I knew about this game before I knew about the movie and when I saw the movie on TV when I was a kid I was genuinely surprised and giddy to see "a movie based on the game"

1997

When I was a kid my parents had one of those label printers that print the black labels with the white embossed letters. My dad had the Nokia brick phone I used to play Snake on as a kid and once he printed out a label that said "PHAT" and stuck it on the phone. Rip phat phone, I know not where you are nor whether you are still intact but you are forever in my memory

I'm technically still playing this but I'm marking it as Completed because, while I'm very near the ending, I don't actually know how long this game is gonna take me to finish and I might forget to change my played status when I actually do finish it. I say that because while it's been a really fun game, good GOD is it fucking long. I've kinda burnt myself out playing it but knowing that I'm so near the finish line, I can't bring myself to drop it. I think it would be a much better game without all the bloated, unnecessary dialogue/text convos, tropey anime scenarios and the "how about we meet up tomorrow to discuss this further?" bullshit instead of just finishing whatever they needed to do there and then. I've actually found myself wishing this game would just END already so I can call this time well spent and move onto something else.

That being said, it has a really strong start. The first villain is appropriately awful as a human being and sets the tone really well. Meeting new party members and helping to reform society with them quickly becomes an exciting and empowering experience. The campy, comic-style aesthetic is just plain awesome and has cemented this game as one of the most stylish out there without sacrificing its substance, instead adding to it.

Overall, it's a great game that unfortunately overstays its welcome and I could honestly do without the Royal-exclusive last semester as the ethical dilemmas presented therein are only explored on a very superficial level. It kinda made me wish there was a whole game that delved fully into that concept instead of just "you're definitely doing the right thing and your opponent is definitely doing the wrong thing even though you're both kinda doing the same thing just in a different way". It actually put the Phantom Thieves in a less favourable light for me, which is a massive shame. I have enjoyed the game but I can't recommend it without some caveats. I'd recommend it to either a fast gamer, a gamer with a lot of patience for lollygagging and beach/festival episode wankery or just a gamer who really wants to play Persona 5 Royal because - and I would know from experience - this game is so huge that if you really want to play it that badly, you're going to at some point anyways.

It's whatever. I'll have to play again and possibly update my rating/review once the dev adds the extra modes. As of now, it's pretty basic and I kinda wish there was an option to make the text go faster. Other than that, props to the dev for making a very simple game that somehow spawned a whole legion of Milkman fans seemingly overnight. Shit like this makes me want to conduct research into/write a dissertation on the elusive mystery that is the Tumblr sexyman phenomenon because, much like DeviantArt fetish art, while I can never explain what exactly makes a sexyman, I can always recognise one when I see one.

This is such a weird game for me. I have no idea what to rate it because while in hindsight, I think that what I played of it (I got to the third main boss I think?) didn't really do anything that new, I can't say I didn't enjoy it. I ended up quitting because I kept dying at that boss and I just wasn't motivated enough to play anymore since everything was so repetitive and none of the stories for the bosses really stuck with me but it had a lot of potential. The art was awesome, the combat was fine, the story was... there, I guess. Besides that, gameplay and environments were just the same thing over and over again and a lot of the assets were just recycled from Experience's other games. It was obviously made on a budget so I don't get why it's so expensive (and no, being a long game alone does not warrant that hefty a price tag).

Basically, I kind of liked and disliked a lot of the same features at the same time. Plus points for letting me have Kazuo Yashiki from Death Mark (a much better Experience game) in my party, minus points for letting me have Kazuo Yashiki from Death Mark in my party as a cardboard cutout that heals me occasionally instead of actually coming up with new and interesting characters who contribute to a gripping story. I dunno, maybe it's just because I like plot-heavy games but a bit more originality in general couldn't have hurt.

