zeusdeegoose
ZeusDeeGoose's 1 Year + 50 Follower Celebration, hope you enjoy the review!
On April 27th, 2023, a young and scrappy little spirit named “zeusdeegoose” would enter the realm dubbed Backloggd. Hot off the trails of a game that infuriated him to no end, he started to write. The words echoed in his mind. “Ragequit on World 3 Boss. There was much frustration during my time with the game and as a whole, it leaves a lot to be desired.” This would become the start of something greater, and spiraled into nearly a hundred reviews spanning across several games. Life was simple for him, and he was happy. This was until a fateful day. On February 22nd, he was reminded of his not so distant past. It haunted him to no avail, but he knew what he had to do. So, he started to write. And write, and write, and write. With his demons finally sealed off, he now rests knowing well that the task has been completed. What was on this pact? You shall find out, soon enough.
If you didn't know, Super Meat Boy was the indie darling from Edmund McMillen and Tommy Refenes, and Danny Baranowsky, who did the music. It was supposed to be a one-and-done platformer, with McMillen and Refenes have stated that a sequel was unlikely, at least until 2015, where they said that it could happen eventually, after Forever released. At GDC 2011, Tommy began prototyping for what would become Super Meat Boy Forever. And thus, started the 9 year long agony. Damny left in around 2015, and Edmund eventually left in 2017, leaving only Tommy. Development was essentially reset, with a new goal in mind. This time, however, Forever was bulked up to be the sequel to Super Meat Boy that EVERYONE was waiting for. And after numerous delays, Forever was finally released on December 23rd, 2020… to no avail. Critics gave a lukewarm reception to the game. There were some 9/10s, a concerning amount of 8/10’s, but a majority of critics were in the yellow on this game. Meanwhile, the Meat Boy fans who’ve been waiting for 9 fucking years with no game were understandably pretty pissed off. But they weren't just upset. They were FLABBERGASTED at how bad the game actually was. I was genuinely curious. Could this game be that horrendous? I wanted to buy it, but due to the Epic Games deal, I held off on it until 2023, where I finished Super Meat Boy, and then I bought Forever almost immediately afterwards. My feelings were almost entirely negative, and after a while, I straight up refunded the game. With no regrets, I moved on to other, better games. And that brings us to today. Where it was free on Epic Games for a week (Fuck Fallout ig). And, as a celebration for gaining over 50 followers on this site, and as well as being the first game I ever logged here, I guess there’s no better time to FINALLY re-review Super Meat Boy Forever. SO, after a long period of waiting, Super Meat Boy Forever is finally getting the long ass review treatment it deserves. Let’s-a-go.
Right off the bat, I do have a few compliments before we get into the absolute slaughterhouse that is this game. First off, the presentation and music of the game is actually pretty decent. A minor issue I had with Super Meat Boy is that while the art was good, the game didn’t have a very punchy style. Super Meat Boy Forever fixes this. Each asset has a clearly defined outline, making it easier to distinguish different things from another. It doesn’t look as good as the prototype, which had Edmund’s art style as Newgrounds-y as ever, but what are you going to do, I guess. The main menu is fucking intense, too. Solid music, neat animations, it’s great. On that note, the music is mostly alright. Solid beat, okay instrumentation. I think my favorite one has to be World 3 Light, overall. Once again, it can’t top Danny B, but I can’t see how you could replicate that original style. On the gameplay side of things, I really love the idea of the fist punch. Had this game not’ve been an autorunner, I’m sure it would’ve been a solid addition to platforming.
Aaaaaand this is the reason why Super Meat Boy Forever is so hated within the community. The auto-running mechanic is where nearly all of the faults of this game lie within, and I wish I was joking. Super Meat Boy Forever is the first game that has made me simultaneously bored and frustrated. The auto-running, straight to the point, completely hinders what the original game tries to do, and this would not be a problem for a little spin-off game, but when you blow it up to a goddamn sequel it just doesn't work. Comparing the controls of Super Meat Boy compared to Forever is like comparing a huge mansion to an apartment. In Super Meat Boy, you had a large degree of control, and it felt almost perfect. Sure, you stopped oddly fast, and some say it might be too fast, but simply seeing how far you can stretch the game's controls to do what you wanted was a massive appeal of the first game. Quite literally, in fact, because of the “Quantum Mario” replays system, encouraging speedrunning. So comparing it to Super Meat Boy Forever really shows how flawed this game is from the start. In Super Meat Boy, you could always take levels at your own pace. If you died, it was no issue. You respawn, and try again until you won. In Forever, you're constantly moving and it just gets annoying. Overshot your jump ever so slightly and want to correct it? TOO BAD, FUCK YOU. This issue permeates throughout the entire game and it just feels frustrating each time it happens. It's simply impossible to correct yourself, and while this wouldn't be an issue if the level design was factored with this in mind, it often expects you to be able to do some pretty damn tight platforming, combined with the fact that it forces you to deliberately fight against the main point of the game, the auto-running. What do you have to assist you in these masterfully crafted levels? A punch and a dive kick. Admittedly the punch is somewhat satisfying to use, but it feels pretty imprecise when it comes to platforming. The hitbox could be just a little bigger, I guess? And then you have the dive kick, which isn't used much at all. Now, the second biggest issue with the game. The motherfucking level design. Not only did I mention why the controls suck ass to begin with, this is compounded with the very, very poor level design. Combined with the aforementioned issues with the controls, the level design doesn't feel built around them. Each death that I had never felt genuine. Compared to other contemporary platformers like Celeste and the like, 99% of the deaths I had felt like I had to memorize the level just to succeed, when it was unclear to begin with on what to do. Some levels I even found straight up impossible, as far as I know. It's even hard to pick out a specific level, because all of them felt like I was just going through the motions. No rhyme nor reason, they just were. In the original game, I could remember almost every level because they were all distincive and cohesively designed. Not to mention, they were actually fun and tested your skills. Super Meat Boy Forever on the other hand, shows you one gimmick and just keeps milking it, without any fun behind it. It feels like a generic Mario Maker level with how everything was laid out. Yeah, the original had gimmicks, but they were mostly well designed and all distinctive from one another, not to mention they added to the platforming challenge in a genuine way.. Forever just feels so limited in comparison. Like, change the direction of my punch, slow motion, it's all just so bland. Not to mention some of these are literally copy pasted. The weird, translucent spikes that put you on a timer? Yeah, how about gas that does the same thing? The levels are also ridiculously long, too. Super Meat Boy was a very fast paced game. Most levels were less than 30 seconds to exacerbate the speed of the game, and they were also very replayable, with the speedrun community thriving to this day. Forever’s levels can take over 5 minutes at times, and by the time I was done with a level, I felt really burnt out. Not to mention, like the original, they have a replay system that absolutely no one would use? It's supposed to be for speedruns and whatnot, but… it's a randomly generated autorunner. How do you even compare times at that point? It would be up to Lady Luck. And also, speedrunning sucks btw. It's just “spam punch, dive” over and over again, and it just hurts your wrist at some point. Oh yeah, did I neglect to mention the quite literally randomly generated level design? Yeah, I'm not kidding. When you create a new save, you get to choose the seed which bases your levels on. It's a concept I'm somewhat mixed on, because the levels I did get between seperate saves felt completely different, but at the same time, randomized levels weren't necessary and contributed to a poor difficulty curve. It's a relatively small point, but one you can decide if it's bad or not. What isn't randomly generated is the bosses, and just like Super Meat Boy, it is still my low point of the game. Unlike Super Meat Boy, however, Forever's bosses are just straight up awful. It once again runs into the issues that come with the auto-running genre. A lot of these bosses will make you want to snap your controller in two. They require so many do-or-die scenarios that they feel like luck half of the time. Once a, Super Meat Boy exemplified the core elements of the game, by requiring good platforming skills, which is all but absent in Forever. In Forever, the average boss goes like this. Take down it's shield. Do damage to boss, but not too much, lest you die to the boss’s shield. Rinse and repeat and it’s just not fun. This was my ultimate breaking point with the game. I got to the final boss, I had zero idea what to do, so I straight up uninstalled the game. I was DONE. I didn’t feel like playing anymore because it was an utter waste of my time. I have so many games I have to play on Epic, but this? Nah.
This game feels like it wants to be the genre defining game that Super Meat Boy once was, but in the end, forms a soulless husk of what Meat Boy once was. This is what happens when you blow a simple phone game up to the size of a full blown sequel. And I know I’ve been comparing it a lot to Super Meat Boy, and it’s unfair I guess, considering how good it was, but even detached from Super Meat Boy, Forever remains as a largely unenjoyable experience. Unfortunately, we’ll never know if a true sequel will ever be made, because Tommy has stated that a return to the platforming goodness of the original was unlikely. And until then, that’s how it’s gonna stay for the end of time.
I want to thank everybody for the constant support over the last year. I’ve had a lot of fun writing these overtly long reviews, and I hope you’ve had just as much fun reading them. Here’s to another year of long ass game reviews, have yourself a good one, and take care!
On April 27th, 2023, a young and scrappy little spirit named “zeusdeegoose” would enter the realm dubbed Backloggd. Hot off the trails of a game that infuriated him to no end, he started to write. The words echoed in his mind. “Ragequit on World 3 Boss. There was much frustration during my time with the game and as a whole, it leaves a lot to be desired.” This would become the start of something greater, and spiraled into nearly a hundred reviews spanning across several games. Life was simple for him, and he was happy. This was until a fateful day. On February 22nd, he was reminded of his not so distant past. It haunted him to no avail, but he knew what he had to do. So, he started to write. And write, and write, and write. With his demons finally sealed off, he now rests knowing well that the task has been completed. What was on this pact? You shall find out, soon enough.
