Reviews from

in the past


One of the best examples of "so bad, its good" 90's FMV games I’ve experienced, Tender Loving Care is a bonkers mix of 90's “erotic” thriller and Lifetime movie. Watch John Hurt get more and more confused and disgusted as you descend into a torrent of the most divorced cis straight guy thoughts on psychology and sex imaginable; where bisexual women are all nymphomaniacs, homosexuality is weird unless its two traditionally attractive women making out, and the only minor mention of transgender identity is essentially treated as mental illness. This game would make Sigmund Freud tell them to simmer it down with the sex obsession. The game actually seems rather reactive with the questions John Hurt gives you after each chapter as there are multiple different endings and scenes that can play out depending on them. As I said ultimately this game is bad, but man it’s the kind of deranged purestrain FMV shenanigans we could only get out of the 90’s and never again. Definitely entertaining.

As a film, TLC is a feeble low budget Basic Instinct/Hand That Rocks the Cradle mash up that might hold your attention if it was 3am and you were under the influence. But as a game, it's an insanely hilarious camp-fest featuring John Hurt asking you wildly invasive sexually probing questions, rippled with classic movie clips and deranged diary entries from the characters. A fabulous experience for those with the right sense of humor.

this game is absolutely awful in every way BUT, its also incredibly funny, so

I REALLY enjoyed the thriller aspect of this game, seeing things spiral into insanity was crazy. Wasn't a fan of the excessive erotic talk, but besides that it's great.

This is a thriller movie with baked in 'psychological' quizzes. After every movie segment (roughly 10 minutes or so) you take a quiz, explore a 3D space of the House/Office, and take another quiz. These quizzes are basically novelty, they very often don't add much because a lot them don't even relate to the story in my opinion. They are a bunch of psychoanalysis questions about random stuff, and some asking you what you think about the characters in the story. Exploring the House is somewhat neat, the good part is getting to read diary entries left by the main 3 characters. I think they are pretty well written, especially Michael's. Would this be better without the constant interruptions? Yes. Would I say they add nothing? No.

The very sexual angle to take with this is somewhat weird. Having some sort of sex in this adds to the tension of the movie, makes sense. The sexual stuff in the extra quizzes/reading is probably too much(?). It's either diary stuff, which i think is fine, let's you know how ingrained sex is to these characters, but again, when it doesn't pertain to the main story its just whatever, kind of interesting to read, but doesnt add much. I'm not against attempting to explore sexual stuff, and I don't think this does it particularly bad, it's just a kind of weird mish mash of movie and school quizzes.

Edit: Coming back after awhile, I really enjoy this game's aesthetic. I love the style of the FMV segments. I dont know if I would call it like realistic, but it feels very inviting to warm 1990 summer that I can't have. Its got delightful 90's CG, cannot get enough of that shit. The soundtrack also has some real neat ambient pieces on it, and some other good pieces of music from the quizzes.


the concept of the game using quizzes to build a psychological profile of the player and having this profile determine your outcome is interesting. the problem with this game is literally everything else

This is what straight men think bisexual women are like.

Grief can show itself in ‘interesting’ ways

Some of the guys behind THE 7TH GUEST and THE 11TH HOUR go full 'interactive movie' and make an FMV erotic thriller. It turns out about as well as you would think.

The story is about three things: dealing with the loss of a child, psychotherapy, and sex, but let's be clear, it's really just that last one. The writing and presentation go far out of their way to try to class it up, but it's very obvious that they just wanted to make the "first" "adult" video game. It's overwhelmingly horny, but in a desperate, lame, middle-aged-guy-who-drives-a-red-convertible sort of way. So, needless to say, not 'erotic' in the fucking least.

Both the plot and the interactive bits (with certain scenes and the ending being changeable based on exploration, reading optional documents, and your answers to dumb psychological quizzes) hinge upon each of the major characters' motivations being ambiguous for most of the story, with their (variable) true intentions being revealed only at the end. The problem with this is that, with the exception of a hopefully well-paid John Hurt (who literally cannot help but lend some gravitas), none of the no-name actors in the other roles have anywhere near the chops necessary to carry that balancing act off, and the result is wild shifts in characterization and gaping plot holes if you end up following certain paths. Credit is due with regards to the endings - there are some pretty different outcomes possible, and they all work on paper, but many just feel wrong with the rest of the game, given that the awkward performances are either clearly leading in one direction for 95% of the thing, or are just schizophrenic and nonsensical the whole time. The writers bit off way more than the performers and the director could chew.

Tedium and pretention covering up dull game design ideas, pedestrian psychoanalysis, and cringey, basic-ass sexual fixations.

That premise actually got me mildly intrigued for a moment, and then the psychiatrist started stripping and I realized this was extremely pretentious softcore porn.