I got my first ending after 5 minutes. I wish I’d been satisfied to let it go from there.

“Go get your shitty brother!”

Cons: fitting but so-so music, the visual novel elements aren’t any deeper than Fast and Furious dialogue with character portraits that look goofy af, only 5 tracks

Pros: the 5 tracks present are excellent and I never got bored of racing on them. Drift mechanics are an absolute dream especially as someone that mastered and got bored of Mariokart years ago- this felt like a comfy transition into something more challenging and totally worthwhile. It’s surprising how different all the cars feel, though several just feel like driving on ice, completing separate challenges for them was really cool. Finished the story in an hour and a half, said “that was it?” But then kept coming back for more and ended up getting nearly every steam achievement and had a blast the whole time. Love these controls, love this approach to racing. That animated opener was such a charming surprise and the graphical style is so neat and added a lot! Loved this one.

Graphics on the switch port were pretty mediocre as expected

Managed to get two thirds of the way through before the intensity got to me. I like difficult games with quick restarts, but X will have you routinely making it to the last few waves before wiping out. As much as I wished there were mid-level checkpoints, there’s just no way the developers intended it to be played that way or else they’d been readily implemented. Shame as it totally would’ve been the thing to keep me going til the end.

You’re fucked up if you’re not playing Golf Peaks.

2017

It’s kind of like Genesis Noir but less pretentious and more suited for babies attracted to bright colours

I was such a big fan of the Normal Lost Phone series. I thought that they used their mechanics and context to tell really compelling stories about everyday life. I find it difficult to forget the counter in Laura’s Story, for example. Something that appeared innocuous/meaningless on the surface but became integral later on, not just as a puzzle but as something that added texture to the story.

I knew nothing about Alt Frequencies going in but I’m sorry to say it didn’t suckerpunch me in the same way the last Accidental Queens games did. It introduces a neat mechanic- copying and pasting phrases from one broadcast to another- that, while not giving the same level of Eureka! moments a Phoenix Wright game would, is solid enough. But Alt Frequencies squanders its potential to say anything at all. Why WOULD a government use a time loop to control its citizens? What are the implications of this hypothetical idea? Nothing Alt Frequencies addresses rises above surface-level “the gov’t is lying to us” aphorisms, and its cast of radio actors-while competent- are too annoying and heavy-handed to elevate the material. I was disappointed. The closest parallel I can draw to it is Not For Broadcast, which I also hated, but Alt Frequencies is mercifully much shorter.

This is also coming from someone that recently played through The Forgotten City and Heaven’s Vault, so my standards for time loop narratives may have been set too high. Please buy and support those games, as well as Accidental Queen’s previous games. This one is a pass.

Fucking up never stopped being funny. Finally succeeding never stopped being satisfying.

Crosscode’s fundamentals are so strong that they exceed where most RPGs land on by the halfway point. Not content to rest on its laurels, it only keeps expanding and deepening its core mechanics. Both the combat and puzzle solving are so fun, but what blows my mind is the synergy between the two, always incorporating the four elemental attacks into thought-provoking uses outside of battle, especially within multi-layered complex dungeons. For a game that’s not outwardly toted as a puzzle-centric experience, Crosscode’s brain teasers are far better than they have any right to be.

The degree of technical and visual artistry that went into this is actually insane. It’s one of the biggest and beautiful 2D games ever made. It took nearly a decade to make this but I’m almost surprised it didn’t take longer.

That being said, as someone that slugged it out on the Switch, avoid the Switch port if possible. The frame rate dips every time the action gets hectic, which is frequent in Crosscode. Even weather effects makes it chug. It’s sad.

My central complaint other than is mixed. I didn’t like the crafting economy (though I’ve never been a fan of those systems, period.) I explored fairly thoroughly but still rarely had the right random item necessary to craft anything of value. Second- this game is much longer than you think it is when you start. Towards the end, a massive dungeon and boss feels like the natural climax to the gameplay of Crosscode… but it keeps going, for the sake of the story. Unfortunately I spent the last couple hours feeling kind of checked out because the game had already tested me to my cranial limits and it kind of just plateaued. At the same time it’s difficult to judge the length because the quality is so consistent all the way through. These are ultimately subjective caveats for the most part. Any fan of action RPGs and puzzle games should dive into this.

I don’t enjoy being aggressive, but Snek can eat shit

Fart mode rivals Trombone Champ

I don’t have any more to say, but you can ask me a question if you’d like!

There’s a scene in the Sonic The Hedgehog movie where Sonic spins out so hard from loneliness that he powers out half the United States with a massive shockwave. Conversely, True Colors has a scene where lesbians kiss and basically the same thing happens except the power stays on, and I just think that’s lovely

Not a chance this wasn’t focus tested on trans lesbians