junkfrog5
41 Reviews liked by junkfrog5
I remember going to a video game store with my dad when I was about 3 years old, and I remember specifically having the dilemma of choosing between this game or Banjo Kazooie for a good 10 minutes. Not sure why the cashier didn't take a sledgehammer to the cartridge and give me Banjo Kazooie instead, but alas, my dad purchased this "game" for me at my request, and I have not known peace on God's green Earth since.
Calling this a game is being extremely generous. A game is supposed to be playable and enjoyable. This is absolutely neither. Essentially the player is stun-locked by the CPU's attacks 80% of the time, and MAYBE you can fight back. Picking up objects on the stage to throw is also useless, as it makes your character slower and it didn't deal any significant greater damage than throwing punches. There's not even a soundtrack to make the time pass by any easier. It's just the same song looped continuously, almost like the game is mocking the player for giving the game a chance in the first place.
Graphics? Assets? Lol. Lmao. The devs couldn't even bother to cut their poorly compressed jpgs correctly for the UI. Not that I'm expecting groundbreaking graphics in this obvious cash grab, but jesus, at the VERY LEAST make the sprites clean. This game is a blurry mess with very little attention to detail. To be fair a good amount of N64 games looked crusty, but I'd argue that this isn't due to the limitations of the N64 itself, but rather the devs were just lazy.
In a way, I do think it's admirable that this game must have provided a fantastic blueprint for other lazy developers like Data Design Interactive to make their own shovelware games for other consoles. I don't wanna give this game too much credit though. It's nothing more than an uninspired waste, and I extend my condolences to any child that had to experience this game any longer than 5 minutes.
Calling this a game is being extremely generous. A game is supposed to be playable and enjoyable. This is absolutely neither. Essentially the player is stun-locked by the CPU's attacks 80% of the time, and MAYBE you can fight back. Picking up objects on the stage to throw is also useless, as it makes your character slower and it didn't deal any significant greater damage than throwing punches. There's not even a soundtrack to make the time pass by any easier. It's just the same song looped continuously, almost like the game is mocking the player for giving the game a chance in the first place.
Graphics? Assets? Lol. Lmao. The devs couldn't even bother to cut their poorly compressed jpgs correctly for the UI. Not that I'm expecting groundbreaking graphics in this obvious cash grab, but jesus, at the VERY LEAST make the sprites clean. This game is a blurry mess with very little attention to detail. To be fair a good amount of N64 games looked crusty, but I'd argue that this isn't due to the limitations of the N64 itself, but rather the devs were just lazy.
In a way, I do think it's admirable that this game must have provided a fantastic blueprint for other lazy developers like Data Design Interactive to make their own shovelware games for other consoles. I don't wanna give this game too much credit though. It's nothing more than an uninspired waste, and I extend my condolences to any child that had to experience this game any longer than 5 minutes.
Dragon's Dogma II
2024
Can gamers at least try to be consistent when trashing games for having MTX, it feels like such random games always catch heat for it when there's much bigger offenders even among Capcom's own library (Monster Hunter World & Rise lmao)
I can at least understand people being upset over optimization (even if in my experience I've had little to no issue in the 5 hours I've played so far), but obviously the issue differs from person to person.
Game is fun tho, I'm having a blast, this really is just an improved version of the original Dragon's Dogma and I'm all for it.
I can at least understand people being upset over optimization (even if in my experience I've had little to no issue in the 5 hours I've played so far), but obviously the issue differs from person to person.
Game is fun tho, I'm having a blast, this really is just an improved version of the original Dragon's Dogma and I'm all for it.
Dragon's Dogma II
2024
DRAGON’S DOGMA II TASTES SO GOOD WHEN U AIN’T GOT A BITCH IN YA EAR TELLING YOU ABOUT THE MTX THAT CAN BE EARNED NORMALLY IN GAME
Dragon's Dogma II
2024
Dragons Dogma 2 feels like the world I used to imagine while reading fantasy books as a kid. The cozy open world freedom combined with fantastic combat & an addictive loot/ upgrade system. Going off the deep end in post-game to divine other worldly levels alongside some superb dungeon crawling encounters. It's got a much nicer after taste than other superb but frontloaded RPGs. There’s something about the atmosphere of Dragons Dogma, the perfect darkness, the physical things, such as having to use a lantern after nightfall or getting hit with shock DMG if soaked in water, the wizards and warriors casting a skill for almost 30 seconds straight... it just feels very real & old school. Going on a quest at sundown, surviving a hard fought night, watching the sun come up as you reach the final destination. DD2 might have best magic system in any rpg , prolly the most visually appealing magic in video games, the melee combat is also great. Basically it's a setting I like and the combat seemed like a more appealing dark souls. One of my all time favorites, if not the favorite RPG. The pawn system as a party shtick that I love in stuff like Goblin slayer and berserk & other peak fantasy media. Long hands give + attack range with swords, heavy characters are knocked around less & can pin down enemies (large/small), small characters consume less stamina when climbing enemies, long legs gives +movement speed, etc. so peak. Rant over. Play Dragonsdogma
Is it close to the Silent Hills of old? No not particularly.