If you didn't know, Super Meat Boy was the indie darling from Edmund McMillen and Tommy Refenes, and Danny Baranowsky, who did the music. It was supposed to be a one-and-done platformer, with McMillen and Refenes have stated that a sequel was unlikely, at least until 2015, where they said that it could happen eventually, after Forever released. At GDC 2011, Tommy began prototyping for what would become Super Meat Boy Forever. And thus, started the 9 year long agony. Damny left in around 2015, and Edmund eventually left in 2017, leaving only Tommy. Development was essentially reset, with a new goal in mind. This time, however, Forever was bulked up to be the sequel to Super Meat Boy that EVERYONE was waiting for. And after numerous delays, Forever was finally released on December 23rd, 2020… to no avail. Critics gave a lukewarm reception to the game. There were some 9/10s, a concerning amount of 8/10’s, but a majority of critics were in the yellow on this game. Meanwhile, the Meat Boy fans who’ve been waiting for 9 fucking years with no game were understandably pretty pissed off. But they weren't just upset. They were FLABBERGASTED at how bad the game actually was. I was genuinely curious. Could this game be that horrendous? I wanted to buy it, but due to the Epic Games deal, I held off on it until 2023, where I finished Super Meat Boy, and then I bought Forever almost immediately afterwards. My feelings were almost entirely negative, and after a while, I straight up refunded the game. With no regrets, I moved on to other, better games. And that brings us to today. Where it was free on Epic Games for a week (Fuck Fallout ig). And, as a celebration for gaining over 50 followers on this site, and as well as being the first game I ever logged here, I guess there’s no better time to FINALLY re-review Super Meat Boy Forever. SO, after a long period of waiting, Super Meat Boy Forever is finally getting the long ass review treatment it deserves. Let’s-a-go.
Right off the bat, I do have a few compliments before we get into the absolute slaughterhouse that is this game. First off, the presentation and music of the game is actually pretty decent. A minor issue I had with Super Meat Boy is that while the art was good, the game didn’t have a very punchy style. Super Meat Boy Forever fixes this. Each asset has a clearly defined outline, making it easier to distinguish different things from another. It doesn’t look as good as the prototype, which had Edmund’s art style as Newgrounds-y as ever, but what are you going to do, I guess. The main menu is fucking intense, too. Solid music, neat animations, it’s great. On that note, the music is mostly alright. Solid beat, okay instrumentation. I think my favorite one has to be World 3 Light, overall. Once again, it can’t top Danny B, but I can’t see how you could replicate that original style. On the gameplay side of things, I really love the idea of the fist punch. Had this game not’ve been an autorunner, I’m sure it would’ve been a solid addition to platforming.
Aaaaaand this is the reason why Super Meat Boy Forever is so hated within the community. The auto-running mechanic is where nearly all of the faults of this game lie within, and I wish I was joking. Super Meat Boy Forever is the first game that has made me simultaneously bored and frustrated. The auto-running, straight to the point, completely hinders what the original game tries to do, and this would not be a problem for a little spin-off game, but when you blow it up to a goddamn sequel it just doesn't work. Comparing the controls of Super Meat Boy compared to Forever is like comparing a huge mansion to an apartment. In Super Meat Boy, you had a large degree of control, and it felt almost perfect. Sure, you stopped oddly fast, and some say it might be too fast, but simply seeing how far you can stretch the game's controls to do what you wanted was a massive appeal of the first game. Quite literally, in fact, because of the “Quantum Mario” replays system, encouraging speedrunning. So comparing it to Super Meat Boy Forever really shows how flawed this game is from the start. In Super Meat Boy, you could always take levels at your own pace. If you died, it was no issue. You respawn, and try again until you won. In Forever, you're constantly moving and it just gets annoying. Overshot your jump ever so slightly and want to correct it? TOO BAD, FUCK YOU. This issue permeates throughout the entire game and it just feels frustrating each time it happens. It's simply impossible to correct yourself, and while this wouldn't be an issue if the level design was factored with this in mind, it often expects you to be able to do some pretty damn tight platforming, combined with the fact that it forces you to deliberately fight against the main point of the game, the auto-running. What do you have to assist you in these masterfully crafted levels? A punch and a dive kick. Admittedly the punch is somewhat satisfying to use, but it feels pretty imprecise when it comes to platforming. The hitbox could be just a little bigger, I guess? And then you have the dive kick, which isn't used much at all. Now, the second biggest issue with the game. The motherfucking level design. Not only did I mention why the controls suck ass to begin with, this is compounded with the very, very poor level design. Combined with the aforementioned issues with the controls, the level design doesn't feel built around them. Each death that I had never felt genuine. Compared to other contemporary platformers like Celeste and the like, 99% of the deaths I had felt like I had to memorize the level just to succeed, when it was unclear to begin with on what to do. Some levels I even found straight up impossible, as far as I know. It's even hard to pick out a specific level, because all of them felt like I was just going through the motions. No rhyme nor reason, they just were. In the original game, I could remember almost every level because they were all distincive and cohesively designed. Not to mention, they were actually fun and tested your skills. Super Meat Boy Forever on the other hand, shows you one gimmick and just keeps milking it, without any fun behind it. It feels like a generic Mario Maker level with how everything was laid out. Yeah, the original had gimmicks, but they were mostly well designed and all distinctive from one another, not to mention they added to the platforming challenge in a genuine way.. Forever just feels so limited in comparison. Like, change the direction of my punch, slow motion, it's all just so bland. Not to mention some of these are literally copy pasted. The weird, translucent spikes that put you on a timer? Yeah, how about gas that does the same thing? The levels are also ridiculously long, too. Super Meat Boy was a very fast paced game. Most levels were less than 30 seconds to exacerbate the speed of the game, and they were also very replayable, with the speedrun community thriving to this day. Forever’s levels can take over 5 minutes at times, and by the time I was done with a level, I felt really burnt out. Not to mention, like the original, they have a replay system that absolutely no one would use? It's supposed to be for speedruns and whatnot, but… it's a randomly generated autorunner. How do you even compare times at that point? It would be up to Lady Luck. And also, speedrunning sucks btw. It's just “spam punch, dive” over and over again, and it just hurts your wrist at some point. Oh yeah, did I neglect to mention the quite literally randomly generated level design? Yeah, I'm not kidding. When you create a new save, you get to choose the seed which bases your levels on. It's a concept I'm somewhat mixed on, because the levels I did get between seperate saves felt completely different, but at the same time, randomized levels weren't necessary and contributed to a poor difficulty curve. It's a relatively small point, but one you can decide if it's bad or not. What isn't randomly generated is the bosses, and just like Super Meat Boy, it is still my low point of the game. Unlike Super Meat Boy, however, Forever's bosses are just straight up awful. It once again runs into the issues that come with the auto-running genre. A lot of these bosses will make you want to snap your controller in two. They require so many do-or-die scenarios that they feel like luck half of the time. Once a, Super Meat Boy exemplified the core elements of the game, by requiring good platforming skills, which is all but absent in Forever. In Forever, the average boss goes like this. Take down it's shield. Do damage to boss, but not too much, lest you die to the boss’s shield. Rinse and repeat and it’s just not fun. This was my ultimate breaking point with the game. I got to the final boss, I had zero idea what to do, so I straight up uninstalled the game. I was DONE. I didn’t feel like playing anymore because it was an utter waste of my time. I have so many games I have to play on Epic, but this? Nah.
This game feels like it wants to be the genre defining game that Super Meat Boy once was, but in the end, forms a soulless husk of what Meat Boy once was. This is what happens when you blow a simple phone game up to the size of a full blown sequel. And I know I’ve been comparing it a lot to Super Meat Boy, and it’s unfair I guess, considering how good it was, but even detached from Super Meat Boy, Forever remains as a largely unenjoyable experience. Unfortunately, we’ll never know if a true sequel will ever be made, because Tommy has stated that a return to the platforming goodness of the original was unlikely. And until then, that’s how it’s gonna stay for the end of time.
I want to thank everybody for the constant support over the last year. I’ve had a lot of fun writing these overtly long reviews, and I hope you’ve had just as much fun reading them. Here’s to another year of long ass game reviews, have yourself a good one, and take care!
2015
rip splatoon 1 i played it once in like 2021 on a friends wii u and it was really fun
2002
Tried to enjoy it, but there was one small issue. It randomly crashed lmao
Will probably play sometime again, probably not on Switch either. I've read on the Wiki that this is apparently common on the Nintendo-emulated versions, but I didn't touch 3DS VC Shantae at all. Not risking it lmao
Will probably play sometime again, probably not on Switch either. I've read on the Wiki that this is apparently common on the Nintendo-emulated versions, but I didn't touch 3DS VC Shantae at all. Not risking it lmao
THE BINDING OF ISAAC WARP ZONE: S H A R D S O F I S A A C
Back in my original review, I think I sold Wrath of the Lamb a little short. I had called it one of the most unfun, bullshit things I had ever played coming from Edmund McMillen. But, there was one, small. Perhaps a tiny issue. Maybe with skill? Hell if I know...
Wrath of the Lamb is where The Binding of Isaac truly began, adding all types of new shit into the game. From bosses, to items, and even modes, Wrath of the Lamb is one of the most influential expansions to Isaac as a whole, and solidified the game as a masterpiece. Did 2011 simply not have enough content for you? Well, it's Wrath of the Lamb now, bitches!
