(i like the psp version more)OHHHHHHH GO AHEAD MAKE LOVE TO MEEEEEE
AND THE MASK IT FREES US FREEEEEEE
WITH YOUR RINGLET METRONOMMMMMMMMME
AND I KNOWWWWW WITHOUT THE SLIGHTEST DOUBTTTTTTT
THE CYBORG AND ANDROIDDDDDDDDD
WILL MAKE THE PERFECT MATCHHHHHH
OH BABY, BABY

" it doesn't take much to turn "impossible" into "i am possible." (that`s your dream, calling.)
the heart has wings;
i have taken the leap;
it's your turn! "

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W__p0gCBSZI

Gitaroo Man is both a prime example of that specific Y2K Humanitarian Aesthetic that is typically equated to stuff like FLCL or Team Ico games, while also being a sisyphian nightmare about conquering impossibly difficult sequences that, if I was a less game-literate reviewer, would call "The Dark Souls of Rhythm Games". I stayed up all night to beat this game, foolishly opting into the "hard" option which I weaved in and out of in the late game, each of it's 10 fights taking longer than the last (with 3 exceptions). For every attempt, I stood, nodded and danced through it's vicious trails of riffs and thumb-blistering QTE's. I hesitantly give it a five, because the four others have so profoundly impacted my life in the time I've had apart from them, and I just cleared this game this morning, but screw it. I wrote 1000 words about it's lauding it's philosophy and aesthetic sensibilities, so I might as well commit to a perfect score, although I will gladly admit the game is occasionally quite imperfect. This is the first game I played after a 3-day process of installing an HDD into my console and possibly the last game I will complete before heading off to college for another year after a year off. It's become both a comfort that hurts me and the very thesis for how I've grown in the last year. Be it how I appreciate works, analyze the intent of an ideas presence, my philosophies or the types of music or aesthetic that appeals to me, this game seems to be the perfect manifestation of it. Whether anyone is reading this or not, I don't care, I just want to try to put to words out there in the void about how profoundly this game impacted me. I typically dislike rhythm games. Parappa, to me, was an aesthetic nightmare, Rhythm Heaven too menial, and many others having difficulty towing the line of too technically simple and brain-meltingly difficult. Nonetheless, I went in with high hopes. From visuals alone, I was hooked, if not concerned by the fact I had died 5 times to the second level in the game. It was almost shocking to me that I had never encountered a rhythm game that sounded this good. Sure, Muse Dash had it's moments, but each song was both perfectly crafted for the exact visual and emotional experience and a complete piece of music in a vacuum from the original IP. After the techno-bliss that was the UFO level, I faced possibly one of my greatest video game boss experiences I've had since the Bloodborne DLC or the infamous Senator Armstrong: Mojo King Bee. A sublime and jazzy combination of Disco Stu and the Bumblebee Man from The Simpsons, battling against this suave man and his legion of swamp creatures as back-up vocalists was such a massive difficulty spike from the previous two encounters that I had to give my all to get through. I downed three cups of water during my attempts, my mouth drying out completely after every encounter. I motivated myself with a snack when it began to feel hopeless. I collapsed to the floor a couple times, my heart crumbling with each overly-seductive "oh... you lose", swaying, tensing with every note, I had to become the rhythm. The thrill I felt reaching the "Final" stage of the fight with a good pool of health left, nailing every note, heart racing at 150+ BPM, someone is knocking on my door, but all I can push out is a scream to usher them away. As the final note passes, I collapse, the sense of euphoria that washes over me can only be described as orgasmic. My stomach dropped, having not eaten in eight hours and I ate my snack. I had gotten better, tapped in to what I can only describe as an extended, more dynamic cut of the Undyne Undying boss fight without the pauses to choose attacks. Each fight is not only a battle of attrition, but conceives a new way to challenge your very dexterity, all while jamming out. Each fight brings forth this very specific emotion, a new music genre, that perfectly reflects how the main character, Uichi, feel: confusion, swagger, fear, love, obligation, control, melancholy and destiny. The fights seem to each be a physical manifestation of what it means to grow up. This game broke the very limit of what I thought I was capable of, and I haven't yet been able to clear the first episode of master mode. Like life, this game beats you to a pulp, then offers it's hand to give you another chance until eventually, through all that you have seen, learned and tried, you are able to fight to the goal post and smile, the emotions spilling out of you justifying the time spent and passing on a glorifying sense of accomplishment, no matter how ultimately minute the victory may be. The next morning after conquering the final boss, I returned to Mojo King Bee and, after a few unchallenging attempts, cleared the fight with an A-rank and a nearly full health bar. Over night, I had "got good", so to speak, developed my rhythmic intelligence and dexterity enough to crush that which had, only twelve hours ago, physically brought me to my knees. This game kicked ass, kicked my ass and made me long to live. It never cheated me, only asking for absolute skill, and will continue to challenge me for days to come. I'm thrilled to know that the music of this game is now in my life and that I can always come back to it to see how much I can challenge myself and grow in it's tiny space amidst 70 other titles in OPL. As I've written this, I've had the pillows-esque Legendary Theme looping in the background, languishing after that feeling I can only describe as "Keep riding on towards the setting sun, across monumental steel bridges and grassy roads... With wind in your hair, music in your ears and love in your heart, never stop. When the gas runs out, run. When you tire, walk. Just keep moving forward and live for every second of that journey". A near perfect gaming experience I am absolutely delighted to have come upon and one I will be telling people with zero interest in retro gaming about for days to come. Listen to the soundtrack, play the game if you can (can really only recommend on original hardware to prevent experience-ruining spurious input lag) and keep living on.
And if all of that didn't sell you on it, the love interest is voiced by Princess Bubblegum.