Does it absolutely stumble on getting across some of its ideas and concepts? Yeah.
Are the chase sequences a bit rough? Yeah.
I still really fucked with this and everything it was doing. It gave me a dose of what I've wanted from Silent Hill for a long time, it had a vision and it sees that vision all the way through while trying to mix things up a bit.
I think it handles its themes of trauma and abuse trapping someone emotionally within cycles of self destructive and self distancing behaviors causing lashing out at anything that harms the ego and whatever normalcy one can cling onto fairly well.
I feel like even if it was a bit heavy handed at times (the beginning really tries to hammer home how depressed Anita is in ways that feel really corny) I cannot ignore the earnestness and the willingness to just fuckin try something here. The art direction, the atmosphere, the music, the tones.
No it's not Silent Hill 3 but it worked for me and captured me in ways that I really didn't expect. That last chunk of the game really fuckin hit me.
Does it absolutely stumble on getting across some of its ideas and concepts? Yeah.
Are the chase sequences a bit rough? Yeah.
I still really fucked with this and everything it was doing. It gave me a dose of what I've wanted from Silent Hill for a long time, it had a vision and it sees that vision all the way through while trying to mix things up a bit.
I think it handles its themes of trauma and abuse trapping someone emotionally within cycles of self destructive and self distancing behaviors causing lashing out at anything that harms the ego and whatever normalcy one can cling onto fairly well.
I feel like even if it was a bit heavy handed at times (the beginning really tries to hammer home how depressed Anita is in ways that feel really corny) I cannot ignore the earnestness and the willingness to just fuckin try something here. The art direction, the atmosphere, the music, the tones.
No it's not Silent Hill 3 but it worked for me and captured me in ways that I really didn't expect. That last chunk of the game really fuckin hit me.
Tekken 8
2024
holy shit man, THIS is the new standard of fighting games going forward. coolest story mode ever, best graphics of this generation, extremely tight controls that stomp over t7s in every way AND tekken ball? Its fucking perfect. i shouldve known how hard this game was gonna be after seeing how much money bamco went into marketing this game, it was more than worth it.
AI: Art Impostor
2022
It's incredibly funny that they made a game that traces Pokémon designs right after this, insane behavior.
Tekken 3
1997
finally getting into the tekken series and DAMN i was missing out. one of my fav fighters and favorite psx games in general.
plus it has gon :)
plus it has gon :)
Lethal Company
2023
Calling something "good with friends" is often the cruelest thing you can ever say about a multiplayer game. Yeah, you can have fun with friends in basically anything, it turns out friends are good, not Phasmophobia. And it's so easy to see that in Lethal Company, especially from the outside looking in - some bullshit lame horror coop horror game to scream at, acting as the new steam flavour of the month game to merely moisturise the slip and slide of socialisation.
Despite the resemblance, Lethal Company is not that. Flavour of the month, maybe, but versus the thousand souless PC games out there of it's breed it's truly closer to something like Dokapon Kingdom and hell, Dark Souls, for the kinds of emotion and socialisation it brings up.
Because truly, Lethal Company is a game about having a really shit job. There's no real sugarcoating it. It's a game about being explicitly underpaid for dangerous, tedius work salvaging objects from ugly factories, where the corporation you work under and the true majesty of visiting planets and experiencing it's fauna are so stripped back and corporatised that you don't even notice it. This setting and the gameplay really sets out a very clever vibe for the game, as frankly, it on it's own, is almost deliberately not fun, but it is a wonderful way of building up a camraderie between players and really get into the boots of a worker in a bad job slacking and goofing off a bit. On my first playthrough with friends I found some extraodinary catharsis in one of the gang spending some of our quota on a jukebox playing license free music and just having a jam for a while, and likewise, a good haul which takes some of the pressure off others is appreciated, and the "man in the chair" - the guy left behind at the ship to deal with doors, turrets etc, feels both valued as part of the team, but also themselves lonely, tense, awaiting their friend's safe return.
