A thinking man's game.

When you've got a rubber butt, what happens when you rub one out too much? You would now have an empty metal butt. How else would you maneuver through the cavernous Bubsy 2-adjacent level design without a rubber?! You've got your wooden stiffy jump that flops at the most inopportune times, and you're over here trying to draw naked mermaids while getting blasted by nu metal pirates and vacuum cleaners who won't even give you the common courtesy of a reach around. Here's a tip, be quick on the draw, or eat lead as they say. Get my point?

You attempt to rub another one out, but you constantly miss your mark because what are hit boxes but a suggestion? I'll pen you one right now, or better yet a finger because fuck pens, we pencils in this bizzatch. No more monkey business from you, or it'll be a walk of the plank straight into the giant toilet. With a zillion units sold, the entire multiverse has accepted massive amounts of wood into their homes, and the brick wall industry has collapsed unto itself. The last winning effort to preserve the rain forests was one love tap from a new beloved mascot, move over Mario Andretti or whatever that jabroni's name is, because the stiff competition has found itself on top. A new pencil-necked dude with attitude has replaced the hedgedork as the head of Sega, replacing the current timeline as Nintendo is now the one who missed the mark and has found themselves rubbed out for good.

Say it! SEGAAAA!!!!!

Your favorite president is Woodrow Wilson.