This is where the alternate floors come into play, and the greater enemy variety is more apparent here than ever. I didn’t notice how limited 2011’s enemies were until I installed Wrath of the Lamb, because holy shit. This is way bigger! And the bosses? Far more intimidating than before. Each boss is far more devious than the previous Flash bosses, being faster and even more intimidating with the new music, which goes just as hard as the rest of the soundtrack. The difficulty of the game itself is so much higher than before. I nearly died on the first FLOOR when playing, it’s that grueling. In fact, it might be a little... too hard. I do really like Wrath of the Lamb (now that I don’t suck at it), but in GOD’S NAME, at least play Flash for a little bit before downloading it, because the type of shit you’ll encounter far exceeds the difficulty of any expansion to Isaac, and yes, even Repentance. To compensate, Angel rooms have now been added, and you can also manipulate them into spawning, and these have weaker items, like Rebirth, but the pool doesn’t suck now!!! Hooray! And, just like every previous Isaac expansion, there’s new story. There’s the Cathedral, and The Chest. Now, you might say that I already covered these, but Wrath of the Lamb’s Cathedral is NOT the same as Rebirth’s, not by a long shot. It’s a far more challenging area, with enemies being far superior and faster, and the final boss (Isaac) has been completely changed in Rebirth, honestly one of the only things Rebirth did worse compared to Flash. It’s a complete slap fight, with Isaac only firing and firing hundreds of tears towards you. After doing that for a bit, he stands up and starts firing homing tears in a D-Pad pattern, and does it even more frequently, before finally gaining flight, summoning so many enemies and light beams, descending down on the player. And this is where the true fight begins, easily being the hardest part of the battle. And the music, once again, is fucking incredible. After killing him, you get a piece of an image on the title, and I think you know what that means. So after 6 kills, you get The Polaroid trinket, and it drops after killing Mom. Now, go into the Chest dropped from killing Isaac, and bam. You’re in the final chapter of the game. This floor is essentially a victory lap, with every dropped chest being converted into items, and the final boss is Blue Baby. He’s essentially the Hard Mode of the Isaac fight, shooting even more tears, having more health, and having the ability to teleport across the room. And, for the final time, the Chest drops. The final ending shows numerous polaroids, showing Isaac’s memories, as the screen slowly fades to back, while the Library music plays in the background. Nightmare fuel. But, when it comes to the rest of Wrath of the Lamb, there’s not much to say that hasn’t been said already in my prior reviews. All of the new items are pretty cool, there’s even more run variety, and practically everything from Flash is fixed, so yeah. Wrath of the Lamb is pretty damn good, if I say so myself.
Except for ONE, tiny, SMALL issue. 100%ing Wrath of the Lamb is fucking TERRIBLE. Okay, so we all know the usual “defeat every boss with every character” stick, right? I neglected to mention this in my previous review, but Flash Isaac is just as straightforward as Afterbirth when it comes to 100%. But thought Flash was too easy? You sir, have not played Wrath of the Lamb. And it’s all due to a little update in 2015, without Mcillen’s involvement. Wrath of the Lamb wasn’t too taxing of a 100% prior. Sure, Isaac and ??? were pretty hard, but once you got it down the first time, the difficulty only snowballed. And the challenges weren’t so bad either, so 100% was pretty fun and engaging. But... in 2015... oh man, Curse Alert for those who care.
ETERNAL EDITION IS THE WORST FUCKING THING EVER INTRODUCED INTO THIS GODDAMN FRANCHISE. HOLY SHIT, WHERE DO I BEGIN WITH THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT??? There’s NO new items nor anything in this update, only Hard mode, taking most of, if not ALL of the fun out of 100%. That’s the entire fucking POINT of The Binding of Isaac. The achievements are difficult WITHIN REASON! You actually get shit for going out of your way to do something difficult. THAT’S WHY IT’S FUN! I need way more incentive to play Hard mode rather than an achievement on Steam. That’s what made Super Meat Boy 100% so fun. The Meat Ninja is actually a cool unlockable, even IF Leaderboards are disabled with him! Shit, if you couldn’t come up with any new items, just take some from Rebirth, that would be COOL and neat to see in the older version of Isaac. You use Godhead for your achievement icon already, why not go all the way? Oh, and Hard Mode? I kid you not, this is some f the most grueling, unfun BULLSHIT THAT I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN THE BINDING OF ISAAC. The D6 got nerfed for no fucking reason, the Eternal Bosses are controller breaking frustration, and the difficulty relies on heavy luck to even succeed. I’m not kidding when I say I had an awesome run but with low HP, and I had over 5 seconds of unavoidable damage that KILLED me and made me start ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the way back to the fucking Basement. Great and fun game design, Himsl. Oh, and whoever designed Eternal Monstro can eat a dick t- OH, OOPS! Eternal Edition isn’t fun. Don’t go for these achievements. Seriously, they’re awful. Wrath of the Lamb is an amazing game, but simply put, Eternal Edition just sucks.
But overall, Flash Isaac as a whole is pretty solid, despite Eternal Edition being far from the greatest. If you’re getting tired of Rebirth, I’d recommend trying out Flash, even for a little bit. It’s shockingly fun, and I think it held up pretty well. Hell, I'd say that it's on the same tier as Rebirth in terms of greatness. But thats enough dawdling. We all know what’s coming next. So it’s time for the finale, the PINNACLE of zeusdeegoose. Until then, my friends.
“Life isn't fair, isn't it? / Wrath forges his fury, his sin / From within he cries” “Wrath” by zeusdeegoose, Written on 4/22/24
Back in my original review, I think I sold Wrath of the Lamb a little short. I had called it one of the most unfun, bullshit things I had ever played coming from Edmund McMillen. But, there was one, small. Perhaps a tiny issue. Maybe with skill? Hell if I know...
Wrath of the Lamb is where The Binding of Isaac truly began, adding all types of new shit into the game. From bosses, to items, and even modes, Wrath of the Lamb is one of the most influential expansions to Isaac as a whole, and solidified the game as a masterpiece. Did 2011 simply not have enough content for you? Well, it's Wrath of the Lamb now, bitches!
This is where the alternate floors come into play, and the greater enemy variety is more apparent here than ever. I didn’t notice how limited 2011’s enemies were until I installed Wrath of the Lamb, because holy shit. This is way bigger! And the bosses? Far more intimidating than before. Each boss is far more devious than the previous Flash bosses, being faster and even more intimidating with the new music, which goes just as hard as the rest of the soundtrack. The difficulty of the game itself is so much higher than before. I nearly died on the first FLOOR when playing, it’s that grueling. In fact, it might be a little... too hard. I do really like Wrath of the Lamb (now that I don’t suck at it), but in GOD’S NAME, at least play Flash for a little bit before downloading it, because the type of shit you’ll encounter far exceeds the difficulty of any expansion to Isaac, and yes, even Repentance. To compensate, Angel rooms have now been added, and you can also manipulate them into spawning, and these have weaker items, like Rebirth, but the pool doesn’t suck now!!! Hooray! And, just like every previous Isaac expansion, there’s new story. There’s the Cathedral, and The Chest. Now, you might say that I already covered these, but Wrath of the Lamb’s Cathedral is NOT the same as Rebirth’s, not by a long shot. It’s a far more challenging area, with enemies being far superior and faster, and the final boss (Isaac) has been completely changed in Rebirth, honestly one of the only things Rebirth did worse compared to Flash. It’s a complete slap fight, with Isaac only firing and firing hundreds of tears towards you. After doing that for a bit, he stands up and starts firing homing tears in a D-Pad pattern, and does it even more frequently, before finally gaining flight, summoning so many enemies and light beams, descending down on the player. And this is where the true fight begins, easily being the hardest part of the battle. And the music, once again, is fucking incredible. After killing him, you get a piece of an image on the title, and I think you know what that means. So after 6 kills, you get The Polaroid trinket, and it drops after killing Mom. Now, go into the Chest dropped from killing Isaac, and bam. You’re in the final chapter of the game. This floor is essentially a victory lap, with every dropped chest being converted into items, and the final boss is Blue Baby. He’s essentially the Hard Mode of the Isaac fight, shooting even more tears, having more health, and having the ability to teleport across the room. And, for the final time, the Chest drops. The final ending shows numerous polaroids, showing Isaac’s memories, as the screen slowly fades to back, while the Library music plays in the background. Nightmare fuel. But, when it comes to the rest of Wrath of the Lamb, there’s not much to say that hasn’t been said already in my prior reviews. All of the new items are pretty cool, there’s even more run variety, and practically everything from Flash is fixed, so yeah. Wrath of the Lamb is pretty damn good, if I say so myself.
Except for ONE, tiny, SMALL issue. 100%ing Wrath of the Lamb is fucking TERRIBLE. Okay, so we all know the usual “defeat every boss with every character” stick, right? I neglected to mention this in my previous review, but Flash Isaac is just as straightforward as Afterbirth when it comes to 100%. But thought Flash was too easy? You sir, have not played Wrath of the Lamb. And it’s all due to a little update in 2015, without Mcillen’s involvement. Wrath of the Lamb wasn’t too taxing of a 100% prior. Sure, Isaac and ??? were pretty hard, but once you got it down the first time, the difficulty only snowballed. And the challenges weren’t so bad either, so 100% was pretty fun and engaging. But... in 2015... oh man, Curse Alert for those who care.
