Y'know, for a corporate marketing gimmick, this was actually sort of fun to play for what it was. I think my favorite levels were the first two with the skateboard grinding mechanic, but I enjoyed the little bit of variety we got along the way. The chiptune music was fun and I enjoyed the challenge factor in trying to collect all the Grimace shakes in the allotted time. I didn't particularly like the sparse moments of dialogue between the characters as it tried to be too trendy and modern in a bit of a corporate cringe way. Overall though this was this was very believable in what one might've expected from a licensed Game Boy game of that era and I'm glad it was part of this year's dumb Grimace campaign.

Between Ronald, the Hamburglar, Birdie, and the other McDonald Land characters, Grimace was always my favorite one out of the bunch. I thought he looked cool and he always gave off a friendly, wholesome vibe even if he was originally introduced as a villain. Upon hearing the news that McDonald's was celebrating Grimace's birthday, I was pleased because McDonald's has finally begun to start acknowledging the McDonald Land gang again, even moreso that they used my favorite character for their promotion.

The story is pretty much in the title. Its Grimace's birthday and he wants to celebrate, but his friends are missing and he has to go find them. Along the way, you collect as many shakes as possible for everyone who is attending the party.

It's both a platformer and a skating game. You go from point A to point B grinding on rails and collecting shakes in the process. Like some of the previous McDonald's games that came before it, it is an entertaining platformer. I'd list more of the positives, but for how short this game is there isn't much else to say.

My only problem with the game is as mentioned, it is too short. Around the time I thought I was halfway finished with the game, I saw the ending play and the credits roll. I came in expecting to beat it in at least 45 minutes to an hour, but it took me about 20 minutes and probably even less than that if I had to guess. I know its sole purpose is to advertise a limited edition milkshake, but I would have appreciated if they made it just a little bit longer.

In the end, it's a neat little promo they made and it shows that they put a lot more care & effort into advertising the Grimace shake than they ever needed to. Sadly, I never tried out the Grimace shake and it took me serveral months after the celebration for me to get around to playing this game. I may have been late to the party but I still got to celebrate the birthday of my favorite purple goofball from the McDonald Land crew.

I should preface this by saying I had the privilege of playing this on an actual Gameboy because a friend bought me a bootleg reproduction cartridge of the game. However, Grimace's Birthday is free on mobile and online. The game is a very short platformer, you can beat it in an hour. But putting length aside, if this game had come out 24 years ago during the GBC's heyday, it would be considered a cult classic. Def worth checking out if you enjoy handheld games from that period. It's also just nice to see some of these characters again. I know they're hollow fast food mascots, but I admit I have nostalgia for them. As the late, great Mayor McCheese once said "Nothing can kill the Grimace".

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 Fuck This 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

I think this utilization of indie devs as a guerilla advertising force is enormously fucked up. It'll almost definitely dilute the indie scene and what videogames we talk about going forward. However, it's nothing new, in the sense that liscensed flash game shlock to sell products have been around forever (remember those LCD happy meal games? It's just like that but updated). It's a polished face to an age-old exploitation. Instead of giving the substanceless game the respect of actually getting direct scorn, which would ultimately embolden the product's aim of attention grabbing. Or otherwise meming around the existence of this which would flaccidly play right into its hands. Let's do a more 'macro informative' approach. Here's some interesting articles on recent abuses from the company in question to sate the appetite a bit:


Pandemic Racism
"McDonald’s actions speak louder than words. The reality is that 80 percent of McDonald’s majority Black and Brown workforce don’t have access to paid sick leave. That is dangerous under normal circumstances; during a global pandemic, it’s deadly." McDonald’s is Hiding Policies That Perpetuate Systemic Racism Behind Woke-Washing

Sexual Harrassment
"According to the lawsuit, since at least 2017, AMTCR knew about sexual harassment and allowed it to continue, unabated, by supervisors, managers, and coworkers at various of its McDonald’s restaurants. The harassing conduct, which was mainly directed at young, teenage employees, included frequent unwanted touching, offensive comments, unwelcome sexual advances, and intimidation. As AMTCR failed to adequately address the complaints of sexual harassment, many workers found the working conditions so intolerable that they had no choice but to quit." McDonald’s Franchise to Pay Nearly $2 Million to Settle EEOC Sexual Harassment Lawsuit


Corporate Malfeseance
"According to the SEC’s order, McDonald’s terminated Easterbrook for exercising poor judgment and engaging in an inappropriate personal relationship with a McDonald’s employee in violation of company policy. However, McDonald’s and Easterbrook entered into a separation agreement that concluded his termination was without cause, which allowed him to retain substantial equity compensation that otherwise would have been forfeited." SEC Charges McDonald’s Former CEO for Misrepresentations About His Termination

Check out The McDonald's Videogame (2006) by the dev team Molleindustria using Flashpoint to foster a better understanding of these corporate ghouls.

A Black Mass is a ceremony typically said to be celebrated by various Satanic groups. It has allegedly existed for centuries in different forms and is directly based on, and is intentionally a sacrilegious and blasphemous mockery of, a Catholic Mass.[1]

In the 19th century the Black Mass became popularized in French literature, in books such as Satanism and Witchcraft, by Jules Michelet, and Là-bas, by Joris-Karl Huysmans.

Modern revivals began with H. T. F. Rhodes' book The Satanic Mass published in London in 1954, and there is now a range of modern versions of the Black Mass performed by various groups.

History
Early Catholicism
The Catholic Church regards the Mass as its most important ritual, going back to apostolic times. In general, its various liturgies followed the outline of Liturgy of the Word, Offertory, Liturgy of the Eucharist and Benediction, which developed into what is known as the Mass. However, as early Christianity became more established and its influence began to spread, the early Church Fathers began to describe a few heretical groups practicing their own versions of Masses. Some of these rituals were of a sexual nature.[2] The fourth-century AD heresiologist Epiphanius of Salamis, for instance, claims that a libertine Gnostic sect known as the Borborites engaged in a version of the Eucharist in which they would smear their hands with menstrual blood and semen and consume them as the blood and body of Christ respectively.[3] He also alleges that, whenever one of the women in their church was experiencing her period, they would take her menstrual blood and everyone in the church would eat it as part of a sacred ritual.[4]

Medieval Roman Catholic parodies and additions to the Mass

Within the Church, the rite of the Mass was not completely fixed, and there were places at the end of the Offertory for the Secret prayers, when the priest could insert private prayers for various personal needs. These practices became especially prevalent in France (see Pre-Tridentine Mass). As these types of personal prayers within the Mass spread, the institution of the Low Mass became quite common, where priests would hire their services out to perform various Masses for the needs of their clients (Votive Masses)—such as blessing crops or cattle, achieving success in some enterprise, obtaining love, or even cursing enemies (one way this latter was done was by inserting the enemy's name in a Mass for the dead, accompanied by burying an image of the enemy). Although these practices were condemned by Church authorities as superstitious and sacrilegious abuses, they still occurred secretively. In the 12th and 13th centuries there was a great surplus of clerics and monks who might be inclined to perform these Masses, as younger sons were often sent off to religious universities, and after their studies, needed to find a livelihood. Also within the Church, the ritual of the Mass was sometimes reworked to create light-hearted parodies of it for certain festivities. Some of these became quasi-tolerated practices at times—though never accepted by official Church authorities—such as a festive parody of the Mass called "The Feast of Asses", in which Balaam's ass (from the Old Testament) would begin talking and saying parts of the Mass. A similar parody was the Feast of Fools. Though often condemned, practitioners of such activities, called "Goliards", continued despite the Church's disapproval.