A Play in Three Acts
ACT I
Setting: A Discord Server
Many People Over the Years: DC, you love Twin Peaks, you should play Alan Wake. It's inspired by Twin Peaks.
Me: Oh wow, sounds cool. I'll check it out. I liked Control but it didn't blow me away.
Many People: Just be aware that the gameplay/combat sucks.
Me: I don't care! How bad can it be? I love Twin Peaks! It has a diner in the opening segment! It's about a writer! How bad can it be?
ACT II
Setting: The First Several Hours of Alan Wake: Remastered
Me: Oh wow, I'm pretty sure my grandma can sprint longer than this guy. How did they go from Max Payne to this? Like...I know he's a writer but still..
Me: Doesn't matter! Hallucinations, fake Mrs. Tremond, a book mystery, a wife mystery! This is great! I'll just turn the game down to easy so I can get through the bad parts faster!
ACT III
Setting: Despair. A lone chair on stage while a disheveled man forces himself through a video game out of spite.
Me, quietly sobbing to my controller: please...make it stop. I never want to see a flashlight ever again.
The lights dim and go out leaving the stage in blackness.
Me, a low, trembling whisper: How did they go from Max Payne to this?
T H E E N D
ACT I
Setting: A Discord Server
Many People Over the Years: DC, you love Twin Peaks, you should play Alan Wake. It's inspired by Twin Peaks.
Me: Oh wow, sounds cool. I'll check it out. I liked Control but it didn't blow me away.
Many People: Just be aware that the gameplay/combat sucks.
Me: I don't care! How bad can it be? I love Twin Peaks! It has a diner in the opening segment! It's about a writer! How bad can it be?
ACT II
Setting: The First Several Hours of Alan Wake: Remastered
Me: Oh wow, I'm pretty sure my grandma can sprint longer than this guy. How did they go from Max Payne to this? Like...I know he's a writer but still..
Me: Doesn't matter! Hallucinations, fake Mrs. Tremond, a book mystery, a wife mystery! This is great! I'll just turn the game down to easy so I can get through the bad parts faster!
ACT III
Setting: Despair. A lone chair on stage while a disheveled man forces himself through a video game out of spite.
Me, quietly sobbing to my controller: please...make it stop. I never want to see a flashlight ever again.
The lights dim and go out leaving the stage in blackness.
Me, a low, trembling whisper: How did they go from Max Payne to this?
T H E E N D
4 Comments
The bottom line is pronounced like in The End of the World right
Really if you want to play the better Twin Peaks game, play Deadly Premonition. The combat in DP isn't that good either, but unlike Alan Wake, its not the focus and you can do sidequests around town that give you infinite ammo weapons that pretty much trivializes the combat.
I gave up after several hours, somewhere in a trailer park? I hated the characters and the writing. Shame because I loved Control.
I love the nature of this review by the way. Bravo! (I won't call for an encore on your behalf)
I love the nature of this review by the way. Bravo! (I won't call for an encore on your behalf)
crimson2877
9 months ago