koirds
12 reviews liked by koirds
This review contains spoilers
Spoilered because it gets gross.
I'm going into this Backloggd thing with the goal of honing in how I look at video games critically. One of the things I'm seeing is that games I score this low are abject failures of some caliber. Maybe they are amusing in how thoroughly they fail. Maybe they completely and thoroughly befuddle me in their failure. And maybe they just pissed me off. Shaq Fu 2 is definitely the latter category.
I am all for the idea of a self-aware successor to a bad meme game. I only know the original Shaq Fu by reputation, but it's the perfect candidate for this sort of thing. I legitimately was excited for this - not enough to buy it, but enough to rent it from the video store for a weekend playthrough. I looked forward to seeing what they'd do this time around, especially since they were treating this one like a soft reboot.
So the setup is that Shaq was discovered by a Chinese peasant woman, Baby Moses style. He's destined to be the chosen one, so a martial arts master trains him. Shaq gets his chance to fulfill his destiny as a young adult, when a pack of demons disguised as celebrities try to take over the world.
Decent enough setup, okay. I will admit, I very rarely am able to get into celebrity parodies. I'm generally not in touch enough with mainstream pop culture to get these sorts of references while they're relevant. As a consequence, by the time I get to a celebrity parody, it usually feels super outdated. I think some of these were dated on release - even I know that 2018 was late for Justin Bieber and Mel Gibson circa Braveheart parodies - but some stuff like the Trump parody would have been contemporary. So while I personally feel that something like a Trump parody is something destined to feel dated (and I know it doesn't seem like it somedays; just give it time), I get if that's your thing. Entirely fair.
But, like... I fucking hate this game's sense of humor? Like the mentor figure's an old gay pervert who sexually harassed teen Shaq, the Chinese village ("Hunglo"; I know that's likely to be a Shadow Warrior shout-out as much as anything, but still) is littered with washing machines and conical hat stores, the game reached for a nonbinary "assuming my gender" joke then later has the lamest comedic takes I've seen on Nazis and Klansmen...
All that's the low-effort shit. What about high effort? Well, for one, there's the Kim Kardashian parody, who turns into a giant floating ass with wriggling cellulite, and it attacks by having violent taco shits, which the game giddily describes as "Brownbeard's Revenge".
There is basically nothing for me to like here. I don't find the moveset or power-ups interesting, I don't find the levels interesting, the gameplay animation is either basic or gross, the plot basically devolves into crass and crude edgy and referential humor without any real heart or charm. There are no unique mechanics or meaningful challenges, nothing that iterates upon the genre or acts as more than a momentary distraction. You get endless retries, so just get back up and go. No multiplayer, either. Just grind out the game, put it back in its jewel case, and put it away forever.
I'm not gonna pretend I'm the end-all-be-all authority to what does and doesn't make for good media. If you liked this game, man, I'm not gonna tell you you can't. I'm just saying, this was thoroughly not what I'm looking for in a video game.
...it is kind of cute that Icy Hots heal you. I'll give the game that.
I'm going into this Backloggd thing with the goal of honing in how I look at video games critically. One of the things I'm seeing is that games I score this low are abject failures of some caliber. Maybe they are amusing in how thoroughly they fail. Maybe they completely and thoroughly befuddle me in their failure. And maybe they just pissed me off. Shaq Fu 2 is definitely the latter category.
I am all for the idea of a self-aware successor to a bad meme game. I only know the original Shaq Fu by reputation, but it's the perfect candidate for this sort of thing. I legitimately was excited for this - not enough to buy it, but enough to rent it from the video store for a weekend playthrough. I looked forward to seeing what they'd do this time around, especially since they were treating this one like a soft reboot.
So the setup is that Shaq was discovered by a Chinese peasant woman, Baby Moses style. He's destined to be the chosen one, so a martial arts master trains him. Shaq gets his chance to fulfill his destiny as a young adult, when a pack of demons disguised as celebrities try to take over the world.
Decent enough setup, okay. I will admit, I very rarely am able to get into celebrity parodies. I'm generally not in touch enough with mainstream pop culture to get these sorts of references while they're relevant. As a consequence, by the time I get to a celebrity parody, it usually feels super outdated. I think some of these were dated on release - even I know that 2018 was late for Justin Bieber and Mel Gibson circa Braveheart parodies - but some stuff like the Trump parody would have been contemporary. So while I personally feel that something like a Trump parody is something destined to feel dated (and I know it doesn't seem like it somedays; just give it time), I get if that's your thing. Entirely fair.
But, like... I fucking hate this game's sense of humor? Like the mentor figure's an old gay pervert who sexually harassed teen Shaq, the Chinese village ("Hunglo"; I know that's likely to be a Shadow Warrior shout-out as much as anything, but still) is littered with washing machines and conical hat stores, the game reached for a nonbinary "assuming my gender" joke then later has the lamest comedic takes I've seen on Nazis and Klansmen...