This fucked, my mum thought it was boring as shit but I was obsessed with it. I must have had hundreds of hours on it when I was a kid. There was this rly scary shark that swung around and bit the water around you when you got too close tho. That terrified me
Also Hayley Westenra has a beautiful voice and her music adds so much to the atmosphere

Having fun with it but it's perhaps a tad overpriced. It's £39.99 but feels about £24.99-ish. There are a lot of exciting features/unlockables and I think the game accomplishes its goal of making people connect through fashion and gaming even if they don't speak the same language well enough, but as others have said there's no story mode besides a tutorial and it does feel like there's a lot missing... which I guess there is, since they've already announced that there will be monthly updates (or at least updates in Dec/Jan) introducing new content. If this is how they keep players hooked then fine, and I guess there's not a big gap between them from what I can tell, but it still feels like there are missing features that should already be there. Oh, well, at least they're free.

Oh, and there are genderlocked clothes because of course there fucking are. Just lemme put a guy in a skirt, dammit! Literally your entire concept is bringing people with diverse tastes together through their own unique sense of style and you go to what I can only assume is the extra effort of genderlocking clothes? It's already possible for a male muse to request a skirt; why can't they wear one?

Story time!
When I was a kid my brother and I would always laugh at this game cuz it was "lame", or whatever. We had cringe cousins who played it, after all, and it is only natural for a young brother and sister to bond over laughing at cringe people who play cringe games. But one day, little eleven-year-old RPG-loving me saw the game had been updated and I got curious. So I created an account and started playing it but my brother walked past and saw Artix out of the corner of his eye before I switched tabs, and he asked if I was looking at hentai cuz he saw an anime guy on my screen before I hastily clicked off it. Obviously I said no... he walked past again and I tried to hide my gaming habits once more... but it was too late. I had been outed as an AdventureQuest Worlds player. I still vividly remember how hard he laughed, how desperately I tried to justify myself by insisting the updates had made it cool, and to this day I'm not sure whether it woulda been more or less embarrassing to just put hentai on my screen instead.

Come on guys, this game was not that bad. I coulda spent the whole rest of my life sorting the pupae at the beginning of the game if I wasn't motivated to play the rest of it.

My dad loved this game, he got me to play it when I was very young and I could never beat it but I spent many hours trying! Difficult, but lots of fun.

This review contains spoilers

My favourite part was when Mary said "it's death time" and marked all of them

I'm still mad at how meticulously you had to colour in the tattoos for it to pass as a win. Even my mum got pissed off at that

Also the game asks if you're sure three times whenever you try to quit, these ponyz REALLY do not want you to leave

Okay to be tbh with you I dunno if I'm ever gonna finish this. I'm playing it on someone else's PS4 whenever I go to visit so I can't just play it whenever I want. Anyways I dunno how to rate this. I'll say that it feels far less serious than other games in the series which for me, is kinda... not good? I can enjoy a funny, non-serious game sometimes but I think FF is a series that works better with less cringe, and this game is a bit cringe. It's like FFX-2 but with dudes instead of ladies and instead of giving each other erotic massages they're on a sexually tense road trip in the desert. I could probs sum up the entire game with that sentence alone but I have some more to say.

There are parts I find funny tho. For instance, I like Noctis' weird run and how he just barrels straight towards whatever he's heading to like he's gonna fall over if he goes any faster. I also like how no-one has any spatial awareness and how they're constantly bumping into each other and grunting about it. I really look forward to seeing Prompto's photography and I think it's a genuinely nice feature, even if one of my pictures was undoubtedly of Gladio grinning at the camera while Noct fondled his nipple. Also I think this game is proof that if you put a load of generic J-pop-rock bishies in a piece of media people will simp no matter what. I've seen people say shit like "OMIGOSH PROMPTO IS SOOOO CUTE! I LOVE HIS SMILE 🥰" when to me it just looks like he's pushing his teeth really far forward. Ignis is kinda bad tho.

