hotpoppah
2017
This is the game that I think Stray wanted to be but it is obviously a snake and not a cat. You are a snake, man. What more do you expect? But, here's the thing, please consider this. Platforming, but as a snake.
Everything about this game, from the tiny details, to the balls to the walls platforming is completely built around the fact that you are a snake, no ifs, ands, OR buts, bucko. You might think that is dumb as bananas, but where I come from we slurp up the crumbs of unique gameplay like it's the last bit we're gonna get for years. (Because it is.)
This game should have won 2017 Game of the Year, and you know it.
Everything about this game, from the tiny details, to the balls to the walls platforming is completely built around the fact that you are a snake, no ifs, ands, OR buts, bucko. You might think that is dumb as bananas, but where I come from we slurp up the crumbs of unique gameplay like it's the last bit we're gonna get for years. (Because it is.)
This game should have won 2017 Game of the Year, and you know it.
2015
This baby game is made for babies. Pretty standard process of elimination and matching puzzles, but it makes you feel so stinkin' cool. You'll be feeling pretty bad gamer energy when you defeat 50 rounds of this bad boy in a row. You'll crank the difficulty up slightly, really testing those waters for the thrill of something great. Then out of nowhere; a tree stump has massacred all of your beloved Zoombinis.
2002
No idea how I got my hands on this game. My childhood is so repressed, it's a blurry fade in the distance. I'm starting to believe that a copy of it just one day materialized tangible data into my hands and already installed into my PC.
The best thing about this game is definitely the Creature Creator where you animorph two animals together like you would make a combo pizza in your own kitchen; smashed together.
Forget about the rest of the game, it's a pretty standard RTS with unfair AI but that part's been done ten times over already. I refuse to believe that there is any actual thought into the mumbo jumbo that is customizing the animals for success and perfect stat optimization. NO! You want to make cool things and watch them murder coal miners for sport.
"THE CRITTERS ARE UNDER ATTACK!!!" will haunt you for the rest of your life. You'll play this earnest and honest once, get completely rocked and then limit your AI opponents to only using Animal/Snake combos that can't do anything other than slither around. You'll then win and feel very good about yourself.
GREAT NEWS, this game is older than my mom, yet it's available on Steam.
The best thing about this game is definitely the Creature Creator where you animorph two animals together like you would make a combo pizza in your own kitchen; smashed together.
Forget about the rest of the game, it's a pretty standard RTS with unfair AI but that part's been done ten times over already. I refuse to believe that there is any actual thought into the mumbo jumbo that is customizing the animals for success and perfect stat optimization. NO! You want to make cool things and watch them murder coal miners for sport.
"THE CRITTERS ARE UNDER ATTACK!!!" will haunt you for the rest of your life. You'll play this earnest and honest once, get completely rocked and then limit your AI opponents to only using Animal/Snake combos that can't do anything other than slither around. You'll then win and feel very good about yourself.
GREAT NEWS, this game is older than my mom, yet it's available on Steam.
2004
The game that made DLC expansions a thing, but somehow cool. You were a kid and you begged your parents for the the next pack so your Sim could hug a dog or learn to do ballet. Back then they came in 4 discs and you prayed on your hands and knees that your cube PC wouldn't fry itself in the process of installation. You made the same Sims over and over again and followed the same storylines. Life was good.
In hindsight, you'll never get this era of Sims again. As much as EA wants to replicate that feeling, it'll either never happen or it'll cost you $2,000. This is that old flame you got separated from because you simply grew apart. I'm here to let you know that this game is very easily accessible on Ebay. Follow your heart and never settle, gamers.
Edit: Used to be a 4.5 star rating, but I stopped doing halfsies.
In hindsight, you'll never get this era of Sims again. As much as EA wants to replicate that feeling, it'll either never happen or it'll cost you $2,000. This is that old flame you got separated from because you simply grew apart. I'm here to let you know that this game is very easily accessible on Ebay. Follow your heart and never settle, gamers.
Edit: Used to be a 4.5 star rating, but I stopped doing halfsies.
This game is best played when new characters are still coming out and never played again when the last character is released.
World of Light mode was cancer, but I'll never get the sight of Nintendo characters being vaporized out of my mind forever. Maybe you still play this game with friends but you're a liar. You will disregard this whole review when you find out I'm a Pikachu main.
World of Light mode was cancer, but I'll never get the sight of Nintendo characters being vaporized out of my mind forever. Maybe you still play this game with friends but you're a liar. You will disregard this whole review when you find out I'm a Pikachu main.