All that's the low-effort shit. What about high effort? Well, for one, there's the Kim Kardashian parody, who turns into a giant floating ass with wriggling cellulite, and it attacks by having violent taco shits, which the game giddily describes as "Brownbeard's Revenge".
There is basically nothing for me to like here. I don't find the moveset or power-ups interesting, I don't find the levels interesting, the gameplay animation is either basic or gross, the plot basically devolves into crass and crude edgy and referential humor without any real heart or charm. There are no unique mechanics or meaningful challenges, nothing that iterates upon the genre or acts as more than a momentary distraction. You get endless retries, so just get back up and go. No multiplayer, either. Just grind out the game, put it back in its jewel case, and put it away forever.
I'm not gonna pretend I'm the end-all-be-all authority to what does and doesn't make for good media. If you liked this game, man, I'm not gonna tell you you can't. I'm just saying, this was thoroughly not what I'm looking for in a video game.
...it is kind of cute that Icy Hots heal you. I'll give the game that.
Rain World
2017
Consistently and entirely brutal. Difficulty is often punishing and unfair, visuals are always brand new and overwhelming, narrative is usually obscure yet in ways direct and in tandem with visual aspects. While I think it's brutal aspects are sometimes detracting, they are mostly enhancing the feeling of prey in a predator's world. Uniquely minimal in ways that are deceptive, vast, and packed with detail and attention to achieve a look and feel unlike any other platformer I've played. A survival game in which you are destroyed.
Bugsnax
2020
In a culture of greed, gluttony, and corn syrup, the amount of slop that we put into our bodies (myself included) goes right past our eyes. It's only fairly recently have we been able to see more and more of how our food is made, and how ineffectively it is distributed. Look up the food safety section on Wikipedia. If it's anything I want to take from this game, it's that you should be aware of what you eat. Be very aware of what you eat. Also, really cute creature design! Cheepoof definitely takes my crown. Also in love with Bunger as everyone should be. Bunger Bunger. Hahahaa.
Inscryption
2021
He was really close this time around. I almost found myself believing that there was greatness here. I mean there's not many games that start better than this one, with such perfectly executed atmosphere, one with charm through it's eerie mystery it shrouds itself in. As more layers get revealed, excitement brews, and I feel so gripped. What follows is more Mullins busywork puzzles, a fairly messy and annoying final act, and an ending that is almost literally the same as his last game. It's frustrating to see a concept as fresh as this go used in a way that feels so familiar, even in just the developer's previous works, and would rather opt in suspended disbelief in supernatural rather than curating something substantial. It's extremely well made, with art doing so much more than enough, along with the music, and having all of it feel cohesive despite dramatic shifts in every angle. Wish it did more to complete itself, however. Instead it unfinishes.
Visual storytelling weaved into game design in a way that is urgent and inconspicuous, yet simultaneously unrelenting and unpredictable. Will Isaac be able to escape today? It's a dumb question. I mean, you're digging down the entire time. This was never a world he was meant to leave, but more so a world that had left him there. Youth trauma is eternal. There is never a world you can live in again other than the one you were introduced to. You show a child hell, they'll be there forever. And forever Isaac will remain. What a privilege it is to breathe.
Starbound
2016
This game is real good when you don't have someone yapping in your ear how bad it is
I think I might genuinely have more love in my heart for this game than any mainline Pokemon game. Deep seeded nostalgia and oh so many tears shed.
damn ubisoft sure did just say "heres the next 20 years of video games" and then release this huh
Tekken 8
2024
Mashen 8
Doom
2016
You know this game is fun, even if you haven't played it yet, you know it is fast-paced, violent and light in plot. So just let me tell you a few things that surprise me, for better or for worst
First, the fact that full screen blocks you to that window (Unless you trick the program) is BS and makes the option of borderless completely useless. The fact that you can't skip logos at the start is annoying. And the position of the terminal button can make you press it in the heat of the battle (Which is a problem).
Second, for a game so focus in violence, it is really fun to explore for secrets, specially because the map always tell you where the things are, just not how to get them. The only problem are some levels that block back tracking without warning.
And finally, I'm surprised that I haven't heard as much praise for the progression, because it is excellent, in every level you feel like you are discovering, unlocking or trying something new, that being weapons, weapon mods, runes, powers, enemies, bosses, etc. There's always something exciting to do, and no every game can say that, so I think that deserved a bit more love.
A great game and a must-play if you like shooters
First, the fact that full screen blocks you to that window (Unless you trick the program) is BS and makes the option of borderless completely useless. The fact that you can't skip logos at the start is annoying. And the position of the terminal button can make you press it in the heat of the battle (Which is a problem).
Second, for a game so focus in violence, it is really fun to explore for secrets, specially because the map always tell you where the things are, just not how to get them. The only problem are some levels that block back tracking without warning.
And finally, I'm surprised that I haven't heard as much praise for the progression, because it is excellent, in every level you feel like you are discovering, unlocking or trying something new, that being weapons, weapon mods, runes, powers, enemies, bosses, etc. There's always something exciting to do, and no every game can say that, so I think that deserved a bit more love.
A great game and a must-play if you like shooters