Combat is whatever

I have no idea what to think of the main story because I haven't reached it yet

This review contains spoilers

When I first heard a very brief synopsis of this game's premise, my response was "oh, so it's basically just anime WALL-E". WALL-E is probably my third or fourth favourite movie of all time and what I truly do believe to be the best love story ever written so I had very high hopes for this game. I was told the last three endings would change me and I'd have a mental breakdown and all that but honestly... I kinda didn't? If anything, ending E (the actual ending to the story) was more uplifting and hopeful to me than emotionally devastating - a message that, even if all seems meaningless, there's always someone there and you should be there for others too, not because you have to but because you want to. And there's nothing wrong with that, but it's not really what I was hoping for out of this game.

I feel a little bad for giving this the rating I did because I went into the game expecting a solid 9 or 10 out of 10 and I got what I believe to be a 7. That's still a good rating by my standards - 3- is bad, 4-6 is mid and 7+ is good - but it didn't really hit me as hard as I thought it would and I'm not sure if that's on me or the game itself. I'd say it has something to do with the game's conflicts being largely philosophical and relying on the player's own conscience rather than within the actual game itself. In a way, it makes sense; the characters are androids/machines so the player is forced to accept from the beginning that any emotion we see expressed is a result of the characters' programming and the player's own projection of their emotions onto the characters, which is actually kind of genius given the existentialist themes the game explores. Still, that combined with not much downtime for the characters to just talk and rest for a moment does carry the unintended consequence of seeming slightly cold. I know these characters care for each other but everything has to develop at breakneck speed, and ultimately everything stems from their sense of duty. The emotional aspects could have spent a bit longer in the oven.

I felt like some twists were a little lacking/disappointing. For instance, around when I was playing route B I really expected the machines to be vessels for human souls, which I think would have made for a far darker surprise while not detracting from the game's core themes. What takes precedence: destroying machines to reclaim humanity's home or letting the machines live because they are a part of humanity? That's the kind of twist I wanted and unfortunately, it ain't what I got.

Speaking of route B, I'm aware this is a common gripe so perhaps it goes without saying but there was no reason for routes A/B to be separate. They could have just been condensed into one like routes C/D, and it kind of baffles me that they weren't because it was really well done in C/D. Everything flowed naturally there and didn't feel disjointed, which is really difficult to achieve in an episodic format so I have to give them props for that.

Now, onto what I did like. Like many others, I really enjoyed the music, especially Song Of The Ancients, Voice Of No Return and City Ruins. I'm glad the latter song in particular stood out because it's likely what's you're going to be hearing the most and I've always thought more games should put effort into making the more commonly-heard tracks just as enjoyable as the less frequently-heard ones. Goes to show that more "epic" moments can still have weight and great background music without being overshadowed by other good tracks.

Visually, it's beautiful. I know that the graphics aren't technically as stunning as other games of the time but it still holds up and the game has a very cinematic feel to it without feeling too much like I'm just playing a movie with no immersion. The designs are very striking and distinct despite the main three looking practically identical in terms of their colour palettes. Also, the locations were awesome. I especially loved the amusement park; when I first approached the entrance, I really felt 2B/9S' bewilderment.

As much as I feel like the game doesn't do as much with its message as it could, I will say it isn't afraid to take risks in other areas. Having 2B die halfway through with the bunker gone was a bold choice, so respect. It also isn't afraid to be thought-provoking. With your sense of purpose gone, do you carry on living for yourself or do you seek one out by any means necessary, or do you just give up and die instead? Do you hang on to whatever remaining hope you once had or do you try to find something new to live for? Is it better to die as yourself, trauma and all, or live as an empty shell in the hopes that you'll find some new happiness?

I'm not sure I have too much else to say, which may be a good thing as this review's getting pretty long. In conclusion, it's a good game - good enough for me to play it to the end and enjoy it - and there are definitely people I could recommend it to but it's a bit unpolished and doesn't go quite as far as I'd hoped. If only this had a bit longer to develop, it could have been at least an 8 for me.

I cannot describe to you the absolute earth-shattering, scream-cry-inducing fear I felt when Skorne chastised little four-year-old me for missing an obelisk