ETERNAL EDITION IS THE WORST FUCKING THING EVER INTRODUCED INTO THIS GODDAMN FRANCHISE. HOLY SHIT, WHERE DO I BEGIN WITH THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT??? There’s NO new items nor anything in this update, only Hard mode, taking most of, if not ALL of the fun out of 100%. That’s the entire fucking POINT of The Binding of Isaac. The achievements are difficult WITHIN REASON! You actually get shit for going out of your way to do something difficult. THAT’S WHY IT’S FUN! I need way more incentive to play Hard mode rather than an achievement on Steam. That’s what made Super Meat Boy 100% so fun. The Meat Ninja is actually a cool unlockable, even IF Leaderboards are disabled with him! Shit, if you couldn’t come up with any new items, just take some from Rebirth, that would be COOL and neat to see in the older version of Isaac. You use Godhead for your achievement icon already, why not go all the way? Oh, and Hard Mode? I kid you not, this is some f the most grueling, unfun BULLSHIT THAT I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN THE BINDING OF ISAAC. The D6 got nerfed for no fucking reason, the Eternal Bosses are controller breaking frustration, and the difficulty relies on heavy luck to even succeed. I’m not kidding when I say I had an awesome run but with low HP, and I had over 5 seconds of unavoidable damage that KILLED me and made me start ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the way back to the fucking Basement. Great and fun game design, Himsl. Oh, and whoever designed Eternal Monstro can eat a dick t- OH, OOPS! Eternal Edition isn’t fun. Don’t go for these achievements. Seriously, they’re awful. Wrath of the Lamb is an amazing game, but simply put, Eternal Edition just sucks.
But overall, Flash Isaac as a whole is pretty solid, despite Eternal Edition being far from the greatest. If you’re getting tired of Rebirth, I’d recommend trying out Flash, even for a little bit. It’s shockingly fun, and I think it held up pretty well. Hell, I'd say that it's on the same tier as Rebirth in terms of greatness. But thats enough dawdling. We all know what’s coming next. So it’s time for the finale, the PINNACLE of zeusdeegoose. Until then, my friends.
“Life isn't fair, isn't it? / Wrath forges his fury, his sin / From within he cries” “Wrath” by zeusdeegoose, Written on 4/22/24
still pondering on why the fuck i bought this
2003
While I beat Devil May Cry first, I'm reviewing this one now as it's the most fresh in my mind. Devil May Cry 2 is the infamous sequel to Devil May Cry, a game which had its own share of problems, but was overall enjoyable. Devil May Cry 2 on the other hand, has good gameplay on paper, but in execution, it plays a whole lot worse. Starting off, the improvements.
The amulets were a cool idea, and you can upgrade your weapons. Oh, and you can quick swap guns, now, and the controls are ever so slightly better.
Alright, now the downsides. For one, DMC2 is absolutely WAAAAAAAAAY too easy. DMC wasn't too difficult, but if you weren't prepared, you could easily die. DMC2 feels patronizing in comparison. If you've ever heard of DMC2, you've heard of how infamously overpowered guns are, and it's ALL true. Guns tear through enemies in this game, and also juggle enemies. Swords are nigh useless in this game because there feels like there's little combo game here. Unlike the delay based systems of DMC1 (ex. Attack, Attack, Small Delay, Attack), DMC2 has the player hold the stick in a specific direction to pull off an attack (ex Attack, Attack, hold Left, Attack). I didn't even know this was possible until the 5th mission; I had to look it up on the wiki. And even then, most of the attacks push away your enemy instead of keeping them in one spot, which is usually the opposite of what you want. And even if you did want to use the moves, half of the time it doesn't even work, but thankfully this game doesn't rank you based on the variety of moves you use, but rather how long you can keep up the damage, and how much you dodge attacks. So in the end, who should give a flying fuck about the swords? Half of the bosses encourage using guns anyways, and if ANYONE knows ANYTHING about DMC2’s awful boss design, it's the fucking INFESTED CHOPPER. I'm serious, 90% of the battle is just you shooting at the chopper off-screen, dodging easy ass bullets, and it gets old and repetitive FAST. You do this for about 2 minutes, and it's really irritating. The other bosses also lack the satisfaction of DMC1’s boss design; they're far too easy to bruteforce. The only time I actually died to a boss was the Infested Chopper fight, not even to the boss itself, it was that burning building climb with me trying for over a minute to get on a platform that I fell off of, because DMC ain't no Mario 64, that's for sure. Could they not cut that shit out from DMC1? Aaaand that's where I gave up essentially. It wasn't really fun to begin with, and the Infested Chopper as well as several other DMC fans tell me that DMC2 isn't worth finishing. I didn't even try out Lucia for god’s sake, I was just that uninterested. DMC2 is absolutely not worth any more of my time, and it's probably gonna stay that way for a while.
The amulets were a cool idea, and you can upgrade your weapons. Oh, and you can quick swap guns, now, and the controls are ever so slightly better.
Alright, now the downsides. For one, DMC2 is absolutely WAAAAAAAAAY too easy. DMC wasn't too difficult, but if you weren't prepared, you could easily die. DMC2 feels patronizing in comparison. If you've ever heard of DMC2, you've heard of how infamously overpowered guns are, and it's ALL true. Guns tear through enemies in this game, and also juggle enemies. Swords are nigh useless in this game because there feels like there's little combo game here. Unlike the delay based systems of DMC1 (ex. Attack, Attack, Small Delay, Attack), DMC2 has the player hold the stick in a specific direction to pull off an attack (ex Attack, Attack, hold Left, Attack). I didn't even know this was possible until the 5th mission; I had to look it up on the wiki. And even then, most of the attacks push away your enemy instead of keeping them in one spot, which is usually the opposite of what you want. And even if you did want to use the moves, half of the time it doesn't even work, but thankfully this game doesn't rank you based on the variety of moves you use, but rather how long you can keep up the damage, and how much you dodge attacks. So in the end, who should give a flying fuck about the swords? Half of the bosses encourage using guns anyways, and if ANYONE knows ANYTHING about DMC2’s awful boss design, it's the fucking INFESTED CHOPPER. I'm serious, 90% of the battle is just you shooting at the chopper off-screen, dodging easy ass bullets, and it gets old and repetitive FAST. You do this for about 2 minutes, and it's really irritating. The other bosses also lack the satisfaction of DMC1’s boss design; they're far too easy to bruteforce. The only time I actually died to a boss was the Infested Chopper fight, not even to the boss itself, it was that burning building climb with me trying for over a minute to get on a platform that I fell off of, because DMC ain't no Mario 64, that's for sure. Could they not cut that shit out from DMC1? Aaaand that's where I gave up essentially. It wasn't really fun to begin with, and the Infested Chopper as well as several other DMC fans tell me that DMC2 isn't worth finishing. I didn't even try out Lucia for god’s sake, I was just that uninterested. DMC2 is absolutely not worth any more of my time, and it's probably gonna stay that way for a while.
This review contains spoilers
THE BINDING OF ISAAC WARP ZONE: S H A R D S O F I S A A C
When Rebirth released, it was clear that it was a smash hit. So of COURSE they would capitalize on Rebirth’s success. For the record, I've never played Afterbirth standalone until this review. It’s a good DLC, no doubt, but the quality difference between Rebirth and Afterbirth is a bit apparent. Rebirth is an incredible game, but Afterbirth is just a good one. It doesn’t really change the formula at all, instead adding more to the core gameplay, which is totally fine as Rebirth is essentially a perfect game in my eyes. So, let’s hop into the Basement once more, shall we?
Okay, right off the bat, Afterbirth sports some improvements over Rebirth. Numerous items have been altered, usually for the better. Numerous items, including Dr Fetus and Bob’s Rotten Head have scaling damage now, an inarguable improvement overall. Lost Contact now allows familiars to block shots as well. Numerous items can be stacked now, like Mom’s Knife shooting two knives. Head of Krampus now rotates occasionally. That’s sort of annoying, but I’ll take it. Flush now one-shots all Poop-based bosses, neat. Most importantly, a lot of new synergies have been added to the mix, most notably to Dr. Fetus and Brimstone. But, arguably, the most important rework; Troll Bombs now explode at random intervals, fuck you. Jokes aside, Afterbirth added a whole lot of tweaks to improve the gameplay of Rebirth, which is pretty nice to say the least. Sacrifice rooms are actually good now, there’s a fuck ton of new room layouts, and now if you’ve unlocked It Lives, a Deal door on Womb 2 now actually has a deal! It’s a lot of minute shit, but hey, it’s nice to see. The two major additions of this expansion come in an entirely new game mode, and also an addition to the already existing campaign. We’ll cover the latter first.
