ThatOneJackal
To appreciate a quality videogame when you see it, one must simply play 20 minutes of Devil May Cry 2 and then compare it to the first 2 minutes of Devil May Cry 3. The improvement to gameplay, music, story, characters and basically everything goes even beyond DMC1. This is the game that really establishes a lot of what would be seen in later games, such as Dante's weapon selection and styles.
I'm really glad they stuck to the gold orb respawn system, but it's nice they give people the option for yellow orbs instead (I will never touch that option with a 10 foot pole).
There is an actual proper story now, with greater emphasis on humour and cutscenes that brings the characters to life. This is also the game to actually make Vergil into a character since he's basically just a namedrop in DMC1, and yeah he's fantastic. Of course, Lady, Dante and Arkham are great too, especially Dante, who has so much memorable dialogue compared to the blank slate in DMC2.
This game is pretty damn hard, even on normal mode. I finished almost every bossfight with less than 10% HP remaining. Although, unlike DMC1, I found the difficulty much more of an enjoyable hurdle to overcome, due to the wide variety of combos, weapons, and styles.
Also, why is Joker and Arkham in this game, but no Man? Is he stupid?
I'm really glad they stuck to the gold orb respawn system, but it's nice they give people the option for yellow orbs instead (I will never touch that option with a 10 foot pole).
There is an actual proper story now, with greater emphasis on humour and cutscenes that brings the characters to life. This is also the game to actually make Vergil into a character since he's basically just a namedrop in DMC1, and yeah he's fantastic. Of course, Lady, Dante and Arkham are great too, especially Dante, who has so much memorable dialogue compared to the blank slate in DMC2.
This game is pretty damn hard, even on normal mode. I finished almost every bossfight with less than 10% HP remaining. Although, unlike DMC1, I found the difficulty much more of an enjoyable hurdle to overcome, due to the wide variety of combos, weapons, and styles.
Also, why is Joker and Arkham in this game, but no Man? Is he stupid?
Overall rating is the average of DMC1, 2 and 3
DMC1: 5/10
DMC2: 2/10
DMC3: 8/10
Average: (5+2+8)/3 = 5/10
Overall, pretty good remasters, although it's weird they didn't change the aspect ratio of the menus to widescreen to suit the gameplay and cutscenes.
DMC1: 5/10
DMC2: 2/10
DMC3: 8/10
Average: (5+2+8)/3 = 5/10
Overall, pretty good remasters, although it's weird they didn't change the aspect ratio of the menus to widescreen to suit the gameplay and cutscenes.
2012
The singing Drill boss is awesome, that's literally all I can remember
"Note to self, after I take over Skylands, come back and DESTROY THIS PLACE!"
"I'd like to see you try, Kaos."
"Who said that? ARE YOU FUCKING-"
"Note to self, after I take over Skylands, come back and DESTROY THIS PLACE!"
"I'd like to see you try, Kaos."
"Who said that? ARE YOU FUCKING-"
2015
Scared to imagine how much was spent on Star Wars figures for this game
2015
Closest we've ever come to Portal 3. Also really detailed TARDIS is the only other thing I can remember
NOTE: Below are just thoughts I wrote down like halfway through the game, this is my actual review
My biggest gripe with this game so far is the excessively cruel checkpoint system at times; in the context of the series it has gone from generous to brutal. In older entries, entering a loading zone would give you an automatic checkpoint along with a full health revival upon death. In The Phantom Pain, you could spend 30 minutes carefully sneaking across a 500m wide base, tactically avoiding or taking out each guard. Then, as soon as you reach the objective, accidentally alert one of the guards, locking the door to the cutscene when you’re standing right next to it, so you die or reset to checkpoint, only to be placed half a kilometre away from the entire facility, tasked with the daunting prospect of having to do the whole thing again.
The good news, however, as I came to realise, is that this isn't always a complete disaster, as your knowledge of events will stay with you and can be used for a quicker victory. For example, one mission tasked me with eliminating a guy in a massive compound, the only lead being that he would meet up with another guy. I spent ages sneaking in, interrogating soldiers to learn their route, and attempted to sabotage the road but was caught and had to reset. 15 minutes of progress reset? Not necessarily. Using my new knowledge of where the vehicle the target entered was parked, I chose a quicker route to its hangar, rigged it with C4, and simply waited from a safe distance until the right moment.
