor crouch to shoot the exploding barrels. Something's wrong when a game is less flexible than the original Castlevania.
2023
This review contains spoilers
I got to the point where the expedition was so FUBAR that I had to shoot all the dogs, and I still got a game over on the following cycle. Then the game said I could go back to previous weeks to change the outcome, but I didn't want to go through the same dialogue and morality choices trying to figure out how to keep things from falling apart. It didn't help that the story wasn't what I was expecting, I was hoping for some mystery and adventure in addition to the nature survival, but that's all there was.
This review contains spoilers
It's more Breath of the Wild. If you liked Breath of the Wild you'll like this.
It doesn't improve upon Breath of the Wild though, which is a problem when Nintendo is charging seventy bucks for the same map. "But it's not the same map," I hear you say, "they changed it and added stuff." It's the same map with a bunch of boring caves and wells in it and a new base at the beginning; I have been through the same library and dining room in Hyrule Castle three times now. The Depths isn't a new map, it's an inverted map of Hyrule with less interesting activities in it, once you figure that out all the mystery dries up. They should have put the all the floating buildings into the ground, that would have made it a new map.
I miss the stasis mechanic. The gluing mechanic is not nearly as fun and is somehow less versatile than stasis plus magnetism. Speaking of which, there's no point in slowly gluing a clumsy vehicle together that runs out of juice or gets stuck on the first obstacle in a minute when there's already horses and teleportation and paragliding.
What the Hell was Calamity Ganon, Ganondorf's fart? This game wants to ride on the success of being a sequel to Breath of the Wild but doesn't want to explore the consequences of the events of Breath of the Wild. It should have been a distant sequel, not an immediate sequel. You have to save Zelda when Zelda should have had Purah's job so she could be more relevant to the story. Ganondorf is built up as a big deal but all his did was stab a lady then spend ten-thousand years in a hole. At least Calamity Ganon messed things up, at least Calamity Ganon was an impressive final boss. I should have known the ending was going to be unsatisfying after finding the end of the Bubbel Gem sidequest unrewarding.
And Hestu's dance is worse this time around.
It doesn't improve upon Breath of the Wild though, which is a problem when Nintendo is charging seventy bucks for the same map. "But it's not the same map," I hear you say, "they changed it and added stuff." It's the same map with a bunch of boring caves and wells in it and a new base at the beginning; I have been through the same library and dining room in Hyrule Castle three times now. The Depths isn't a new map, it's an inverted map of Hyrule with less interesting activities in it, once you figure that out all the mystery dries up. They should have put the all the floating buildings into the ground, that would have made it a new map.
I miss the stasis mechanic. The gluing mechanic is not nearly as fun and is somehow less versatile than stasis plus magnetism. Speaking of which, there's no point in slowly gluing a clumsy vehicle together that runs out of juice or gets stuck on the first obstacle in a minute when there's already horses and teleportation and paragliding.
What the Hell was Calamity Ganon, Ganondorf's fart? This game wants to ride on the success of being a sequel to Breath of the Wild but doesn't want to explore the consequences of the events of Breath of the Wild. It should have been a distant sequel, not an immediate sequel. You have to save Zelda when Zelda should have had Purah's job so she could be more relevant to the story. Ganondorf is built up as a big deal but all his did was stab a lady then spend ten-thousand years in a hole. At least Calamity Ganon messed things up, at least Calamity Ganon was an impressive final boss. I should have known the ending was going to be unsatisfying after finding the end of the Bubbel Gem sidequest unrewarding.
And Hestu's dance is worse this time around.
There should be something called "Other M" syndrome. This game gets rid of all the fun RPG and open world elements of previous games, and for what? Tedious cutscenes and a trite plot. Levels are boring corridors, the fighting moves are basic, and worst of all the bosses are damage-sponges; thank god the Zero version allows save scumming. I'd recommend just watching the new intro and outro cutscenes on YouTube and the credits because the song that plays over the credits is fantastic.