By killing Mom’s Heart in under 30 minutes, you gain access to the... Blue Womb? It’s not a major floor, which is a bit of a shame. It has 2 treasure rooms, a shop, and the Boss door, which houses... Hush. Hush... is in a weird spot. I don’t hate him all too much, but I don’t really like him that much, either. First off, you start off with a Blue Baby fight, and then after he dies... the real Hush spawns? Okay... He shoots a million bullets, which are decently difficult to dodge. God, when does this boss end? He has so much HP! And now he’s attacking really fas- oh, and I died. Okay... Hush has had an issue since Afterbirth that makes him ridiculously fast if he gets to 50% HP, and while it doesn’t make the fight impossible by a long shot, it does make the fight occasionally irritating. When you get a continuum attack combined with his eye lasers, be prepared to take damage, because I 100%, zeusdeegoose guarantee you that it will happen. Aside from that, the fight is okay I suppose. It takes a little long... Actually now that I think about it, Mega Satan takes a little longer now. What’s up with that? Well, this is called “Boss Armor”, a mechanic introduced in Afterbirth which aims to make fights more challenging for those who have higher DPS in a single run. Depending on your DPS (and actual damage stat), about 9% of your attack’s original damage can get cut to compensate for you higher damage. It’s a bit of a dilemma. Sure, it levels the playing field for those who have slightly less than desirable runs, but on the other hand, it doesn’t really make bosses “harder”. In the end, it’s not really something to knock against the game since it really doesn’t affect you too much in the long term, but it is something that I should note here. Hush is kind of disappointing, but he’s a harmless side addition to runs. Once you kill him at least once, you get an ending which depicts Isaac dying once more in the Chest, and then seeing his new life in Purgatory. After that, we see his Mom opening the Chest, only to find his skeleton. The ending is skipped on subsequent runs, and instead lets you go to the Cathedral or Sheol, just like in a regular Womb run. I really wish that the Blue Womb was a full floor, like almost every other end-game floor. In the files, there’s actually some enemies that go totally unused in the game, which is a shame. Having a big, open floor with a bunch of enemies to kill before you fight a boss would be cool. But as is, it’s just fine. Hey, at least you get 2 extra items for doing it! So... what else is going on in Afterbirth?
Well, the Basement also received some new renovations! Introducing, the Burning Basement, Flooded Caves, the Dankest Depths, and the Scarred Womb. These aren’t wholly new floors, but they attempt to change the fundamental designs of each floor, somewhat akin to curses. For example, the Burning Basement focuses on grounded enemies, rather than flying enemies. The levels have entirely new aesthetics and enemies, and I really like what they did here. All of the remixes slap HARD. Kave Diluvii is among my favorite tracks in the game. It’s pretty groovy and relaxed compared to the normal Caves track. Afterbirth’s soundtrack meets the bar of Rebirth’s, and fits in perfectly with the older tracks. Great stuff overall. Speaking of Basement renovations, there’s new room layouts!!! Uh... New achievements... Shit... Looks like we have to talk about the elephant in the room, right?
Greed Mode is a bit of a controversial game mode. Many dislike it, and believe it’s removal would be a net positive. Perhaps my spiciest take on this site, Greed Mode... is actually really fun! Yeah, it can get repetitive, and it does have it’s issues, but I think it’s a solid alternative to the main game. Essentially, you’re in a large ass arena, with a treasure room, boss pool item, and a curse room. You collect coins for each round you pass, and you spend them in a shop which holds various infinitely respawning pickups, and also items and trinkets. What I like about Greed Mode is that they try to keep the original Isaac spirit in-tact. Not only is there still secret rooms and the like, you can still earn deals. Whilst deals are no longer earned from no-hitting floors, as that’d be far too difficult, instead, you have to clear an additional round of harder bosses, which is a solid tradeoff. In fact, compared to the regular modes, Greed mode promotes defensive builds. Angel deals are EXTREMELY overpowered in Greed Mode, because you can get tons of more items thanks to the guaranteed chance. And since Angel deals tend to give more HP, Devil Deals are essentially irrelevant. Hell, even Devil Deals got NERFED. Now they have a bunch of... out of place items? Seriously, why is Technology here? Good item, but why is it here? And since red HP infinitely restocks in the shop, and are cheaper than soul hearts, why would you even go for a soul heart build? As I was making my way down, I noticed something odd. There’s 2 new floors, the Shop and... Ultra Greed? Shop is your typical Greed Mode floor, minus the treasure room and Boss item room; a weird omission but I’ll allow it. And then, Ultra Greed, the final floor... is seriously awesome! First off, you fight Regular Greed and a few other bosses, most of which you’ll clap within seconds, but Ultra Greed is the main attraction. He’s a fast and dynamic fight, spinning around, throwing hundreds of projectiles at you, and the slot machine attack always forces you to move across the arena, lest he gain a gajillion enemies to fight for him, or even heal. Also, this fucking song. It’s probably one of my favorite fights in the game, if I’m being honest. But once you kill him, he drops a Greed Donation Machine, and you can all tell where this is going. Yep, you gotta fill it all up for 100%. And don’t be so hasty with your spending in previous floors. Greed Mode challenges you to deliberately take less items in order to get more cool ass unlocks. Risk vs Reward, anybody? I would praise Greed Mode if it weren’t for one, small issue. The game crashed whenever I got to 109 coins in the Donation Machine. Yeah, I have no idea why, but they fixed it now. At least I can earn the new unlocks in Greed Mode. It’s pretty standard for the most part. Eve holds the Razor, nickel shopkeep- THE LOST HOLDS MANTLE NOW??? 10/10 DLC, BUY NOW. Wait a second, when did they fix this? 109 hours after Afterbirth’s release? Perhaps it’s a coincidence, or maybe they’re poking fun at themselves. What else is there in this DLC... Oh! What about the improved collection page introduced in Afterb- Wait, what about the 109th item? It’s Money = Power, that’s been in Rebirth for a while now. Maybe I’ll check over it one last time. “Where are you”? Wait... The Lost earns the Holy Mantle? He was datamined, right? How many hours after release? 109?! No... this can’t be! A NEW CHARACTER???
Yes folks, you heard me right. An ARG took place spanning the course of over a month after Afterbirth’s release, involving phone calls to numbers with pre recorded voicemails, to discovering Imgur links by converting Achievement text to ASCII code, to finding a Twitter account with a password by digging up a mini-statue with the account name and the password with it. THAT is fucking dedication right there, and really shows that they cared about Afterbirth’s release. But... who’s this new guy? Or, before I get ahead of myself, who’s this new girl? Lilith, unlocked by slaying Ultra Greed as Azazel, is a very familiar-centric character, who can’t shoot tears, but instead fights with an Incubus. She also starts with Box of Friends, which doubles all of her Familiars. Aaaand, that’s it! She’s not a terribly deep character to play. You essentially double your damage each time you use Box of Friends, and that’s it. Fighting with the familiar can be pretty disorienting at times, and exploding tears may as well be a death wish for those who dare pick them up with Lilith. If you unironically grab Dr. Fetus with Lilith, you are a US Marine, my friend. But, other than that, she’s decently fun. Anyways, the main attraction. The motherfucking KEEPER. Keeper is the Rebirth Lost of Afterbirth. The bottom-tier bitch that everyone hates to play as, except the Isaac die-hards who suck Edmund off daily. The Keeper has 2 “coin hearts'' and cannot gain anymore (he only heals with coins), which counts as red heart damage, meaning you cannot get hit for deals, and he has shit stats, but at least he has a triple shot. Yeah, he fucking sucks, Obviously. But the only reason I’m not raging out of my ass is that he holds the Wooden Nickel at a certain point, an activated item that has a 50/50 chance to drop a coin. The sad part is that he also has some pretty bad unlocks, meaning there’s no reason to play as him, discounting 100%. Sure, Deep Pockets is okay I suppose, and got a little better in Repentance, but the rest are kind of duds, and Sticky Nickels are effectively a downgrade. And of course, you have to do all of his marks in Hard Mode for 100%, as well as all of the other character’s marks. Now you have to do Hush, Ultra Greed, and now Mega Satan, from Rebirth. And hey, now once you get all of a character’s marks, you get a secret! Aside from the usual “pick up every item”, “do every challenge” stick, Afterbirth 100% is pretty relaxed compared to Rebirth. There aren't many achievements which you'll need a guide to get; in fact, the only miscellaneous achievement is Blinding Baby, which requires you to use Blank Card with The Sun. Sure, The Keeper may suck the biggest dildo imaginable, but other than that, this isn't too hard! In fact, they made some achievements easier, such as The Lost's unlocks, and getting Super Meat Boy and Bandage Girl! In fact, it's kind of… too easy? Now that The Lost is free-er than oxygen, not much stands between you and 100%. Keeper is mildly annoying, but if you can kill Hush as The Lost, you can definitely do it as The Keeper. Some challenges can be hellish, like Brains, but it's far from difficult. I'm surprised that they didn't double down on the difficulty, but eh, nitpicks, nitpicks. And with that, 100% in Afterbirth is finally ACHIEVED! Oh, yeah, 1001%! And the game called me a nerd, fuck you.
Afterbirth isn't as good as what came before it, that being Rebirth, but I think it was still a solid update to a phenomenal game overall. Sure, it might not be as groundbreaking as said predecessor, but treading new grounds wasn’t needed as Rebirth was already a damn good game to begin with. Afterbirth could only really add to said greatness, and I think that it works overall. Still as addictive as ever, and a pretty fun video game. But there’s one question that lays within everyone’s minds. What happens after a postpartum? A… postpartum… Plus… oh, I am in hell.
“The Keeper of fate / Greed overwhelms, grasps the helm / Much wealth harms the health” - “Afterbirth” by zeusdeegoose, Written on 4/22/24
When Rebirth released, it was clear that it was a smash hit. So of COURSE they would capitalize on Rebirth’s success. For the record, I've never played Afterbirth standalone until this review. It’s a good DLC, no doubt, but the quality difference between Rebirth and Afterbirth is a bit apparent. Rebirth is an incredible game, but Afterbirth is just a good one. It doesn’t really change the formula at all, instead adding more to the core gameplay, which is totally fine as Rebirth is essentially a perfect game in my eyes. So, let’s hop into the Basement once more, shall we?