My biggest gripe with this game so far is the excessively cruel checkpoint system at times; in the context of the series it has gone from generous to brutal. In older entries, entering a loading zone would give you an automatic checkpoint along with a full health revival upon death. In The Phantom Pain, you could spend 30 minutes carefully sneaking across a 500m wide base, tactically avoiding or taking out each guard. Then, as soon as you reach the objective, accidentally alert one of the guards, locking the door to the cutscene when you’re standing right next to it, so you die or reset to checkpoint, only to be placed half a kilometre away from the entire facility, tasked with the daunting prospect of having to do the whole thing again.
The good news, however, as I came to realise, is that this isn't always a complete disaster, as your knowledge of events will stay with you and can be used for a quicker victory. For example, one mission tasked me with eliminating a guy in a massive compound, the only lead being that he would meet up with another guy. I spent ages sneaking in, interrogating soldiers to learn their route, and attempted to sabotage the road but was caught and had to reset. 15 minutes of progress reset? Not necessarily. Using my new knowledge of where the vehicle the target entered was parked, I chose a quicker route to its hangar, rigged it with C4, and simply waited from a safe distance until the right moment.
The balls of Konami to explicitly call this "The Definitive Package" knowing they sold Ground Zeroes separately is astounding. If you want an excellent introduction to MGS5 that isn't the 1 hour crawling simulator in the hospital, this is the way to go. At the time of writing, I have yet to finish Phantom Pain, but based off of what I have already experienced, this is the first Metal Gear game where I have truly enjoyed the gameplay, enough so that I want to delve back in to the earlier games with a new set of eyes.
Resident Sleeper
2013
Insane to me that half of backloggd's lowest rated are indie games that YouTubers gaslit 12 year old me into thinking were good because they made 5+ videos on each one.
The other half are Sonic games, so I guess this is an overlap.
The other half are Sonic games, so I guess this is an overlap.
2016
I would buy 500 copies of 3D All Stars if I could take back the £7.99 I spent on this game.
2016
Harambe's death was the Act 1 inciting incident. Pokemon Go achieving world peace was the Act 2 false victory. Everything that has happened to humanity since has been the Act 3 downfall arc
2013
In all seriousness, this is the most angry I have gotten at anything in my entire life. Was decent for school lunch break though, kinda miss raging about it front of friends.
They really put “peak of combat” into a title that ISN'T DMC2?
Anyway, it's a mobile game, so don't expect anything remarkable. Its high point is when it plays DMC3 music. At the very least, I commend them for somehow making Dante ugly. This is my shortest DMC review by far because I was hardly interested to play it for more than half an hour. I wasn't very interested in what I saw but it was at least slightly better than 2. But 2 is one of the worst games I've ever played so that's not saying much.
Anyway, it's a mobile game, so don't expect anything remarkable. Its high point is when it plays DMC3 music. At the very least, I commend them for somehow making Dante ugly. This is my shortest DMC review by far because I was hardly interested to play it for more than half an hour. I wasn't very interested in what I saw but it was at least slightly better than 2. But 2 is one of the worst games I've ever played so that's not saying much.
One of my greatest sins as a Professional Gamer is that…I don’t really enjoy Metal Gear Solid. Despite 2 and 3 being two of the most acclaimed video games of all time, I had to tough through the games on Easy mode just to wrangle them out of my backlog. I found the control scheme unintuitive, and I absolutely suck at stealth. I just don’t have the patience, it's not really a fault of the games themselves, just how I am as a person.
On the other hand, MGSV is a game that I enjoy so much that I'll only put it down because of how big my backlog is. I found it very hard in the beginning, but as I got better at aiming, stealth, creative solutions, and had more resources available, the game kept getting better and better.
The great thing about the creative options with this game is how readily available they are. Weapons development and supply drops are so cheap in the grand scheme of things that it really encourages you to use any item/weapon/buddy whenever you want. I was pretty boring with other open worlds like other games such as Tears Of The Kingdom and RDR2. In the former, I felt discouraged from using Zonai resources because of how slow it was to get batteries and materials, so I mostly just stuck to regular weapons. In the latter, the game has pretty rigid level design, so you just go through the linear, intended route. However, the ease of developments and Fulton deliveries meant I approached The Phantom Pain in the way normal people approach games like Botw/Totk when they make their funny moments compilations.
Interrogating guards for objective or stash info. Rigging comms and anti-air with C4 to make a safer getaway. Should I kill, stun, tranq, avoid this enemy? The amount of options makes what an essentially 2 minute gameplay loop sustain itself for dozens and dozens of missions.
At first, checkpoint's seemed pretty cruel. And yeah, it sucks when you lose 20 minutes of sneaking progress because you were careless at the last possible second. Sometimes, it's not all bad though. Enemies will remain marked and you will know where exactly your objective is, so a lot of the time you can try again and take way less time.
