Game Review - originally written by (wraith)

Princesstual Orgy is the touching story of a Japanese comedian, his yoyo, and four fairy princesses. And despite the name of this game, “his yoyo” is not a metaphor for anything (phallic or otherwise).

Anyway, here’s the dilly, yo. You are Tashiro Masashi, a japanese comedian that you probably have never heard of unless you’ve lived in Japan, or are one of those crazy people who creams themselves whenever they think about japanese culture. Anyway, one night Tashiro is awakened by a fairy because she wants him to rescue some fairy princess from the clutches of four evil witches, thus saving the world from the dread Ultra Witch. You know she’s really bad. They don’t just throw the title Ultra out to just any witch.

Easy, right? WRONG. This is, after all, an NES platformer that doesn’t involve Megaman or Mario or the Belmont clan. That means the controls are touchy, Tashiro walks rather slowly, and enemies get to ignore things like walls. Oh, and as soon as anything scrolls off of the screen, it ceases to be. You will be killed by enemies every so often, but not as often as you miss jumps, and not nearly as often as you toss your control pad at the wall.

That’s not to say this is a bad game, it just will try your patience, as do most NES platform games.

Game Review - by Spinner 8

I’ve actually been fortunate enough to play this game on cart, with three other people with rahga’s amazing four-player adapter. (editor's note: insanely jealous. also what kind of lost tech enabled them to do this? NES FourScore isn't compatible with Japanese releases, and the US NES doesn't support Famicom accessories without being extensively hacked) It’s a Technos game, which means two things: one, all the characters look like they do in all the other Technos games, and two, it involves these characters beating the hell out of each other. This is why people love Technos games.

You can play two-on-two, or a four-player free-for-all, or a variety of other stuff. You play in a smallish arena, and beat each other up, and whoever’s left standing wins. Totally fun! When you die you turn into food, which is really weird. So one of the other characters can actually eat your dead hamburger corpse, and gain back some life. The controls are pretty hard to get used to, but once you do you can really kick some ass.
(editor's note: this game has since received an official English translation in the Kunio-kun & Double Dragon Retro Brawler Bundle)

Game Review - originally written by ???

Sanrio Carnival is just a hodge-podge of various puzzle games, such as “falling candy of doom,” and “rearrange the picture” (better known to some as “Columns,” and “Major Annoyance”). But, it throws in all those loveable Sanrio characters, which makes up for it being a mediocre game. Playing against the computer is entirely boring. However, finding another human player may inject some added fun. But then again, finding another person to play Nitendo is a game unto itself :-P

Game Review - originally written by ???

This is a great game. As the name implies, it’s a volley ball game with Sanrio characters. Which instantly makes it fun. You basically hit the volley ball back and forth until someone misses it or hits it out of bounds. Simple? Yes! But still very fun. You also may have heard a rumor that that Kunio Volley Ball game kicks this game’s ass in. Well, that rumor is just wrong. Sorry Kunio. Well-played, but you just FELL SHORT. This is the real thing folks. Because it’s Sanrio. PLay it! It is commanded of you!

Game Review - originally written by ???

I used to get a kick outta playing shufflepuck on the Macs at my High School, it was about the only “game” they had, so I grew quite addicted to it =]. Hence I love this game, seedy Sci-Fi plot and all.

If you’re not aware what shuffle puck is, it’s a lot like air hockey: there’s a flat playing surface with a “puck.” The two players sit at opposite ends of the table, and use a paddle to hit the puck back and forth across the table until it slips by one of the players, which scores them a point. This game is very good at re-creating that. In fact, too good . . . I can’t beat a single person at it to be honest =P. It’s almost like the computer is reading my moves!! If you happen to be addicted to shufflepuck against your will (like I was), you’ll enjoy this game. If you like games that are virtually impossible to beat, you’ll love it. Other wise . . . well . . . some things are better left unsaid.

Game Review - originally written by ???

Softball Heaven plays just like every other Nes baseball game. Except this one is actually fun because you get to play as all sorts of strange animals, mythical figures, and whatnot. You can even be Mike Tyson! Also, there are a bunch of different fields to play on, each with it’s own house rules. Softball Heaven is about as fun as baseball is going to get on the Nes, so you should give it a shot. But then again, Sunday Funday is about as fun the Bible is going to get on the Nes, so I guess that isn’t the best reasoning … aw hell, just play the damn game.

Game Review - originally written by Spinner 8

This is one of those games that really could have benefitted from an instruction manual. People say that this is a Phantasy Star clone, but I wouldn't know, since I've never played them. Yeah yeah, I know, PS rules, shut up. I assume the game is in the future, and it starts out with you crash landing (maybe?) on a planet from which you got a distress signal. It's all very confusing, since you have no clue what anyone's talking about. The items and weapons are equally confusing. The menus are awkward, the status screens are incomprehensible, and the battles are pretty fun, but very sloooow. However, despite everything, it manages to go beyond it all and end up being a pretty fun game. Since you don't know what's going on, it IS quite frustrating. I admit I didn't give it much of a chance, since I can't handle much frustration at six in the morning.

Game Review - originally written by (wraith)

Sugoro Quest is a genre-bender of a game. It’s an RPG, but yet it has many board game elements. It may sound like a strange combination, but it works surprisingly well. It almost comes off as a tabletop RPG simulation.

The back-story is fairly simple. The Kingdom of Siland is plagued with various problems, all of which involve monsters living in caves wreaking havoc on the countryside. Of course, what kind of game would it be if there weren’t fearless heroes to step in and fix things? That’s where the four Dice Heroes step in. The four Dice Heroes will, of course, be under your control.

The four Dice Heroes are your basic stock-issue fantasy characters. There’s the fighter, he’s got a moderately high amount of strength, and a decent balance of everything. There’s the dwarf, who’s got plenty of strength and endurance, but he’s dumb as a brick. There’s the elf, who’s really good at magic but has no HP and very little strength. Then there’s the half-elf, who’s fair and balanced. You must pick one of these characters before each level, and you’re stuck with them until you finish.

Now, all of this may sound cliche, and you’d be correct. But all the cliches in the story are offset but the offbeat game play. Each area is made up of a path that is predetermined for the most part. Every time you move, you roll a die and move that many spaces. Some squares trigger events, which range from encounters with townsfolk, to warp tiles, to healing spring, and more. Some squares have multiple exits, and the one you end up using depends on which character you are, or how you answer a certain question. Any square without an event leads to a battle.

Battle is a bit different compared to most NES role-playing games. You face monsters one-on-one, and each side rolls a die. The side that rolls the higher number gets a number of attack equal to the difference between the die rolls. So if you roll a four and the monster rolls a two, you get two attacks. The loser gets to sit there and take it. In the even of the tie, you keep the tying roll and roll again. The winner of that roll gets to attack, and the defender loses their defenses. Using magic operates on the same principal.

Basically, each level continues like this until you either die, or you reach the cave where the boss resides. Then you can go back to the castle, buy some gear, and get your next assignment, until you finish the game.

If you’re looking for an NES role-playing game that’s a welcome departure from Dragon Warrior and Final Fantasy clones, this game is right up your alley.