It is also, as a more obvious point, very funny. Basically every run of this game you'll make something funny will happen. A comrade fumbles a wonky jump to their death based on bad information. You walk just inside the range of your comrade's voice to hear them screaming for help for half a second. You watch as the man in the chair as a giant red dot slowly bears down on your comrade, try to warn them and then see the red dot taking delight in eating them, and there's so much more. It's surprising really as a game with so little going on in gameplay and so limited in variety of stuff that it keeps on bringing up new stupid shit to happen.
Its rarely legitimately scary, even in the rare case you're alone amongst monsters with all your friends dead. The stakes established are just set too low, the animations a bit too goofy for the intensity to ever feel too much. And that kinda folds back in on that "shit job" thematic of the whole thing. Being almost indifferent to the surprising variety of monsters, seeing them as much as obstacles as hell demons that want to eat your face, is ultimately part of the job. Yes, the fourth angel from Evangelion wandering around whilst you slowly crouchwalk across the map to your ship is tense, but almost amusingly tense. Gotta roll with it.
It's a delightful experience, really. If you wanted to you could linger on how cobbled together the whole thing feels right now and how limited the actual gameplay really is, but they do nothing to take away from the truly great times Lethal Company sparks. The closest a game will ever get to being on the last day of your christmas contract with debenhams and just slacking with the other temps, giving people discounts on their items for no good reason and occasionally the weeping angels from doctor who come out with a giant spider and they're in the ONE hallway that leads back to the exit and Ernesto is dead, damn.
Despite the resemblance, Lethal Company is not that. Flavour of the month, maybe, but versus the thousand souless PC games out there of it's breed it's truly closer to something like Dokapon Kingdom and hell, Dark Souls, for the kinds of emotion and socialisation it brings up.
Because truly, Lethal Company is a game about having a really shit job. There's no real sugarcoating it. It's a game about being explicitly underpaid for dangerous, tedius work salvaging objects from ugly factories, where the corporation you work under and the true majesty of visiting planets and experiencing it's fauna are so stripped back and corporatised that you don't even notice it. This setting and the gameplay really sets out a very clever vibe for the game, as frankly, it on it's own, is almost deliberately not fun, but it is a wonderful way of building up a camraderie between players and really get into the boots of a worker in a bad job slacking and goofing off a bit. On my first playthrough with friends I found some extraodinary catharsis in one of the gang spending some of our quota on a jukebox playing license free music and just having a jam for a while, and likewise, a good haul which takes some of the pressure off others is appreciated, and the "man in the chair" - the guy left behind at the ship to deal with doors, turrets etc, feels both valued as part of the team, but also themselves lonely, tense, awaiting their friend's safe return.
It is also, as a more obvious point, very funny. Basically every run of this game you'll make something funny will happen. A comrade fumbles a wonky jump to their death based on bad information. You walk just inside the range of your comrade's voice to hear them screaming for help for half a second. You watch as the man in the chair as a giant red dot slowly bears down on your comrade, try to warn them and then see the red dot taking delight in eating them, and there's so much more. It's surprising really as a game with so little going on in gameplay and so limited in variety of stuff that it keeps on bringing up new stupid shit to happen.
Its rarely legitimately scary, even in the rare case you're alone amongst monsters with all your friends dead. The stakes established are just set too low, the animations a bit too goofy for the intensity to ever feel too much. And that kinda folds back in on that "shit job" thematic of the whole thing. Being almost indifferent to the surprising variety of monsters, seeing them as much as obstacles as hell demons that want to eat your face, is ultimately part of the job. Yes, the fourth angel from Evangelion wandering around whilst you slowly crouchwalk across the map to your ship is tense, but almost amusingly tense. Gotta roll with it.
It's a delightful experience, really. If you wanted to you could linger on how cobbled together the whole thing feels right now and how limited the actual gameplay really is, but they do nothing to take away from the truly great times Lethal Company sparks. The closest a game will ever get to being on the last day of your christmas contract with debenhams and just slacking with the other temps, giving people discounts on their items for no good reason and occasionally the weeping angels from doctor who come out with a giant spider and they're in the ONE hallway that leads back to the exit and Ernesto is dead, damn.
