I think the reason I keep coming back to TOEE more happily than other similar titles is to gaze at its massive testicles at display. If computer turn based rpg's equated to dungeon masters, Divinity: Original Sin would be a massive dudebro stoner; ask him if you can try doing X thing and he'll answer with "nahhh idk bro the boss is immune to that shit" after which he'll go back to lighting blunts and introducing random innocent dogs in the encounter to totally hilariously die in the crossfire. TOEE, on the other hand, is a more chill dude, sticking to the classics but understanding the importance of FUN; ask if you can charm the boss so that they in turn would aoe slaughter their allies he'll answer with a simple "sure". It's a higher roll but a cracked mage should be doing powerful things, no? Glitterdust completely KO-ing giants out of fights? Yeah knock yourself out. Temple is archaic in ways and sticks to rimming the PnP experience far too much, but still soars freer than the pretenders.

The notion that some people are just needlessly upset at the publisher when every new problem in the game can be attributed to said publisher is really disingenous. By the heavens, the game is now more easily playable on modern systems without patches and workarounds so it's all okay now. Nevermind that the overwhelming feeling that Beamdog themselves don't seem like huge fans of the game (or that they've even played it(?)) remains. The sweeping beginning of Baldur's Gate stars an adventurer on the run, fleeing from forces far above their power and understanding. Needing all the help they can get, in 99% of cases if they kept to the main road and followed the plot, their party will consist of a pair of duos (for brevity's sake let's call them A and B and X and Y for the moment) as well as their childhood friend. Almost as soon as they arrive to the first town they'll witness an unfamiliar scene of a mage girl running from some magethorities and get a chance to recruit her to their party. Beamdog's novelties feel like kickstarter goals in modern titles and stick out like sore thumbs, but at least Pillars of Eternity never forces you to interact with the gold name-plated colorful godlikes like Hatsun'ay Meekuh found in the world. Beamdog doesn't care about this weird lil consent thingy people keep bringing up; their shiny OC's WILL interupt you with cutscenes where you can see just how badass and cool that orc guy really is. It will insist on you picking up this, admittedly very powerful, sassy elf mage girl, nevermind that you are also on the run and trying to keep a low profile, for what are we but fighters against this world's injustice? Naturally, the party limit is 6 meaning you either lose the inseparable duo AB or the duo XY or your childhood friend if you're feeling really devious at the moment. All this pedantry of course prompted one of the most popular mods for the enhanced edition to remove the NPCs from the game; you've asked for no pickles but you gotta remove them yourself. Personally I don't want this sandwich nor do I want the manager involved, so where can I get the original? Well Beamdog pulled it from shelves naturally to charge more $$$. Grim.

Perhaps the most fitting quality of this star successor are its production values; the music SOARS straight from the opening screen asking you to listen for the astral train's imminent lift-off instead of tabbing out till the updates are finished; the comfy town on a snowy planet calls you with its timeless visuals, SA SE SOO the singing calls for you to explore, prodding imagination at what lies ahead. Characters have these elaborate rule-of-cool ultimate animations where they re-enact the Matrix lobby scene or sit and drink tea while a satellite eviscerates their foes with a blinding ray of planetary destruction. Before you know it you're battling some ice goddess bitch that's nuking your party with meteors while an almost Kill-la-Kill-esque track blares but that's not all you stupid idiot there's a giant mech as well punching her frosty ass on its turn and... really it's all thanks to the unsung heroes, the gacha paypigs that made it all happen.

But, BUT wait a minute... Hoyoverse... HoYo... In many gaming news outlets it was stated that the entirety of the Teyvat chapter of Genshin so far was written by a singular golden snub-nosed monkey, a species of primates endemic to rather minor mountainous forest areas of central and southwest China; the CEO of the now multi-billion dollar giant took the opportunity to save one of these endangered creatures by offering it an important work spot in early 2017 - a lead writer for their new sprawling open world fantasy rpg. A touching story for sure but as much as I love animals they don't always understand nuance. Maybe the number of creative apes in the writing team has doubled however, because a lot here is actually charming. If it wasn't apparent I've clocked out of the main story quickly, but it's usually the side stuff that attracts me more in these kinds of games. Fulfilling the repressed raccoon fantasy of conversing with trashcans, finding alternate universes inside furniture, questioning Nigerian princes via random payphones... Dealing with stowaway on my own Ebon Hawk, responding to March's stupid text messages with the cringekino options (not picking these is soulless) without chastisements of some mentally deficient flying toddler, taking pictures of Himeko's Himekos, really the optional stuff is what makes this mostly flat-plane world feel alive (though the 120kg (~260lb) aerobics enthusiasts disagree, swearing a jump button would somehow help more with that).

Will keep at it until the inevitable burnout, nice to see the CRPG (C for Chinese to distinguish from fellow JRPGs) revival still going strong, I haven't even got around to Underrail yet. :(