I hope this flopped and they didn't make any other entries, that'd be worth a laugh! I havent had any playing this. This mf Simon with his perfectly chiseled chin and wealthiest caveman in the cave rizz can't whip worth a damn. Is he asexual? Why does he think he's him? Call it y = b^x the way shit went off the rails so fast, what a difficulty curve folks. You have to be there to see it. There's not really a specific enemy to make fun of so I won't focus on that aspect. Except Dracula on steroids but those were different times, the basement dweller community has foregiven Dracula.

Let's breakdown how the game plays. There are no input cancels obviously this ain't no Tekken, once you jump you are vulnerable for around 1 second and to approximately 33 threats, you can only walk and slightly crouch, not to mention (I'll mention) the whip having more screentime where it doesnt hit once you press the destroy foes button. So basically you're dead on arrival. Also, sometimes you get hit by a projectile thats been destroyed or a mf who already vaporized. Shit that should only happen in Mexico and I don't wager Simon is having his pilgrimage there.

I've warmed up, but huh no physical activity to follow because I need to say good things about this decent game. The night is dark and the path is.. not always clear, especially stage 17 with those gears but it all looks great. Dracula looks like his breath smells of garlic which makes me worry about his health being a vampire and all, but I won't judge him if he stepped out the hospital just to whoop my ass he's just that guy. Not gonna lie I had to use save states between every hit because I didn't trust myself enough and I was playing the game on break I wanted to finish it today at least (as in friday 22nd march, I'm actually reviewing it on the day I finish a game which I usually never do and condone! But we do this ig)