The element of this game I personally wish was more developed was activities on Mother Base. You have target practice and suplexing your cult of soldiers and that's about it. I love returning the work you put into the open world into a constantly developing hub world, but it's mostly just visual. I guess when it comes to FOBs it affects gameplay a bit more since you or someone else will be exploring a custom built fortress.
The OST/score is great, as always with Metal Gear, with the new addition of licensed 80's music. A lot of it I avoid since I've heard it on the radio a million times in my life, but there are standouts like Midge Are of course. Wouldn't be the same game if my helicopter didn't play Rebel Yell every single time it picked me up. Wish they had Here's To You from Ground Zeroes though.
When it comes to story, I can see the main issues people have. Kojima doesn't have the most traditional storytelling methods, opting to do 20 minute exposition dumps in the middle of a gameplay mission (with the odd action scene here and there). However, it's kept interesting by just how many plot twists and reveals and stuff packed into each game. Phantom Pain, on the other hand, has a very hands-off story. Most of it is explained in hours worth of audio logs, and a lot of what you're told in normal cutscenes is a lie. Half of the missions in this game are just oddjobs with the overall narrative goal of "restoring mother base". Chapter 1 also has "we need revenge on Cipher/XOF/Skull Face" which end up being directly involved in a few missions.
Once Chapter 2 happens the narrative completely collapses. any remaining loose threads are continued in cutscenes that are triggered after doing random shit like side-ops, and as many know already, aren't even resolved. Yes, the game is unfinished, but this only really becomes a problem in Chapter 2. Chapter 1 is a quite solid (if slow and dull by Metal Gear standards) story that resolves the major conflict. It's a real shame that there isn't a true conclusion though. Chapter 2 suffers the most gameplay wise, as well. There are like 3 missions that forward the narrative, the rest are repeat missions but with additional difficulty. Harder missions aren't an issue on their own, the problem is them being muddled along with the content you need to complete to reach missions 43/45/46, the closest this game comes to a true ending.
This game also has pretty annoying bossfights ngl. Missions 29/42, 40, 45 and 31/50 are some of the most unenjoyable experiences I have ever had. You either cheese them or try to fight normally and get one shot 10 minutes after your most recent checkpoint.
Overall, I think my actual biggest issue with the game is the discourse surrounding it. It seems to be almost exclusively extremes; people either go "this game is unfinished and broken and ruined my life" or "this game is supposed to be unfinished and its actually a flawless masterpiece that I will spend 3 hours hyping up". The truth is somewhere in the middle, I lean towards "flawed but some great stuff".
To me, this will probably be the most important Metal Gear Solid I'll ever play, because it's definitely encouraged me to replay all the others with a more open mind so that I can see what others love in them so much. It was certainly a conflicting experience of a game. When you’re watching a cutscene, it’s a 5. When you get bad checkpoints, it's a 4. When everything falls perfectly into place and you creatively and stealthily execute a mission, it’s a 10. This game would probably be a 9 minimum if they actually finished it (common Konami L). The Jeep scene is unironically an 11/10. Overall, it's like an 8.
Well, I guess there’s nothing more to add other than……”Major….I’M BURNING UUUUUUUP!!!!”
On the other hand, MGSV is a game that I enjoy so much that I'll only put it down because of how big my backlog is. I found it very hard in the beginning, but as I got better at aiming, stealth, creative solutions, and had more resources available, the game kept getting better and better.
The great thing about the creative options with this game is how readily available they are. Weapons development and supply drops are so cheap in the grand scheme of things that it really encourages you to use any item/weapon/buddy whenever you want. I was pretty boring with other open worlds like other games such as Tears Of The Kingdom and RDR2. In the former, I felt discouraged from using Zonai resources because of how slow it was to get batteries and materials, so I mostly just stuck to regular weapons. In the latter, the game has pretty rigid level design, so you just go through the linear, intended route. However, the ease of developments and Fulton deliveries meant I approached The Phantom Pain in the way normal people approach games like Botw/Totk when they make their funny moments compilations.
Interrogating guards for objective or stash info. Rigging comms and anti-air with C4 to make a safer getaway. Should I kill, stun, tranq, avoid this enemy? The amount of options makes what an essentially 2 minute gameplay loop sustain itself for dozens and dozens of missions.
At first, checkpoint's seemed pretty cruel. And yeah, it sucks when you lose 20 minutes of sneaking progress because you were careless at the last possible second. Sometimes, it's not all bad though. Enemies will remain marked and you will know where exactly your objective is, so a lot of the time you can try again and take way less time.