Okay, right off the bat, Afterbirth sports some improvements over Rebirth. Numerous items have been altered, usually for the better. Numerous items, including Dr Fetus and Bob’s Rotten Head have scaling damage now, an inarguable improvement overall. Lost Contact now allows familiars to block shots as well. Numerous items can be stacked now, like Mom’s Knife shooting two knives. Head of Krampus now rotates occasionally. That’s sort of annoying, but I’ll take it. Flush now one-shots all Poop-based bosses, neat. Most importantly, a lot of new synergies have been added to the mix, most notably to Dr. Fetus and Brimstone. But, arguably, the most important rework; Troll Bombs now explode at random intervals, fuck you. Jokes aside, Afterbirth added a whole lot of tweaks to improve the gameplay of Rebirth, which is pretty nice to say the least. Sacrifice rooms are actually good now, there’s a fuck ton of new room layouts, and now if you’ve unlocked It Lives, a Deal door on Womb 2 now actually has a deal! It’s a lot of minute shit, but hey, it’s nice to see. The two major additions of this expansion come in an entirely new game mode, and also an addition to the already existing campaign. We’ll cover the latter first.
By killing Mom’s Heart in under 30 minutes, you gain access to the... Blue Womb? It’s not a major floor, which is a bit of a shame. It has 2 treasure rooms, a shop, and the Boss door, which houses... Hush. Hush... is in a weird spot. I don’t hate him all too much, but I don’t really like him that much, either. First off, you start off with a Blue Baby fight, and then after he dies... the real Hush spawns? Okay... He shoots a million bullets, which are decently difficult to dodge. God, when does this boss end? He has so much HP! And now he’s attacking really fas- oh, and I died. Okay... Hush has had an issue since Afterbirth that makes him ridiculously fast if he gets to 50% HP, and while it doesn’t make the fight impossible by a long shot, it does make the fight occasionally irritating. When you get a continuum attack combined with his eye lasers, be prepared to take damage, because I 100%, zeusdeegoose guarantee you that it will happen. Aside from that, the fight is okay I suppose. It takes a little long... Actually now that I think about it, Mega Satan takes a little longer now. What’s up with that? Well, this is called “Boss Armor”, a mechanic introduced in Afterbirth which aims to make fights more challenging for those who have higher DPS in a single run. Depending on your DPS (and actual damage stat), about 9% of your attack’s original damage can get cut to compensate for you higher damage. It’s a bit of a dilemma. Sure, it levels the playing field for those who have slightly less than desirable runs, but on the other hand, it doesn’t really make bosses “harder”. In the end, it’s not really something to knock against the game since it really doesn’t affect you too much in the long term, but it is something that I should note here. Hush is kind of disappointing, but he’s a harmless side addition to runs. Once you kill him at least once, you get an ending which depicts Isaac dying once more in the Chest, and then seeing his new life in Purgatory. After that, we see his Mom opening the Chest, only to find his skeleton. The ending is skipped on subsequent runs, and instead lets you go to the Cathedral or Sheol, just like in a regular Womb run. I really wish that the Blue Womb was a full floor, like almost every other end-game floor. In the files, there’s actually some enemies that go totally unused in the game, which is a shame. Having a big, open floor with a bunch of enemies to kill before you fight a boss would be cool. But as is, it’s just fine. Hey, at least you get 2 extra items for doing it! So... what else is going on in Afterbirth?
Well, the Basement also received some new renovations! Introducing, the Burning Basement, Flooded Caves, the Dankest Depths, and the Scarred Womb. These aren’t wholly new floors, but they attempt to change the fundamental designs of each floor, somewhat akin to curses. For example, the Burning Basement focuses on grounded enemies, rather than flying enemies. The levels have entirely new aesthetics and enemies, and I really like what they did here. All of the remixes slap HARD. Kave Diluvii is among my favorite tracks in the game. It’s pretty groovy and relaxed compared to the normal Caves track. Afterbirth’s soundtrack meets the bar of Rebirth’s, and fits in perfectly with the older tracks. Great stuff overall. Speaking of Basement renovations, there’s new room layouts!!! Uh... New achievements... Shit... Looks like we have to talk about the elephant in the room, right?
Greed Mode is a bit of a controversial game mode. Many dislike it, and believe it’s removal would be a net positive. Perhaps my spiciest take on this site, Greed Mode... is actually really fun! Yeah, it can get repetitive, and it does have it’s issues, but I think it’s a solid alternative to the main game. Essentially, you’re in a large ass arena, with a treasure room, boss pool item, and a curse room. You collect coins for each round you pass, and you spend them in a shop which holds various infinitely respawning pickups, and also items and trinkets. What I like about Greed Mode is that they try to keep the original Isaac spirit in-tact. Not only is there still secret rooms and the like, you can still earn deals. Whilst deals are no longer earned from no-hitting floors, as that’d be far too difficult, instead, you have to clear an additional round of harder bosses, which is a solid tradeoff. In fact, compared to the regular modes, Greed mode promotes defensive builds. Angel deals are EXTREMELY overpowered in Greed Mode, because you can get tons of more items thanks to the guaranteed chance. And since Angel deals tend to give more HP, Devil Deals are essentially irrelevant. Hell, even Devil Deals got NERFED. Now they have a bunch of... out of place items? Seriously, why is Technology here? Good item, but why is it here? And since red HP infinitely restocks in the shop, and are cheaper than soul hearts, why would you even go for a soul heart build? As I was making my way down, I noticed something odd. There’s 2 new floors, the Shop and... Ultra Greed? Shop is your typical Greed Mode floor, minus the treasure room and Boss item room; a weird omission but I’ll allow it. And then, Ultra Greed, the final floor... is seriously awesome! First off, you fight Regular Greed and a few other bosses, most of which you’ll clap within seconds, but Ultra Greed is the main attraction. He’s a fast and dynamic fight, spinning around, throwing hundreds of projectiles at you, and the slot machine attack always forces you to move across the arena, lest he gain a gajillion enemies to fight for him, or even heal. Also, this fucking song. It’s probably one of my favorite fights in the game, if I’m being honest. But once you kill him, he drops a Greed Donation Machine, and you can all tell where this is going. Yep, you gotta fill it all up for 100%. And don’t be so hasty with your spending in previous floors. Greed Mode challenges you to deliberately take less items in order to get more cool ass unlocks. Risk vs Reward, anybody? I would praise Greed Mode if it weren’t for one, small issue. The game crashed whenever I got to 109 coins in the Donation Machine. Yeah, I have no idea why, but they fixed it now. At least I can earn the new unlocks in Greed Mode. It’s pretty standard for the most part. Eve holds the Razor, nickel shopkeep- THE LOST HOLDS MANTLE NOW??? 10/10 DLC, BUY NOW. Wait a second, when did they fix this? 109 hours after Afterbirth’s release? Perhaps it’s a coincidence, or maybe they’re poking fun at themselves. What else is there in this DLC... Oh! What about the improved collection page introduced in Afterb- Wait, what about the 109th item? It’s Money = Power, that’s been in Rebirth for a while now. Maybe I’ll check over it one last time. “Where are you”? Wait... The Lost earns the Holy Mantle? He was datamined, right? How many hours after release? 109?! No... this can’t be! A NEW CHARACTER???
Yes folks, you heard me right. An ARG took place spanning the course of over a month after Afterbirth’s release, involving phone calls to numbers with pre recorded voicemails, to discovering Imgur links by converting Achievement text to ASCII code, to finding a Twitter account with a password by digging up a mini-statue with the account name and the password with it. THAT is fucking dedication right there, and really shows that they cared about Afterbirth’s release. But... who’s this new guy? Or, before I get ahead of myself, who’s this new girl? Lilith, unlocked by slaying Ultra Greed as Azazel, is a very familiar-centric character, who can’t shoot tears, but instead fights with an Incubus. She also starts with Box of Friends, which doubles all of her Familiars. Aaaand, that’s it! She’s not a terribly deep character to play. You essentially double your damage each time you use Box of Friends, and that’s it. Fighting with the familiar can be pretty disorienting at times, and exploding tears may as well be a death wish for those who dare pick them up with Lilith. If you unironically grab Dr. Fetus with Lilith, you are a US Marine, my friend. But, other than that, she’s decently fun. Anyways, the main attraction. The motherfucking KEEPER. Keeper is the Rebirth Lost of Afterbirth. The bottom-tier bitch that everyone hates to play as, except the Isaac die-hards who suck Edmund off daily. The Keeper has 2 “coin hearts'' and cannot gain anymore (he only heals with coins), which counts as red heart damage, meaning you cannot get hit for deals, and he has shit stats, but at least he has a triple shot. Yeah, he fucking sucks, Obviously. But the only reason I’m not raging out of my ass is that he holds the Wooden Nickel at a certain point, an activated item that has a 50/50 chance to drop a coin. The sad part is that he also has some pretty bad unlocks, meaning there’s no reason to play as him, discounting 100%. Sure, Deep Pockets is okay I suppose, and got a little better in Repentance, but the rest are kind of duds, and Sticky Nickels are effectively a downgrade. And of course, you have to do all of his marks in Hard Mode for 100%, as well as all of the other character’s marks. Now you have to do Hush, Ultra Greed, and now Mega Satan, from Rebirth. And hey, now once you get all of a character’s marks, you get a secret! Aside from the usual “pick up every item”, “do every challenge” stick, Afterbirth 100% is pretty relaxed compared to Rebirth. There aren't many achievements which you'll need a guide to get; in fact, the only miscellaneous achievement is Blinding Baby, which requires you to use Blank Card with The Sun. Sure, The Keeper may suck the biggest dildo imaginable, but other than that, this isn't too hard! In fact, they made some achievements easier, such as The Lost's unlocks, and getting Super Meat Boy and Bandage Girl! In fact, it's kind of… too easy? Now that The Lost is free-er than oxygen, not much stands between you and 100%. Keeper is mildly annoying, but if you can kill Hush as The Lost, you can definitely do it as The Keeper. Some challenges can be hellish, like Brains, but it's far from difficult. I'm surprised that they didn't double down on the difficulty, but eh, nitpicks, nitpicks. And with that, 100% in Afterbirth is finally ACHIEVED! Oh, yeah, 1001%! And the game called me a nerd, fuck you.