The legendary theme and all its variations alone gets this game 4 stars

The other star comes from how charming it all is, U-1 is a stupid idiot child but i love him, goes on this little non sensical journey to idk build confidence and it's all just really sweet to watch despite the very obvious glaring issues of for example, a super cheesy dub and bare bones plot etc, I don't really care though as they just kinda add to my enjoyment I love u-1 having a forever cold. and also the plot is just kinda sweet and I somehow end up liking the charcters, though that's almost defintley due to how amazing the music is, like when the legendary theme comes back I somehow end up caring about U1 and this random girl. Oh and also the gameplay is just super fun, and I'm not the biggest rhythm game fan.

Overall just a super fun game to just sit down and replay at any times + it has one of my favourite osts.
so
Play it, it's like the best rhythm game

[previously shelved review around May I said "
pisses me off"]

WELL. I did it. I finally beat the thumbfuckenest game ive ever seen, many told me to switch to the PSP version but I told them Fuck no i wanna get better. I almost got weenie buffered out of playing this shit entirely because sometimes it felt like doing the guitar wiggles on a ps2 controller isnt accurate or just straight up will not register so it just feels safer to just hold the control stick in that way and move it up and down in the designated curve... deep inhale
and youd think that means this game's gameplay boils into a lot of that but actually nah its a ps2 stylized rhythm/music game, the hit detection and latency issues have long since been fine to adjust to like parappa the rapper 2 showed me

This game fucks, but just like the parappa games I think it fucks Enough for me to say that I love it but its not one of my favorite games of all time or anything. Let me explain

The sheer variety in how much shit you do with your guitar (gitaroo in this case) is so awesome and switching between phases of Charge, Battle and the Final are so gnarly. My personal favorites are Flyin' To Your Heart, Tainted Lovers, Beejam Blues, Overpass omg AND OFC THE LEGENDARY THEME RULES!!!!! The dub is also one of those cheesy dubs that feels like a low budget anime but you can get the vibe that each voice actor is holding their own in those lines, just kinda funny!!

I also think sometimes when youre on Guard phase it just slaps you with whatever the fuck in those later sections, but i never let that stop me from persevering

The story itself is pretty simple and fun, empowering and wholesome too, even if i think the final scene is kind of "What lol" like Good For Them ig
I think gitaroo man conveys a lot through it's music and that is that your raw emotion is your gitaroo and if you believe in yourself that's the first step to riffing your way up, whether its aimless or weird or even bracketed in.. your gitaroo is your own and nobody can take that shit from your cold dead hands

Uhhhhhhhh BUT YEA its a cool game, definitely one of the best stylized rhythm/music games ive ever played. It's not too long and if you think this version is harder than mammoth shit and u feel like ur gonna get carpal tunnel or something for all the Melvins out there, u can just play the PSP version
Ur only missing out on it not being 60fps if u play that version and the controls are (allegedly) tighter!

Crazy ass game that immediately had me hooked from the sheer insanity they present. Stylistically everything about this game just oozes with personality. Everything from the over the top scenarios and occurrences to the extremely cheesy love sequences truly showcase just how unapologetically imaginative it is. Alongside this, from a gameplay perspective, you’re given a surprisingly solid challenge that isn’t made artificial due to input issues that many other rhythm games struggled from. Even playing this emulated I had pretty much no issues regarding input and any mistake that occurred was entirely my fault. Overall, this game is such an interesting title that is undoubtedly worth anyone’s time.