chemergency
2021
Stop preordering this shit. If you catch your kids trying to preorder this shit smack em over the head with a newspaper and tell them "NO."
EA and DICE have screwed the pooch on a Battlefield launch for the fifth, possibly SIXTH (or SEVENTH if you count Star Wars Battlefront II!!!) time in a row now, at this point there's absolutely no excuse. This franchise deserves to die.
EA and DICE have screwed the pooch on a Battlefield launch for the fifth, possibly SIXTH (or SEVENTH if you count Star Wars Battlefront II!!!) time in a row now, at this point there's absolutely no excuse. This franchise deserves to die.
1998
PDS is truly in a league of its own, in a genre I like to refer to as the "arthouse RPG." Much like Shenmue, PDS was an insanely ambitious and forward-thinking game released by Sega as the unintentional swansong for their console at the time, and it still holds up to this day thanks to its bold and unique gameplay and battle system, compelling story, beautiful world and amazing 3D visuals by the Saturn's standards. If you take interest in the Saturn this game is unmissable... unfortunately it's also notoriously rare and INSANELY expensive... but I don't give a shit- pirate it, emulate it, burn it to a CD-R and run it off PseudoSaturn if you have to. You'll never play another RPG quite like it.
Some of the new quality of life features (particularly the weapon wheel and manual aiming) are nice, but unfortunately they hardly justify spending $60 on this shoddy remaster due to its inconsistent performance on consoles, infuriating bugs and technical shortcomings, missing or censored content and music, and garish visual effects that clash with the original games' art direction including a godawful rain effect that has to be among the worst I've ever seen in any game. To add insult to injury Take 2's delisted the original versions of the games from digital storefronts so you'll have to mod your console and sail the high seas to get ahold of them now. This release is a disgrace and easily the worst remaster since Silent Hill HD Collection, a tonedeaf hackjob rushed out the door to capitalize on Take 2's draconian legal efforts to kill the legendary modding communities these games have fostered on PC for the sake of profit.
Do. Not. Buy. This.
Do. Not. Buy. This.
1992
A great visual novel/graphic adventure game with an engrossing atmosphere and lore, neat writing, a compelling story with a tight pace, a smooth and cool soundtrack, and a great visual style that wears its influences like a badge of honor. Great stuff I highly-recommend if you're a fan of Kojima's other works or just older Japanese games in-general.
(Zelda CD-i Remastered Review)
It's truly remarkable just how much you can improve an infamously-shitty game by giving it much-needed quality of life design improvements and overcoming the lousy CD-i hardware to fix the controls, collision detection, visuals, and performance to make for a game that's uh... still bad, but definitely playable and you can even appreciate some of the better parts of it like the music and the hand-drawn backgrounds, as well as the hilariously-dumb animated cutscenes.
It's truly remarkable just how much you can improve an infamously-shitty game by giving it much-needed quality of life design improvements and overcoming the lousy CD-i hardware to fix the controls, collision detection, visuals, and performance to make for a game that's uh... still bad, but definitely playable and you can even appreciate some of the better parts of it like the music and the hand-drawn backgrounds, as well as the hilariously-dumb animated cutscenes.
A truly catastrophic attempt to break into the AAA gaming space from a studio simply not equipped or qualified to build a game that can rival the likes of Monolith's Middle Earth games. This is the reason a number of games simply don't make it to the finish line and see the light of day. I honestly thought this was quietly cancelled several years ago and in-retrospect, maybe it should have been. I wish I were kidding when I state that this is modern gaming's closest equivalent to Superman 64.
2000
"...the phantom, exterior like fish eggs- interior like suicide wrist red- I can exercise you- this could be your Phys. Ed- cheat on your man homi-AAAAGHHHH try to sneak through the door man! Can't make it. Can't make it the shit's STUCK!!! OUTTA MY WAY SON!!!! DOOOOOOOOR STUCK!!!!!!!!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOR STUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!
I BEG YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
CS 1.6 isn't as bombastic or content-packed as some of its contemporaries like say- UT99, but its tense, high stakes game modes, tactical gunplay, and excellent map design provide a boatload of good times regardless.
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!
I BEG YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
CS 1.6 isn't as bombastic or content-packed as some of its contemporaries like say- UT99, but its tense, high stakes game modes, tactical gunplay, and excellent map design provide a boatload of good times regardless.
While its cutesiness and sound design can be a bit overbearing for some, Klonoa is another highlight for the PS1's library thanks to fun 2.5D platforming gameplay and level design reminiscent of the Kirby series.
1994
Though some levels can be ruthlessly-difficult, Earthworm Jim was a great 2D platformer on the Genesis and SNES with a lot of character, great visuals mapping hand-drawn cell animation to sprites, some funny slapstick humor that wouldn't feel out-of-place in a 90's cartoon (and sure enough there actually was a cartoon adaptation that ran a couple of seasons in the mid/late 90's), smooth controls, and solid level design.
One of Konami's best efforts on the Genesis, Bloodlines is a worthy entry in the Castlevania series and a great entrypoint for newcomers in my opinion thanks to its balanced difficulty that still proves challenging but more fair than the NES games and Rondo of Blood, I would say, but its controls and level structure are more in line with traditional Castlevania than IV on SNES. Nice to see a Castlevania game uncensored for the first time in the West too, with all the blood and guts you'd hope for coming from a game with this atmosphere.
1999
I know this one's flawed, but there's some really cool and unique shit in it too that I can't help but admire, even when its story stumbles a bit and becomes hard to follow after the first disc or the magic system becomes a drag, the art style is the best of the PS1 games and the soundtrack is among the best and most-diverse in the whole series too.
2001
Arguably the pinnacle of the series, Twisted Metal: Black further refines the controls and intense car combat gameplay while nearly-perfecting the multiplayer, adding some great, varied levels and a very dark, bleak story with some morbid, fucked-up characters.
A lame, buggy, and monotonous successor to a once-great franchise that's only really notable or memorable for being the only M-rated game in the series (which is interesting given its connection to Street Fighter) and for being one of the first games I remember where a character says the word "cunt."
2023
Red Dead Redemption's still a wonderful game after all these years, but this cynical re-release omits the multiplayer while failing to offer any significant enhancements or added features to make-up for the $50 asking price, and the lack of a PC port is irredeemably-frustrating and disappointing considering the whole "x86 spaghetti code" myth has been debunked.
On the bright side, the Switch version plays quite nice on the toilet... and also on Yuzu which means you can now play the game on the Steam Deck without having to install Windows, and no one at Rockstar is gonna stop you! God bless emulation.
On the bright side, the Switch version plays quite nice on the toilet... and also on Yuzu which means you can now play the game on the Steam Deck without having to install Windows, and no one at Rockstar is gonna stop you! God bless emulation.
This is effectively the progenitor of the Call of Duty series, but it has a compelling and very well-paced campaign that stands tall among its contemporaries along with stellar sound design and great mission variety, with guns that feel just right given their historical setting.