The element of this game I personally wish was more developed was activities on Mother Base. You have target practice and suplexing your cult of soldiers and that's about it. I love returning the work you put into the open world into a constantly developing hub world, but it's mostly just visual. I guess when it comes to FOBs it affects gameplay a bit more since you or someone else will be exploring a custom built fortress.
The OST/score is great, as always with Metal Gear, with the new addition of licensed 80's music. A lot of it I avoid since I've heard it on the radio a million times in my life, but there are standouts like Midge Are of course. Wouldn't be the same game if my helicopter didn't play Rebel Yell every single time it picked me up. Wish they had Here's To You from Ground Zeroes though.
When it comes to story, I can see the main issues people have. Kojima doesn't have the most traditional storytelling methods, opting to do 20 minute exposition dumps in the middle of a gameplay mission (with the odd action scene here and there). However, it's kept interesting by just how many plot twists and reveals and stuff packed into each game. Phantom Pain, on the other hand, has a very hands-off story. Most of it is explained in hours worth of audio logs, and a lot of what you're told in normal cutscenes is a lie. Half of the missions in this game are just oddjobs with the overall narrative goal of "restoring mother base". Chapter 1 also has "we need revenge on Cipher/XOF/Skull Face" which end up being directly involved in a few missions.
Once Chapter 2 happens the narrative completely collapses. any remaining loose threads are continued in cutscenes that are triggered after doing random shit like side-ops, and as many know already, aren't even resolved. Yes, the game is unfinished, but this only really becomes a problem in Chapter 2. Chapter 1 is a quite solid (if slow and dull by Metal Gear standards) story that resolves the major conflict. It's a real shame that there isn't a true conclusion though. Chapter 2 suffers the most gameplay wise, as well. There are like 3 missions that forward the narrative, the rest are repeat missions but with additional difficulty. Harder missions aren't an issue on their own, the problem is them being muddled along with the content you need to complete to reach missions 43/45/46, the closest this game comes to a true ending.
This game also has pretty annoying bossfights ngl. Missions 29/42, 40, 45 and 31/50 are some of the most unenjoyable experiences I have ever had. You either cheese them or try to fight normally and get one shot 10 minutes after your most recent checkpoint.
Overall, I think my actual biggest issue with the game is the discourse surrounding it. It seems to be almost exclusively extremes; people either go "this game is unfinished and broken and ruined my life" or "this game is supposed to be unfinished and its actually a flawless masterpiece that I will spend 3 hours hyping up". The truth is somewhere in the middle, I lean towards "flawed but some great stuff".
To me, this will probably be the most important Metal Gear Solid I'll ever play, because it's definitely encouraged me to replay all the others with a more open mind so that I can see what others love in them so much. It was certainly a conflicting experience of a game. When you’re watching a cutscene, it’s a 5. When you get bad checkpoints, it's a 4. When everything falls perfectly into place and you creatively and stealthily execute a mission, it’s a 10. This game would probably be a 9 minimum if they actually finished it (common Konami L). The Jeep scene is unironically an 11/10. Overall, it's like an 8.
Well, I guess there’s nothing more to add other than……”Major….I’M BURNING UUUUUUUP!!!!”
2022
"Aight...imma head out." - Actual line of dialogue from this game
Neon White is an absolutely brilliant game where nobody can go 5 seconds without reminding you that the story is cringe. Personally I think that's a bit exaggerated, although I did reel back in my seat at the occasional Gen Z/gamer speak (Steve Blum says "OP" and "no cap" out loud). The main characters start as very over-the-top cliches: the edgy protag, the dudebro sidekick, the femme fatale love interest, and basically a yandere? But over time, parts of their personas are slightly peeled away, the voice actors stop screaming their lines, and you get the occasional heartfelt messaging of the game. It's not the most interesting story of all time, and its feels intentionally cheesy, but it's enough to tie the levels together well and give some nice down time here and there. The visual novel style is probably the greatest contrast one could have to the tight speedrun design of the gameplay.
"You're laughing. We inadvertently sent some Neon to his grave, and you're laughing." - Reference to a viral 'Joker' (2019) quote
The gameplay is of course where all the praise for this game goes. Some of the tightest level design I've ever experience, I'd say 80% of the time I could figure out where to go on my first attempt without really slowing down. The short length of every level (usually a minute or less, with the occasional 2 minute gauntlet or 4 minute bossfight) makes failure almost a non-issue; I never raged once at this game. Clarity of objectives, the unique card system and fluidity of shooting or discarding, and the insane momentum you carry makes this a speedy but not technically demanding game (even on Switch handheld it works well). The skill ceiling for what is required of the player is decently low, unlike Celeste, which I draw comparisons to because of its similar quick respawn system and because I don't play many platformers. All you need to rank up is Gold medals, so any time saves beyond that is purely for your own enjoyment rather than progression, and the game gets you into a comfortable enough groove that it was rare that I had to retry a level to get a Gold.
