The only real f*cking that happened was of my brain. WTF WAS THAT!!!!! THESE DEVS ARE INSANE!!!!
I have a feeling they played SCORN and were like "Yeah this is pretty cool but what if instead of using a gun it's some weird dudes dick?" absolutely surreal experience. Really glad I played it actually but this is completely unrecommendable unless you're a complete degenerate.

It's kinda funny how little actual sex scenes this game has, it definitely leans alot more into the "Cosmic Horror" than "Hentai game"
I'm not very squeamish but that scene near the end had me looking away from the screen and saying out loud "HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK"

Приятный старый лутер-шутер с сел-шейдинговой графикой, самое то чтобы засесть в неё поиграть с друзьями, постапокалиптическая Пандора дарит достаточно много локаций для исследований но к сожалению довольно пустых и скучных, что можно сказать и о квестах которые приходиться брать на протяжении всей игры, они довольно репетативные и в течении их выполнений в какой-то момент просто устаёшь и в голову приходит лишь мысли "может дропнуть" или "может скипнуть" и просто пройти сюжет до конца и перейти к следующей части.
Говоря о сюжете, то в первой части он находиться лишь в первой и последней заставке, всё остальное время просто приходиться бегать и выполнять те самые однотипные квесты, но финальный забег к Хранилищу вызывает толику интереса, в это момент как раз появляются и новые враги которые не появлялись ранее.
Очень расстроила оптимизация игры и баги, даже при том что играл в ремастер 2019 года, во время боёв фпс постоянно просаживался как у меня так и у друга и помогал только перезаход из игры.
Но все минусы сглаживаются тем что мне очень нравится сеттинг, жанр, и атмосфера ебанутости в серии.

Remember when Running with Scissors would show up to gaming expos with a bunch of half-naked pornstars and models in tow to promote whatever the Postal franchise was doing next? Man, the 2000s were wild. The whole "Postal Babes" marketing campaign was apparently so successful it led to the ladies appearing in the actual games themselves, spawning a now defunct website where the company would post naughty pics of them, and starring in their own official spin-off title here.

A single glance at its name and artwork will tell what this mobile excursion is all about. Namely letting you play an action game where you get to look at chicks in their underwear. While I'm sure this was absolutely outrageous back in its day, in our modern era where we have witches clothed in hair who will show you everything but their cooter or nipples and the romance scenes in RPGs have long since turned into softcore pornos, the occasional sight of a pixelated thong-clad booty is hardly salacious enough to shock or offend anymore. Heck, it barely even gets the blood pumping.

What will get you worked up is the gameplay however, as this is unbelievably and stupidly hard. I'm talking that old-school unfair NES level of difficult that would have you questioning if the devs didn't know what they were doing or were just sadists, and leave a younger James Rolfe foaming at the mouth with rage. It starts off fine, but goes right down the crapper the second guns are introduced. At that point the whole thing becomes a torturous trial-and-error process of memorizing enemy placements so that you can try to shoot foes from offscreen before they do the same to you. I feel legitimately sorry for those who bought this on smaller devices because finishing this becomes borderline impossible on narrower aspect ratios.

A shame, as there are genuinely a few touches like the handful of sniping sections and a larger than usual for the format number of stages that show HeroCraft did at least attempt to make the project fun and something of quality. Unfortunately, the list of agonizing faults only continues to compile to include instant-death bomb defusing, bafflingly few health pickups, and needing to carefully manage the ammo in your more powerful weapons to use at the right spots. Turning what should have been a cheesy, sleazy good time into a source of unmitigated pain and suffering. Which I suppose if you were a teen trying to get his rocks off to a steamy-looking cellphone cocktease game in 2009 (why would anyone play this on the go?!) is probably what you deserved. I'm merely somebody who thought it would be amusing/interesting to marathon the entire Postal catalogue though, so I didn't. 🥺

2/10