Afterbirth isn't as good as what came before it, that being Rebirth, but I think it was still a solid update to a phenomenal game overall. Sure, it might not be as groundbreaking as said predecessor, but treading new grounds wasn’t needed as Rebirth was already a damn good game to begin with. Afterbirth could only really add to said greatness, and I think that it works overall. Still as addictive as ever, and a pretty fun video game. But there’s one question that lays within everyone’s minds. What happens after a postpartum? A… postpartum… Plus… oh, I am in hell.
“The Keeper of fate / Greed overwhelms, grasps the helm / Much wealth harms the health” - “Afterbirth” by zeusdeegoose, Written on 4/22/24
5/5. Not much more needs to be said, really. It’s the perfect blend of the chaotic fun of 4 and Brawl, but the graceful and technical gameplay of Melee. 4 tried to do this, but Ultimate exceeds at it. Obviously, there’s a lot of merit to go back to older games in the Smash Bros series (Melee in particular), but it’s extremely safe to say that Ultimate is the best in the series.
2001
Sonic Adventure 2 is a game that I have given dozens of chances, all with different mindsets and understandings of how the game works. And each time I play this game, I feel underwhelmed. This feeling was no such stronger than on my most recent playthrough. Sonic Adventure 2 is a unique game, in that it feels both boring and frustrating at the exact same time. Occasionally it's fun. But overall, you just feel like you're wasting your time. Sonic Adventure 2 starts out incredibly strong. City Escape is phenomenal, and most of the levels here are actually pretty fun to play. But it very quickly goes downhill. Aquatic Base is okay, but most of the levels from there range from mediocre to flat out awful. And also not helping is the godawful playstyle that's attached to these stages. Although Sonic/Shadow have mostly remained the same, good god, what the fuck did they do to the treasure hunting and mech stages? First off, the sensitivity for controls is jacked up to the extreme. Move the joystick ever so slightly and you'll go flying off a ledge. SA1 had perfect controls. Perfect sensitivity and movement, good physics and more, but SA2 had to screw it up. Overall, the characters are just a nightmare to control, with really the only improvements being Knuckles/Rouge. Secondly, treasure hunting/mech shooting is fucking BORING. Treasure hunting is just a tedious task in it of itself; you just fly around til your radar goes off. But they made it even WORSE compared to SA1! Now you can only track one Emerald at a single time, and the radar is just less useful overall, with less levels of tracking. SA1 had 5, but 2 bumps it down to 3, an unneeded change. Oh, and you thought Treasure hunting was bad? Try the Mech stages! The mech stages are just awful. Not only are the controls still dogshit, but the physics combined with the controls make a confusing and bland slog of stages. Just spam B. That's the entire stage. Sure, you can go for higher ranks by holding B, but it still sucks to play + there's basically no motivation to do so, outside of achievements and whatnot. And the level designs themselves genuinely SUCK. I don't know what happened to the level designers from the first game, but they clearly needed to come back for this one, because GOOD LORD. These stages are TERRIBLE. Really the only ones I enjoyed were the Sonic/Shadow stages (although there's a severe lack of Shadow stages for whatever reason), and SOME of the Rouge stages. The level design for the stages I don't like feel tedious. Just the same, boring and repetitive shit you've been doing the last 14 hours. Spam B, fly in circles until your Radar dings, where's the variety? Yes, SA1 had a similar issue, but each gameplay style was different and shorter than Sonic’s, making it feel more fun to switch around characters. The only dud in SA1 was Big’s fishing, but other than that, SA1 was a fun, albeit slightly dated game. SA2 on the other hand, feels repetitive and bland. And when it isn't that, it's frustrating as all hell. And we all know where that applies most. Mad Space was my breaking point. It's genuinely one of, if not the WORST Sonic levels ever made. The antithesis when it comes to fun design. I was so close to beating SA2, but I just gave up here. Going through this War of Attrition was just soul crushing to me. And that's where I just stopped playing. Sonic Adventure 2 is one of my least favorite Sonic games, and I'm shocked at how such poor design is acclaimed by the Sonic community to this day. I didn't bring up every issue I had in this review, but I don't really feel like it. SA2 is just not a fun game in my opinion. Overall, SA2 is just terrible to me.
Haha April fools you got PRANKED LMFAFAOAOAOOOAOAOOAOAO! Sex is FUNNY! WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU LAUGHING?!?!?!
Genuine spoiler warning; Play this game first before reading this review. You'll enjoy this little look at the game a bit more if you do. I actually recommend the game, but for a different reason than you may think.
Does anyone seriously find joy in this holiday? Whatever; anyways. Cave Story Sex RPG 2007, released in circa 2007 based on the title! Right off the bat, saving apparently soft locked my game??? You can tell where this is going already, can't you? Also the music doesn’t loop properly, as I found out while typing this review. Aaaand that’s it. You're stuck in this room for the rest of your life. Well, that was short! Damn shame, Bagenzo. I'm not sure if the reviews on this game are trolling or what, because I genuinely cannot progress as far as I know. A shame, but oh well, the game was a minute long. It might've been a test or something.
Okay, upon further key spamming, I found out if you press S you can progress! The game calls you a dweeb for stealing Chako’s lipstick (from the original game) and then tells you to sleep. And then someone (presumably Curly? I can't tell) talks about the Mimigma. Then you go to the PC, and then the books tell you this character’s past, and it’s genuinely deep shit??? I’m not even joking, it talks about why the creator stopped making games, and even their family. And it somewhat speaks to me as someone who makes reviews almost daily, and some of the annoyances that come with content creation in general. It talks about how robots cannot be changed (which I'll get into later). But it eventually ends, and you go to the bed to remove water from Curly. And then finally, the game reflects on the main character’s life before the game loops indefinitely.
Okay, that was shockingly deep despite the game’s title. But there's something I think the game is trying to tell us, and I'll try and piece it all together (this is 100% an unironic section, there's no jokes here). First, some of the tags on the itch.io page hints towards the overall message. “LGBT”? More specifically, “Transgender”? While I am a cisgender male myself, what I am as is Bisexual as fuck, so I'm still involved in the LGBT community to some extent. And based on what I do know about being transgender (although I did consider myself non-binary midway through 2021), I'll try to provide my best understanding of the story. First off, most of the story is told in retrospective; referencing the character’s past experiences with Cave Story (the game). This is the character’s former identity, as a cisgender person, likely in 2007 based on the title. Talking about the games they made in the past, they also talk about family. I believe this character is a creator inspired by Cave Story, with numerous ideas that ended up fruitless, with close family that is touchy to the character in the present. The character's current identity is transgender, evidenced by both the game’s tags, as well as the description, with the line “Reassignment to Pretty Girl”. Additionally, on the topic of the family mentioned in the game, I believe that the main character's family was unsupportive of their transition, which is not uncommon for trans experiences. After further researching Bagenzo’s website linked on their itch.io profile, the bottom of their page denotes that they are transgender. So this might also be a self biography of the creator themselves. I was genuinely not expecting that from a game dubbed “Cave Story Sex RPG 2007”.
Okay, I unironically recommend this game. This is a quick little biography of a Creator's life, and I didn't want to knock it too much, nor tell too many jokes, because I felt like it would be in poor taste. If I got anything wrong in my story analysis, feel free to correct me as once again, I am not Trans. But yeah, I wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much in retrospect. If I had to give a score… uhhhhhh… none! Once again, I don't want to knock it too much. Could've explained the controls (how the fuck do I not know how to advance in a visual novel?), but it's whatever. I enjoyed it a bit.
Genuine spoiler warning; Play this game first before reading this review. You'll enjoy this little look at the game a bit more if you do. I actually recommend the game, but for a different reason than you may think.
Does anyone seriously find joy in this holiday? Whatever; anyways. Cave Story Sex RPG 2007, released in circa 2007 based on the title! Right off the bat, saving apparently soft locked my game??? You can tell where this is going already, can't you? Also the music doesn’t loop properly, as I found out while typing this review. Aaaand that’s it. You're stuck in this room for the rest of your life. Well, that was short! Damn shame, Bagenzo. I'm not sure if the reviews on this game are trolling or what, because I genuinely cannot progress as far as I know. A shame, but oh well, the game was a minute long. It might've been a test or something.
Okay, upon further key spamming, I found out if you press S you can progress! The game calls you a dweeb for stealing Chako’s lipstick (from the original game) and then tells you to sleep. And then someone (presumably Curly? I can't tell) talks about the Mimigma. Then you go to the PC, and then the books tell you this character’s past, and it’s genuinely deep shit??? I’m not even joking, it talks about why the creator stopped making games, and even their family. And it somewhat speaks to me as someone who makes reviews almost daily, and some of the annoyances that come with content creation in general. It talks about how robots cannot be changed (which I'll get into later). But it eventually ends, and you go to the bed to remove water from Curly. And then finally, the game reflects on the main character’s life before the game loops indefinitely.