Jet Set Radio
TBD
This review was written before the game released
I FUCKING WIN
Zubo
2008
ITS FUCKING ZUBO FOR THE NINTENDO DS BABYYYYYYY YEAHHHHHHHHHH WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BANGER SOUNDTRACK BANGER GAMEPLAY THERE'S A BRITISH GIRL WITH PINK HAIR THERE'S A ROBOT THERE'S A ZOMBIE THIS GAME FUUUUUUUUUUUCKSSSSSSSS FUCK YOU IF YOU DONT LIKE ZUBO FOR THE NINTENDO DS FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUF UCK YOU I LOVE TAPPING THE TOUCH SCREEN I LOVE MUSIC THIS GAMEI S AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I WANT BIG HEAD TO GIVE ME BIG HEAD WOOOOOOOOOOOO
BANGER SOUNDTRACK BANGER GAMEPLAY THERE'S A BRITISH GIRL WITH PINK HAIR THERE'S A ROBOT THERE'S A ZOMBIE THIS GAME FUUUUUUUUUUUCKSSSSSSSS FUCK YOU IF YOU DONT LIKE ZUBO FOR THE NINTENDO DS FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUF UCK YOU I LOVE TAPPING THE TOUCH SCREEN I LOVE MUSIC THIS GAMEI S AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I WANT BIG HEAD TO GIVE ME BIG HEAD WOOOOOOOOOOOO
DC Universe Online
2011
Playing this with friends was the closest we'll ever get to a solid online superhero experience. There was some freedom and extensive charm here that a lot of games have tried hard to capture and hold onto for the lifespan this game has had. I wish there was a marvel counterpart though
This review contains spoilers
What I'll say here will sound counter-intuitive and somewhat inflammatory, but I genuinely believe in what I'll be saying so strap in.
I've attempted to play this game countless times on, let's say not original hardware, and throughout all those attempts I never made a dent past the second level. It is a grueling, tedious slog that sends you back on your way like a Chaplin-esque pratfall at your expense. You as Jekyll, attempting to make your way to your wedding and fighting the Hyde inside you, must face the many MANY obstacles ahead. Whether they be the work of demons silently influencing the townsfolk or natural mishaps and provocations that'll send Jekyll over the edge to Hyde. You are challenged to keep Jekyll calm amidst this constant chaos lest he turn to Hyde and either regain his composure or die right where he began.
As I've said, it is grueling, it is tedious, and I haven't even seen far into the game myself. However I can't help but be captivated by anti-game meta narrative at play, intended or not it gives me the kind of feeling that might drive people who play Pathologic to keep going with that game. You have to succeed as Jekyll, resist temptation of falling back as Hyde and being overwhelmed by your demons and triumph non-violently, turning the other cheek to all the vitriol the game itself throws at you. It's a Sisyphean task, and isn't that enticing in of itself? I don't have to beat it to appreciate that built into the very gameplay is a greek tragedy that instills the horror of the original story into the meta narrative, that instills it within the player. Maybe I'm a masochist, but I'll pop this game in every now and then just to enjoy the atmosphere of it all, the beautiful daytime stroll belying the bubbling anxiety and dread of becoming the monster again and undoing the progress you've so carefully maintained.
And I do have to compliment the atmosphere, the artistry of the game. The music has this victorian gothic kind of flavor that sets the mood for the game perfectly, and the pixel art just as well. The palette chosen and the black outlined style pixel art make for a kind of pulpy horror feel that is just great, especially in the Hyde section under the moonlight and with everything in ruins and facing ugly odd demons. It's the NES sure, and it's primitive, but I think they made the most with the limitations and it makes for a good horror mood. Add to that the limited story that, without dialogue presents itself clearly and the stakes understood through its' gameplay. I really appreciate the effort put into making a good and bad ending, however limited, that feels true to the story and doesn't just give a saccharine happy end. The boss fight at the end, which in the Japanese version when the boss dies has a silhouette of the main demon impaled on the Church's cross, and that's a pretty damn awesome conclusion, as well as the ambiguity of the wedding scene where the monster in Jekyll still lives... It's just real neat little story details! And while nes RPGs and games like Ninja Gaiden have more fleshed out stories, the implied story in this game plus the gameplay further nailing down the themes makes it special in my eyes.
