yjesque
5 reviews liked by yjesque
Intravenous
2021
please god. stop giving the best gameplay to the worst narratives.
Resident Evil 5
2009
Oh my fucking god I had tears in my eyes from how hilariously racist this game is. The level of incompetence you could get out of Capcom between 2007-2015 was chefs kiss. And momma-mia this game is a spicy fuckaroni.
Great joy comes at the thought of culturally isolated Japanese people not thinking twice about having their zombie game take place in Africa and have the virus operate like Ebola. Don't worry, the main character is an out-of-place porcelain white dude dressed like Team America World Police agent soldier shooterman. The main villain is a nazi who cosplays as a netrunner from The Matrix. This concept will go really well guys trust me.
The actual fucked thing is the game doesn't do anything cool with it's African setting. Just favela-style infrastructure with melanated folks with huge bloodshot eyes. A majority of the game is just bland building structures that could be anywhere in the world. Boring.
Sheeva is a cool character that should have been the main character, but nothing is done with her other than to spout quips and be the living embodiment of "I'm not racist I have a black friend." as Chris tests Stand Your Ground laws by roundhousing a dude into a ramshackle fish market stand.
Aside from mowing down tribalists in wooden masks who chuck spears at you with a machine gun, the game's racism greatly tones down from Chapter 2 on. The game does a good job of making YOU feel racist by having the pacing fun slow way down after you stop slitting the throats of people and dogs in the street in exchange for some brain-dead puzzles and unengaging co-op platforming.
This game doesn't see color, because everything is brown as fuck. This game was peak sepia-toned nonsense. Fear not, because some sections are instead straight-up gray. You were supposed to be impressed by the HD textures and console performance instead of the color palette. Time has been unkind to that choice.
If this game didn't have good co-op for it's time I think this would have been...not as well received. It's co-op is still fun, but I played through the first couple chapters by myself and I was bored out of my mind. The game structure and setting are mind-numbingly dull compared to RE4. The trends it chased didn't pay off.
This is the perfect Steam gift for that divorced uncle who loves bringing up that Africans owned slaves too.
Great joy comes at the thought of culturally isolated Japanese people not thinking twice about having their zombie game take place in Africa and have the virus operate like Ebola. Don't worry, the main character is an out-of-place porcelain white dude dressed like Team America World Police agent soldier shooterman. The main villain is a nazi who cosplays as a netrunner from The Matrix. This concept will go really well guys trust me.
The actual fucked thing is the game doesn't do anything cool with it's African setting. Just favela-style infrastructure with melanated folks with huge bloodshot eyes. A majority of the game is just bland building structures that could be anywhere in the world. Boring.
Sheeva is a cool character that should have been the main character, but nothing is done with her other than to spout quips and be the living embodiment of "I'm not racist I have a black friend." as Chris tests Stand Your Ground laws by roundhousing a dude into a ramshackle fish market stand.
Aside from mowing down tribalists in wooden masks who chuck spears at you with a machine gun, the game's racism greatly tones down from Chapter 2 on. The game does a good job of making YOU feel racist by having the pacing fun slow way down after you stop slitting the throats of people and dogs in the street in exchange for some brain-dead puzzles and unengaging co-op platforming.
This game doesn't see color, because everything is brown as fuck. This game was peak sepia-toned nonsense. Fear not, because some sections are instead straight-up gray. You were supposed to be impressed by the HD textures and console performance instead of the color palette. Time has been unkind to that choice.
If this game didn't have good co-op for it's time I think this would have been...not as well received. It's co-op is still fun, but I played through the first couple chapters by myself and I was bored out of my mind. The game structure and setting are mind-numbingly dull compared to RE4. The trends it chased didn't pay off.
This is the perfect Steam gift for that divorced uncle who loves bringing up that Africans owned slaves too.
Kingdom Two Crowns
2018
Gf put me on, very pretty lookin game, nice music n sounds. I just wish there was a lil more to do
Kingdom Hearts II
2005
One of the first games I ever played along with Halo. Incredible storytelling n score fr I could cry every time I hear dearly beloved. Some would say the Disney characters are cringe. I would say they hate fun.
Logging this instead of the individual games so my gf can't tell which one is my fav laughing emoji
Halo should be in the conversation when we talk about the grandfathers of the first person shooter genre SUE ME!
Halo should be in the conversation when we talk about the grandfathers of the first person shooter genre SUE ME!