Okay, that was shockingly deep despite the game’s title. But there's something I think the game is trying to tell us, and I'll try and piece it all together (this is 100% an unironic section, there's no jokes here). First, some of the tags on the itch.io page hints towards the overall message. “LGBT”? More specifically, “Transgender”? While I am a cisgender male myself, what I am as is Bisexual as fuck, so I'm still involved in the LGBT community to some extent. And based on what I do know about being transgender (although I did consider myself non-binary midway through 2021), I'll try to provide my best understanding of the story. First off, most of the story is told in retrospective; referencing the character’s past experiences with Cave Story (the game). This is the character’s former identity, as a cisgender person, likely in 2007 based on the title. Talking about the games they made in the past, they also talk about family. I believe this character is a creator inspired by Cave Story, with numerous ideas that ended up fruitless, with close family that is touchy to the character in the present. The character's current identity is transgender, evidenced by both the game’s tags, as well as the description, with the line “Reassignment to Pretty Girl”. Additionally, on the topic of the family mentioned in the game, I believe that the main character's family was unsupportive of their transition, which is not uncommon for trans experiences. After further researching Bagenzo’s website linked on their itch.io profile, the bottom of their page denotes that they are transgender. So this might also be a self biography of the creator themselves. I was genuinely not expecting that from a game dubbed “Cave Story Sex RPG 2007”.
Okay, I unironically recommend this game. This is a quick little biography of a Creator's life, and I didn't want to knock it too much, nor tell too many jokes, because I felt like it would be in poor taste. If I got anything wrong in my story analysis, feel free to correct me as once again, I am not Trans. But yeah, I wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much in retrospect. If I had to give a score… uhhhhhh… none! Once again, I don't want to knock it too much. Could've explained the controls (how the fuck do I not know how to advance in a visual novel?), but it's whatever. I enjoyed it a bit.
2013
Bought for PokeTransporter alone, because the eShop was closing, making it inaccessible. Fun times!
2023
DestroyerOfMid is foaming at the mouth rn
Dark Witch fans stared me dead into the eyes and told me this was worth $30.
It’s JUST Solitaire but with some VTubers. Good character design, but if you like VTubers, I think there might be a perfect site for them. No Dark Witch twist, nor actual clever gameplay. Why would you EVER buy this? Look at Holocure or Holo X Break, and those fuckers are making actually fun VTuber games for FREE!
This is the Dark Witch equivalent of the “Mario Slapped on A Box” joke. Needless to say, if you want an actually fun game, play Balatro instead. What a joke.
It’s JUST Solitaire but with some VTubers. Good character design, but if you like VTubers, I think there might be a perfect site for them. No Dark Witch twist, nor actual clever gameplay. Why would you EVER buy this? Look at Holocure or Holo X Break, and those fuckers are making actually fun VTuber games for FREE!
This is the Dark Witch equivalent of the “Mario Slapped on A Box” joke. Needless to say, if you want an actually fun game, play Balatro instead. What a joke.
A month back, I had reviewed Super Meat Boy Forever on this site. I cited it as one of the worst games I had ever played, being frustrating in nature, lacking lots of polish and a sense of overall direction. It was an impersonation of what the original game stood for, and what the game stood for. During the development of Purple Platoon Panic, a commonly cited inspiration was Super Meat Boy Forever. A large amount of flaws I had with Forever were only highlighted when I played Purple Platoon Panic. I checked out this game thanks to Salt N’ Spam’s video on it, comparing it to Forever in several aspects. A lot of our ideas paralleled each other for both games as we had similar issues with Forever, but I’d still recommend watching his Purple Platoon Panic review, as well as his Forever review, as he goes more in-depth to the game compared to me. The links to both are here and here, respectively. Tell them that ZeusDeeGoose sent you.
I was surprised at how fun Purple Platoon Panic was, how it encourages experimentation with the levels while maintaining Super Meat Boy Forever’s simplistic controls. For the true Super Meat Boy Forever (and intended, I guess?) experience, I played it on mobile, and it works like a charm. I wish that it wasn’t locked to browsers as I had some weird issues with iOS highlighting the game in blue text, and uppercutting is a bit cumbersome without multi-tap, but I won’t fault it for that as it can also be played on PC without issues. For starters, I complained in the original that the controls were incredibly limited, with only a jump, punch, and slide, which didn’t work when the levels expected you to speed through it to get the A Rank, in an auto runner. Mastering the “levels” be damned, you just needed to spam jump, punch, dive on repeat to get the A Rank. And if you wanted more excuses to break a fucking keyboard, you have to do it all deathless for 100%. It doesn’t sound fun, and that’s because it isn’t. Bird Tapper fixes all of this. First off, you have a triple jump, and an uppercut. No longer are levels locked to the same unfun controls than before, it feels much more expansive and has a wider degree of control. If you fuck up and jump too early, you can actually correct yourself, rather than being locked into your own doom. It’s not an easy game per se, but the game is forgiving to your mistakes as you achieve mastery of the game mechanics. This lack of consideration plagued the deathless achievements of the original Forever, as you had to input everything essentially perfectly in order to win, which wasn’t the case in the original at all. The levels in Bird Tapper take full advantage of the greater focus on controls, by making each level have a score count. Each score threshold represents 3 things; your first clear of the level is Bronze; the baseline skill level. It’s easy to get and can often be done on your first try. Silver is an intermission between being new and mastering the level. It’s often achieved by going for Gold ranks, which represent complete mastery of the the level. The primary challenge is to chain as many enemy kills without touching the ground, which resets the combo, and you really have to use everything to your advantage. For example, knocking the soldiers into each other instantly kills them, and adds to your combo chain, which is needed if you want to kill an enemy behind a bomb, for example. The game encourages you to keep trying for those higher ranks, as they’re directly tied to your progression. The rankings of Bird Tapper are nearly perfect. It allows players to get accustomed to the game, and invest either the bare minimum, or the upper limits of skill level in the game. A solid game all around; Purple Platoon Panic is short, yet sweet, and offers a better experience than Forever with great tunes blasting in the background. It’s quite literally free, so I highly suggest that you check it out if you have the time. And I highly suggest the developers to create a Steam release containing a gajillion more levels with the same design philosophy as beforehand and a level editor, because it’s really fun and I would buy it. Me and my Steam Deck would be happy.
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh binding of isaac rebirth review series coming soon, been in the works for a while now but it’s coming to fruition now. hope you enjoy! oh and spunky 2 coming soon woooooooooooooooooooooo!
also fun fact: i submitted this to igdb
I was surprised at how fun Purple Platoon Panic was, how it encourages experimentation with the levels while maintaining Super Meat Boy Forever’s simplistic controls. For the true Super Meat Boy Forever (and intended, I guess?) experience, I played it on mobile, and it works like a charm. I wish that it wasn’t locked to browsers as I had some weird issues with iOS highlighting the game in blue text, and uppercutting is a bit cumbersome without multi-tap, but I won’t fault it for that as it can also be played on PC without issues. For starters, I complained in the original that the controls were incredibly limited, with only a jump, punch, and slide, which didn’t work when the levels expected you to speed through it to get the A Rank, in an auto runner. Mastering the “levels” be damned, you just needed to spam jump, punch, dive on repeat to get the A Rank. And if you wanted more excuses to break a fucking keyboard, you have to do it all deathless for 100%. It doesn’t sound fun, and that’s because it isn’t. Bird Tapper fixes all of this. First off, you have a triple jump, and an uppercut. No longer are levels locked to the same unfun controls than before, it feels much more expansive and has a wider degree of control. If you fuck up and jump too early, you can actually correct yourself, rather than being locked into your own doom. It’s not an easy game per se, but the game is forgiving to your mistakes as you achieve mastery of the game mechanics. This lack of consideration plagued the deathless achievements of the original Forever, as you had to input everything essentially perfectly in order to win, which wasn’t the case in the original at all. The levels in Bird Tapper take full advantage of the greater focus on controls, by making each level have a score count. Each score threshold represents 3 things; your first clear of the level is Bronze; the baseline skill level. It’s easy to get and can often be done on your first try. Silver is an intermission between being new and mastering the level. It’s often achieved by going for Gold ranks, which represent complete mastery of the the level. The primary challenge is to chain as many enemy kills without touching the ground, which resets the combo, and you really have to use everything to your advantage. For example, knocking the soldiers into each other instantly kills them, and adds to your combo chain, which is needed if you want to kill an enemy behind a bomb, for example. The game encourages you to keep trying for those higher ranks, as they’re directly tied to your progression. The rankings of Bird Tapper are nearly perfect. It allows players to get accustomed to the game, and invest either the bare minimum, or the upper limits of skill level in the game. A solid game all around; Purple Platoon Panic is short, yet sweet, and offers a better experience than Forever with great tunes blasting in the background. It’s quite literally free, so I highly suggest that you check it out if you have the time. And I highly suggest the developers to create a Steam release containing a gajillion more levels with the same design philosophy as beforehand and a level editor, because it’s really fun and I would buy it. Me and my Steam Deck would be happy.
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh binding of isaac rebirth review series coming soon, been in the works for a while now but it’s coming to fruition now. hope you enjoy! oh and spunky 2 coming soon woooooooooooooooooooooo!
also fun fact: i submitted this to igdb