All this to say, I'll probably never beat this game in my lifetime, and there's a lot unfair about it that could be done better. Could this game having a dodge roll for Jekyll make it so much better? I think so, as a further nonviolent approach, but maybe that clashes with the whole idea of Jekyll "keeping his composure". All in all, I think this game does something really cool with its sparse horror narrative, its chilling atmosphere and art, and anxiety inducing gameplay that comes together to make a game that is a futile effort that you can appreciate. This could've been just a Castlevania type throw potions to kill enemies as Jekyll and save the princess type game par for the course, and a lot of people wanted that out of it I think. But I really DO appreciate it as this kinda anti-game where you have to beat it as a composed non-violent Jekyll, perhaps stumbling as Hyde along the way, but still just moving forward against all the frustration and odds with a brisk walk through the English countryside.
TL;DR : This but unironically https://youtu.be/EjXn5qiM8Zw?t=903
I've attempted to play this game countless times on, let's say not original hardware, and throughout all those attempts I never made a dent past the second level. It is a grueling, tedious slog that sends you back on your way like a Chaplin-esque pratfall at your expense. You as Jekyll, attempting to make your way to your wedding and fighting the Hyde inside you, must face the many MANY obstacles ahead. Whether they be the work of demons silently influencing the townsfolk or natural mishaps and provocations that'll send Jekyll over the edge to Hyde. You are challenged to keep Jekyll calm amidst this constant chaos lest he turn to Hyde and either regain his composure or die right where he began.
As I've said, it is grueling, it is tedious, and I haven't even seen far into the game myself. However I can't help but be captivated by anti-game meta narrative at play, intended or not it gives me the kind of feeling that might drive people who play Pathologic to keep going with that game. You have to succeed as Jekyll, resist temptation of falling back as Hyde and being overwhelmed by your demons and triumph non-violently, turning the other cheek to all the vitriol the game itself throws at you. It's a Sisyphean task, and isn't that enticing in of itself? I don't have to beat it to appreciate that built into the very gameplay is a greek tragedy that instills the horror of the original story into the meta narrative, that instills it within the player. Maybe I'm a masochist, but I'll pop this game in every now and then just to enjoy the atmosphere of it all, the beautiful daytime stroll belying the bubbling anxiety and dread of becoming the monster again and undoing the progress you've so carefully maintained.
And I do have to compliment the atmosphere, the artistry of the game. The music has this victorian gothic kind of flavor that sets the mood for the game perfectly, and the pixel art just as well. The palette chosen and the black outlined style pixel art make for a kind of pulpy horror feel that is just great, especially in the Hyde section under the moonlight and with everything in ruins and facing ugly odd demons. It's the NES sure, and it's primitive, but I think they made the most with the limitations and it makes for a good horror mood. Add to that the limited story that, without dialogue presents itself clearly and the stakes understood through its' gameplay. I really appreciate the effort put into making a good and bad ending, however limited, that feels true to the story and doesn't just give a saccharine happy end. The boss fight at the end, which in the Japanese version when the boss dies has a silhouette of the main demon impaled on the Church's cross, and that's a pretty damn awesome conclusion, as well as the ambiguity of the wedding scene where the monster in Jekyll still lives... It's just real neat little story details! And while nes RPGs and games like Ninja Gaiden have more fleshed out stories, the implied story in this game plus the gameplay further nailing down the themes makes it special in my eyes.
All this to say, I'll probably never beat this game in my lifetime, and there's a lot unfair about it that could be done better. Could this game having a dodge roll for Jekyll make it so much better? I think so, as a further nonviolent approach, but maybe that clashes with the whole idea of Jekyll "keeping his composure". All in all, I think this game does something really cool with its sparse horror narrative, its chilling atmosphere and art, and anxiety inducing gameplay that comes together to make a game that is a futile effort that you can appreciate. This could've been just a Castlevania type throw potions to kill enemies as Jekyll and save the princess type game par for the course, and a lot of people wanted that out of it I think. But I really DO appreciate it as this kinda anti-game where you have to beat it as a composed non-violent Jekyll, perhaps stumbling as Hyde along the way, but still just moving forward against all the frustration and odds with a brisk walk through the English countryside.
TL;DR : This but unironically https://youtu.be/EjXn5qiM8Zw?t=903
hello it is me the real dr jekyl and mr hyde and this game is only kind of bad
it's good actually https://youtu.be/tNKY_SbMb10?si=RoFEewJ-qae9lExN