"You're so lucky you don't have big boobs, White." - Another actual line of dialogue from this game
The presents were a cool idea at first, as you approach the game entirely differently, scouting for the present while preserving cards so that you can actually reach them. However, this was the least enjoyable part for me because it goes against the whole ethos of the game. Once the novelty wears off it becomes frustrating to slowly observe the levels instead of going fast which is so much more fun. And you need to get them all for the true ending so they're very encouraged.
"Isn't it freaking crazy that JOHN CENA is here in HEAVEN, giving us missions?!" - Line delivery from a voice actor who also stars in 'O.K.K.O: Let's Be Heroes'
The sad thing with a game about going fast, is that it will inevitably be quite short, lest the developers design 1000 levels to compensate. By the 5 hour mark I reached Neon Rank 1 and had already found about 30 presents. If like me you aren't super interested in the Rushes modes or getting times as low as possible, then unfortunately your journey with this game won't last forever. In a way though, this is a great pick-up and play game if you have 20 minutes to spare.
"It's like how you can never be a true gamer if you only ever play on easy mode." - Average Dark Souls fan
Overall, Neon White is an awesome, super fun game with a goofy story, and it makes for a fun demo of what it's like to be a speedrunner, but without the part where you watch Lakitu fly in front of Peach's castle for the 1000th reset.
Neon White is an absolutely brilliant game where nobody can go 5 seconds without reminding you that the story is cringe. Personally I think that's a bit exaggerated, although I did reel back in my seat at the occasional Gen Z/gamer speak (Steve Blum says "OP" and "no cap" out loud). The main characters start as very over-the-top cliches: the edgy protag, the dudebro sidekick, the femme fatale love interest, and basically a yandere? But over time, parts of their personas are slightly peeled away, the voice actors stop screaming their lines, and you get the occasional heartfelt messaging of the game. It's not the most interesting story of all time, and its feels intentionally cheesy, but it's enough to tie the levels together well and give some nice down time here and there. The visual novel style is probably the greatest contrast one could have to the tight speedrun design of the gameplay.
"You're laughing. We inadvertently sent some Neon to his grave, and you're laughing." - Reference to a viral 'Joker' (2019) quote
The gameplay is of course where all the praise for this game goes. Some of the tightest level design I've ever experience, I'd say 80% of the time I could figure out where to go on my first attempt without really slowing down. The short length of every level (usually a minute or less, with the occasional 2 minute gauntlet or 4 minute bossfight) makes failure almost a non-issue; I never raged once at this game. Clarity of objectives, the unique card system and fluidity of shooting or discarding, and the insane momentum you carry makes this a speedy but not technically demanding game (even on Switch handheld it works well). The skill ceiling for what is required of the player is decently low, unlike Celeste, which I draw comparisons to because of its similar quick respawn system and because I don't play many platformers. All you need to rank up is Gold medals, so any time saves beyond that is purely for your own enjoyment rather than progression, and the game gets you into a comfortable enough groove that it was rare that I had to retry a level to get a Gold.
"You're so lucky you don't have big boobs, White." - Another actual line of dialogue from this game
The presents were a cool idea at first, as you approach the game entirely differently, scouting for the present while preserving cards so that you can actually reach them. However, this was the least enjoyable part for me because it goes against the whole ethos of the game. Once the novelty wears off it becomes frustrating to slowly observe the levels instead of going fast which is so much more fun. And you need to get them all for the true ending so they're very encouraged.
"Isn't it freaking crazy that JOHN CENA is here in HEAVEN, giving us missions?!" - Line delivery from a voice actor who also stars in 'O.K.K.O: Let's Be Heroes'
The sad thing with a game about going fast, is that it will inevitably be quite short, lest the developers design 1000 levels to compensate. By the 5 hour mark I reached Neon Rank 1 and had already found about 30 presents. If like me you aren't super interested in the Rushes modes or getting times as low as possible, then unfortunately your journey with this game won't last forever. In a way though, this is a great pick-up and play game if you have 20 minutes to spare.
"It's like how you can never be a true gamer if you only ever play on easy mode." - Average Dark Souls fan
Overall, Neon White is an awesome, super fun game with a goofy story, and it makes for a fun demo of what it's like to be a speedrunner, but without the part where you watch Lakitu fly in front of Peach's castle for the 1000th reset.